


Found

by justkindaherechilling



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Altea Incorporated (Super advanced company), Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Explicit Language, Flashbacks to the Garrison, Fluff, Galra Tech as rival company, Keith and Shiro are cousins, M/M, Minor Hunk/Allura, Minor Matt Holt/Shiro, Panic Attacks, SO MUCH FLUFF, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, lots of comfort, lots of fighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-04 20:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 130,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13372803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justkindaherechilling/pseuds/justkindaherechilling
Summary: Altea Incorporated is one the biggest tech companies in the world and they are about to make their biggest breakthrough: Voltron. But to Lance the only thing that matters is finding Keith after he disappeared three years ago, and for Keith the only thing that matters is keeping Lance safe.





	1. Incorrect Data

Lance sighed wearily and rubbed the heels of his hands into his tired eyes. The soft pattering of rain outside his window did little to sooth his frayed nerves. He rested his elbows on the desk in front of him and eyed the yards of red string connecting pictures, newspapers articles and handwritten scraps of paper. Lance’s eyes watered and he blinked several times to clear the exhaustion away. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

Thunder rumbled softly in the distance. Lance assumed the storm would pass over the city completely. But it was nice to hear the thunder. An alarm startled Lance from his reprieve. He picked up the slim orange device Pidge created and cringed when he saw the time. He didn’t know how many more sleepless nights he could manage.

He unlocked the phone like device and rang Shiro’s number. It rang until it went to voicemail. “Goddammit Shiro.” Lance sighed heavily. He tried Matt’s number next. It rang three times before Matt’s chipper voice filled his ear.

“This is Altea Incorporated, what can we help you with today?”

“Matt, its Lance.”

“Oh,” a pause, “What’s up man?”

Lance closed his eyes tightly. “Is Shiro in yet?”

“Not yet, he went out for coffee with Allura and Hunk.”

“Can you tell him I’m not coming in today? I feel like shit.”

There was another lengthy pause. “Have you been sleeping?”

Lance’s eyes flew open. He glared into the empty space of his studio apartment. “Matt.”

The other man sighed. “We know you’ve been struggling Lance, you don’t have to hide it all the time.”

“I’m fine. I’m just sick.” An edge crept into his voice. Lance grew irritated when he felt a light mist grow in his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah ok. I’ll let Shiro know. Try and get some sleep ok?” Matt didn’t wait for a reply as he hung up the phone. He looked up from his desk to his little sister’s office just across from his. Pidge sensed Matt’s gaze and looked up with concern already laced through her features.

She got up from her desk and made her way to Matt’s office. “What’s wrong?”

Matt pushed his glasses further up his nose. “It’s Lance. I don’t think he’s been sleeping.”

Pidge tugged at her bangs. “I thought he was getting better.”

“I think we all did.” There was a commotion from down the hall as Shiro, Hunk and Allura returned. Hunk had been laughing at something Allura had said but his smile faded when he noticed Matt and Pidge’s faces. His eyes went immediately to Lance’s dark office.

“Where Lance?” He questioned. Allura and Shiro’s expressions darkened.

“He said he’s sick. But I don’t think he’s been sleeping.” Matt answered tiredly. The five adults in the room all turned their gazes to the floor.

Hunk huffed, frustrated. “Why do you think he’s slipping again?”

“We’re a week out from the anniversary.” Shiro deadpanned. He ran his metal hand through his hair and pulled his white bangs back from his forehead. The mood in the room dropped even further.

All eyes turned to the office opposite of Lance’s; one that had remained dark for far too long. “Well,” Allura said with flash cheer, “There still is work to do. We can all drop by Lance’s apartment after work.”

The four trickled slowly from Matt’s office and to their own. Hunk sat heavily in his chair and spun around a few times before picking up his orange communicator. He fired off a message to Lance.

_Hey buddy, just wondering if you want some soup or something. Matt told us you’re under the weather_

A long minute passed before a message appeared on the screen.

_Thanks man but I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow_

Hunk groaned and picked up a file and attempted to focus on his work.

Back in his apartment Lance ran a hand over his face and tossed his communicator onto the bed. It landed on the opposite side of where Lance usually sleeps, a part of the bed that hadn’t been used in ages.

He picked up the pillow and ran a gentle hand along the cotton’s surface. He pressed his face to it briefly but tore it away just as quickly. Even his smell was gone now.

Frustrated Lance stalked to his bathroom and ripped his shirt over his head. The rest of his clothes followed and he turned the shower water as hot as it would go. He stood under the unrelenting spray in an attempt to work the knots from his neck and shoulders. They used to take showers together before work almost every morning.

_Lance would gently tug on a strand of black hair, “I still think it’s a mullet.”_

_He would turn around and glare playfully, “I could always cut it all off.”_

_Lance would take him into his arms, “No, don’t. Long hair suits you.”_

Lance bit his lip hard as tears filled his eyes. He leaned his head against the cool tile surface and took a couple of deep and steadying breathes. The water turned cold eventually and Lance finally stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Brushing the condensation from the mirror he took a good look at the face that stared back at him.

Despite having fairly tanned skin he looked almost sickly. The dark circles under his eyes were almost black. Disgusted of looking at the damage three days without sleep had done Lance pulled a pair of loose fitting gray sweatpants low over his hips and wandered back into his living room. The rain had picked up in intensity drowning out the early morning sounds of the city.

His feet drew him back to the board that had taken over the wall above his desk. His deep blue eyes flitted from picture to picture until they finally settled on the picture in the center. With shaking hands Lance pulled it down and gripped it tightly in his hands. The picture wasn’t that old, but Lance felt like he had aged 10 years since then.

The two smiling faces in the photo suddenly swam out of focus as Lance’s eyes filled with tears.

Three years. It had been _three years_ since Lance had held him last. Three years since they had kissed, three years since he had cooked a horrible meal Lance had pretended to love. Wiping furiously at his eyes he placed the picture gently down on his desk.

Three years Lance had spent trying to find him. Three years filled with thousands of false leads and too many broken hearts for Lance to count.

Gulping down a sob Lance sank slowly down the wall. He pulled one his black hoodies off the chair. Lance used to wear his clothes all the time, until he realized that they stopped to smell like him the longer he wore them. But this black hoodie was one Lance only wore at his weakest moments. He shrugged it over his shoulders and buried his face in the hood. He inhaled deeply and finally let a choked sob escape him.

Turning his face back to the board Lance whispered, “Don’t worry Keith, I’m going to find you, if it’s the last thing I do.”

 

****

“Mom, I’m going to be fine, I promise.” Lance said as he attempted to detangle himself from the death grip his mother had on him.

She finally let go and wiped a tissue beneath her eyes. “I know, I know. But it’s not everyday that a mother has to drop her son off at the Garrison.”

Lance smiled reluctantly and placed a kiss in the center of her forehead. “But I’m not alone, Hunk is going to be with me the whole way.”

His mother smiled and gave him one last long and powerful hug. “I am so proud of you.” She whispered in his ear, “And I know your father would be too.”

Lance felt his eyes go misty. His father had passed away just a year ago, right before Lance found out he had been accepted at the Garrison. But Lance knew he would have been proud. The Garrison was one of the most technologically advanced schools in the world, and nearly impossible to get in.

Hunk had brought up the idea of the Garrison when they were still in middle school. They had been sitting on the roof of Lance’s house and gazing at the stars. “Lance?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“You’ve heard of the Garrison right?”

“That super fancy school that opened last year? Yeah, why?”

“I kinda want to go.” Hunk had said nervously, sitting up and wringing his hands together.

“Isn’t it like, almost impossible to get in though?” Lance asked.

Hunk shrugged. “Not if you work really hard. We’ll be freshmen in high school at the end of the summer. That’s four years to make sure we get the best grades.”

Lance sat up slowly and gazed off to the ocean in the distance. “Let’s do it.” He said suddenly.

Hunk turned to his friend with wide eyes. “You mean it?”

Lance’s pulled up in a half smirk. “Why not? Never hurts to try.” If Lance had know what he was agreeing to he might not have been as eager to run full stop into the idea of getting into the Garrison.

High school is normally four years of hell on its own, but Hunk and Lance doubled their works loads. The only took advanced AP and college credit courses and more often than not they were drowning in homework. They were both involved in 4 schools clubs, all which met once or twice a week. On top of all of that they volunteered multiple places outside of school, desperate to make sure they looked as overachieving as possible.

There were nights Lance cried himself to sleep over all the work he had failed to get done. He lost weight and there were days that his anxiety kicked into overdrive. Out of nowhere he would have panic attacks that left him shaking and sweaty and feeling more alone than he ever thought possible.

He and Hunk would fight a lot, usually about whether or not it was worth it to put up with all the torture. By the time senior year rolled around Lance was a shadow of his former happy go lucky self. He was always exhausted and hardly spoke to any outside of Hunk and a girl they had met through their online college courses. Her name was Pidge and she was only 15, but already vastly smarter than Lance could ever hope to be. But she was a good friend and was always willing to help Lance with his science projects.

Bending to his mother’s wishes Lance had applied to several Ivy League colleges and had been accepted into all of them. But none of that mattered to him. He had gone through four years of hell for one thing: the Garrison.

Though his friends and extended family supported him in everything he did, no one pushed Lance to reach his goals like his father did. Lance had always looked up to his father. He was a kind man with an equally gentle heart. He had a soft spot for all his children, but for his youngest son especially.

Lance’s two older brothers were everything a father could want, hard working, and jocks in high school and married by the time they finished college. Lance was… different. He had always leaned more toward his feminine side and hated sports. Lance had always struggled with depression and anxiety growing up, and the constant bullying from his peers didn’t help. Hunk was one of Lance’s only friends and he defended Lance with all he had.

Lance always had a feeling he might be disappointing his dad, but he was too terrified to bring it up. Briefly in middle school Lance tried to be like his older brothers. He tried sports only to end up getting hurt. He would ask girls out only to get rejected. He stopped doing his skin care routine and let the hairdresser buzz cut his hair. But all of this just made Lance even more miserable. He spiraled into one of the worst depressive episodes he had to date.

His family immediately took notice and tried to help him, but Lance was determined to force himself into a mold he didn’t fit into. Lance remembers one evening he was sitting on the roof of his house and staring into the setting sun. He felt nothing. He felt empty. Noises behind him alerted him to someone climbing up the ladder. Hurriedly he dried his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie. Much to Lance’s horror his father sat next to him and patted him gently on the back. Lance turned his face away so his father wouldn’t see that he had been crying.

“Lance, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to answer it honestly.” He nodded to show that he had been listening. “Why are you trying so desperately to be someone you’re not?”

Lance’s head whipped around to stare at his father. “I’m not.” He answered defiantly.

His father shook his head. “Lance we’ve all watched as you’ve run yourself into the ground over the past year. You are only 11, there is so much sadness in your eyes.”

“I’m not sad.” Lance drew his knees to his chest and refused to look at his father.

“I know you are doing this to please me, to be like your older brothers. But its not you.”

A few tears slipped from Lance’s eyes. “But there’s something wrong with me.” He choked out.

Lance felt himself being pulled into his fathers embrace. He clung to the back of the worn flannel his dad wore. “I’m trying so hard to be normal.”

The arms that held him tighten their grip. “Lance, you don’t need to be normal. You just need to be you.” At that Lance let the floodgates open. He didn’t know how long his father let him cry but it felt good to let it all out. “Son I am going to ask you another question.” Again Lance nodded weakly into his father’s chest. “We made an appointment with a nice doctor. She wants to help you. Will you talk to her?”

Lance pulled away and wiped his nose on his sleeve. “Yeah.”

After that it was slow progress for Lance to feel like himself again. He started to let his hair grow out and he quit all the sports. Did a facemask here and there and everyday his relationship with his father grew stronger.

So it was a shock when Lance came home from school one day to find out his father had died without a chance for Lance to say goodbye, or tell him how much he loved him.

He had passed away suddenly from a heart attack, a rare occurrence with the modern medicine of the time. Lance’s family had been caught completely off guard and Lance had to try and fill his fathers shoes. His two older brothers had families of their own and couldn’t help to support their mother and four other siblings. So Lance had to get a job on top of everything else he already had on his plate.

His sleeping schedule was practically nonexistent and he hardly ate. He drew even further into himself and everyone around him was worried. His mother even tried to get him to drop some of the schools clubs, but Lance refused. He was doing it for his dad, and he would damned if anything would stop him.

At Hunk’s urging they sent their applications in at the same time so they would get their rejection or acceptance letters at the same time. The day Lance came home to that slick white envelope would be burned into his memory forever. He had called Hunk with shaking hands, demanding to know if he had gotten his letter as well.

Hunk had driven to Lance’s house and fought the urge to throw up the whole way. Neither of the boys had ever stopped to consider what would happen to their friendship if one of them got accepted and the other didn’t. Lance saw Hunk’s Jeep pull into his drive way and he sprinted out to meet him, letter in hand.

Hunk placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Can we promise each other one thing?” He asked nervously.

“What’s up buddy?” Lance hopped back and forth on the balls of his feet, full of nervous energy.

Hunk gulped, “No matter what, we will _always_ stay friends.”

Lance stopped bouncing and looked at Hunk carefully. “Always. You’re my best friend.”

They gripped their hands together for a long moment before turning their attention back to the envelopes that held their futures. “On the count of three?” Lance said, hardly above a whisper.” Hunk nodded. “One, two, THREE!” With that they ripped the envelopes open and ran their eyes over the standard print.

Lance’s vision swam and he had to read the opening line 20 times before he could look up at his best friend.

            _Dear Mr. Lance McClain,_

_We write to you with the upmost pleasure and honor. Throughout your high school years you have displayed the exact characteristics the Galaxy Garrison so strives for. You have proven that you are willing to go beyond normal measures in order to better your life and education. We cannot wait for you to walk our halls in the coming fall._

_Welcome to the Garrison._

_Sincerely, Commander in Chief, Iverson_

“Lance?” Hunk questioned breathlessly, he waved a hand in front of his face. “What does your letter say?”

Lance blinked a few times as the news settled on his shoulders. Soon a shit-eating grin broke open his face. “I got in.” He said in complete disbelief. “I got in. I GOT IN!” He cried. Before he started to celebrate he turned terror filled eyes to Hunk.

Before Lance could ask Hunk was smiling from ear to ear. “I got in too.” He turned his letter around to show Lance, his hand shaking even more than before.

“Holy _shit.”_ Lance whispered. They made eye contact and within seconds they were running through Lance’s front yard yelling and screaming as loud as they could. “WE GOT INTO THE GARRISON!” They both screamed.

“Lance McClain!” Lance’s mother shouted from the front porch. “What has gotten into you two?” She shoved her hands to her hips.

Lance turned toward his mother’s voice so fast he fell over. “Mama! MAMA! You’ll never believe it!” He picked himself up off the grass and ran to his mother and picked her up and spun her around. “I got into the Garrison!”

“Stop spinning me around before I get sick and tell me again!” His mother swatted at his hands.

“Hunk and I, we both got into the Garrison.” Lance said, tears of happiness finally flowing from his eyes.

She took Lance’s face in both her hands. “You did? Oh my boy.” They hugged for what seemed liked forever, Hunk eventually joining in because he never liked to miss out on a good hug. “I am so proud of both of you. You worked so hard, I am so happy to see that it all paid off.”

The boys smiled and looked at each other in disbelief. It still didn’t feel quite real. “Dude,” Hunk breathed, “We have to tell _everyone._ ”

Lance laughed at the expression on Hunk’s face. They had been told by so many people that they would never make it, that they were chasing after an unachievable dream. It would feel so good to rub their success in all those people’s faces. “Just wait till we tell Pidge!” Lance shouted over his shoulder as he ran into the house.

“I wonder if she got in too!” Hunk called after him. Lance’s mother watched the two boys galloping into the house with a soft smile on her face. She brushed tears from her eyes on the hem of her apron. She looked to the sky and blew a kiss to her late husband.

“We always knew our boy was destined for great things. Look at what he’s achieved.” With that she walked slowly back into the house, Hunk and Lance’s relieved laughter music to her ears.

           

Lance’s memory flew back to the present as he waved one last goodbye to his mother. Tears flowed from her eyes but she smiled as she waved goodbye. She drove the beat up old car away from the parking lot, leaving Lance to his future.

He spun slowly around and took in the four-story building that was to be his home for the next four years. He had just turned 18 last week and felt like he was on top of the world. Hunk soon joined him in staring up at the building. He nudged Lance with his shoulder. “Can you believe it? We’re finally here.”

Lance laughed and carded a hand into his hair and tugged. “I’m sorry for all those times I yelled at you for making me do my homework.”

Hunk smirked and headed for the front entrance. In total there were only 200 students at the Garrison. Much like a regular school or college there were four levels, not grades like freshman or senior, just four levels. You worked your way up the levels by finding an area you are proficient in and dedicating your life to the craft. You were never guaranteed a four year limit either, you graduated when the higher-ups deemed you worthy.

Only 50 new students were accepted each year, making it a miracle that Hunk, Lance and Pidge had all been accepted. The first floor of the building was mostly office spaces for the professors and commanders. The cafeteria was also located on the first level. Hunk couldn’t wait to try it out.

The second floor was all classrooms; divided into different sectors for the different study practices. The third floor housed the simulation areas. Depending on what you studied you might never get to use one of the simulators.

The fourth floor was where the dormitories were located. There wasn’t much to the rooms, but Lance figured he could do worse.

Lance and Hunk had debated on whether or not they should be roommates or not, but fear got the better of the both of them and they decided to live together. They figured they would meet enough new people in all their classes. “Should we start unpacking?” Hunk asked as they weaved through throngs of students at the front entrance.

“Might as well. The opening speeches aren’t for another two hours.” Lance took a deep breath as he tried to smile at all the new people. He was grateful that Hunk was here with him, he didn’t know if he could do it on his own. “We should try to find Pidge later.”

“Good idea. Maybe she can finally introduce us to her older brother.” Lance smiled at the thought. Since they had known her Pidge had talked nonstop about her older brother, Matt. He was starting his last year at the Garrison. From what Pidge had told them Matt was an extremely gifted technician. Computers practically kissed the ground the guy walked on.

Hunk and Lance pushed open the door to their room and took in the two barren beds and desks. “Where should we start?” Lance asked titling his head.

“Let’s just get the beds made and go from there.” Hunk unleashed himself on all the supplies their families had left the boys. After about an hour or so Hunk stepped back to admire his handiwork.

“Just like college.” He grinned over his shoulder at Lance. Hunk and Lance’s mothers insisted that they got matching bed sets and Lance did have to admit Hunk made their room look like a college dorm room add.

Lance slung an arm around his friends shoulder, “We did it buddy. Here’s to our futures.” A knock on their door sent them both spinning around. “Probably Pidge.” Lance opened the door to the girl in question.

“Lance!” She cried as she pulled him into a hug.

Lance laughed and hugged her back. “It’s good to see you Pidge.” They had only met Pidge in person one time before this. During the summer they had finally worked out a time that they were all free. It was a little weird to finally meet their online friend in person but it was nice to know at least one other person at the Garrison.

Pidge leapt from Lance’s arms to Hunk’s, earning more laughter and smiles. “Wow,” She said when she finally released Hunk, “Your room looks so cute.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Courtesy of our moms.”

Pidge checked her watch. “We still have about an hour before all the opening stuff. I want to introduce you guys to Matt.”

She hightailed it from the room and the boys followed her. Lance took in the crowds, still trying to get used to everyone in uniform. He silently shook his head. This orange did absolutely nothing for his complexion.

“Matt can’t wait to meet you guys. I’ve told him all about you.” Pidge threw over her shoulder. She was practically hopping down the hallway in excitement. Pidge was the youngest student the Garrison had ever accepted, she had just turned 16. Usually you had to be at least 17 to be even considered. But much like her brother she possessed a massive intellect. Lance knew she would do great things in the future.

“I just hope we live up to expectation.” Lance said jokingly. Pidge swatted his arm.

“Oh! There he is! Matt!” Pidge ran through the crowd and into her brother’s arms. “Lance, Hunk come on!”

Hunk met Lance’s eyes and shrugged. “Matt, these are my friends Lance and Hunk.”

Pidge looked a lot like her older brother Lance observed. They both had the same yellow blond hair and honey colored eyes. Matt’s hair was shorter though and stuck out at random angles from his head. Pidge had her mass of hair pulled into a ponytail.

“Nice to finally meet you two.” Matt said cheerfully, extending his hand.

Lance shook it firmly. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

Hunk shook Matt’s hand as well. “Pidge says you two are some pretty awesome friends. I can’t wait to see what you will accomplish here.”

The four stood in conversation for a while, mostly talking about their first day at the Garrison and what field of study they planned to aim for. “Matt!” The four turned toward the voice.

“Shiro!” Matt said happily. “I have some friends I want you to meet.” The man Lance assumed to be Shiro walked toward the group with a small smile on his face. Lance tried not to stare at the prosthetic arm or scar that ran across his nose. He couldn’t help but wonder what happened. “Shiro, this is Lance, Hunk and you already know Pidge. Lance and Hunk, this is my best friend Takashi Shirogane.”

Handshakes went around and Lance nervously eyed his new superior. “Glad to meet more of Pidge’s friends.” He said softly. He touched a hand to Matt’s back. “Have you seen my cousin anywhere?”

Matt shook his head. “I saw him arrive but I have no clue where he went.”

Shiro shook his head good-naturedly. “Figures.” He turned his attention to the three younger students. “My cousin is also a first year here. He’s an extremely gifted pilot.”

“Good to know.” Hunk said lightly. The group chuckled at that.

“Ah, there he is.” Shiro gestured behind the group. Lance turned and met the eyes of Shiro’s cousin. Lance had never seen a deeper shade of violet.

Shiro waited until the boy with violet eyes was by his side. “Lance and Hunk, this is my cousin, Keith Kogane.”

 

 ****

Lance groaned and rubbed at his eyes. He couldn’t fathom what woke him up until he registered the knocking on his door. He sat up slowly and listened.

“Lance? Buddy? It’s Hunk.”

Inhaling deeply Lance rubbed away his bedhead. He realized he was still wearing Keith’s hoodie. With a resigned sigh he took it off and laid it gently over the back of a chair. He put a light blue t-shirt on and walked through his silent apartment.

For a moment Lance thought about covering his information wall but he was too exhausted to care. He pried open the door and squinted at the sudden change of light. It was still raining outside but it was ten times brighter than it was inside the apartment.

Hunk offered a sad smile. He held up a pot between them, “I brought soup.”

“Thanks man.” Lance turned from the door and walked to the kitchen. Lance and Keith’s apartment had suited their lifestyle. They had gone back and forth about getting a house, but neither one of them wanted the added stress of up keeping an entire house. The apartment was an open space, with the living room and kitchen flowing together. There was a three quarter wall that divided the rest of the apartment from the bedroom and bathroom.

Hunk watched Lance’s retreating back and stepped into the dimly lit apartment. It was barren now, the only sign of life or interest the wall covered in what Lance considered to be important information. Hunk had been horrified when Lance first opened the door. He had never seen his friend look so pale, so exhausted, and so utterly defeated. Lance had been this way for a long time and it ripped Hunk’s heart in two. Keith had been Lance’s whole world.

Hunk didn’t know what hurt worse, standing here and watching Lance disappear slowly into himself, or the fact that Lance refused to believe that Keith was gone.

Lance glanced around at his kitchen and realized he hadn’t been on top of cleaning and started to sort out the dishes stacked in the sink.

Hunk placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Lemme take of that stuff.”

Lance lifted weary eyes to his. “Hunk it’s my mess.”

Hunk just quirked a brow and Lance knew he couldn’t protest. He sat heavily at the small table in the kitchen. “I’m sorry I wasn’t at work today.”

“No big deal,” Hunk offered as he started up the stove and ran hot water in the sink. “It was a slow day anyway.”

Lance was comforted by his friend’s presence. Ever since they were little Hunk had a way of knowing when Lance needed help and when he didn’t. “Matt and Shiro might stop by,” Hunk glanced over his shoulder, “If that’s ok.”

Lance only nodded and stared at his hands folded on the table. Hunk took a deep breath, “You’re starting to scare everyone buddy.”

Lance squeezed his eyes shut. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just…” His voice trailed away.

“It’s just what?”

“How has it been three years?” Lance’s voice hovered just above a whisper.

“Oh, Lance.” Hunk moved to his friend and wrapped him in a tight hug.

Lance’s fingers dug into Hunk’s back. “I miss him so much.” Hunk held on tighter. It killed him to see Lance in this much pain.

“I know you do, but you can’t shut us out Lance. Not like last time. We all love you and want to help you.”

Lance pulled away and wiped his eyes. “I know. I’m trying.”

“Have you had anymore panic attacks?”

Lance shook his head. “Not for a couple weeks.”

Hunk moved back to the sink and started to load the dishwasher. “And you remembered to refill your meds?”

He sighed. “Yeah I did.”

Hunk hummed but didn’t say anymore. He moved through Lance’s kitchen and organized clean dishes and threw out old food from the fridge. Watching someone else take care of everything made Lance realize how far he had been slipping. “I’m sorry.” He said again.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Hunk moved into the living room and threw open the curtains. Lance squinted at the sudden change in light and his mind travelled back to a memory Lance tried not to visit.

_Keith threw open the curtains and looked around the space. “What do you think?” He asked Lance. “I know you wanted something bigger…” He worried his bottom lip._

_“Hey now,” Lance teased, “You know I don’t care where we go as long as we can be together.”_

_Keith rolled his eyes. “We can keep looking if you don’t like it.” Lance watched his boyfriend for a long moment, a small smile teasing his lips._

_“I don’t think we need to look any further.” He came to the window and wrapped his arms around Keith’s waist. “I can really see us here.”_

_“You can?” Keith turned his head to look back at Lance. A hopefully grin lit up his whole face._

_“Yeah babe, I really can.”_

“Lance?” Hunk was waving his hand in front of his face. “Lost you there for a second.”

Lance shook his head and paced into the living room. “Just a daydream.”

Hunk watched Lance pace for a moment longer. “Why don’t we watch a movie? Shiro and Matt are bringing over some more food. We can have a bros night.”

“Yeah, sure I guess.” Hunk wanted nothing more than to find a reason to bring Lance’s smile back, to have him feel passion for _something_ again. Lance had settled on the couch and stared silently into the dark of the holoscreen.

Hunk pulled out his communicator and shot off a couple messages.

_Are you guys almost here? He’s worse off than we thought_

Shiro responded almost immediately.

_Yeah, give us five minutes_

Hunk sighed and ran a hand over the back of his neck. Lance had started to scroll through movie options, flicking through genres with the flick of a finger. There was still no light in his eyes but Hunk was glad he was at least doing something.

A few minutes later a knock sounded on the door. “I’ll get it!” Hunk declared with false cheer.

“Hey Lance.” Matt said as he walked into the apartment. “We brought your favorite. Double fudge chocolate.” He dropped a bag full of ice cream onto the kitchen counter. “Shiro brought chips and stuff.”

“Thanks Matt.” Lance said softly.

Shiro stood just inside the apartment. He pulled the door closed behind him and warily took in the wall opposite of him. It had grown even more since Shiro had been here last. Pieces of paper and red yarn hung loose and drifted softly from the air coming out of the vent above them. Lance had taken Keith’s disappearance hard, but now that it was so close to the anniversary of Keith just being… gone, it had gotten much worse.

Lance didn’t look great either. Matt had given him a blanket and he curled up within it. His hair was disheveled and dark circles that looked more like bruises graced his under eyes. It was disheartening to see him like this. In the six years Shiro had known Lance he hardly ever missed an opportunity to care for his skin.

There was no life in his eyes. Lance had always been so passionate about life and everything it involved, and that passion only grew when Keith was at his side. But now there was nothing left for Lance to fight for.

Shiro met Hunk’s eyes and frowned. What could they do to bring Lance out of this funk? “So what movie are we watching?” Shiro asked. He sat on the floor in front of Matt. Matt played with a lock of his hair. Shiro sent a quiet smile his way.

Lance shrugged and picked at a stray piece of thread from the red blanket. “Something stupid.” Hunk declared from the kitchen. He was pulling bowls down from a cupboard and ladling soup into the bowls.

“What about a musical?” Matt asked.

Lance barely blinked in acknowledgement. “Well,” Shiro broke the awkward silence, “Sounds good to me.” He gently took the holoscreen control from Lance’s hand and swiped through until he found a musical that looked interesting.

Hunk passed out the bowls of soup and they all settled in. The rain picked up again about halfway through the movie and it seemed to calm Lance down a bit. He had always liked the rain. At Hunk’s urging Lance ate all the soup and chips he was given, and eventually downed some ice cream. At one point he even cracked a smile over a joke in the movie.

Several hours later the ending credits rolled and Shiro and Hunk gathered up the dishes and empty ice cream cartons. Lance pushed the blanket off and gathered up some trash. Matt, Shiro and Hunk all exchanged glances. Hunk spoke up first. “Lance, you know all of us have been worried about you.”

Lances shoulders tensed. “You told me this already.”

Shiro stood up from the floor. “It’s almost as bad as it was right after Keith… went missing.”

Lance spun around to face Shiro, his face turning red. “Don’t say that.”

“Don’t say what, Lance?”

“ _Went missing._ Like you don’t believe that anymore. Like you think he’s gone.”

Matt stood beside Shiro. “But Lance, he is gone.”

Lance’s face morphed in his anger. “But I’m going to find him.”

Hunk turned worried eyes to the two older men in the room. They both looked as worried as he felt. “Lance, it’s been three years.” Hunk walked up his best friend and gripped his arms. “There might not be anything to find.”

Lance’s eyes snapped with hundreds of different emotions. Hunk could catch rage, sadness, fear, but worst of all, betrayal. “You too?” Lance asked. “You think he’s dead too?”

“I’m not saying that…”

Lance ripped out of Hunk’s grip. “That’s exactly what you’re saying! _What everyone has been saying._ But I _know_ Keith. He wouldn’t just leave me like that. He wouldn’t…” Lance’s hands started to shake. “He loves me, he wouldn’t…” Harsh sobs forced their way out of Lance’s body, shaking his already thin frame.

Hunk tried to pull him into a hug but Lance shook him off. “Just go. Please.”

Matt spoke up, “Lance we aren’t going to leave you right now, you need your friends.”

“What I _need_ Matt, is my boyfriend back.” Lance managed to choke out. He spun around and headed for the bathroom slamming and locking the door behind him. He miserably slid down the cool wooden surface and gripped his stomach in his hands.

He heard his friends knocking on the door asking him to come back out into the living room but he didn’t want to hear anymore of their kind, well wishing words.

This wasn’t how his life was supposed to go. Keith wasn’t supposed to just disappear. He wouldn’t, why would he do that? They had everything…

Lance had just enough time to throw himself off the floor and get to the toilet before throwing up the contents of everything he had just eaten.

“Lance please,” Hunk’s voice sounded desperate, “We just want to help.”

Bitter tears slipped from his eyes as he dry heaved. When he was finally able to catch his breath he weakly turned to the door. “Please just go. I just want to sleep.”

Shiro’s metal and thumped against the door. “Please come out here so we know you’re ok.”

Standing up proved to be more difficult than Lance thought it would be. He flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth out with water before steeling himself to open the door. Unlocking and opening the door in the same second Lance pushed his way past his friends and curled up into a tight ball on the bed.

Someone pulled the covers back over the top of him. “You don’t need to come into work tomorrow, Allura and I would understand.”

“No, I’ll come in.” Lance whispered hoarsely into his pillow. He closed his eyes and waited until he heard the three other men shuffle out of the apartment.

Sitting up slowly and running a hand through his hair Lance tried a breathing exercise he learned in therapy years ago. After about ten minutes his lungs finally felt like they weren’t on fire.

Against his better judgment he pushed out of bed and made his way to that godforsaken wall. Instead of seeming like a bigger picture leading to answers the wall mocked Lance. Showing him all his failures and shortcomings. All his friends believed Keith was dead. But there was something in Lance’s heart that told him that couldn’t be true. Why would Keith just leave like that?

Anger bubbled back up in Lance’s stomach as he stared at the wall. “This is all your fault Kogane!” He shouted miserably at all the pictures of smiling Keith. “Why would you leave?” Lance’s hands grabbed a chunk of the wall and pulled, ripping years worth of research away.

The angrier he became the more he ripped from the wall. Pushpins came out of their baring’s and scratched Lance’s skin but he didn’t feel any of it. He didn’t register that he was screaming until his throat rebelled against him and his voice scratched out to nothing.

He collapsed in the pile of papers and pictures and sobbed. He was so sick of crying, so sick of feeling so helpless. He just wanted Keith back.

When his body finally dried up and he no longer had tears to shed Lance climbed back into bed. He pulled Keith’s black hoodie back on and curled up within the fabric. “I miss you…” He whispered into the dark.

Just before exhaustion pulled him into a dreamless sleep his communicator beeped with a single message. Lance wanted to ignore it but it felt like something was telling him to open the message.

With blurry eyes he read the sort message.

_I miss you too, Sharpshooter_

Lance’s eyes opened wide and sat bolt upright in bed. Heart pounding he look for anything else on the message that might tell him where it came from. He looked out the window to the street below but the rain prevented him from seeing too far.

Lance stared at the message for what seemed an eternity. He started to laugh, maybe a little hysterically but he felt something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in years. Happiness. Lance had no idea how the message got to him or what it meant but…

Only one person ever called him Sharpshooter.

 

 ****

“Lance and Hunk, this is my cousin, Keith Kogane.” Shiro introduced him to two boys he had seen in the corridors earlier. “They are good friends of Pidge’s.”

Keith smiled tightly. “Glad to meet you.” He shook hands briefly and retreated back to his cousin’s side.

He realized the group was waiting for him to talk. “So um,” He tugged at the sleeve of his Garrison uniform, “How do you know Pidge?”

The boy he assumed was Lance smiled down at the shorter girl. “We got to know her through some online college courses. She’s been a pain in my ass for years.”

Pidge glared and elbowed him in the ribs. “So that’s the thanks I get for doing practically all your science projects.”

Lance rolled his eyes good-naturedly and directed his attention back towards Keith. “So Shiro tells us you’re a pilot?”

Keith nodded sternly. “It’s not really that big of a deal.”

Shiro chuckled, “You’ve already aced the simulator here and classes haven’t even started yet. I wouldn’t say that’s nothing.”

The violet eyes rolled again. “Shiro.” Keith warned almost jokingly.

Pidge pushed at Keith’s arm. “Yeah man, you already have bragging rights. You’ll be top of the class for sure.”

“Yeah right. I’m only here because Shiro made me apply.”

“Oh please,” Matt rolled his eyes mightily, “Iverson would have walked across hot coals to get you in this school.”

Keith pulled at a lock of black hair nervously when he noticed Lance and Hunk’s expressions. “Guys, seriously.”

Lance couldn’t help the small flare of jealously blazing up in his stomach. He and Hunk had worked their asses off to get into their school. It didn’t seem fair that someone that didn’t even want to go to school here got in so easily. “So what area are you guys thinking of specializing in?” Lance directed the question to the whole group but he really just wanted to hear what Keith had to say.

“Tech probably,” Pidge said with a shrug of her bony shoulders, “Can’t imagine doing anything else.”

“Shiro and I have been studying advanced systems of VR and other simulations since we got here. There’s a company called Altea Incorporated that we’ve been checking out.” Matt offered.

“No way.” Hunk breathed, “As in _the_ Altea Incorporated run by Alfor?”

“Who’s Alfor?” Lance asked.

“Only like one of the biggest tech tycoons this century.” Hunk gushed. “He’s working on something called a holoscreen right now, supposedly one microchip in a holoscreen could store all the information the Internet has to offer and then some.”

Shiro smiled at Hunk’s enthusiasm. “Matt and I got to meet Alfor last month, it was like meeting a God.”

Pidge smiled smugly, “Matt was throwing up from nerves all day.”

Matt glared at his little sister, “Wow thanks, a great first impression of me you are giving to your friends.”

Pidge laughed, “Wouldn’t want any false pretensions now would we?”

The group laughed. “So what about you Lance? Any fields of interest yet?” Shiro asked.

Lance swallowed nervously, “I’m not sure yet, tech has never really been my area of expertise. Flying has always been a passion of mine though.”

“The Garrison does boast to have one of the worlds largest and most advanced pilots programs.” Matt offered.

“Apparently not that great if Keith already beat the system.” Lance said jokingly. Lance couldn’t help but notice that while everyone else laughed Keith glared in his general direction.

Shiro nudged his cousin with his shoulder. “Oh come Keith, lighten up.”

Keith sighed and crossed his arms loosely. He glanced up at Shiro and then back down at his shoes. “I need to go talk to Iverson about something.” Keith brushed past the group and made his way into the throngs of people in the halls until Lance couldn’t decipher him from other students.

Hunk huffed, “Friendly isn’t he?”

“He takes some getting used to.” Matt sighed. “I swear once you get to know him his personality makes a little more sense.

Pidge pushed her glasses up her nose. “He can he a real hard ass though.”

“He’s been through a lot in the past.” Shiro said tightly. His sudden change in mood was enough to end the conversation. “Opening speeches are soon and there are a couple things I need to take care of.” He ruffled Pidge’s hair, “Good luck you guys.”

“I’ll come with.” Matt piped up and soon the two older boys disappeared around a corner.

The three remaining stayed quiet for a moment longer. “Well guys,” Pidge pushed her glasses up her nose, “You ready for this?”

Hunk and Lance glanced around at their surroundings as grins slowly lit up their faces. “Yeah,” Lance said throwing an arm over Hunk’s shoulders, “I think we are.”

****

 

Hunk was already at work the next morning when Lance walked into the office with a cup of coffee in hand. He gauged his friend’s mood carefully. He still looked tired but there was something in the way he was carrying himself that made Hunk smile.

Lance settled in his office next to Hunk’s and pulled up his holoscreen and swiped through messages and typed responses with ease. Hunk set his pen down and walked into Lance’s office. “What’s up buddy?”

Lance glanced up and smiled. “Work.”

Hunk grinned and plopped down in one of the extra chairs. “No seriously. This is quite the mood change.”

“Its nothing, really. I just…” Lance ran a hand over his chin. “Its nothing.”

Hunk quirked a brow and watched his friend for a moment longer. “Sure thing. Well there’s an all company meeting in an hour. Allura says she made a breakthrough with Voltron.”

“Wow really? We haven’t been able to make any progress on that in months.”

“Yeah I know. I imagine this will only bring up a slew of other problems to fix.”

Lance rubbed his chin thoughtfully and turned his attention back to his holoscreen. Hunk left the office as Lance pulled up his files on Voltron. He hadn’t touched them in months.

Most of the technical talk went over Lance’s head but he could understand the basic footholds of the project. Allura wanted Voltron to succeed. It was one of the last projects Alfor started before he died. Allura had become a little unhealthy obsessed with it over the last year.

Keith was the only other person at Altea Inc. that had been as excited about Voltron as Allura.

_“Lance!” Keith came charging into the apartment, a bright spark of excitement flashing in eyes._

_“Keith!” Lance cried back. He barely had time to steady himself as Keith crashed into his arms. “What’s gotten into you?” He brushed a lock of hair behind Keith’s ear._

_“Allura gave us the go-ahead to start work on Voltron!”_

_Lance raised his brows. “Seriously? That’s huge.”_

_Keith pulled himself from Lance’s arms and ran a hand through his hair. “I know! She’s going to hand out files on it tomorrow morning at work. We could make history here Lance.”_

_Lance smiled at his enthusiasm. “I haven’t seen you this excited in a long time.”_

_Keith’s eyes soften and he closed the distance between them and kissed him softly. “We can change the world.”_

Lance’s heart clenched painfully in his chest and he pushed the memory aside. He eyed the orange communicator sitting on the edge of his desk. Relenting he picked it up and opened up the message he got last night. It had to be Keith. It _had_ to be. No one else ever called him Sharpshooter.

It was as much of nickname as it was a staple in their relationship. Lance wanted to write something back but he had no idea where the message was sent from and whether or not his message would be received.

His fingers hovered over the keys for what seemed an age. When he heard other voices in the office he pushed the communicator to the side and pulled up a message on his holoscreen and pretended to look preoccupied.

“Lance, it’s good to have you back in.” Allura paused at the door to his office, a bright smile on her face.

Lance offered a smile in return. “I’m sorry I missed yesterday, I’ll stay late and finish up everything I need to get done.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, there’s no need to stay late.” Allura said a little too much intensity. Lance guessed correctly that she was thinking back to the months in the early days of Keith’s disappearance. Lance would often “work late” and the rest of the team would leave the office only to come back in the morning to Lance sitting bleary eyed in front of his holoscreen. Lance practically worked himself to death in order to think about anything other than Keith.

“Right, right.” Lance cringed in on himself. “So I hear you made a breakthrough with Voltron?”

Allura nodded and picked at a stray string hanging off her jacket. “I do hope so, I think I did it by accident.”

Lance laughed lightly, “Hey you know me, 90% of my work at this company has come from accidents.” Allura chuckled and made her way to her office.

The rest of the team trickled in and soon the offices were bustling with activity. All of them expect for one. No one had bothered to move anything out of Keith’s office, more to protect Lance than anything else. So it sat dark and empty and cold, a reminder of everything they had all lost.

Allura called them all into the conference room about an hour later. She was prickling with energy as they all settled into their chairs. “So I think I finally made some progress on Voltron.” A blue hologram slowly emerged from the tables surface. “The VR system we had been using was too out of date to do any good for the other all system. I made a few tweaks and the Blue finally reactivated. So Lance, since you worked on the programming of Blue I’ll need you to take a look at some of this new data.”

“Were there any negative effects?” Lance asked as countless lines of data streamed into his holoscreen.

Allura sucked in a tight breath. “Red further locked and pulled away from the rest.”

The room remained in a thick cloak of tension for several minutes. Lance felt five pairs of eyes boring into his head. “Guys, I’m fine. You don’t need to keep treating me like a fragile piece of glass. Just because Keith bonded with Red the best doesn’t mean we can’t still move forward with our research.” He said tightly.

“Lance is right,” Matt piped up, “Allura you managed to get through to Blue. We can’t let this set us back.”

The rest of the group nodded slowly. “Allura was there anything else?” Lance asked.

“No, that would seem to be all for now.”

Lance pushed away from the table, eyes already glued to the holoscreen with Blue’s new information. “Well then there’s enough work that needs doing.” He said over his shoulder as he made his way back to his office.

Hunk watched his retreating back. “He’s right.” Hunk patted Allura’s shoulder and kissed her cheek gently. “I’m proud of you. That was a huge breakthrough to make.” Allura smiled and touched his cheek gently.

“I’ll be in my office. I have some calls to make.” She said and she left the conference room, Hunk close behind.

Shiro offered Matt his hand and helped him out of his chair. “Back to work then.” Matt grinned.

The rest of the day passed relatively uneventful. Everyone was buried in all the new information on Voltron. Lance’s eyes strained to read the thousand lines of code Blue kept pouring into his holoscreen. He didn’t realize how much time had passed until Hunk knocked on the doorframe of his office. “Closing time buddy.”

Lance rubbed his eyes. “Damn it’s late.” He grabbed his coat and powered down all this equipment.

“We’re grabbing some take out, wanna join?” Hunk asked.

“Maybe not tonight, I still have some sleep to catch up on.”

Hunk offered a small smile. “Sure dude. See you in the morning.” Soon the office was completely silent. Lance swallowed tightly and looked at the dark office opposite his. Steeling his nerves he pushed open the glass door and flicked the lights on.

Dust had gathered over all the smooth surfaces. Papers Keith had been pouring over still sat next to the holoscreen, almost as if they were waiting for Keith too. Lance picked up a slim picture frame and brushed the dust away. It was a picture of the both of them from the day they finally wised up and told each other how they had been feeling.

Lance couldn’t remember taking the picture now, but he must have been laughing or shaking because it was lopsided and a little blurry. But they both looked so happy. Keith’s hair had been pulled up into a loose ponytail, several strands falling out and framing his face. His arms were thrown around Lance’s shoulders and his smile was deep enough to show his dimple.

Lance had pushed his face into Keith’s and had sloppily kissed Keith’s cheek, his own smile brighter than the sun itself.

Placing the picture down gently on the desk Lance brushed away the light mist of tears that had formed in his eyes. Shrugging into his jacket he turned the lights back off and made his way into the rainy evening.

When he finally got back to his apartment he shook away the wetness from his hair and walked into the bedroom. He took his communicator out of his pocket and opened up the mysterious message again. With his heart in his throat he decided to take one last chance.

 

****

He knew he shouldn’t be risking this. Lance could get hurt. But it just hurt so much to be away from him. Pulling up his hood he shivered in the late evening chill. It was beginning to rain a little harder but he couldn’t force himself to leave.

Lights flicked on in the apartment and it set his already wildly beating heart on edge. He could faintly make out Lance’s figure as he moved through the apartment. Lance shook out his hair and pulled off a jacket and sat on the bed.

He couldn’t quite make out what Lance was doing and his heart clenched painfully. What he wouldn’t give to pull Lance into his arms and hold him tight and never let go.

Sending that message had been a mistake. But he couldn’t take seeing Lance in so much pain. Hunk, Matt and Shiro hadn’t made a difference. Lance had been spiraling and he had to do _something_ to ignite that spark of hope again.

He could only pray that Lance would be safe until he had finally finished his work.

With a dejected sigh he started to turn away when the communicator in his pocked chimed. Fear and nervousness shot through his body and he was so scared he almost didn’t want to pull the communicator from his pocket.

After a minute of silent debate he pulled it from his pocket. With shaking hands he opened the waiting message. Three words. Three simple words that set his whole body on edge.

_Stay sharp Samurai_

His head shot up towards the now dark window of the apartment. He knew. He actually knew. _“That’s my Lance.”_ He thought for one wild moment.

He realized he had lingered for too long. But as he made his way into the dark evening he found himself crying. But it wasn’t grief, it was happiness and relief and for the first time in years Keith found himself smiling.

           


	2. Deleting History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey dudes, another chapter coming your way. Not quite as much angst but some more background into this world I'm building.

The rain had picked up in intensity as Keith trudged his way home. _“Home, if I can even call it that.”_ He thought in irritation. A car drove by sending up spray in Keith’s direction. He dodged it and pulled his coat collar higher up over his neck and ears.

He glanced over his shoulder a few times. He couldn’t shake the feeling that someone, or something, was watching him. Shaking off the general paranoia he felt around his coat pocket for his set of keys.

Where he lived now was well enough out the way that no one would be able to find it, _“Unless someone followed you,”_ that irritating voice in the back of his head said.

Keith knew it was stupid to back to his and Lance’s old apartment but he couldn’t help himself. They had been apart for so long and Keith was _so_ close to finishing his work… a stolen glance now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Glancing over his shoulder one more time Keith unlocked a wore looking gate and ducked behind the cover of an old warehouse building. Moving along the side of the graffiti tagged building he pushed aside blankets that lead into the warehouse.

It was freezing in here, but it always was. Didn’t matter if it was the dead of summer. Keith growled and moved aside a box that hid the doorway to his actual home. Unlocking the metal door he pulled the box back into place and relocked the door behind him.

Descending a set a hard concrete stairs he finally opened the last door that lead into the basement turned home. Keith took off his jacket and shook out his hair and grabbed for a spare ponytail around his wrist. He was holding the ponytail between his teeth when a voice sounded from the kitchen.

“Pulling some more night stalking?”

Keith rolled his eyes and pulled his hair into a sloppy bun at the nape of his neck. He made his way to the kitchen to find the voice. “I don’t have time for this right now Shay.”

Keith had lived with Shay for about six months now. When Thace and Ulaz finally thought it was safe enough for him to be back in the same city as Lance. Shay thought they were both stupid for risking bringing Keith back in this close to the city but Keith had been insisting for months that he could handle it.

Keith and Shay didn’t particularly like each other but if they wanted to end the Galra they didn’t have any other choice than to work together. Keith never bothered to find out how Thace found Shay but he guessed correctly it was probably better not to ask questions. All Keith knew is that Galra Tech took Shay’s family from her and she wouldn’t stop until the company was gone. Keith had just as much reason to want Galra Tech gone but he thanked his lucky stars no one he loved had been hurt. Yet.

When Shay had first shown him the basement they would call home there had only been a couple boxes stacked in the rusting and moldy kitchen.

_“I know it doesn’t look like much now but we can make it at least livable.” Shay had grumbled. She kicked a wadded up newspaper across the room and grimaced when a cockroach fled in the opposite direction desperately looking for more shelter._

_Keith shrugged. “I don’t plan on getting comfortable here.”_

_Shay quirked a brow, “Unless you have a better option I didn’t know about…”_

_“No I don’t,” Keith interrupted, “Galra Tech will be finished soon enough. Then I can_ actually _go home.” He fought off wave after wave of painful memories and glared at the floor._

_“Thace told me you would be like this. So brooding and angry all the time.”_

_“I do not brood.”_

_“Says the guy wearing all black and has yet to uncross his arms.”_

_That got Keith to laugh, almost._

The two had spent about a month attempting to make the empty basement resemble a home but try as they might it remained a musty and dirty basement, and for Keith, a prison.

Shay glared at him from across the counter. “It’s not safe and you know it!” Her deep chocolate brown eyes snapped with anger.

Taking off his gloves and setting them on the ancient table Keith fought for something to say in his defense. He ran his hand over the worn wood of the table. “What good does all this spying even do?” Shay continued to pester him, “Just checking to make sure your golden boy isn’t cheating?”

Keith spun around to face her, “No! I just, I can’t explain why…”

“You are risking _everything_ Thace, Ulaz and I have helped you build _just_ to sit and stare through your boyfriends window at night.”

Keith felt anger flare and he stalked out the kitchen. “Since when have you been my bodyguard?” He bit over his shoulder.

“I’m not your bodyguard idiot, I’m just trying to help and you can’t help but to act on your impulses! It’s fucking stupid and you could get us all killed!”

Shay had followed him into the living room. _“God help me.”_ Keith thought sourly. “No one knew I was there!” As Keith sat on the couch his communicator fell from his pocket and dinged to the floor. His face went white.

“And now you are using communicators?” Shay practically shrieked, “You dumbass! They could track you so easily!”

Keith picked the communicator off the floor just to have Shay rip it from his hands. They regarded each other for a tight second. “Give it back.” Keith barely breathed.

Shay ignored him and opened up the device. The message he sent to Lance and the one he received back glowed off Shay’s dark skin in the dim light of the basement. “You talked to him?”

He could sense her anger. “It was a one time thing, I swear.”

Shay’s disappointment in him rolled off her in waves. He lowered his head to stare at his shoes. “Keith how could you be so stupid?” She gripped the communicator tighter in her hands. “I have to tell Thace and Ulaz, you know that right?”

His head shot up and he glared at her. “No, no you can’t. They’ll send me away again.”

“Maybe it’s what you need! You’ve been at his place 5 times in the past month Keith! You can’t keep risking the basis of the whole operation to keep your boyfriend in check.”

Keith glared. “I’m not risking the operation.”

“You are and you know it, you need to be sent away again.” Shay started to move back to the kitchen, no doubt to contact Thace and Ulaz.

Keith leapt off the couch. “Shay, no… Please don’t. You have no idea what’s its like to be away from him. To be so _fucking close_ but even further away.”

Shay stopped but didn’t face him. “Do you know why I keep going back to check on him?” Keith felt his voice crack, “Because he is shutting off from the world, getting consumed by trying to find me. An entire wall of our apartment is just covered in little clues and pictures and all this red fucking string. He’s been trying for three years to figure out what happened to me and it’s driving him crazy.”

Shay finally turned to face him. “Tonight our friends came over and he looked like a robot. I’ve never seen him so emotionless; he doesn’t care about _anything_ anymore. And I did this to him. So yeah I sent him a fucking message. Of course I did, because he’s slipping and I can’t live with the fact that I could have ended this ages ago and went back to him. What if he tried to hurt himself again? I had to give him that spark of hope, of life. I miss him ok? I love him so damn much and I miss him…” Keith’s voice tapered away and he didn’t realize he was crying until he felt the tears drip off his chin and nose.

Shay’s eyes had widened as he took in Keith inhaling shaking breathes and wiping furiously at his eyes.

Keith glared at her through the tears. “Well if you are going to call Thace and Ulaz might as well get it over with.” He brushed past her and slammed the door to his sham of a room.

Emotions swirled around Keith’s head and he backed up against a wall and slid down to the floor. He heard his door creak open and he weakly lifted his head to see Shay offering him the communicator. “I’m sorry.” She said quietly, “I forget how hard this is for you.”

Keith tried to say something to reassure her but his lip just quivered. Shay sat on the floor next to him and patted his knee; it was about as comforting those two ever got to each other. “This will all be over soon. You’ll be able to go back to him.”

“What if he doesn’t want me anymore?” Keith surprised himself by asking.

“How do you mean?”

Keith sighed heavily and wiped his nose, “All our friends think I’m dead. He doesn’t but I mean what if after we finally put an end to Galra Tech and I try to waltz right back into his life? He’s been through so much pain, and all because I disappeared.”

“You didn’t disappear on purpose though. You couldn’t help that.”

“But there is no way we can go back to normal after this.”

“Normal?” Shay scoffed, “From what I’ve heard about you and Lance’s relationship is that it’s the furthest from normal you could get.”

Keith smirked through the tears. “How do you pick up after three years?”

“You could always start with ‘hi’. That seems to work for most people.” Shay pushed off the floor. “I made some food. Pull yourself together and come eat.”

She paused in the doorway and tossed the communicator onto Keith’s cot. “If the Galra track you through that thing its your ass on the line dipshit.”

The door creaked closed and Keith sat on his cot and gripped the communicator in his hands. Placing it gently next to his pillow he placed a kiss to fingers and pressed them against the one picture of Lance he had. It was such a stupid picture of him but now it was all Keith got.

Lance’s eyes shown out from the picture and Keith’s hand trembled and fell to his side. God he missed that smile, that obnoxious laugh and shit eating grin. Keith took a shuddering breath and leaned his forehead against the picture. “I’m coming back for you Sharpshooter, you can count on that.

 

***

 

“We are proud of you Cadet, and we expect you to be a role model for all the other students here.” Iverson drawled dramatically.

Keith fought the urge to roll his eyes. When Iverson said he wanted to meet with him he didn’t expect to be shown off like some show dog to the entire trust committee for the Garrison. Keith had attempted to act as graciously as possible, but it was hard to keep up such a front. He didn’t even want to go to the Garrison; Shiro had finally urged him into it after years of pestering.

Keith realized all the committee members were waiting for him to speak. “I’ll do my best to make the Garrison proud Commander Iverson.”

The committee members looked satisfied with that answer. But honestly at this point Keith could break a window and they would still praise him for it. Granted, he was a talented pilot and he had broken past the most difficult levels on the simulation, but he was no star. But that is what Iverson was making him out to be.

Iverson motioned for Keith to follow him and one by one they made their way around the room and wished the committee members well before they finally left the room. As soon as the door hissed closed behind them Keith’s artificial smile dropped and he crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive stance. Shiro told him he really needed to open to people more and the perfect place to do this would be to stop crossing his arms whenever he felt threatened.

“So Kogane, ready to show off those skills in the simulator tomorrow morning?” Iverson asked, oblivious to the dramatic change in Keith’s mood.

Keith shrugged, “I just don’t want the other students to think I’m showing off.

Iverson scoffed and turned to face Keith, “You won’t be showing off my boy, merely showing them how it’s done.”

“Whatever you say sir.”

“Well opening ceremonies are in twenty minutes, come find me in the morning before classes start, I want to introduce you to all the professors you will have.” Iverson winked and walked away, leaving Keith feeling irritated and a little anxious. He wished Iverson had never latched onto him. All he was good at was blending in behind the scenes, but it seemed the next four years he would be thrust, unwillingly, into the spotlight.

Keith sighed and made his way through the throngs of students in the halls in an attempt to find Shiro. He only knew Shiro, Matt and Pidge and didn’t plan on making any more friends while he was here.

Keith had fought to try and have a single room but Iverson had flat out refused. He insisted Keith’s genius could rub off on some other poor sap. His roommates name was Rolo, some lanky guy with a knack for flying; he claimed he was better at tinkering with old equipment though.

As he pushed through the halls Keith caught a glance of Rolo and sent a stoic nod in his direction. Rolo tipped two fingers to his forehead in a mock salute. Looks like Keith would be spending as little time in his room as possible the next four years.

After a couple more minutes of searching Keith finally caught sight of his cousin. He was still with the two new boys from earlier. Cringing internally Keith made his way over to the group and steeled his mind for more mindless chatter.

“No, no, Hunk you have to tell them about the time Lance fell asleep during AP science.” Pidge was exclaiming excitedly.

The boy, Lance, rolled his eyes dramatically. “Pidge come on, out of all the stories you want us to tell…”

Hunk, or the boy Keith thought was Hunk, slapped Lance on the back. “I mean you did manage to spill acid _all_ over the table, and yourself.”

Lance flushed a bright red. “Its not my fault I only got an hour of sleep before that lab!” He crossed his arms over his chest and suddenly met Keith’s eyes. “Oh hey, you’re back.”

“It would seem so.” Keith said sternly. He turned to face Shiro, “Opening speeches start soon. We should go find somewhere to sit down.”

Shiro put on a hand on his shoulder, “Geez, we know kid. That eager to get the school year started?”

Keith rolled his eyes, “More eager to get it other with.” He mumbled under his breath.

Keith started when he noticed Lance chuckling at his remark. He hasn’t realized Lance had been close enough to hear him. The two boys met eyes and Lance shrugged, offering a hesitant smirk. Keith’s eyes widened and he turned his back to the group and started to make his way to the auditorium. He heard Shiro tell the rest of the group to follow Keith, a chuckle low in his voice.

The auditorium was already rapidly filling with students while the professors took their seats on the stage.

There were only 20 professors at the Garrison, and each professor took on an impressive class load to be able to handle all 200 students.

It was the job of the professors and the higher ups in command to decide where the new incoming students should be placed class wise. Once a student was accepted into the Garrison a team would pour over the student’s grades, in and out of school activities and general personality traits and skills.

Pidge had been telling Keith about her classes for weeks now. Pidge was already smart enough to advance to upper level rather than entry courses. She would be focusing mainly on tech and how to make better and smoother advancements not only to Garrison tech but also to tech from all over the world. She apparently had already solved the problem of an AI gone rouge in Japan.

Keith would start at some upper level piloting courses and go from there. He wasn’t proficient enough in his other class grades to take any other upper level courses. But Keith was mostly here only for the simulators. Humanity wanted to send humans even further into space. Just last year the colony on Mars had announced success in growing their own food and finding better ways of storing water.

But humanities greed drove them forward to try and make even more progress. They wanted to send someone all the way to Pluto. Keith couldn’t imagine that they would send him though. Shiro was a much better candidate for the job. He would graduate in the spring, along with Matt.

Both of the older boys had only been at the Garrison for three years but they were more than ready to take on the world. Much like his little sister Matt was extremely gifted in tech. He had created all the holoscreens the Garrison now exclusively used. Matt had already started to sell the holoscreens to other tech companies, including Altea Incorporated. Matt hoped that would be enough to get hired by Altea Inc.

Some guy named Alfor (apparently he had had some falling out with his old partner, a guy named Zarkon) currently ran the company. There were rumors however, that Alfor’s daughter would take over the company. But no one knew who she was, or if she even existed.

Keith was startled out of his reprieve when Shiro nudged his shoulder. “You ok Keith? You seem a little jumpy.”

Shiro settled into the seat next to his cousin and sent him a concerned look. His cousin huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m fine. Iverson was just parading me around like a monkey on string earlier,” He glanced up at Shiro through his bangs, “I’m a little tense.”

“So I noticed.” The two remained quiet for a bit as they glanced around at the parade of other students in the auditorium. Shiro glanced down the row they were all sitting in. Pidge was sitting between her two friends Lance and Hunk. All three of them were laughing at something Matt had just said. “What do you think of Pidge’s friends?” Shiro asked.

Keith leaned forward in his seat a bit to cast his eyes down the row. He sighed and slumped down further in his seat. “They seem fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Shiro, you know I’m not here to make friends.”

Shiro sighed heavily. “That’s one way to look at the situation. Keith glared up at his cousin.

“You were the one that forced me into coming to this school.”

“I didn’t force you to do anything, you know this is what your parents wanted for you.” Shiro watched as Keith’s expression fell and he looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry,” Shiro said quickly, “I know it’s not my place…”

“No, you’re right.” Keith said quietly, “Can we drop this for now?”

“Of course.”

Keith crossed his arms more firmly across his chest and ignored the laughing from coming further down the row of seats.

“So what do you guys think of Keith?” Pidge asked Lance and Hunk quietly. The two boys leaned slightly forward in their seats to see Keith slumped in his seat, a scowl planted firmly on his face.

“He seems a little… intense.” Hunk answered.

Lance glanced one more time at the boy in the seat closest to the wall. “Is he really as talented of a pilot as people are saying he is?” Butterflies crept their way into his stomach and he swallowed nervously. He did want to be a pilot but if there was already a golden boy at the Garrison how was he even supposed to compete?

Matt heard Lance’s question and nodded. “He beat one of the hardest levels on the simulator yesterday. That level even took Shiro a couple tries to get past successfully.”

“Wow.” Hunk and Lance said at the same time.

Pidge pushed her glasses up her nose, “He may seem like a hard ass now but once you get to know him he’s actually pretty nice.”

“Matt, how long have you guys know Shiro and Keith?” Hunk asked.

Matt titled his head, thinking for a moment. “Probably about six years? Pidge you were only nine when we met them for the first time, right?”

“Yeah, I think we met them at a coffee place or something. My dad and Shiro’s dad were business partners for a while. Keith and Shiro would come over the house a lot when our dads would have meetings.”

“Oh cool.” Hunk said, settling into his seat. Lance looked at Shiro quickly, once again wondering when and how Shiro got the scar and metal arm. But that was a question for another day.

The lights in the auditorium finally started to dim and the dull roar of conversation tapered off into silence. Iverson made his way to the podium in the center of the stage and applause erupted through the space.

Iverson adjusted his hat and smiled out at the crowd. “For all our returning students, it is good to see your faces again, and to all our new students, I’d like to take this time to welcome you to the Galaxy Garrison.” He waited until the applause and excited tittering died down. “The Galaxy Garrison has selected each and every one of you for a reason. You have all displayed characteristics in your studies and everyday lives that the Garrison strives for. I have no doubt that every single one of you seated in this room today will go on to change the world, whether it be in the medical field, the technological field, or even piloting. We hop the Garrison can provide the means for you all to follow your dreams and reach for the stars.” He paused dramatically. “Welcome to the Garrison.”

Lance couldn’t help but join in on the infectious cheering erupting throughout the room. He met Hunk’s eyes and they grinned stupidly. Somehow, even though they were sitting in the room in Garrison uniforms, it still didn’t feel quite real. After four of years of constant struggle they had _finally_ made it.

Lance glanced down the row and met Shiro’s eyes. He smiled at Lance and turned to whisper something in Matt’s ear. When Shiro leaned aside Lance stole another look at Keith. He had sat up a little in his seat but he still seemed irritated. As Lance took him in he finally placed the emotion shining out from Keith’s eyes. He was scared.

In that moment Lance felt a bound with the boy he had just met. Though he had spent years working for this place he was still terrified of it. It would be so easy to screw up; in one swift movement he could ruin everything. His heart plunged down to his stomach and he fought off a wave of terror. What if he wasn’t good enough for any of the programs the Garrison had to offer?

Keith must have sensed someone looking at him because he glanced up and met Lance’s eyes.

Lance offered a hesitant smile. Keith hadn’t responded well when Lance had laughed at his remark earlier and now Lance was scared of pushing boundaries.

Similar thoughts were running through Keith’s mind. He had been pretty rude to Lance earlier. So he offered a small nod and turned his attention back to the stage. _“I’m not here to make friends.”_ He reminded himself sternly. But a small portion of his brain was telling him that maybe; just maybe… he could allow himself to make one friend.

 

***

 

Lance showed up to work several days later. He felt soundly irritated. Two days had passed since he sent that message and still no reply.

The more time that passed he realized how foolish he had been. It was probably just a prank someone played on him. Or maybe it was one of his friends trying to make him feel better.

Whatever the case he felt stupid for answering. It was stupid to think that Keith would just send him a message out the blue. And why now? Why after three years?

Lance shook his head as he pushed into the office. The only other person in the office already was Hunk. He glanced up when he saw Lance walk in and nodded in his general direction. He was talking animatedly on his communicator and jotting down notes. Several other investors had caught wind of Voltron and had decided to pitch in to help. It pleased Allura to no end. Alfor had wanted nothing more than Voltron to be a success and now the company was well on their way to making that dream a reality.

Lance pushed open the glass door to his office and set down his large cup of coffee on his desk. Clicking his holoscreen to attention he pulled up all the emails he had received overnight and sorted through all the ones that didn’t seem important.

He had several from Allura that he opened and studied carefully. Ever since she had bonded with Blue there was a flood of new information to deal with. Though Lance had bonded with Blue first she had seemed to take a liking to Allura as well. Lance chalked it up to him shutting Blue out after Keith had first gone missing.

Hunk and Pidge had pretty decent holds over Yellow and Green and there wasn’t much work to be done on that end of the spectrum. Black was remaining stubbornly closed off no matter how hard Shiro tried to open up with him.

Matt had had to drag Shiro from the office last night because he had been pushing himself too hard.

“Lance!” Hunk called from his office.

“Hunk!” Lance answered back and smiled up at his friend.

“Allura will be in soon, she said she might have made a breakthrough with Blue last night!”

Lance felt his smile falter. “Another one? Wow. She’s moving a lot faster than I have.”

Hunk noticed the expression on his friend’s face. “Hey man, it’s ok to take a break with some of this stuff, we all know how challenging it can be to keep that bond established.”

Lance sighed and took a swig from his coffee. “Yeah, yeah I know. I just feel like I’ve been letting Blue down recently. Its not wonder she bonded with someone else.”

Hunk got up from his chair and moved into Lance’s office. “Don’t let this get you down man. Voltron is still in its earliest stages. Everything is pretty unpredictable right now.”

Lance nodded and stared at his holoscreen for a moment. “How are you and Allura by the way?” He glanced up and Hunk and laughed at the blush creeping across Hunk’s cheeks.

“Everything is good. She’s good… she’s great actually.” Hunk blushed further and smacked Lance on the shoulder and went back to his own office.

Hunk had been hopelessly pining after Allura for months after they had all started at Altea Inc. She had been pretty much oblivious up until Hunk had finally worked up the courage to ask her out. They had been continuing on in practically wedded bliss for a few months now.

Lance was happy for his friend of course, but it hurt to watch them interact. Hunk and Allura were a lot like Lance and Keith were at the beginning of their relationship, lots of loving looks and finding ways to always be around each other.

Shaking himself from the dark mood he felt coming on Lance opened another email from Allura.

            _Lance, last night I think I got Blue to open up to me a little more. I’ve sent you the new data stream. Some of it doesn’t make any sense to me so I was hoping you could help me decipher the new information._

_-Thanks, Allura_

Lance opened up the attachment of data and fought down a groan when hundreds more lines of code flooded his screen. He still wasn’t the best at these types of things. He had studied a little into coding when he was at the Garrison but this was all highly advanced.

He decided to ask Pidge for some help when she got into work. Lance buried himself in deciphering the new code and he didn’t noticed when Shiro knocked on his office door.

Blinking a few times he rolled his shoulders and motioned Shiro to come in. “Morning.” He said.

Shiro sat in the car across from Lance’s desk. “Let me guess, more code from Blue?”

Lance nodded wearily. “Allura might be close to finally cracking her open, but damn it’s a lot of code to sort through. I’m probably going to have to ask Pidge for some help.”

Shiro nodded and tugged at his pant leg. “So how are you feeling?” Lance tensed a bit and regarded Shiro closely. Since the night he and Matt and Hunk had some over to his place Shiro had tread around him a little carefully. Lance immediately felt horrible when Shiro glanced up and caught his eye.

“Better.” Lance sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You guys just caught me on a bad night is all.”

“You know I want to help you Lance, we all do. You just have to remember to let us all in.”

“I know, I know. Keith meant something to everyone here, I just get wrapped up in my own head.” Lance felt a pang of guilt. Keith was Shiro’s cousin above all else, Lance would only remember he lost a boyfriend, but Shiro had lost of the few remaining family members he had left.

Shiro grinned a little sadly, “We just want you to feel better, whatever it takes.”

Lance tried to muster a grin but he didn’t feel quite up to it. “I’m going to get back to work.” He blinked rapidly to clear the mist from his eyes.

“Have fun with all the code.” Shiro called over his shoulder and made his way to his office.

Lance glanced briefly at the picture of Keith next to holoscreen, swallowed thickly and got back to work.

***

Keith woke to sounds from the kitchen. Groaning he sat up and rubbed at his eyes. He had one wicked nightmare last night and it was hard to get any sleep after that.

It was a nightmare he had often, and he really only had after he thought about Lance too much. _“And I’ve been doing plenty of thinking lately.”_ He thought as he stretched his arms over his head.

In his dream Lance would always be standing at the edge of a cliff, a gentle breeze blowing through his short brown hair. Keith would start to approach him but the closer he got the more worried he felt. No matter what he did he couldn’t shake that nervous pit from his stomach. The sky would go from heartbreakingly blue to gray and troubled. Lance would turn to him and the calm expression would slowly disappear from his face.

Then Zarkon would show up and the sky would turn completely black. Keith could always remember running to Lance but as soon as he got to close Zarkon would pull out a knife and hold it against Lance’s throat. He would beg Zarkon to stop, to let Lance go so they could leave peacefully, but Zarkon would never listen.

Keith would wake in a cold sweat right before Zarkon pushed Lance off the cliff that had once looked so peaceful.

Keith shuddered at the memory and shook out his hair. Pulling a black t-shirt over his head and made his way through the dingy basement.

“And the conquering hero finally wakes.” Shay said sarcastically.

“What time is it?” Keith ignored the remark and opened the fridge, cringing at the noise it made. The fridge looked hopelessly barren. Irritated he slammed the door closed and turned to face Shay.

“Almost noon.” She deadpanned.

“Shit.” I’m supposed to meet Thace soon.”

“Better get at it then lover boy.” Shay disappeared into her room and Keith gathered all his things and set out into the day. It wasn’t raining anymore but it was still gray and cold.

He ducked through the backstreets of the town and found the car he and Shay used whenever they had travel anywhere they couldn’t get on their feet.

Starting the old junker Keith drove through the countryside surrounding the city. After a couple of miles he rolled the windows down and let the breeze ruffle and tear at his hair. The brisk breeze sent up goose bumps on his arms but he ignored it.

Taking a deep breathe of morning air he tried to push his nightmare from his mind. It was hard to shake the feeling that he screwed something up. He _really_ shouldn’t have gone to his old apartment last night, but now that he was back in the same city as Lance it was hard to stay away.

Besides, they were _so_ close to finally cracking apart Galra Tech that a few stolen glances couldn’t hurt. Right?

Keith shook off the feeling in the pit of his stomach and finally reached his destination. He parked the car outside the unassuming warehouse and made his way to the back entrance.

He creaked the door open and looked around for Thace.

“Keith, about time you arrived.” A voice across the room said.

Keith ducked through the door and made his way across the room. “Sorry I’m late. Overslept.”

Thace looked up from the papers spread across the table in front of him. “You don’t get the luxury of oversleeping Keith.”

Keith felt himself shrinking under Thace’s stern gaze. “I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Keith finally worked up the courage to meet Thace’s gray eyes.

Thace was fairly unassuming looking but after the years Keith had known him he knew that Thace’s appearance was nothing more than a façade. His black hair was beginning to turn gray but his 6’ 4” stature kept him looking young and fit.

Thace and Ulaz had previously worked for Galra Tech but saw that the company was heading down a road they couldn’t recover from. They had left but had risked everything in doing so.

Keith owed Thace and Ulaz his life. It was only natural that he helped them finally end Galra Tech once and for all.

“How is Shay?” Thace asked.

A little curious to the sudden shift in mood Keith pulled nervously at his gloves. “She’s doing fine.”

“That’s good to hear.” Thace didn’t say anymore so Keith remained silent as well. He had learned that it was better to stay quiet and let Thace say his piece. “Altea Incorporated has made new advancements on Voltron.”

Keith’s eyes snapped open wide and he took a few staggering steps backwards. “They have? It’s been years…”

Thace watched Keith carefully. “It would seem Alfor’s daughter is quite intent on getting Voltron operational. She made a breakthrough with the Blue lion.”

Keith let the information sink in for a long moment. “She bonded with Blue. Wow. Blue had always been Lance’s lion.”

“Indeed, it would seem the company is working around the clock to deal with all the new coding Allura has been able to unearth.”

“Galra Tech has noticed, haven’t they?” Keith asked quietly.

Thace nodded grimly. “They have. Ulaz hasn’t been able to figure out what their next move is though. That worries me. I’m also surprised they haven’t made a move toward Altea Inc. already.”

“What do you want me to do?” Keith asked. He knew Ulaz was already watching Galra Tech so most likely he would be put on surveillance there as well.

“I need you to keep an eye on Altea Inc. Make sure they aren’t doing anything hasty, or going public with the news about the progress they’ve made with Voltron.”

Keith swallowed. “You want me to manage the surveillance of Altea Inc.?”

Thace met Keith’s eyes. “Is that going to be a problem?” The tone of his voice made it clear Keith had no chance to argue.

Keith shook his head. “Good. Then head there now. I expect hourly updates on whatever activity you can pick up.” Thace went back to the mound of papers on the table in front of him.

Keith stood defeated for a moment longer before leaving the warehouse. He sat in the old car for a long moment taking deep and steadying breathes. He was surprised Thace didn’t put Shay on this detail, especially considering Thace knew about Keith’s involvement with Lance.

Now Keith was going to have to monitor Lance’s every move every day for god knew how long. He swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel tightly in his hands.

It was about to get so much harder to stay away from Lance.

 

***

 

Lance groaned at the sound of the trilling alarm clock. “Hunk…” He croaked. “Turn the damn alarm off will you?”

He heard Hunk roll over and slam his hand down on the alarm clock putting a quick end to the annoying sound of the alarm. They had been at the Garrison for three months now and it had been quite a different experience than what they thought it would be originally.

Hunk had already started to show proficiency in a couple different medical fields and picked a little tech knowledge from Pidge.

But Lance… he hadn’t really picked up on anything yet. It was making him extremely nervous. He had been working in some simple coding classes but he wasn’t the best at it. All the piloting classes he was in were also a lot more difficult than he thought they would be.

So far only 10 other students were in the piloting program, including Shiro and Keith. But the two cousins clearly outshone the rest of the students in the program. Lance had somewhat befriended another student named Rolo, who also happened to be Keith’s roommate. Rolo was at about the same level as Lance, so at least he had someone to struggle with.

Rolo was extremely tall and lanky, and had a pretty calm and laid back manner. His green eyes took in whatever was going on in the room though, and he always had a lot to say about Keith.

“The dude is practically a mute.” He complained to Lance one morning. “I think he’s said maybe three whole sentences the entire time we’ve lived together.”

“Really? Sounds tough man.” Lance didn’t really know how to relate to awkward roommate situations, and at this point he was extremely grateful that he and Hunk had decided to room together. It took out a large chuck of stress from Lance’s day to day life.

Lance finally rolled into a sitting position and rubbed at his eyes. “What classes do you have today?” He asked Hunk, who was already up and moving around the room.

Hunk hummed for a second. “A couple tech classes, most of them with Pidge and Matt. Then I have my first medical simulation today. I’m pretty fucking nervous.”

Lance stood and slapped his friend on the back. “You’ve been studying like a maniac all this week, you got this man.”

Hunk smiled gratefully. “Thanks man, I appreciate it.”

The two boys moved around their room in comfortable silence then, both anticipating the day ahead. Lance was finally getting his turn as the pilot in the simulation and he was so nervous he was sure he would throw up all over the instructor’s shoes.

After wishing Hunk luck one more time he left the room and made his way through the white halls of the dormitory level of the school. Lance hadn’t really had time to get to know too many other people outside of his general classes, but after talking with Matt he discovered that was pretty normal.

The higher up in classes you got the less people you actually socialized with. Matt said there were people he started at the Garrison with that he still didn’t even know. Lance made his way to the simulation floor and fought back the wave of nervousness he was feeling.

“Hey Lance!” Rolo came up behind him. “Ready to fly today my man?” He noticed Lance’s pale face and grimaced. “That nervous dude?”

“Shut up man, this is my first time flying. I could screw up in about a thousand different ways.”

“Just don’t think about it too much, let things happen the way the universe wants them too.” Rolo shrugged and pushed his way into the classroom.

Lance bit down the flare of irritation he felt. Sometimes Rolo’s laid-back nature was annoying. Just as Lance was about to walk through the door he collided with Keith.

“Geez, watch where you’re going!” Keith bit before he realized who it was. “Oh fuck, sorry Lance.”

“Hey man, its fine. Happens all the time.”

Keith quirked a brow. “You’re flying today right?”

“Yeah I am. Nervous as hell too.”

“You shouldn’t be, this level is a piece of cake.”

Keith walked into the classroom. “Yeah easy for someone that’s already beaten the hardest level of the simulations.” Lance mumbled under his breath. Lance wanted to like Keith, he really did, but there was something about the other boy that just turned Lance off. Maybe it was the snarky remarks he made all the time, or the way he worked his way through all the pilots classes and didn’t make a big deal out of being one of the best damn pilots in the world.

Lance finally worked up the courage to walk into the classroom and stood at attention when the instructor moved through the space. “Alright cadets, McClain, Chester, and Lee. You’re all up in the simulator. Get in there and show us what you’ve learned.”

Lance desperately tried to calm down his shaking hands. He let the other two students walk into the simulator before him and nervously made his way to the pilots seat. Strapping himself in he started to call off all the preflight checks he had been memorizing for the past few months.

“Lee, stabilizers ready?”

“All set captain.”

“Chester, read me the rocket fuels levels.”

“Rockets at 100% ready captain.”

After a few more flicks of buttons and status checks Lance put his hand on the steering mechanism and took a deep breathe. “All right gentlemen lets get this bird in the air.” Lance pushed a few buttons in rapid succession and pushed a few levers forward. The screen in front of him displayed a false runway and soon they made their way off it in ease.

“Excellent work McClain. Keep her steady now.” The instructors voice crackled through the coms in the simulator.

Lance set his chin in determination and pointed the nose of the craft higher in the air. Taking off was child’s play. Getting the craft through the Earth’s atmosphere was another story.

“Chester get those booster levels up, at this rate we won’t have enough speed to get through the atmosphere.” Lance said sternly.

“Got it.” Chester answered, pushing his seat down the isle to get to the proper buttons.

“Good call McClain, keep it up.” The instructors voice cut through Lance’s concentration.

“Lee, read me those shield levels.”

“Shields at 95%, we can through into space at those levels.”

“Do what you can to bring those levels up to 100%.” Lance said. The craft continued to pick up speed and started to shake. Lance gripped the steering device even tighter in his hands and glared at the picture on the screen in front of him. “We’re loosing speed, Chester what happened to those booster levels?”

“They’re decreasing fast captain, there must be an engine malfunction.”

Lance’s thoughts raced a thousand miles a minute as he desperately tried to think his way out of this situation. “Shield levels are decreasing captain!” Lee cried from her position to Lance’s right.

“ _Shit.”_ Lance hissed through his teeth. He pushed a few buttons and flicked a few switches but soon an alarm started to blare, cutting even deeper into Lance’s concentration.

“Come on McClain! Think your way out of this!” The instructor shouted through the coms.

“Chester activate the emergency boosters!” Lance threw over his shoulder. But when he glanced back the screen he knew it was too late. The craft had reached Earth’s atmosphere but they weren’t even close to the speeds they needed to be at. The craft started to rip itself to pieces, even more alarms blared.

Lance attempted to turn the craft around in a last ditch effort to save it but it was too late. The screen zipped to black and the alarms ceased to blare. Lance’s hands fell away from the steering mechanism. Sweat beaded at his brow and he punched at the arm of his arm. “Fuck.” He whispered to himself.

The door of the simulator opened slowly and the light from the room beyond temporarily blinded the three strapped into their chairs. “Out here cadets. Now.”

The two other cadets sighed heavily and Lance gulped down the wave of self-loathing that rose up his throat. Wearily he unhooked all the straps that kept him secured to the seat and joined Chester and Lee who were already standing at attention outside the simulator.

“What went wrong during the simulation?” The instructor asked the other cadets standing around the room.

“Well they crashed, for one.” Rolo offered casually from the other side of the room. Lance bit his lip and fought the urge to glare at him.

The instructor continued to drone on about the group’s failure to get the craft into orbit around the Earth. Lance didn’t heart any of it. Just one thought continued to pound through his head. “ _You failed. Of course you failed, you aren’t good at anything.”_ A dark voice in the back of Lance’s head kept insisting.

“Kogane, pick two partners and show these three how it’s done.” Lance’s attention snapped back to the present when he heard Keith’s last name.

Keith met the instructor’s eyes with a deadpanned stare and motioned for Rolo and one other cadet Lance didn’t know yet to follow him into the simulator. Keith finished the preflight checks in nearly half the time it took Lance. He got the craft up into the sky faster than Lance too.

Lance watched the screen above the simulator door as Keith piloted the craft through the Earth’s atmosphere with ease. A tinge of jealously wormed up in the back of Lance’s mind. Keith made this look like child’s play. Lance had been studying and working his ass off to try and pass the simulation today and it had quite literally crumbled before his eyes.

But Keith… he was a natural at this. Once Keith had safely landed the craft in the simulation he and the other three cadets left the simulator. Rolo sent a smug look in Lance’s direction.

Keith kept his eyes trained the floor and tried to cancel out the praise the instructor was currently raining down on his head. He made the mistake of meeting Lance’s eyes. He looked defensive and a little hurt. Lance usually always smiled at him, but today he glared. Keith quickly turned his eyes back to the floor.

He had a feeling whatever friendly tendencies Lance felt toward him were about to evaporate into the wind.

 

***

 

_“Keith, come on really? This song?” Lance complained from the kitchen. Keith was siting on a stool at the counter, a devilish grin creeping up his face._

_“It’s a classic Lance. A classic!” He jumped off the stool to turn up the volume._

_“Its ancient it what it is.” Lance hid his grin by turning his attention back to the celery he was cutting._

_Keith ignored him and turned up the volume just a notch more. He started to sway back and forth to the gentle beat. He noticed Lance trying to ignore him and moved around the counter to wrap his arms around Lance’s waist. “Oh come on, you know you love it.” Keith teased, kissing back of Lance’s neck._

_Lance giggled and put the knife down the counter and spun around to face Keith. “I really don’t love it, but you make it extremely difficult to ignore.”_

_Keith laughed and moved back into the living room, gesturing for Lance to follow him. Reluctantly Lance wiped his hands on a towel and walked over to his boyfriend, wrapping his hands around his waist. Keith’s arms went up around his neck. “Really though? John Waite?”_

_“Of course John Waite.” Keith said, his tone completely matter of fact. The two swayed to the beat in silence for long moment._

_Lance decided to humor Keith and leaned in to sing softly into his ear. “And I ain’t missing you at all…”_

_Keith pushed back, a grin breaking across his face. “So you do know this song!”_

_“I’m only singing to humor you babe.”_

_“Sure you are.” They rested their foreheads together and stopped moving all together. Then Keith broke away to dramatically sing some of the final lines. “And it’s my heart that’s breaking… DOWN THIS LONG DISTANCE LINE TONIGHT!” He shouted dramatically._

_Lance crossed his arms and shook his head, laughing at Keith’s antics. “You are completely ridiculous, you know that right?” He asked once the song was over._

_Keith met his eyes, “But that’s why you love me.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so that memory sequence at the every end of the chapter? John Waite's Missing You is one of my all time favorite songs so I'm being very self indulgent. 
> 
> Also Hunk and Allura is a guilty pleasure ships so of course I will have more of it in future chapters.
> 
> Until the next update my dudes!


	3. A Blast From the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WOW. A whole chapter of Garrison flashbacks? Who else loves world building?

Lance groaned at the sound of his alarm clock. He heard Hunk shifting in annoyance on the other side of the room. After getting up at the crack of dawn all throughout high school Lance figured he should be used to alarms by now. But after six months of being at the Garrison his alarm clock had become his biggest enemy. That, and Keith.

 

Lance supposed he shouldn’t call Keith his enemy; maybe rival was a better word. It was nearly impossible to keep up with him; he seemed to excel at any task put in front of him. Lance seethed with envy every time Keith was able to pilot a practice pod to safety, every time he answered a question correctly in class even though he _never_ raised his hand.

 

Slamming his hand on the alarm clock the annoying chirping ceased. Sitting up and rolling his shoulders and neck and cracking his joints Lance stared at his hands in his lap. Hunk rolled over to face his friend. “Morning.” He croaked.

 

Lance forced a smile in his direction. Hunk seemed to be sitting solidly in all his classes; he had been drawn to robotics after taking a few classes. His hero Alfor had been working on some really intense and new forms of AI and Hunk was determined to follow in his footsteps. Lance was still waiting for something to stick, and the longer it took to find something the more anxious Lance got. He only got one chance here, and if they officials didn’t think he belonged here anymore they could send him home in the blink of an eye. “Lance? You ok?” Hunk had sat up in bed now and watched his friend carefully.

 

Lance shook himself, “Yeah, just wish we could sleep in for once.”

 

“Man I hear ya,” Hunk threw back his blankets and padded over to his desk to turn his lamp on. The Garrison’s class regiment was more intense than other school in the nation. They had classes six days a week. The seventh day was usually spent buried in homework. They did have a weeklong break coming up and Lance couldn’t wait to get home to his family.

 

“What classes do you have today?” Lance asked as he lay back down in bed, hands threaded beneath his head.

“I have a six hour lab today, we have to make a working hologram by the end of it.” Hunk pulled a sweatshirt over his head.

 

“I don’t know how you manage those labs.”

 

Hunk chuckled, “If I want to work at Altea Incorporated one day I have to work my ass off. I’m going to the bathroom. Lets go to breakfast when I get back?”

 

Lance hummed in acknowledgement. He was already lost in thought. That was the difference between them. Hunk had a goal in mind; he knew where he wanted to go with his Garrison education. But Lance? He had no idea what he wanted to do with his life.

 

Thinking back on it he couldn’t remember why he wanted to get into the Garrison. _“Maybe I just wanted to get into this school_ just _to get into the school.”_ He thought miserably. Sitting back up in bed he fought off the dark thoughts in the back of his head.

 

_“You don’t belong here…”_ They’d whisper.

 

_“All your friends are more talented than you._ They _deserve to be here, not you…”_

 

Lance squeezed his eyes shut and pushed out of bed to find clothes. There had to be a place for him here, there just had to be. He didn’t work so hard to get here for nothing.

 

Hunk appeared back in the room and patted him on the back. He had known Lance long enough to know when he was starting to struggle. “Lets go get some food. I know you skipped dinner last night even though I remember telling you not to.”

 

Lance smiled weakly at him. “Sorry Hunk, I had to get that simulator homework done.” The two boys left their room and walked through the quiet hallways. They were far enough along in the school year that people stopped getting up for breakfast. But they promised Pidge yesterday they would meet her.

“What do you have going on today bubby?” Hunk asked Lance, trying to draw him out of his shell.

 

“More simulator practice, Rolo and I are going to try for some easier piloting stuff today. Then I have a test over the Mars mission. Apparently there some pilot error on the way there but the pilot was able to save the craft. We have to explain his mistakes.”

 

Hunk nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Fascinating stuff.”

 

Lance snorted. “A lot different than high school that’s for sure.” He went quiet. “Hunk? Do you ever wonder where you’re going?”

 

“I think I’m going to breakfast.” Came the lighthearted answer.

 

“No, like, after the Garrison. There is an entire world out there… We spent a huge chunk of our lives working to get here and our time here will be over before we know it. How are we supposed to face the real world?”

 

Hunk watched Lance for a long moment. “I mean, I want to work at Altea Incorporated. I haven’t really thought past that.” Hunk stopped walking and grabbed Lance’s hand. “Where is this coming from?”

 

“I’m just worried about the future is all.” Lance took back his hand and walked into the cafeteria, eyes cast down to the floor.

 

Hunk stood in the hallway for a moment longer and followed his friend in, worry displayed on his features. He did smile when Pidge slammed into his side, hugging him tightly.

 

She smiled up at him, “God, I feel like I haven’t seen you guys in months.”

 

“We just saw you two days ago.” Hunk said chuckling.

“I know, but a lot happens in two days here. Are you guys excited to go home next week?”

 

“For sure, I call my moms almost everyday but I can’t wait to see them.”

 

Hunk and Pidge joined Lance at a table. He was staring into his cup of coffee, a distant look in his eyes. “Lance?” Pidge asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

 

He blinked a few times and smiled at her. “Morning Pidge.”

 

“You excited to go home?”

 

He nodded excitedly. “I can’t wait see my mom. My older brothers are coming home too,” He sent Hunk a look, “I think our moms are throwing a party.”

 

Hunk grimaced and spread peanut butter on a bagel. “I’m sure it will be just as bad as they going away party they threw for us before we came here.”

 

“What was bad?” Matt asked as he plopped down next to his sister.

 

“Our parents are throwing a party for us when we get home next week. They had a full blown pony at the last one.” Lance answered.

 

“A pony?” Shiro asked skeptically.

 

“It was mostly for Hunk and I’s little cousins. They loved it.”

 

“Until the pony flipped the fuck out and ran off with Lance’s sister on it.” Hunk said, and that got the group laughing.

 

“My mom was horrified. The poor pony was banished to the garage after that.”

 

“Where is home for you guys?” Matt asked.

 

“My family is originally from Cuba, but Hunk and I live off the coast in California.”

 

“So you get to see the beach everyday?” Pidge asked, her eyes lighting up.

 

Lance nodded. “I miss the ocean…” He said a little sadly. He looked up to see concerned expressions on his friend’s faces. He played off the dark mood with a shrug and a laugh. “It will be good to see it again.”

 

The group dropped the talk of home after that and continued with small talk about classes. Shiro and Matt were going to spend the break shadowing at Altea Incorporated, which fascinated Hunk to no end. He asked an endless stream of questions that Matt and Shiro answered diligently.

 

Keith watched the group from a distance, heart clenching when the whole group laughed over something Lance had said.

 

He wanted so desperately to go over and join his friends, well Matt and Shiro and Pidge were his friends, he still wasn’t sure about Hunk and Lance. Every since that day in the simulator Keith knew Lance had put up walls around himself. But Keith didn’t understand why, since then Lance had been decently piloting the simulator.

 

But… he knew Lance thought Keith thought a lot more highly of himself than he actually did. He didn’t seem right to Keith to complain about being at the Garrison when Hunk and Lance had practically sold their lives to go here.

 

Keith didn’t ask to be a gifted pilot. He hadn’t asked for _any_ of this.

 

He was about to duck out of the cafeteria when Matt saw him and waved him over. Reluctantly Keith walked over the table and sat down next to Shiro. He could see Lance tense up out of the corner of his eye, which made him tense up. He hated walking on eggshells around this guy.

“Morning, O Stoic One.” Matt grinned.

 

Keith rolled his eyes and rolled his apple through his hands. Shiro bumped his shoulder and he looked up at his cousin with a glare on his face. “Don’t be so uptight Keith.” Shiro said in a low voice.

 

Keith sucked in a breath and sent a small smile in Hunk’s direction. “Hey dude.” He said quietly.

 

Hunk smiled back. “You finish the homework for lab tomorrow?” He asked.

 

Keith nodded. “Took me forever. I’m still a little shaky on all the new robotics stuff.”

 

“Man me too,” Hunk sipped at his coffee, “The probes we just sent out to Saturn make the Mars Rover look like a toaster oven.”

 

Keith actually felt a grin slip across his face. He liked Hunk, he did. They just had the one lab class together but it was nice to walk into a class and sit next to someone he actually knew.

 

He felt Lance watching him and he carefully lifted his eyes to his. Lance tipped one corner of his mouth up in greeting and then dropped his eyes back to his coffee.

 

Keith kept his eyes on Lance for a bit longer, noticing the sadness creep back into his eyes. It was so raw and real that Keith had to look away. He didn’t know how to talk to people, let alone someone that probably hated him. His grip on his apple tightened. His knuckles went white and he blew his bangs out of his face.

 

Shiro bumped his arm again. “You ok?” He asked in a low voice so no one else would hear him. Keith rolled his eyes and nodded.

 

“So Keith, where are you going for the break?” Hunk’s question startled him.

 

“Oh, um. Probably just home with Shiro.” Shiro smiled at him and stirred some sugar into his tea.

 

“We usually spend the week up in the mountains. There’s a lot of hiking to catch up on.” Shiro added.

 

Hunk’s eyebrows furrowed. “You aren’t going home?” He asked Keith.

 

Keith felt his face turn red and he dropped the apple on the table. “I always spend breaks with Shiro.” He pushed away from the table. “I need to get something from my room.” Keith fled the cafeteria, angrily rubbing away the tears that had formed in his eyes.

 

Back at the table Hunk blushed and turned to Shiro. “I said something wrong didn’t I?”

 

Shiro looked to Matt and Pidge. They both nodded sadly. Shiro sighed and drug a hand through his bangs. “Keith’s parents were killed in a piloting accident when he was just ten. He’s lived with my family ever since.”

 

Lance and Hunk sat back in their chairs, absorbing the new information. “Wow. God, sorry I didn’t realize.” Hunk said.

 

Pidge patted his arm. “Its ok, we figured he might tell you guys when he was ready to. He doesn’t talk about it much.”

 

Conversation moved away from Keith but Lance still found himself thinking about this new revelation. It nearly killed him when he lost his dad, he couldn’t imagine his mom being gone too… and Keith had been so young. “ _Maybe I should talk to him…”_ Lance pushed the fleeting thought from his mind. “ _Like he’d ever want advise from me.”_

***

 

Later that day Lance and Rolo began to strap into the simulator. “Ready for this fly boy?” Rolo asked, dragging his dirty blond hair out of his eyes.

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Today’s simulation should be a piece of cake to pass; it was just a simple cargo pick up and drop off. Everyone else in the class had passed with flying colors, Keith included. He hadn’t looked at Lance one time since the class started. There was still some deep primal urge to go up and talk to him, but Lance pushed those feelings down. He chalked it up to waiting for the right moment. “ _Knowing Keith, there’ll never be a right moment.”_

Sighing Lance finished up with his last buckle and started to flip switches, preparing the simulator for take off. He if he couldn’t pass this simulation than they might never let him fly an actual ship.

 

Biting back waves of nervousness Lance looked over to Rolo. “All systems ready?”

 

“Aye-aye Captain.”

 

Iverson’s voice crackled in over the speakers. “Alright McClain, show me what you can do.”

 

“Right away sir.” Lance clenched his jaw and started in inch the ship down the runway on the screen. The sharp taste of blood flooded his tongue and he realized he had bit his cheek. Sucking in a breath he lifted the ship off the runway and into the air, keeping it steady all the way.

 

“Excellent McClain, keep it up.” Iverson’s voice only just registered in Lance’s ears.

 

“Rolo read me the flight stats.”

 

“Fuel is at 98%, thrusters are all firing in tip-top shape. We are at a steady altitude.”

 

Lance bit back a grin. Rolo may be a showboat but he did take his piloting extremely seriously. Lance got the ship to a decent altitude and put the thrusters into early flight mode. They would be in the air about ten minutes before they had to land again. Iverson remained silent so Lance assumed he was doing everything the way he was supposed to.

 

No alarms blared, the ship didn’t falter, and everything was going smoothly. Lance fought back a wave of anxiety. He gripped the controls tightly; he was just waiting for something to go wrong.

 

“A minute out from landing Captain.”

 

Lance flipped all the proper switches and set the ship toward the landing pad. He felt success in the back of his throat. And just as he was about to let that feeling envelop him, an alarm started to blare. “Shit,” Lance hissed. “Rolo! What’s wrong?”

 

“We lost one of the main thrusters. I don’t know what happened.” Rolo sounded panicked.

 

“Do everything you can to stabilize it. We’re landing this sucker.”

 

“There’s no way we can land safely without all the thrusters!”  


“Shut up and trust me!” Lance gritted his teeth and knocked out the power to the backing engines. He felt the ship dipping dangerously to the left and he yanked the controls as far as they could go.

 

“The second main thruster is about to go!” He heard Rolo shout behind him.

 

“We aren’t going to need it.” Lance’s voice was laced with steely determination. He cut all power the main thrusters and attempted to keep the ship at a regular pace despite the jarring in the cabin. The landing pad was just in sight. “Fucking hell…” He muttered to himself.

 

As the ground grew closer and closer and the alarms blared louder Lance waited. He heard Rolo screaming off stats somewhere in the distance, but he couldn’t be bothered. He felt his heart leap into this throat and with an angry shout he slammed the button for the emergency parachutes.

He and Rolo lurched up in their seats as the chutes opened. As the ship continued its fall they slammed back down in their seats. Lance kept a firm grip on his controls and after a heart wrenching minute or two the ship touched down, less than gracefully, on the landing pad.

 

Lance let his death grip on the controls slacken and he sat back heavily in his seat. “Holy shit Captain!” Rolo laughed, pulling his hair out his eyes. He started to laugh, and soon Lance joined him.

 

“McClain, Rogers, step out of the simulator please.” Iverson’s cut through the laughter. Lance and Rolo exchanged a look and undid all the straps keeping them in place.

 

Lance felt almost guilty when he stepped out the dark simulator into the bright hanger. He stood and attention, Rolo just as rigid at his side.

 

Iverson stepped up to both of them and regarded them closely. Lance gulped and fought to keep eye contact. “Now that,” Lance waited for the harsh words. “ _That was the worst piloting I’ve ever seen. You can’t even keep a fucking cargo ship in air long enough to pick up the damn cargo?”_

“Was some excellent flying.” Lance looked up sharply at Iverson. He smiled and turned to the rest of the students. “McClain here just demonstrated something I want all of you to learn. Can anyone tell me what that was?”

 

The students all remained silent, watching Iverson carefully. “McClain kept a cool and level head throughout that entire process. I haven’t seen one of you come back from a crash like that and successfully land the craft in the process.” He turned back to Lance, “Excellent job McClain. I can see greatness within you.” He patted Lance’s shoulder. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all after your break.”

 

Rolo was the first one to react. He picked up Lance and spun him around. “Goddamn fly boy, praise from Iverson, I never thought I’d see the day.” Lance laughed and pushed out of Rolo’s grip. He felt the smile start at his mouth and then slowly take over the rest of his face. He was sure Iverson was going to yell at him, like he usually always did.

 

“Thanks for getting me through that.” He said to Rolo, who shrugged off the compliment and went to join his other friends. Lance laughed a little and ran a hand through his hair. He scanned the room and got a couple thumbs up from his other classmates.

 

His eyes finally found who he was looking for though, and he felt his heart leap into his throat when his eyes met the stormy violet ones. But much to his surprise, Keith smiled at him. Feeling a little hesitant Lance walked over to where Keith was standing.

 

“Nice flying.” Keith said quietly.

 

“Thanks, I was sure I end up failing again.”

 

Keith shrugged a little awkwardly. “I knew you’d get the hang out it eventually.”

 

Silence fell over the both of them. “So um,” Lance cleared his throat, “Shiro said you guys are going to the mountains for break?”

 

Keith nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. “My aunt and uncle live in the Rockies. They think the morning air is good for cleansing the soul.” Keith jumped a little when Lance snorted.

 

“Sorry, sorry. I just… that was funny.”

 

Keith felt his eyes widen. “Yeah, yeah I guess so.” He felt another silence coming. “Where are you going for break?”

 

“Back home, to California. Well Hunk and I both. We live a street away from each other.”

 

“Must be nice.”

“What?”

 

“Living so close to your best friend.”

 

Lance smiled and kicked at the ground. “Yeah. We’ve known each other since we were kids. I wouldn’t have gotten here without him.”

 

“Cool.” Keith offered. “Do you live near a beach?”

 

Lance’s eyes lit up in excitement and Keith pretended not to notice. “Yeah, I can see it from my roof. It’ll be too late in the season for surfing up I do it all the time in the summers. On really windy days I like to sit on the roof, you can actually taste salt in the air.” Lance cut himself off and blushed. “Sorry, I get kind of carried away talking about home.”

 

Keith shrugged and found that he had to look away from the blue eyes. “Its ok… I’ve never seen a beach.”

 

“Maybe you’ll have to come visit sometime.” Lance surprised himself by saying.

 

Keith looked up sharply and met his eyes again. “Yeah… maybe.”

 

The two stared at each other for another long moment before Lance cleared his throat. “I guess I should get going, I need to pack and… yeah.”

 

“Yeah, of course.”

 

Lance smiled, his straight teeth gleaming. “Catch ya later Keith.”

 

Keith only nodded in response. He stayed in the hanger for a couple minutes longer, the happiness in Lance’s eyes when he talked about his home standing out in such sharp contrast to the sadness he saw in his eyes earlier that morning.

***

“Mom!” Lance screamed, tearing out of the taxi and up to his front porch.

 

“Oh, Lance, my boy!” He grabbed Lance into her arms and held him tight. “I’ve missed so much.”

 

Lance pulled out of the hug and wiped his eyes. “Me too, me too. It’s been the longest six months of my life.” He scurried back to the taxi and got his bags and struggled back up the front porch.

 

By the time he got inside his house the rest of his family swarmed him. Lance soon found himself lost in a sea of hugs and kisses and demands to hear all the funny stories he was bound to have. “Everybody, everybody, I’m just as excited to see Lance as everyone else but let him breathe!” He heard his oldest brothers voice.

 

“Jamie!” Lance cried, launching himself into his brother’s arms. “I thought you weren’t supposed to get here until tomorrow!”

 

“I wanted to surprise you kid.” Lance smiled up at his oldest brother. He hadn’t seen Jamie since their father’s funeral. But Jamie was a busy guy; he had three kids and an office job. Besides their mother Jamie had been the biggest supporter of Lance getting into the Garrison. He pushed Lance out his arms and pretended to look him over. “Six months of higher education sure have changed you little brother.”

 

Lance grinned and shoved at his shoulder. “Shut up.” Lance spent the next hour attempting to tell as many stories about the Garrison that he could. He felt his voice giving out and his mother shooed everyone away and came back with a cup of tea for him.

 

She watched her son for a long moment. “So are you sure you’re happy Lance?”

 

He nodded. “This is the best education I could possibly be getting. I’m not going to take that for granted.” He looked into the steaming cup of tea. “It’s a lot more different than I thought it would be… but I’m doing my best.”

 

His mother patted his hand. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

 

She then left Lance to sit on the comfortable old couch in the living room. He leaned his head back into the worn upholstery and breathed in the familiar scent of home. The couch creaked in the exact places he remembered they would, the same banging and crashing from his younger siblings sounded upstairs, just like they always had. Lance fought off a wave of tears when he heard his mom turn his radio on to listen to the same station, just like she always did.

 

It was going to be so hard to leave.

 

After a full dinner and dessert and even more story telling Lance found himself up on the roof. The stars shined brightly in the sky far above him and he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, the tangy salt air filling his lungs in the best way possible.

 

“I thought I’d find you up here.” Jamie said, carefully treading across the roof to where his kid brother sat.

 

“I needed to breath… the Garrison isn’t anywhere near the ocean.”

 

Jamie regarded his brother’s profile. “How has it been? Honestly. I know there’s something you aren’t telling mom.”

 

Lance sighed heavily and sought out the ocean in the growing darkness. “I just don’t think I have a place there. I’m not good at anything. But Hunk? He’s excelling. He’s creating holograms and working on new streams of AI. And our friend Pidge? She’s smarter than half of the professors there. Her and older brother is the same way. And god, Shiro is practically a god there. And…”

 

“And what, Lance?”

 

“Shiro’s cousin, Keith. He’s like, the most gifted pilot in the entire fucking world. He doesn’t even have to _try_ and Iverson basically kisses the ground he walks on.” Lance was surprised to feel his eyes fill with tears. They slipped out onto his cheeks before he was ready to fight them off. “I don’t know Jamie… I’m not good enough to be there and I’m so scared someone is going to realize that and send me home.”

 

Lance gulped back sobs and he felt Jamie hug him tightly. “You can’t think like that little brother, you are just as deserving to be at the school as any of the other students there.”

 

“It doesn’t feel like it. Everything I do is wrong.” Lance whispered miserably.

 

“Hey now, that’s no way for a McClain to think. Keep your chin up kid, I’m sure things will start to look up.”

 

Lance shrugged. “Is it ok that I’m alone for awhile?” Jamie nodded and patted him on the shoulder before he climbed back down. Lance wiped his eyes and sniffed, hating that he broke down in front of his brother. Closing his eyes again he breathed in the salt air until he felt his heart calm down. He desperately wished he knew where to go from here.

 

***

“Keith, you’re sure you don’t want to come to town with us?”

 

Keith forced a smile at his aunt. “No Aunt Kay, I’m really tired from the flight out here.”

 

“Whatever you say,” She pushed his bangs aside and kissed his forehead. “We’ll bring you back some ice cream, how about that?”

 

“Sounds great.” Keith watched the car pull of the drive and wide back down the mountain. Once he was sure the car was out of sight he tore out the back door of the house and hiked through the woods until he found his spot. It was a sheer drop-off with one of the best views. He sat down on his favorite rock and sucked the mountain air into his lungs.

 

As he stared off into the mountain valley below him he wondered if Lance was sitting on the roof of his house, breathing salt air into his lungs. He had painted a fantastic picture for Keith and now all he wanted to do was experience an ocean.

 

It had been hard to keep Lance out of his mind, and he couldn’t fathom why. Lance didn’t like him. Just because he talked to him once after class doesn’t mean anything.

 

It had always been hard for Keith to make friends, even when he was little. No one seemed to like him. It only got worse after his parents died. He didn’t even like Matt and Pidge to begin with, it had taken years for him to let down his walls and call them his friends. So why was he so desperate for Lance to like him?

 

Keith brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs. “Stupid Lance.” He whispered to himself. “I didn’t go to the Garrison to make friends.” He spoke a little louder. “I don’t need anymore friends.”

 

***

_Lance slowly woke up to the sounds of birds chirping outside the window. He could tell before he even opened his eyes that it was already late morning. Sighing he turned over in bed and cracked his eyes open to one of the most beautiful sights in the world._

_Keith lay on his side, hair sticking out at all kinds of odd angles. One arm was thrown up over his head and the other lay on his stomach. His breathing indicated that he was still in a deep sleep and Lance took the advantage of watching his boyfriend sleep._

_Ever so gently he reached out and touched Keith’s cheek, following the curve down to sharp jawline and the smooth transition into his neck. Keith stirred at the contact and groaned and rubbed at his eyes. “What time is it?” He mumbled, turning into Lance._

 

_Lance smiled and buried his face into Keith’s hair, trying to memorize his scent. “I have no idea.” He whispered back._

_Keith pushed even deeper into Lance. “Then stay a while longer with me.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm sorry this chapter is a little shorter and took so long to get here... I recently started some new depression meds so I've been trying to get used to that and my class schedule has been insane this semester. I promise the next chapter will be out soon.
> 
> I know this chapter is pretty dialogue heavy too so I apologize if that seems a little annoying! 
> 
> Love you all and thanks for reading!


	4. Stored Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said you could expect a new chapter soon? Well here she is, and it is a looonngg one.

Hunk sat in his car a moment longer, watching the torrent of rain cascading down from the heavens. Pulling up his hood tight around his neck and ears he grabbed his bag and coffees and made a sprint into the office. He stomped his feet off and shook the hood off, spraying water all over the months old magazines scattered on the coffee table. Matt sent him a mock glare and pressed a button on his holoscreen.

 

“Altea Incorporated this is Matt, how can I help you today?” Matt’s chipper voice rang out through the empty waiting room. Hunk sent a smile his way and sent Matt’s coffee on his desk. Matt smiled gratefully at him and rolled his eyes and pointed to the receiver in his ear. “Apparently a toaster AI has gone haywire.” He whispered.

 

Hunk rolled his eyes and chuckled. Before Altea Inc. started to deal with the big leagues of advanced and completely sentient AI they had dealt with smaller things, like toasters than ran themselves.

 

Pidge was already sitting at her desk, chattering away to a costumer that wanted to install the Altea Home Security brand of AI. Allura and Shiro were most likely buried in the back office, preoccupied with Voltron. Hunk tried to get Allura to stay home a little longer this morning, but she outright refused.

 

“I’m almost at the breaking point Hunk,” She had said one dark evening, “I can’t let it slip through my fingers.”

 

Hunk pushed the glass door to his office open and set down the remaining coffees and shrugged out of his rain jacket. A list of memos and things to do already sat waiting by his holoscreen. Heaving back a sigh he walked the short distant to Lance’s office and knocked on the glass. “Figured you might need some caffeine.”

 

He looked up and smiled. “Thanks man, Allura keeps sending me data streams from Blue, the second I make sense of one new piece of information she sends me ten more.”

 

“She has been burning both ends of the candle lately. I had to force her to come home with me last night, and she was gone when I woke up.”

 

“I know how important Voltron is to her,” Lance said as he ran a hand through his hair, “It was Alfor’s last big project before he passed. But I’m afraid she might start to push everyone too hard.”

 

“I agree, I’m actually hoping she runs into another dead end, just so she can take a breather.”

 

Lance tapped his pen against his desk a few times. “What we need to do is open up Red’s data streams again. It might give us some insight into what’s wrong with Blue.”

 

“Open up Red again? Lance…”

 

“I know, I know, ok?” Lance rolled his eyes mightily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know Red belonged to Keith ok? But Keith wouldn’t want Red just _sitting_ there. He cared about Voltron just about as much as Allura.”

 

Hunk patted his friend’s shoulder and took a drag of coffee. “We should bring it up to Allura later. If anyone was going to start work with Red again it should be you.”

 

“What’s this about Red?” Allura asked. She walked up to Hunk and kissed his cheek. He smiled softly at her.

 

“I should let Lance explain.”

 

“Right,” Lance swallowed nervously. “We’ve left Red alone for too long, Keith had been working on cracking him open but couldn’t get it figured out before he… anyways. It’s not fair to Keith or to Red to keep him locked up; I think we should open him up again. It might help us to finally cracking open Blue.”

 

Allura nodded thoughtfully. “That sounds like a brilliant idea. Are you sure it won’t be too much work to be working with both Blue and Red?”

 

He shrugged, “I’ll just work a little at a time, take it day by day. That’s how Keith went about it. We all know Red has been a little more stubborn than some of the other lions.”

 

“Ah, working on the ever complex mystery of Voltron, are we?” A deep voice asked from the doorway. Three heads spun around to meet the voice, and none of them were pleased to see who it was.

 

“What do you want, Lotor?” Lance asked. He noticed Matt standing behind Lotor a little sheepishly.

 

“Sorry,” He piped up, “He wouldn’t leave until I let him back here.”

 

Lotor rolled his eyes. “Just came by to check up on your progress is all.” Lance met Lotor’s eyes and glared. Lotor was the son of the owner of Altea Incorporated biggest rival, Galra Tech. Zarkon was the mastermind behind it all, and in the early days he and Alfor had been business partners. They had come up with the idea of Voltron together, but they violently disagreed on how to use such a power. Alfor wanted to use the power for good, to help people. But Zarkon wanted to keep all the power for himself.

 

In the end they had had a massive falling out resulting in Zarkon creating his own company, and its main focus was to create a working Voltron before Altea Inc. could. Luckily in the legal battles surrounding the creation of the two rival companies Alfor had been able to keep the original data streams of the lions, which put Altea Inc. years ahead in development.

 

Lance hadn’t known Lotor until his early days of working at Altea Inc. Apparently he had also tried to get into the Garrison; he would have been in Shiro and Matt’s class. But he hadn’t been accepted, which added fuel to his fire. Everyone at Altea Inc. besides Allura had graduated from the Garrison. Zarkon was also bitter that some of this generation greatest minds had all taken up offers to work at Altea Inc. instead of Galra Tech. He had made them all offers but they all declined for various reasons.

 

Lotor took on a lot of the same characters as his father; hard and intense gray eyes, long white hair he always had up in some sort of elaborate hairstyle, and the same greed. He had been a thorn in this company’s side for years.

 

Allura crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her rival. “We all know you never drop by unless there’s something you want to gloat about.”

 

Lotor laughed breezily and swept his bangs off his forehead. “Not to gloat my friend, just heard news through the grapevine that you’ve been making progress with your precious Voltron.”

 

“What’s it to you?” Pidge asked angrily. She pushed her glasses up her nose and glared.

 

“Oh absolutely nothing, we just find it interesting that its taken you three years to make Voltron _do_ anything.”

 

“And we could say the same of Galra Tech.” Shiro added, having just joined the conversation.

 

Lance threaded his fingers together and looked down at his desk. The last thing he had needed this morning was a run in with one of the most irritating people he knew. “Lotor if you have nothing to say I’d suggest you leave.” He said, rubbing at his forehead. He felt a headache coming on already.

 

“Oh of course, I didn’t mean to throw a wrench into anyone’s morning plans. I can see you are all very busy, what with the Blue lion acting out again.”

 

“How did you know we were working on Blue?” Lance asked, his head snapping up sharply.

 

“Well lets see,” Lotor said in a mock singsong, “You’ve already unlocked Green, Yellow and Black. The only two that have still been causing you problems are the Blue lion and the Red, correct?”

 

The employees of Altea Inc. stayed silent. “Then my assumptions are correct.” Lotor declared triumphantly. His steel gray eyes moved to the darkened office just across the way. “Though I can see you probably won’t be making any progress on the Red lion anytime soon.”

 

Lance’s shoulder stiffened. “You have no right to come into this office and make assumptions like that.”

 

“Ah, it would seem I struck a nerve.” Lotor smirked, moving forward to Lance’s desk. “Keith has been gone for how long now? What point is there in continuing without Keith? Without our help?”

 

“Get. Out.” Lance ground through his teeth. Shiro grabbed Lotor’s arm and forcibly pulled him away from Lance’s desk.

 

“That’s an order I wouldn’t take lightly.” Shiro said, pushing Lotor from Lance’s office.

 

Lotor mocked a bow. “I see I’ve overstayed my welcome. Have a nice day.” And just as soon as he came, he was gone. Everyone was still gathered in Lance’s office, no words spoken.

 

Hunk broke the silence first. “Lance, you know he was just saying that to get under our skin.”

 

He watched for any sign of emotion from his friend. “Oh I know.” Lance’s voice was horribly quiet. “I just want to get back to work.”

 

Allura made a move to go to Lance’s side but Hunk put a hand on her arm gently. He shook his head and led her from the office. Everyone else followed suit. Once Lance was well out of earshot Allura bristled up. “How dare he come into this office and put Lance down like that.”

 

“I know. He’s just trying to find a way to stick his claws into our progress. You know Zarkon wouldn’t send him here otherwise.”

 

She sighed heavily. “I just want to make Voltron a reality, not just for my father, not just for us, but I feel like it would help Lance find some closure. I know how much this project meant to Keith.”

 

Hunk pulled her into his arms. “Just promise you won’t work yourself to death ok? I still need you.” He pushed back far enough to kiss her forehead lightly. “Come home early today. I’m making your favorite.”

 

Allura laughed lightly. “Whatever you say.”

 

Back in his office Lance fought off the growing wave of panic he felt. “ _Lotor was just saying those things to throw you off. You have to stay focused now. Your friends need you.”_ He tapped a couple buttons on his holoscreen and attempted to make sense out the hundreds of numbers flashing before his eyes.

 

Yeah, no. This wasn’t working. He closed everything back up again and hesitantly looked to the dark office across from his. He still knew all of Keith’s passwords. “ _Ok Lance, you can do this. No big deal. It’s just an office. Just. An. Office.”_

 

Standing up a little shakily he moved the glass door and pushed it open and flicked on the lights. A new layer of dust had grown over the picture he had looked at last week. Ignoring the bile rising in his throat he sat down in Keith’s chair and booted up the holoscreen. It slowly came to life, old memos and notes that Keith had written still displayed on the screen.

 

Lance felt his throat closing but he pushed through and waded through some folders. Keith had never been organized and it showed here. It brought a reluctant smile to Lance’s face, and brought to the surface a memory he was sure he had forgotten.

 

_“Jesus Keith, how long has your closet looked like this?”_

_“Like what?” He asked from where he was sprawled on the bed._

_Lance picked up a shoe from a pile of old Garrison sweatshirts. “Like this.” He said laughing, finding the matching shoe and placing them in their proper places._

_Keith sat up and pulled his hair into a sloppy bun. He cocked his head as he regarded the contents of his closet. “I don’t see anything wrong with it.”_

_Lance had to laugh. He plopped on the floor next to the bed and leaned his head against Keith’s leg. “It looks like barely organized chaos.”_

_Keith smiled down at Lance and gently stroked a hand through the short brown hair he loved so much. “But I know exactly where everything is.” Lance hummed in response. “I like that analogy, barely organized chaos.”_

_“How come?”_

_It was a silent for a moment while Keith pondered the question. “Because it’s kinda like our lives. We’re always moving, changing, and discovering new things about who we are. Barely organized chaos.”_

_Lifting up off the floor Lance leaned in and kissed him gently, pulling back to smile. “Yeah. That actually makes sense Mullet.”_

Shaking off the memory Lance dove into his boyfriend’s notes, hoping to find some sort of clarity in the mess that his life had become.

 

***

“Why did Thace and Ulaz feel the need to send us both on the recon mission?” Keith asked in annoyance. He was already miserable enough with the rain, but now he had to listen to Shay drone for the next six hours of this stakeout.

 

“Because they both finally realized you are prone to follow your emotions more than the protocol of the mission. That’s why.” She huffed. She gripped her hands a little tighter around cup of coffee and squinted through the rain.

 

They were currently holed up in an old housing block directly across from Galra Tech. Thace and Ulaz knew that soon as Zarkon caught wind of Keith’s friends making progress on Voltron they would try something hasty. So far they only activity they had seen was Lotor leaving the building and returning less than twenty minutes later.

 

“What do you make of that?” Shay asked as they watched Lotor sulk back into the building.

 

Keith scratched his chin. “When I worked at Altea Inc. Zarkon would send Lotor over to try and scare us, usually only when we made a big break through and Zarkon realized he was falling behind. I guess he caught wind of Allura and Lance making a breakthrough with Blue.”

 

Shay reached behind her and pulled out a walkie-talkie. “Better let Thace know.”

 

Scanning through the static until he found a correct channel Keith relied the message. “So, what should we do?” He asked Thace.

 

“Nothing at the moment. Continue to watch the building. If anyone else leaves let me know immediately.”

 

“Copy that.” Keith clicked off the channel and set the device down by his feet. No one had used walkie-talkies for communication for years now, which is exactly why Thace thought it was a safer way to communicate when everyone was out on a mission.

 

The rain picked up in intensity and a sharp wind blew it in through the exposed windows. Keith shivered and pulled his jacket up closer around his ears. Shoving his hands in his pockets he felt his secret communicator. He pulled it out of his pocket and ran it through his hands a few times before opening the message stream he had with Lance.

_Stay sharp, Samurai_ blinked out from the screen and almost seemed to mock him. How badly he wished he could hear those words out loud. Shay watched him, her expression completely neutral. The sadness and longing in Keith’s eyes were almost too much for her to handle. “Have you tried sending him another message?”

 

He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have sent the first one.”

 

“That’s right, you shouldn’t have, and yet here we sit.”

 

Keith met Shay’s eyes. “I don’t know what else I would say. How do you tell your boyfriend, that has probably spent the last the last three years thinking I’m dead, that I can’t come home until I destroy the rival company that wants to kill all my friends?”

 

“I would start with ‘Hi. Not Dead.’ And move on from there.” She rolled her eyes and took a sip of coffee. “Or you know, just let him know you are safe. Safer than you were last year.”

 

Keith shuddered at the memories. His two years spent locked up were not ones he liked to revisit if her could help it. “But then Lance would want to find. He could put himself in danger.” He said, ignoring Shay’s last comment.

 

“Maybe we need a little help from the inside. No one at Altea Inc. truly understands the gravity of the situation. They are all already in danger, Keith.”

 

He hummed, mulling his options over in his head. “If Thace found out he’d kill me.”

 

“In the end he’d all realize it’s for the greater good of the mission.”

 

“Ok, yeah. You’re right.”

 

“I always am.” Shay grinned into her coffee cup. After a moment she perked up. “Hey, someone’s pulling up to the building. She pulled out a pair of binoculars and strained to see through the rain. “I can’t tell who it is.” She passed the binoculars over to Keith.

 

Grabbing them from her he pushed the lenses up to his eyes and moved closer to the window, attempting to catch a glimpse of the new suspect. “I can’t tell… no wait. I think I know who it is.” Keith dropped the binoculars into his lap. He felt his heart stop in his chest. Shay grabbed for the walkie-talkie and shoved it into his hands. The look on his face terrified her.

 

“Keith? Keith, dude come on who is it?”

 

“It’s Haggar.”

 

***

 

The weeklong break passed all too quickly in Lance’s opinion. It was nearly impossible to leave his family behind. He wouldn’t be able to come home for another six months.

 

“Now don’t you work too hard now, and call whenever you can. Make more friends!” His mother had berated him one last time before his taxi arrived.

 

“Mom, I’ve been there for six months, I already have friends.”

 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t always make more.” She hugged him one last time.

 

Hunk waved from the driveway, “Taxi’s here Lance!”

 

Lance hugged his mother again, hard. “I love you, momma. I’m going to make you proud.”

 

Her eyes threatened to spill over, “Don’t you know? You already have.”

 

Before he could start crying Lance picked up his bags and ran to the taxi. He and Hunk shoved all their crap in the trunk and the taxi pulled away as the two boys waved desperately to their families. Hunk leaned his head back against the seat and sighed. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to go back to that schedule.”

 

“Me either.” Lance watched the ocean for as long as he could and closed his eyes when it was finally out of sight. He had gone surfing once with Jamie and he couldn’t believe how rusty he had gotten in the months he had been gone. _“It will all be worth it in the end.”_ He kept trying to tell himself. It was nice to have a week where the only thing he had to worry about was whether or not he and Hunk were going to hit up the surf shack in the mall.

 

They had also run into some of the guys they graduated high school with. During high school the boys had teased Hunk and Lance to no end, constantly putting them down for doing what they deemed impossible. It had felt good to rub their accomplishments in those boys’ faces. Not only did they graduate top of the class in high school, they were now attending the most technologically advanced school in the world.

 

“What are ya thinking about?” Hunk opened his eyes and shifted his head over so he could look at his friend.

 

“Oh, just the thing at the mall the other day. Remember when Joey said he was gunna get accepted to Harvard?”

 

Hunk smirked, “Yeah, and he lasted what, a month?”

 

“Three weeks.” Lance clarified. Both boys had to laugh. No matter what, they were going to go places. The flight back to the Garrison seemed to take forever and by the time they finally got back up to their room Lance was exhausted. Most of the other students looked like they felt the same way. It didn’t matter if there was a break or not, you could never really leave the Garrison. Classes started back up again tomorrow and Lance’s plan was to pass out and get as much sleep as he could, considering his sleeping schedule would go back to non-existent in the next couple of weeks.

 

“Wanna grab some food?” Hunk asked as he dropped his suitcase on his bed.

 

“I’ll catch up with you in a bit ok? I wanna unpack first.”

 

“Sounds good, I’ll find Pidge.”

 

The door hissed closed behind Hunk and Lance sprawled out on his bed and took a deep breath. No ocean salt filled his lungs here, just the smell of Hunk’s candle in the corner. He already missed home so much it ached.

 

Pushing off his bed he unpacked his small bag and changed clothes and headed down the hallway to the elevators. Just as he was about to push the button to head down he saw something out the corner of his eye. Shifting his head around until he could see Lance felt a small pang. Keith sat in one of the lounges, staring out a window in the dark night. Lane weighed his options before he left the elevator behind and made his way into the lounge.

 

“Keith,” He startled and turned to Lance, “How was your break?” Lance settled on the window seat next to him, drawing his legs up to his chest.

 

Keith blinked at him a few times before answering. “It was ok.” He turned back to the window. “How was the ocean?”

 

Though Keith couldn’t see it Lance smiled at him. “It was good, really, really good.”

 

“That’s good.” Keith had to fight not to blush. “How was your family?”

 

“Good, my oldest brother Jamie came home for like the first time in years. We went surfing one day.”

 

A silence fell over them but it wasn’t awkward, not yet anyways. Lance found himself drawn to Keith’s reflection in the window, his violet eyes snapping. Though Lance couldn’t place the emotion he saw reflected there. He decided to go out on a limb. “Do you wanna come grab some food? I was going to meet Hunk and Pidge.”

 

Violet met blue. “Yeah, sure.” Keith said hesitantly.

 

Lance stood and offered his hand. Keith took it carefully and Lance helped him into a standing position. “You said you lived in the mountains right?” Keith nodded. “Have you ever gone skiing?”

 

“Yeah, but I prefer to snowboard. Shiro is better though.” Keith realized he compared himself to his cousin quite a bit. It was hard to stand in his shadow. Sure, Iverson was obsessed with him, but there was just _something_ about Shiro that drew people to him like a magnet. When they had first met Matt and Pidge the two instantly opened up to Shiro and they were soon best friends. It had taken Keith so much longer to be able to open up. He always felt like he was a step behind Shiro, and he feared he might never catch up. Lance’s voice startled him out his reprieve.

 

“I’m sure you both just have your own ways of doing things. I’ve never been skiing. Well I guess I’ve been waterskiing before.” Lance realized he was babbling and stopped.

 

“I’ve never been waterskiing.” Keith’s interest peaked.

 

Lance pushed the button for the elevator and refused to meet Keith’s eyes. “Well maybe we’ll find a way for you try it sometime.”

 

“And for you to actually ski, with snow not water.” Keith surprised himself by saying. They fell into a comfortable silence after that, watching the floor number descend. When the doors opened they bumped into each other on the way out and Keith blushed furiously and let Lance go first. He stayed about a step behind Lance all the way to the cafeteria. When Lance saw Hunk and Pidge his face lit up and he jogged over to them. Keith watched him from a distance for a moment longer, wondering what all made up the web that was Lance McClain.

 

***

The next morning in simulation class Iverson dropped the bomb that they would all be flying with completely new people. Lance felt his face go pale. He had gotten used to flying with Rolo, flying with anyone could completely mess up the system he had developed over the months.

 

Iverson began to call out names and Lance felt his stomach shrivel each time he didn’t hear his name called. As more and more classmates were paired off Lance had a sinking realization. “ _Please don’t make me fly with Keith… please.”_ But then he heard what he had been dreading the most. “McClain, you’ll be with Kogane. Maybe flying with such an expert pilot will give you some pointers.” Iverson winked at Keith, who at least at the grace to grimace.

 

Lance flushed and looked at his shows, trying his best to ignore the snickers coming from his classmates. He risked a glance up at Keith but he was also staring firmly at the ground. He and Keith were going to fly last, most likely to save the show for his classmates. “ _People are going to be laughing at me for weeks.”_ Lance thought miserably.

 

Rolo punched him lightly on the shoulder before he got into the simulator with Lee. Their flight went smooth enough, just a minor hiccup when they tried to land. The longer Lance had to wait to get into the simulator the more knots formed in his stomach. Keith would obviously fly, and he would just be the secondary pilot. Why would Iverson put him through this type of humiliation?

 

“Alright, Kogane, McClain, you guys are up. I want McClain piloting. Kogane, you be his second.” Lance swallowed thickly and made his way into the simulator. His hands were shaking so badly he almost couldn’t clasp his seatbelts together. Keith sat silently behind him, going through his preflight checks. Lance hadn’t seen him fly secondary before he was positive he would handle it with ease, “ _Just like he does with everything else.”_ He thought bitterly. No, wait, he and Keith were friends now. Right? I mean they had talked a little last night, sat next to each other at dinner. But just because they had talked once doesn’t mean they would be able to fly together.

 

“Alright McClain, lets get this show on the road. Show your classmates what you can do.”

 

Lance glanced behind him once, carefully. “Are you ready?”

 

“As I’ll ever be.”

 

“Ok.” He took a steadying breath and eased the ship into motion. His hands were still shaking and he had to fight to calm them down. Soon the entire ship would be sent into an uneven motion from how hard he was shaking. “Thruster levels?” He asked quietly.

 

“What?” Keith wrinkled his brow at him.

 

“I asked about the thruster levels.”

 

“Come now McClain, take charge of the situation.” Iverson’s ever present voice crackled through the speakers.

 

“Thruster levels are sitting pretty,” Keith answered, ignoring Iverson. “I would check the main engines coolant levels though.”

 

Lance flipped some switches and did what Keith suggested. A number flashed across his control panel that stood out. “Hey Keith? We’re losing power to the secondary engines. Could you bring those back up for me?” Keith didn’t answer. “Keith?” Lance almost turned around completely in his seat.

 

“McClain. Eyes on the sky. Kogane. Listen to your pilot.”

 

A huff of annoyance came from behind Lance. “If they main engines are holding stable there’s reason to worry about the secondary ones.”

 

It fell silent in the cockpit. Not knowing what else to say Lance kept his eyes on the simulated sky in front of him and continued to scroll through his inflight checks. The secondary engines kept growing lower and lower. It was sitting him on edge. “Keith I really think you should check out the secondary engines…”

 

Once again there was nothing but silence behind him. Even Iverson had gone completely silent. Lance felt like a fish out of water. He knew he should be taking more control of the situation but he didn’t know how to be assertive when it came to Keith. Rolo followed along with whatever Lance said without question.

 

Gritting his teeth he kept his eyes forward and kept the ship steady through a bout of turbulence. Just when the ship had straightened out it started to shake again, this time almost uncontrollably. Lance’s eyes flew to his control panel to try and determine what was causing the problem. “Thruster levels are extremely low.” Keith deadpanned from behind him.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me before that became a problem?” Lance snapped. Rapidly pushing a few buttons did nothing to stabilize the ship.

 

“I figured you would notice. It’s something pilots always need to pay attention to.”

 

“That and flying the damn ship. I don’t have eyes in the back of my head!”

 

“You can’t always rely on your secondary pilot to do everything for you.” Keith’s voice started to rise in irritation.

 

“Yeah?” Lance’s anger flared as he tried to keep the ship steady. “Maybe not all of us are naturally gifted at everything we do.” Alarms started to blare, giving Lance an immediate headache. Every single damn time he got into this simulator it always went south. And this time it actually was Keith’s fault. He had fallen silent after Lance’s last comment and he wondered if he had gone too far.

 

Another sudden burst sent the ship into a spiral. “We’ve lost the main engines!” Lance said, mostly to himself. “And of course the secondary engines lost all power too. If you had just fixed them when I asked!” Lance didn’t even finish his sentence. His job now was to try and land the ship in a way that wouldn’t end up with both of them killed.

 

“Hey its not my fault that you can’t read a fucking control panel!” Keith yelled back, just as angry now.

 

Just before the ship hit the ground Lance pulled away from the controls and slumped into his seat. He watched helplessly as the simulated sky disappeared. “Great. Just great.” Keith muttered.

 

Lance squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. “What? Never failed a simulation before? How does it feel to finally be out of the spotlight?”

 

Keith felt himself bristle. “If you had just paid more attention this would have been fine.”

 

“No, you just really suck at working in a team.” Lance mumbled under his breathe. A message began to flash across the screen.

 

**Simulation Failed. Crash Landing Not Successful. Simulation Failed. Exit Simulation Now.**

The red message flashed across the screen like a slap to the face. Lance felt his anger bubbling and he was about to turn around and give Keith a piece of his mind when Iverson’s livid voice came through the speakers. “Both of you out here. Now.” He clicked off, leaving the boys in silence.

 

Keith was the first one out of the simulator and Lance followed close behind, hanging his head in shame.

 

Iverson stood in front of them. “Care to explain what that was gentlemen?” Neither one of them spoke. “I had higher hopes for the both of you. I truly did. I thought putting you together would result in better teamwork. Instead I get bickering and name-calling and frankly, awful piloting form both of you.” He stalked away from them for a moment only to pace back. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” More than a little scared Lance lifted his eyes to met Iverson’s. “I’m going to send you both to the Board for a discipline check. This isn’t the school playground. This is the Galaxy Garrison. I expect more from both of you.”

 

Lance felt his heart drop down to his toes. He’s only been here six months and now he has to talk to the Board? What would his mom say if she found out? Blinking rapidly he attempted to calm his breathing.

 

“Class dismissed. McClain, Kogane, follow me.” The rest of the class filed out, all whispering behind their hands. Rolo sent a sympathetic look in Lance’s direction before skirting out of Iverson’s path. Lance’s heart started to beat faster and faster the closer they got to the Board’s meeting room.

 

When they arrived Iverson told them to wait in the hall while he went and gathered the members of the Board together. Keith crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the wall opposite him. Lance however, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. It felt like the walls were about to close in around him. He couldn’t believe he was in trouble. _“What if they send me home? Oh my god they are going to send me home. Momma is going to be so disappointed.”_ Then an even more terrible thought ripped through his head. “ _Dad wouldn’t even be able to look me in the eye if he knew.”_

By the time Iverson ushered them into the boardroom Lance felt like he was going to pass out. Six stern faces watched the two boys walk into the room. Iverson had already explained his reasoning’s for bringing Keith and Lance in, and how they just had to decide what to do about it.

 

“So you boys had a little trouble working together as a team in the simulator today?” A woman Lance had never met before asked. All he could do was nod in response. “Now I’m sure both of you boys understand that teamwork is one of the core values of the Galaxy Garrison.”

 

Again, all Lance could do was nod. He wasn’t sure even sure how Keith was taking all this new information. “I’m disappointed that one of our star students is unable to go along with that core value.” The same woman said, clearly directed at Keith this time. He just looked at the floor. “And you, Mr. McClain. All of here know how hard you worked in order to be able to attend the Garrison, please don’t throw all that away because you can’t play nicely with others.”

 

Lance realized they were all waiting for him to say something. “No, I’m sorry. I promise to do better in the future.” The faces around the table nodded.

 

“Alright then, this will be a warning to you both. Iverson will continue to have you two fly together, hopefully you’ll learn what it takes to work as a team, one that understands each other.”

 

Once they were given permission Lance all but fled the room, his face hot and mind swirling. He wanted to keep going but he felt a hand on his arm. He spun around to face Keith. He was giving him an odd look. “Hey, look, I’m sorry. But it was just one board meeting. No big deal.”

 

Something icy sliced through Lance’s gut. “You don’t get it do you?”

 

Keith scowled. “You just don’t get it.” Lance felt embarrassed when he felt tears sliding down his face. Keith’s expression changed but before he could say anything Lance was gone, disappearing around a corner.

 

***

A knock on his dorm room door startled Hunk out of his studying. He set his books down and went to answer the door and was a little shocked to find Keith standing there. “Hey Keith. What’s up?” He gestured for Keith to come inside and he noticed him looking around. “If you’re looking for Lance, he’s not here. I haven’t seen him for a couple hours.”

 

“Do you have any idea where he went?” Hunk shook his head. “Fuck.” Keith yanked at his bangs and made for the door.

 

Hunk stepped in his path. “Why? What happened?”

 

“I’m not sure… I think I upset Lance though.” Hunk went to sit on his bed and motioned for Keith to sit at Lance’s desk.

 

“I think I might need the full story if you want me to give you any advice.”

 

Sighing heavily Keith relayed all the information from that afternoon to Hunk. He noticed Hunk seemed to grow more concerned with each new detail. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”

 

Grimacing Hunk nodded. “You don’t really know the full story though.”

 

“I want to make things right.” Keith said, (a little desperately he thought).

 

“Well, it’s a long story.” Keith sat, waiting. “Lance hasn’t had the easiest life. He’s been going to therapy since he was little for, various reasons. He comes from a big family too; he’s right in the middle of it all so he was always kind on the wayside to begin with. I was actually the one to come up with the idea of coming here, and we worked our asses off to get accepted. Lance’s depression and anxiety kinda tripled all throughout high school because of it.”

 

“Wow,” Keith couldn’t muster anything else. “I didn’t know.”

 

Hunk leaned forward on his elbows, his expression growing dark. “Lance worked so hard because he wanted to make his family proud, his dad especially. About halfway through high school Lance’s dad,” Hunk rubbed at his eyes, “He passed away. It torn Lance apart. He had to work to help support his family on top of everything else he was doing to get into this school.”

 

Keith stayed silent, his mind reeling from all this new information. “So that’s why he got so scared? He’s afraid of getting kicked out?” Hunk nodded. “I need to find him, so I can apologize. I acted like such an asshole.” He said the last past mostly to himself.

 

“I don’t know how he’ll react, but at least now you know. Take it easy on him next time.”

 

Keith nodded and stood and headed to the door. Before he charged into the hallway he looked back to Hunk, “Thank you, I know it’s not really your place to tell me these kinds of things.”

 

He shrugged. “I’m just looking out for my best friend.”

 

The hallway was relatively quiet at this time of night; most of the students were holed up in their rooms studying for one thing or another. Keith dashed around corners, looked in every lounge area all with no sign of Lance. “ _God you fucked up. You fucked up so bad.”_

Finally Keith decided to check the lounge on the opposite side of the building and finally saw Lance in the darkest corner, sitting in a window seat and staring out into the night. He approached slowly, but he knew Lance heard him coming.

 

“I’ve never seen snow before.” He said quietly. Keith looked out the window and saw a gentle snowfall. An occasional gust of wind would send the flakes into a frenzy, only to calm back down again as they made their gentle decent down to the ground below.

 

“It is beautiful.” He gauged the situation for a moment longer before he sat next to Lance, watching the snowfall. Gathering his courage he finally turned to face the boy sitting next to him. “Lance, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

 

He didn’t take his eyes off the falling snow. “Let me guess, you talked to Hunk?”

 

“I did, I didn’t realize,”

 

“No need to get into it. I’m fine.” Keith watched Lance’s eyes almost glass over and he felt his heart drop.

 

“No Lance, I really messed up and I’m trying to apologize.” Lance didn’t say anything so Keith turned his head back to the window where he tried to watch the snow. He knew Lance wasn’t paying attention to him so he turned his eyes to the other boy. He was wearing a sweatshirt several sizes to big for him, and standard black shorts. As Keith scanned the image the other boy created he noticed something on his ankle. A closer look made Keith smile. “You have a tattoo?”

 

Lance turned to him, eyes a little wide. He glanced quickly down at his ankle and then back out the window. “Yeah.”

 

“Well what is it?” Keith persisted. He at least wanted to keep Lance talking; he didn’t want him to be alone right now.

 

Heaving a sigh Lance turned his ankle around so Keith could see it better. “It’s just something my dad used to say all the time, _Find Your Own Star,_ after, after he was gone I just wanted to do something in memory of him.”

 

“Well that’s really cool, actually,” Keith lifted up the long sleeve black t-shirt he was wearing to reveal three words in black ink on his ribs, “Shiro says this all the time.”

 

“Patience Yields Focus.” Lance read slowly.

 

“Hm-hm. Its kind of my go to mantra.” Keith dropped the shirt back down around his waist. “I’m really sorry you lost your dad Lance, Hunk told me how much he meant to you.” The conversation turned serious again.

 

Looking down at his wrists Lance blinked rapidly and wiped at his eyes. “He’s the whole reason I wanted to get into this school, all I ever wanted to do was to make him proud. He died before I even got accepted here. But I wanted to get accepted you know? For his memory, and if he’s watching me from somewhere. I know this all sounds incredibly stupid.” He wiped at his eyes again and turned his eyes back out to the snow.

 

“No, Lance its ok. It’s ok to miss him. And I know I fucked up today, getting you in trouble like that… I didn’t even stop to think about my actions.”

 

Lance shrugged. “It wasn’t entirely your fault. We both yelled at each other.” They stayed quiet for a really long time. Long enough that Keith thought Lance wanted to be alone. Just as he was about to get up Lance’s voice stopped him. “I accept you apology, but only if you accept mine too.”

 

They met eyes. “Of course I do.” Keith stuck out his hand, “Truce?”

 

“How about an official do over?”

 

Keith smiled, “Yeah, I’d like that.” He sat back down next to Lance and they watched the silent world outside. An idea popped into Keith’s head. “You said this is your first time seeing snow?” Lance nodded. “Wanna go outside then?”

 

His eyes widened. “For real? We won’t get in trouble?”

 

Standing up Keith shrugged. “Who’s going to care about two crazy students running around in the snow in the middle of the night?”

 

“Good point.”

 

Keith twisted his hands awkwardly. “Ok, well. Put on something warmer and meet me by the elevator?”

 

“Yeah, ok. Sure.” Lance stood and brushed by Keith and moved down the hall to his room. He fought back some weird reaction from his body as Lance walked by. “ _Come on Keith, get a grip.”_ Keith whispered to himself. Shaking his head he dashed to his room and put on pants, boots and a heavier jacket. Lance was already waiting by the elevator when Keith got there.

 

Keith stepped outside first and glanced behind to see Lance standing uncertainly in the doorway. “Come on, its just snow.”

 

Lance glared at him. “Yeah, I know Mullet. Keep in mind I’ve never _seen_ it before.”

 

Keith blinked a few times. “Did you just call me Mullet?”

 

“Of course I did. You have a full on mullet, Mullet.”

 

“I do not.” Keith said, he yanked at his hair and pulled up his hood in embarrassment.

 

Lance laughed as he stepped outside fully. “Don’t be embarrassed. In a weird way it works on you.”

 

He had to walk a little further away so Lance wouldn’t see the blush on his face. Lance did fall silent so Keith turned around to see what was keeping him. He was standing just outside the door, his face upturned to the sky. His eyes were closed and he let the snow fall on his face and melt into tiny specks of water. “Man, this is cool.” He said to no one in particular.

 

A smile crept on to Keith’s face, but only because Lance wasn’t looking at him. An evil idea popped into his head and he stooped down to gather up a mound of snow in his hand. Unfortunately before he could carry out his master plan Lance opened his eyes to look at him. “Wow, were you really going to ambush me with a snowball while I’m trying to enjoy my first time in the snow?”

 

“Maybe?” Keith grinned a little sheepishly. Lance bent down to make his own snowball and Keith saw his chance. He chucked the snowball at Lance with all his might and hit him squarely in the chest.

 

“Oh come on!” He laughed, “It is so on, Mullet!” Lance threw his snowball and it just grazed Keith’s leg.

 

“That’s the best you’ve got, Sharpshooter?”

 

“That’s a low blow!” Lance called from where he had taken cover behind a tree. The next ten minutes or so were filled with laughter and name calling and taunting. Eventually out of breath and fingers numb Lance held up his hands in defeat. “Ok, ok! Truce, I call for a truce!”

 

Keith dropped the snowball he had been about to throw and jogged over to where Lance had dropped into the snow. He lay on his back, letting snow gather around him. Keith decided to join him on the ground, closing his eyes as well.

 

It stayed quiet for a long time. Lance finally sat up and brushed snow from his shoulders. “Damn I’m cold.” His teeth chattered.

 

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Keith trudged his way to the front doors of the school. Once inside they stopped their boots off and rubbed their hands together to gain some feeling back into their fingers.

 

“Hey Keith?”

 

“Yeah Lance?”

 

“Thanks for this, I know you didn’t mean any harm earlier, just… thanks I guess.” He smiled at Keith and made his way to elevator. “You coming up?”

 

“In a minute.” He watched the doors of the elevator slide shut and he closed his eyes and leaned up against the wall. He shouldn’t be thinking about the color of Lance’s eyes, or his smile when he hit Keith just right with a snowball. Or how he was willing to open up to Keith, even just a little bit. But most of all, he really shouldn’t be thinking about the way his voice sounded when he thanked Keith, or the happiness in his face. “ _You’ve really done it now Keith.”_ He thought miserably to himself as he called the elevator back down to the first floor.

 

***

The rain had finally let up by the time Lance got home from work. He was exhausted; sorting through Keith’s things at work had taken more of an emotional toll than he thought it would. Flicking on lights and kicking off his shoes he set his take out down on the counter and drummed his fingers lightly on the countertop.

 

He glanced at his watch. Hunk would be here any minute. He had actually convinced Allura to go home early and eat something instead of burying herself deeper into Blue’s mysteries. Lance steeled himself and turned around to face the mess on the floor behind him. He hadn’t bothered to pick up any of the newspaper clippings or paper or string that littered the floor.

 

Hunk told him he needed to put it behind him. Lance agreed. Everyone thought he was taking a step in the right direction. “A path toward healing.” Shiro had said.

 

He hadn’t told anyone about the messages though. _He_ knew that it had come from Keith. A deep gut instinct told him that it just had to be Keith. No one else had ever called him Sharpshooter. _Ever._ That simple five-word message had given him more hope than he had felt in the last three years.

 

He did have to keep the messages a secret. It would kill him to keep this from friends; he knew that they wanted to know what happened to Keith just as much as he did. But they already thought the wall was too much for his mental state to handle. If they knew about these messages they would try to convince him that it was prank that he was going off the deep end again.

 

A knock on the door pulled Lance from the dark hole of his mind. Slugging over to the door he opened it to Hunk’s worried smile. “Hey buddy. I brought some iced coffee. Your favorite.” He offered up the cup with a swirl of whipped cream to his friend.

 

“Thanks.” Lance smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He let Hunk into the apartment and wearily eyed the mess on the floor.

 

Hunk rung his hands together and picked up a box from the couch. “You ready to do this?”

 

“No.” Came a shaky whisper. “But I need to do this.” Hunk walked over to his friend and wrapped him tightly in his arms.

 

“I know this isn’t going to solve everything, but it might take a weight off your chest.”

 

Lance pushed away and started to grab things off the floor. “I really hope so.” Hunk joined him in winding up the yards of red string on the floor and still connected to the wall. Lance tried not to look at the article stubs but words kept flashing out at him.

 

_Missing. Disappeared. Six Months. 1 Year._

 

With a shaking hand Lance realized he had picked up Keith’s missing persons photo that he had registered three years ago. The lump in his throat grew dangerously and his heart rate tripled. No matter how hard he tried he would never forget the day Keith went missing.

 

_There hadn’t been anything special about that day. He and Keith had woken up, taken a shower together. Had a cup of coffee. Read the morning paper. “Are you sure you still have to go out of town today?” Lance had asked as he rinsed out their cups to put in the dishwasher._

_“Yeah, Allura is sending me on another fools errand. She think’s it will be the key to unlocking Red.” His forehead crinkled at the thought of Red._

_Lance walked over to him and brushed his hair out his eyes. “Babe. You’re going to get premature wrinkles with expressions like that.”_

_Keith mustered a short grin. “I know I just want to get Voltron working. It would help so many people.”_

_“I know it will,” He threaded his arms around Keith’s waist, “But it might take some time,” He tapped the spot on Keith’s ribs, “Patience yields focus.”_

_The violet eyes softened. “God I love you. Have I told you that lately?”_

_“Hmm. I don’t think so. Say it again?”_

_Keith leaned in and teased his nose along Lance’s jaw. “I love you.”_

_“And again?”_

_He was answered with a dark chuckle. Lance felt Keith gently bit his earlobe, and then push away to look into his eyes. “I love you. More than you’ll ever know.”_

_Lance felt his eyes go misty. “Right back at ya Mullet.” Keith laughed fully and pulled Lance into a kiss. He glanced at his watch and pulled his hair off his neck._

_“I better get going. I don’t want to get stuck in the morning rush. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to work?”_

_“I’m fine. It’s a nice morning, I want to walk before the rainy season kicks in.”_

_“Hey, whatever you want.” Keith paused at the doorway. “I’ll be back by eight at the latest.”_

_Lance glanced up briefly as he pulled his jacket on. “Ok. See you soon.” Keith grinned and closed the door. “Be safe!” He called after him._

_“No promises!”_

 

_The workday passed by unbearable slow. There wasn’t much to do with Voltron until they could figure out why Blue and Red were staying locked away. On his way home from work Lance decided to stop by the farmers market and pick up everything for Keith’s favorite meal. It would be nice to surprise him._

_He spent a few hours getting everything ready and he was sitting at the candlelit table at eight, occasionally glancing at his watch. By eight thirty he was a little annoyed, the food had gotten cold. By nine he was anxious. By nine thirty he was worried and by ten he was frantic._

_He had called Keith’s communicator at least twenty times with no answer. Called the business Keith had visited only be reassured Keith had left hours ago. He called everyone Keith knew and they all hadn’t heard from him all day. At ten thirty he called the police. They checked any possible route Keith could have taken but there weren’t any accidents to report._

_At seven the next morning they filed a missing persons report and Lance was beside himself. He lost count of the messages and calls he had sent, all with no answer. All his friends were gathered in his apartment trying to get him eat, drink, or even talk. But he couldn’t. Not when Keith was out there. Not with Keith just_ gone.

“Lance? Lance!” Hunk shook at his shoulder.

 

He blinked several times to bring Hunk’s worried face into focus. “I lost you there for a second buddy. You ok?”

 

Lance realized he was still clutching the missing persons report in his hands. “Yeah, yeah sorry. These all just bring back awful memories.” Hunk gently pried the piece of paper out of Lance’s hands. He didn’t say anything more, just patted Lance on the back and went back to sorting through all the papers.

 

Hours later the wall that had been cluttered for three years was finally clean and open. The only thing Lance asked that they keep were all the numbers to the private detective agencies he had worked with right after Keith’s disappearance. “You never know,” he had said, “I still might get a call one of these days.”

 

Hunk reheated the takeout and they had sat down to watch some stupid TV show they both knew Lance wouldn’t pay attention to. After a while Hunk gathered up his things and left, but not before he gave Lance another long and powerful hug.

 

Once he was gone Lance picked up his communicator and absentmindedly scrolled through a few things. He had a couple emails to check, and a new message. He must not have noticed it when he was cleaning things up. Heart in his throat he opened it up. It was from the same blocked number as before. This time the message made his heart stop.

 

_Altea Inc. and Voltron are in danger. I can help, but I need you to trust me._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup friends, guess who got extremely stressed and wrote this entire chapter in one sitting whilst ignoring all my other problems? Thats right, this pile of garbage right here. In all honesty I really liked how this chapter turned out, I got a lot more set up going on. 
> 
> I'm not sure when they next chapter will be ready but I've started writing it!


	5. Making Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, first off, I am sorry this chapter is so much shorter than the others. I promise the next one will be a lot longer!

_Just tell me what I need to do._

A new message flashed across the screen of Keith’s communicator. Despite the precarious situation he and his loved ones were in, he could always trust Lance.

 

“What’s that smile for?” Shay glared from the tiny kitchen.

 

He shrugged. “Lance.”

 

“Oh so he did respond to that message? That’s a lot of blind faith to put in any situation. How can he be positive its even you?”

 

Again Keith shrugged. “We trust each other. We have for a long time.”

 

Shay narrowed her eyes but dropped the subject. “I still don’t know how you are going to help both Altea Inc. and Thace without him figuring it out. He wants to keep an eye on the company, not directly interfere with what they are doing with Voltron.”

 

“You saw what’s been happening! First Lotor starts pestering the company after _years_ of silence from Galra Tech. and the same day Haggar shows up? They are pushing for something, and it can’t be good.”

 

“So how is Lance going to help?”

 

Keith hummed in thought. “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll figure out something.”

 

“There you go, charging headlong into a plan you haven’t stopped to conceive yet.”

 

He ran a hand through his hair in irritation. “Say what you want but the endgame is to get rid of Galra Tech. once and for all, I’m just speeding along the process.”

 

Shay fell quiet after that. Keith picked his communicator back up and was fiddling around with new message ideas when the door to the basement he and Shay lived in started to rattle open. Shay immediately shot to attention and Keith hastily hid the communicator where no one would find it. Thace and Ulaz walked through the door, expressions grim.

 

“We weren’t expecting you until the morning.” Shay quipped, crossing her arms across her chest.

 

Thace glared. “You reported seeing Haggar today. We can’t take that new information lightly.”

 

“Thace is right, we haven’t seen or heard a trace from her since before Keith was captured. This has to mean something.” Ulaz offered quietly.

 

The two older men slid deeper into the room, shutting the door quietly behind them. Keith didn’t know much about Thace and Ulaz’s background other than they had been working together since they were teenagers. They were practically inseparable now, what and with their shared goal of ending Galra Tech.

 

Both he and Shay knew there was something much deeper to their relationship, but they knew they weren’t likely to figure out what it was until Zarkon was gone for good.

 

“Are you certain it was just Haggar you saw at Galra Tech this morning?” Ulaz asked tightly. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked between Keith and Shay. His blue eyes pierced into Keith’s.

 

Ulaz was just a hair shorter than Thace, and his hair was still black whereas Thace’s was starting to gray. Though Thace seemed to be the more stern of the two in tough situations Ulaz would become something to fear.

 

“I’m positive,” Keith replied, “When I worked at Altea Haggar only showed up with Zarkon one time. She never said anything, just stood there.”

 

Thace and Ulaz exchanged a quick look. “Her arrival could mean a number of things. As we know she was on the original team with Zarkon and Alfor when Voltron was just a dream. She might know some crucial information that could help to forward Zarkon’s plans.” Thace said darkly.

 

Shay chuckled lightly and hopped up on the counter and crossed one leg over the other. “Either that he just wanted to have coffee with his ex-wife.”

 

Ulaz glared and shook his head. “I suppose so. But the timing of her arrival is suspicious.”

 

Keith glared at his black combat boots. “Even with Haggar here now, Zarkon is still years behind Altea in development. And Galra Tech has never been able to hack into Voltron’s systems. They tried in the past but the security Alfor developed to protect it is bulletproof. I wouldn’t doubt that Allura and Shiro beefed it up even more in the past couple of years.”

 

“Good point.” Shay added.

 

Silence fell over the group as the mulled over what to do next. Of course Thace and Ulaz had no idea that Keith was planning on getting Lance’s help from the inside. It would difficult to keep this a secret though.

 

The information he had to give Lance needed to be enough to protect everyone without tipping off to the outside world that there were precautions being taken.

 

And even if Lance believes that he is talking to Keith, he imagined the others at Altea would be quick to discourage him. From everything Keith had seen in the past couple of weeks he could tell his friends were trying to get Lance to move on.

 

_“Which he probably should have done a long time ago,”_ Keith thought bitterly.

 

“You look like you have a lot on your mind, Keith.” Thace said sternly.

 

His head shot up and black hair fell into his eyes. “Yeah,” He brushed the hair away, “Sorry. Its just a lot to take in.”

 

Ulaz walked over to him and placed on his shoulder. “From the second Thace and I rescued you last year we knew this would difficult for you. You have such a close personal connection to everyone at Altea. But you have to keep the mission in mind. The best way to protect your friends is to trust us, and our process.” Ulaz’s eyes softened a bit, “You _will_ get Lance back. That I can promise you.”

 

Keith mustered a small smile and nodded tightly.

 

Shay watched the exchange carefully. It was interesting that Ulaz would bring up Lance at all; usually he and Thace avoided the topic like the plague. They were always worried about Keith’s personal feelings getting in the way of their work. _“But,”_ She thought, “ _It is a good way of motivating Keith. The only thing he cares about anymore is Lance.”_

“I’ll go do some reconnaissance at Galra Tech for the rest of the day.” Thace said, rubbing his chin. “I’ll see if I can follow Haggar back to wherever she is staying.”

 

Ulaz nodded and headed for the door. “We’ll see you two again in the morning. We’ll meet at the building across from Galra Tech at 8 A.M.”

 

Thace nodded in agreement and followed his partner out the door.

 

Shay and Keith sat in silence for a moment longer. “I wonder what that was all about?” Shay asked curiously.

 

Keith watched the door. “I have no idea. Its not like we came up with a plan or a conclusion to anything.”

 

“They probably just wanted to keep an eye on us.”

 

“You mean me.” Keith said darkly as he went to retrieve his communicator.

 

“How smart you are Keith.” Shay said sarcastically. “You’re just lucky they have no idea about that little communicator.

 

“If this all works out the way I want it to they’ll thank me in the end.”

 

Keith closed the door to his “room” and heard Shay call through the door, “Sure. Whatever you say Mr. Compulsive.” Keith rolled his eyes and dropped down on his bed and fired off another message.

 

***

Ever since he and Keith had bonded that snowy night Lance felt a little better. Though he was still constantly on edge anytime he had to go to simulation class. He and Keith hadn’t had to fly together recently but he knew that day would come quicker than he wanted. It wasn’t that he hated Keith or anything, but he still made him just a little nervous.

 

Keith was just so, _intense._ He was always quiet, and Lance had really only seen him smile that night out in the snow. It seemed that the only people that could really make Keith laugh or smile were Shiro or Matt. Which made sense in that Keith and Shiro were related and Matt had known Shiro since they were like, 8.

 

Plus he just seemed really anxious around Lance. Like if he said the wrong thing Lance would explode and never talk to him again. Lance wished he were as carefree the night of the snowball fight all the time. It was getting a little frustrating dealing with Keith walking on eggshells around him.

 

Lance sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck. He was almost elbow deep in homework and all he wanted to do was go join Hunk in the lounge and watch movies. But if he didn’t get ready for his written flight exam he knew he would fail.

 

He stretched his arms over his head and took a couple of deep breaths. Rolling his neck he was startled to hear a couple cracks. Glancing at the clock he realized he had been at it for a lot longer than he thought. He started studying after his last class at 4 and it almost 8. Looks like he forgot to eat, again.

 

Just as he was about to get up and hunt down something to snack on a knock sounded at his door. Getting up to stretch his legs he went and answered it, expecting Pidge or maybe even Rolo. Rolo had been trying to get closer to Lance in the past couple of weeks and Lance still wasn’t sure how to feel about the guy.

 

But when he opened the door he was surprised to find a sheepish looking Keith. “Hey.” He said quickly, offering a brown sack. “I noticed you weren’t at dinner and I just ran into Hunk, he said you were holed up studying. I figured you might want something to eat.”

 

Lance stared at the boy in his doorway for a moment. A blush had crept up Keith’s ears. _“Huh. Kinda cute.”_ Lance shook himself, “Thanks Mullet.” He grinned. He took the sack and glanced down at his socks. “Do you wanna come in for a bit? I needed to take a break anyways.”

 

Keith’s violet eyes widened just the slightest bit. “Um, yeah. Sure. I don’t wanna bother you.”

 

Lance smiled again. “You won’t be. Come on in. Sorry it’s kinda messy in here right now.” Lance moved over to his desk and closed his textbooks and straightened up his notes. “Hunk and I have been too busy to really keep this place clean.”

 

“I don’t mind. Rolo is one of the messiest human beings I’ve ever seen.” Keith chuckled. He leaned up against Hunk’s desk and crossed his arms. “He didn’t do laundry until the week long break a while back.”

 

Lance laughed and opened up the sack. An energy drink, some chips, cookies and an apple. He cracked open the energy drink and downed about half of it in one swallow. Keith laughed and quirked a brow, “That tired, huh?”

 

Nodding Lance opened up the chips and plopped on his bed. “Come share these with me.” He glanced over at Keith and waggled the bag around.

 

“I ate dinner though…”

 

It was Lance’s turn to raise a brow. “Get your ass over here and share these chips.” Keith watched him for a tense moment and joined Lance on his bed and stuck his hand in the bag.

 

“What are you studying for anyways?”

 

“The written flight exam.”

 

“You’ve been studying for the written exam this whole time?” Again Lance raised a brow. “Come on, Lance. When it comes to explaining how to fly stuff you are the smartest in the class. You don’t need to study for a test like that.”

 

Lance watched Keith carefully. “I mean I guess, I just… I feel like if I don’t study then I’ll fail the whole thing and get kicked out of the class. I don’t know what else I would study here if it wasn’t flying.” Lance felt his hand start to shake and he clenched one of his fists.

 

Keith noticed and slid his eyes around the room, looking at the posters and other pictures Hunk and Lance had scattered around their room. He noticed one picture hung just above Lance’s bed. Reaching over Lance he tapped it lightly saying, “Tell me about this picture.”

 

Lance grinned and popped another chip in his mouth. That was the day Hunk and I found out we both got accepted to the Garrison. My family freaked out and my oldest brother surprised my whole family by coming home for the first time since my dad’s funeral. We went out to my favorite restaurant to celebrate.” He carefully peeled the picture off the wall and handed it to Keith. “Hunk and his mom’s came to join us too.”

 

Keith smiled at the picture of Lance and Hunk beaming into the camera, and what he assumed to be Lance’s mom and Hunk’s moms behind them. They were each holding up a huge chocolate chip cookie with the words “Kick ass at The Garrison” written in frosting. “Who got the cookies?” Keith asked, handing the picture back.

 

“My older brother did. My mom nearly had a heart attack.” Lance smiled fondly at the memory. Keith also noticed the other boys hands had stopped shaking. “It was a fun night. And one of the biggest douchebags that had always made fun of Hunk and I came into the restaurant as we were leaving, so we got to rub our acceptance into his face.”

 

“People made fun of you and Hunk?” Keith asked, handing Lance the package of cookies.

 

Lance ripped it open and absentmindedly handed one to Keith. “Yeah. I mean I had issues growing up, so I got made fun of a lot then too. But when Hunk and I started taking college level classes and getting involved in like, every fucking club in school people noticed. When they found out we were trying to get into the Garrison they put us down a lot.”

 

“How so? If you don’t mind me asking.”

 

Lance leaned his head against the wall and turned to face Keith, a grim smile on his face. “Just that we were stupid and worthless and there was no way a school like this would ever accept a kid with two moms and…” Lance’s voice trailed away and he looked down at his hands.

 

Keith waited quietly; he figured Lance would continue if he wanted to. “And some gay freak that had to go to therapy.” Keith felt his heart stutter to a stop. Lance noticed his expression and rolled his eyes. “I did have to go to therapy a lot as a kid but I’m not gay.” Just as Keith’s heart leapt in his chest it crashed back down to his toes. “I’m bi.” Lance said softly, shoving a cookie in his mouth.

 

“You are?” Keith asked as his headshot up. He noticed Lance’s expression and cringed. “Sorry that was weird.”

 

“Na man, you’re good. And yeah I am. Came out to my family a couple weeks before I came here.”

 

Keith swallowed thickly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, power to you.”

 

He heard Lance laugh lightly. It was horribly silent for a long minute. “Sorry, that was probably too much information.”

 

Keith had to laugh, “No, no its ok. I’m just a little surprised is all.”

 

“Wouldn’t have pinned me as the bi type?” Lance asked drily.

 

“Nope. But do you pin me as the gay type?” Keith asked a little nervously. Lance glanced up and met his eyes.

 

“You’re gay?”

 

Keith felt a blush crawl up his neck. “Yeah,” He found that he couldn’t meet Lance’s intense gaze. “If that’s weird I can go…” He started to get off the bed but stopped when Lance grabbed his wrist.

 

“Keith,” There was a grin in his voice, “Its ok.” He waited until Keith met his eyes again and offered his fist. Keith bumped his fist to Lance’s lightly, “Thanks for telling me.”

 

Keith settled back onto Lance’s bed and the boys stayed quiet for a bit. “Hey Keith?”

 

“Yeah Lance?”

 

“Its just that, well, you don’t need to walk on eggshells around me anymore.”

 

Keith glared slightly, “How do you mean?”

 

“Ever since we fought in the simulator it seems like you are scared of saying the wrong thing again. But we’re friends now, if you say something that hurts or brings up bad memories I’ll let you know ok? You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

 

Keith watched Lance with wide eyes. “Um, ok? I mean sure.”

 

Lance laughed at the look on Keith’s face. “Man, you have no perception of social cues. Let’s watch a movie or something.” He hopped of the bed and rummaged around for his laptop.

 

“What do you mean, no perception of social cues?” Keith asked, a slight hint of irritation in his voice.

 

“What I mean, Mullet, is that you are socially stunted.”

 

Keith huffed. “I am not.”

 

“Sure you aren’t Mullet.”

 

***

Matt and Shiro walked into Altea Inc. on a sunny morning holding hands. They noticed Lance’s car in the parking lot already and exchanged a careful glance. Matt took a sip of his coffee. “I wonder if he’s working on Red or Blue.”

 

Shiro rubbed his free hand through his hair. “Probably Red. Pidge said she’d help with some of Blue’s data streams in her free time so that took a little bit of his workload off his shoulders.”

 

Matt nodded and leaned his head on Shiro’s shoulder for a moment. “I just hope he doesn’t run himself into the ground again.”

 

“I’m sure he won’t, we’re all watching him better this time around. And I think he finally understands the support system he has.” Shiro reached over Matt’s head to open the door for his boyfriend. They had been dating for about four years now, and as Shiro watched Matt shake his hair out and hang up his jacket he had to wonder what took him so long to wise up and realize Matt was everything he wanted. Matt noticed him staring and smiled softly at him and headed to desk/office. Shiro took his own jacket off and walked up to Matt’s desk. “What do you say I take you out for dinner tonight?”

 

Matt quirked a brow and smirked, “My, my, what’s the occasion Mr. Shirogane?”

 

Shiro gently touched the scar on Matt’s cheek, “Just because I love you and haven’t treated you to something nice in a while.”

 

Matt held Shiro’s hand to his cheek for a moment. “I love you too, you idiot. Now get to work.” Shiro grinned and kissed Matt’s head and walked further into the building. Just as he had guessed Lance was sitting in Keith’s office, glasses perched on his nose as he squinted at the holoscreen.

 

He knocked lightly on the doorframe. “Morning Lance.”

 

Lance looked up and smiled. “Hey Shiro. I just wanted to get a head start this morning.” He pushed his glasses further up his nose. “I know Allura is going to get busy as soon as she gets in, I wanted to have a little progress to show her.”

 

“She’ll appreciate it. Just don’t work yourself too hard now.”

 

Lance sighed. “I won’t, I just… I feel like I need to do this.”

 

“For Keith?”

 

Lance answered with a sad smile. “Yeah, for Keith. But also for Altea Inc. and for Alfor and for everyone else working here. Three years is a long time to sit around on a project, it’s about time we get this thing done.”

 

Shiro watched the younger man with a glint in his eye. As he watched Lance talk he didn’t really noticed any sign of fatigue yet, other than some darkness under his eyes. He supposed that was common for someone that worked under Allura though. She had been driving everyone at the company dry lately. He made a mental note to tell everyone else to keep an eye on Lance; they didn’t want a repeat of what happened about a year after Keith had disappeared. Lance had spent a week in the hospital, and it had been enough to scare everyone in the office.

 

Shiro forced his thoughts back to the present and smiled at Lance. “Just let us know if you need any help. With anything, ok?”

 

“Sure thing Shirogane.” Shiro rolled his eyes and moved away from the office. Lance only called him Shirogane was he was in a good mood and felt like teasing people. It was nice to see that side of Lance again, god knows how long it had been since Lance cracked a joke and made everyone laugh.

 

Back in Keith’s office Lance picked apart Red’s data streams in an attempt to understand the lion. Red was the most stubborn out of all of them, probably because he had bonded so closely with Alfor and when he passed Red refused to open up to anyone else besides Keith. Lance was only able to access any of these data streams because Red understood there was a bond between Keith and Lance that no one else at Altea Inc. understood. Red also knew Keith was gone, so the lion was at least giving Lance a chance.

 

No one really could grasp why Blue was being so difficult either. In fact Lance had been close to cracking her open right before Keith disappeared, but about a month after that Blue had closed up again, throwing _months_ of progress down the drain. But of course he hadn’t really been in the condition to try and operate Blue anyways.

 

As Lance moved figures and numbers around the screen a small beeping sound came from the holoscreen. He beamed once he realized he had unlocked one more stream. Of course he was nowhere close to being finished, but it was a step in the right direction. He leaned back in Keith’s chair and sighed. He took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes. He knew the next couple of months would be difficult, what with trying to unlock both Red and Blue. But he was doing it for Keith. He did every for Keith now days.

 

***

 

The day dragged on and Lance felt like his brain had melted in his head by the time he finally trudged home. Taking off his sweatshirt and jeans and changing into something more comfortable he searched through his fridge until he found some leftovers to heat up.

 

Plopping down on the couch he flipped on the holoscreen and found a music station. He settled on listening to some mellow stuff by Sleeping At Last. He usually never paid any attention to what he was listening to but he hated sitting in a silent apartment.

 

He ate his food but still didn’t taste anything. He tried to think of the last time he actually tasted anything.

 

As Lance washed his dishes he heard his communicator ding. He dried off his hands and wandered back into the living room where he had left the device. His heart tensed. Another messaged from the same blocked number.

 

_Haggar is back. I don’t know why yet, but you need to be careful. I’ll try to keep you updated._

_Galra Tech is going to try something big_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup friends. I am so sorry this chapter took so long to get here, life got really crazy all of a sudden and I didn't have time to sit down and write until now. I promise the next chapter will be here sooner and it will be a lot longer! Until next time friends!


	6. Delicate Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is SUPER domestic, I wanted to give you guys a glimpse into my characters lives and what they do outside of work. (Also, beware of Rolo)

“Keith, can I ask you something?” Rolo asked one night. Keith looked at his roommate with a quirked brow. He and Rolo didn’t really _talk._ Sure, they lived in the same space but they weren’t really friends either. Keith figured he wanted food or clothes or help with homework. He wasn’t prepared for what Rolo asked him.

 

“What’s up?” Keith pulled a textbook out of his backpack and settled at his desk, then turned to face his roommate.

 

Rolo pulled his long shaggy blond hair off his neck and into a low ponytail. His light green snapped a little curiously. “What do you think of Lance?”

 

Keith opened his mouth but paused. “What do you mean?”

 

Rolo sighed and flopped down on his bed. “I’ve seen you two hang out before. And we talk in class sometimes. I just wanted to know what you think of him.” Rolo continued to stare at the ceiling. He fiddled with his fingers and waited for Keith to answer.

 

“He’s cool. And we don’t hang out that often.” Keith picked up a pencil and pushed the tip of the lead into his thumb.

 

There was a chuckle from the other side of the room. “Oh come on Keith,” Rolo pushed up on one elbow and leveled his roommate with an intense stare. “Ever since you two bombed the simulator you’ve practically walked on knives to be able to be friends with him.”

 

Keith glared at Rolo for a moment. “You don’t know the full story. Or his situation.”

 

A wicked smile spread across Rolo’s face. “Ah, a broken one.” He dropped back onto the bed, “Even better.”

 

“What do you mean?” A hint of irritation and panic rose in Keith’s voice.

 

“What I mean, oh stoic roommate, is that I like Lance. I’ve had my eye on him since orientation day.”

 

Keith felt his mouth drop open. “You’re gay?”

 

“No. I’m pan. Do you know if Lance,”

 

Keith cut him off. “I don’t think Lance swings that way man.” Something did catch in Keith’s throat as he told the lie. Sure Lance had come out to him as bi a couple of weeks ago, but it wasn’t a secret he could tell just anyone. Especially Rolo. There was just something about him that Keith didn’t like. He was shifty, or something.

 

“You could find out for me. Since you two are so buddy-buddy now. Think of it as a favor.”

 

“A favor for what?” Keith turned his back on Rolo and tried to focus on his homework.

 

He heard Rolo get off his bed and head to the door. “I’m not sure yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.” The door closed behind him and Keith dropped his face into his hands. Why was he getting jealous? He had no reason to. Sure he liked Lance, but not like _that_ , right?

 

No, of course he didn’t. Lance was just a friend. And besides, he would never go for someone like Keith anyways. What would he want with a hotheaded orphan with abandonment issues? “Get a grip, Keith.” He mumbled out loud. “Lance is too good for you anyways.”

 

***

Pidge walked through the halls of the Garrison, on the hunt for her friends. They had all been so busy preparing for midterms that they had hardly seen each other lately. Pidge did have one class with Hunk and he told her that Lance was struggling. Hunk said he got that way in high school too; tests had always stressed him out.

 

Pidge poked her head into the common room near Lance and Hunk’s room and was glad to find the two hunched over notebooks and laptops. “How can you guys still be using laptops? Holoscreens are all the rage now, you know?” She joked.

 

Hunk glanced up and smiled. “Hey Pidge. We’re about ready to wrap up.”

 

“Sweet.” She plopped on a fluffy beanbag and blew her bangs out of her eyes. “I’m desperate to get off this campus.”

 

“I know the feeling.” Hunk said as he turned back to his notes. He made a finally few markups and closed his book. “Ready to go Lance?”

 

He shrugged. “I don’t know man, I might stay here, I really need to get this concept down.”

 

“Oh no you don’t.” Matt said as he walked into the common room. “We’re all going out for ice cream and a movie and if we have to drag you out of here we will.”

 

Shiro and Keith followed close behind Matt. “He’s right you know,” Shiro said laughing, “He did the same thing to me our first year here too. Trust me, too much cramming can set you back.”

 

Pidge hopped up off the beanbag to hug her brother. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” Matt grinned and ruffled her hair.

 

“Alright guys, lets go. Movie starts at 7 and if we hurry we can still get ice cream before we go.” Matt ushered Shiro, Pidge and Hunk out the door. Lance sighed heavily and started to gather his things. Keith watched Lance for a moment and walked over to the table where he was sitting.

 

He picked up some of Lance’s books and smiled at him. “Come on, I promise the ice cream won’t kill you.”

 

Reluctantly Lance grinned. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I know, I’m just, kinda freaking out over all these tests.” He and Keith walked back to Lance’s room to drop everything off. Lance grabbed a black hoodie off his bed and pulled it over his head. Keith caught the slightest glimpse of Lance’s stomach as he pulled his arms over his head. Blushing he headed for the door.

 

“Come on, let’s go catch up to the others.”

 

***

Twenty minutes later the group piled out of Shiro’s car and headed into an ice cream shop. The Garrison sat alone on its grounds but they had to build close to a town for emergency supplies and access to a hospital. By this point of locals of the town were used to Garrison students coming on weekends to get off campus for a couple hours.

 

“You guys are gunna love this place, Shiro have been coming here since we started at the Garrison.” Matt held open the door for everyone. Pidge and Hunk lead the charge into the store, a laughing Matt and Shiro behind them. Keith trailed behind and noticed Lance wasn’t behind him. Glancing around he saw Lance sitting on the curb, staring up at the night sky.

 

“Lance,” He joined him on the curb, “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing is wrong, I’m just… I need a second to breathe.”

 

Keith nodded and sat in the quiet with Lance. Other than the occasional car driving by the only sounds were that of the wind rustling through the trees. Lance closed his eyes and turned his face up to the night sky. “Back home you can always hear the ocean. I used to take walks down by the beach almost every night.”

 

“You miss it, don’t you?” Keith felt his face soften as he turned to face Lance.

 

Lance opened his eyes and blinked up at the stars. “Yeah I do. But I mean, going to school at the Garrison? Makes it all worth it. I want to make my family proud.”

 

“I know you will.”

 

Lance glanced over at Keith and smiled. He pushed his shoulder against Keith’s in a mock push. “Thanks Mullet.”

 

The bell above the ice cream shop door tingled open. “You guys coming or what?” Pidge asked them.

 

Lance stood and offered his hand to Keith. “We’re coming Pidge.” Keith took Lance’s hand and pulled himself off the curb. “Let’s go see if that ice cream is as good as Matt says.”

 

Pidge held open the door for the two boys and elbowed Lance in the ribs. “Opf, Pidge what the hell?”

 

She giggled and pointed to where Hunk stood blushing by the counter. Keith looked at Lance and smirked. “He seems to be quite taken with the girl working behind the counter.” Pidge whispered, a shit eating grin lighting up her face. “Wanna go embarrass him?”

 

“Oh Pidge come on, let Hunk have his fun.” Lance whispered back, walking up to the counter.

 

“Oh, you’re all students at the Garrison?” The girl behind the counter asked.

 

Matt nodded and elbowed Shiro. “Yep, Shiro and I are third years and everyone else is a first year.”

 

Shiro looked down at Matt and smiled. “I can introduce everyone. This is my oldest friend, Matt and his little sister Pidge. That’s my cousin Keith over there with the black hair, and these two are Pidge’s friends from high school, Lance and Hunk.”

 

Lance grinned. “Nice to meet you. Hunk and I go way back, don’t we pal?” Lance teased as he draped and arm over Hunk’s shoulders.

 

Hunk blushed and looked down at his hands. “Yep, known each other since we were kids.”

 

The girl smiled and started to ready everyone’s orders. “It’s so cool that you all go to the Garrison. I thought about applying for a while, but I decided to go to the private college here in town. I’m closer to my family’s business that way.”

 

“What’s the family business?” Pidge asked, crossing her arms over the counter and tilting her head to one side.

 

“Technology mostly. Advanced AI and security systems, that kind of thing.” She wrapped her white hair into a tighter bun.

 

Shiro and Matt exchanged a look. “What’s the company name?” Shiro asked.

 

“Altea.” She answered with nonchalance.

 

The group of six all looked at each other with wide eyes. “You’re Alfor’s daughter?” Lance asked in surprise.

 

The girl behind the counter smiled. “Yeah, I am. My names Allura.”

 

***

Hunk struggled to unlock his apartment door with all the bags of groceries he had in his arms. He had hoped Allura would be home by now but it would seem she was still at the office. “ _She is going to run herself dry if she doesn’t let up soon”._ He thought a little bitterly.

 

Once he finally got the door open he set the bags on the counter and shrugged out of his jacket and hung it by the door. Hunk had to hand it to the Pacific Northwest; it was always raining, whether he wanted it to or not.

 

“Hunk?”

 

Hunk spun around, clutching his heart. “Jesus babe, you can’t scare me like that.” Allura laughed and walked up to Hunk and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I didn’t think you were home yet.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.

 

“I got home just a couple minutes ago. I was going to shower, that’s why I locked the door.” She sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’m so tired today.”

 

He watched her carefully for a moment and held her just a bit tighter. “You’ve been pushing too hard at the office. You hardly sleep anymore; you only eat if I force you. Babe I’m worried.”

 

Allura pulled out his arms and sat down at the kitchen table. She rubbed at her forehead with one hand and closed her eyes. “I know, its just… we need to do this. For my father, for Keith. If he were still alive I’m sure Voltron would be up and operational by now.”

 

Hunk moved behind her and pulled her hair back off her neck. He placed a light kiss behind her ear. “Voltron is a technology like the world has never seen. Alfor and Zarkon got incredibly far, that much is true, but you have done more than your father and Zarkon combined. We’ve been able to unlock three lions. That is incredible. But if you keep pushing Blue and Red like this you might risk them closing off further.”

 

Allura grabbed Hunk’s hand and placed it on her shoulder. “Its just so hard to sit and watch Lance struggle like he is. He puts on such a brave front, but he is burying himself at Altea too.”

 

“I’m worried about both of you.” Hunk squatted down so he was eyelevel with Allura. “I think you should take a day or two off. To catch up on sleep and actually eat more than crackers.”

 

She started to protest but Hunk cut her off and moved back to the groceries he had been unpacking. “I already told everyone at the office you won’t be in again until Monday.” He could feel Allura shooting daggers into his back and he turned around to laugh.

 

“I’m the head of the company, I need to be there.”

 

Hunk’s eyes softened. “Allura, I love you. And I’m not the only one worried about you. I know you want to get Voltron operational but I’m positive a few days away will give you a clear head.” He turned back to the bags, “Looking at things with fresh eyes will help.”

 

It was silent in the kitchen save the rain gently pattering on the window. Then Hunk felt his girlfriends arms wrap around his back. “Thank you.” She whispered.

 

Turning so she was pinned against the counter Hunk smiled and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Anything for you.” He kissed her then, to the sound of the rain.

 

***

“Shiro? Have you seen my hairbrush anywhere?” Matt called from their houses bathroom.

 

“You left in the bedroom this morning!” Shiro called from the living room. He was reading a book that Alfor published shortly before his death. He had begun theorizing about an AI even more advanced than Voltron, if such a technology could ever exist. Thumps from the bedroom made him chuckle under his breathe. Matt was extremely gifted in the sciences, but he was of the most dysfunctional human Shiro had ever come in contact with. It was a huge reason Shiro fell in love with him in the first place.

 

Matt soon joined him in the living room, plopping down on the couch and settling his head in Shiro’s lap. He absentmindedly stroked his nonmetal arm through Matt’s damp hair. He glanced down and saw that Matt had his eyes closed and he began to stroke his thumb over one of Shiro’s thighs.

 

“I love days like this.” Matt mumbled softly.

 

“Rainy days?” Shrio smirked. “It was always rains here Matt.”

 

“I know that, the rain relaxes me.” The two men fell quiet then. Shiro continued to stroke Matt’s hair as he stared out a window. Cars passed by, windshield wipers on full force. The bakery across the street was closing up for the day and the owner rain out through the rain to their car. The city seemed to be tucking in for the night.

 

Shiro looked back down to Matt’s face and gently stroked the scar on his cheek. Matt pushed his face deeper into Shiro’s hand. “Thinking about the accident?” He sat up and pushed Shiro’s hair out of his face.

 

He smiled sadly and looked down at his metal arm. “That was years ago Shiro. Why are you thinking about it now?”

 

Shiro paused before answering. “We were in that shuttle with Keith’s parents, sometimes I just feel like I could have done more to help them.”

 

Matt’s eyes softened. “They knew the shuttle was going to crash. If they hadn’t made us bail out when we did we probably would have died too.” Matt’s expression darkened. “We did almost lose you Shiro.”

 

Matt reached up to the scar that ran across his boyfriends nose. “I know we were younger then, but you lost a lot that day too.” Shiro flexed the fist on his metal arm and shrugged.

 

“It still gets to me sometimes.” Shiro looked down at the book in his lap and swallowed heavily. “And now Keith is gone… I can’t protect anyone.”

 

Matt lifted Shiro’s chin and pushed their foreheads together. “Hey. Stop thinking like that. There is nothing you could have done in Keith’s situation. It’s not your fault that he disappeared. It sucks that he is gone, _it really fucking sucks._ But he wouldn’t have wanted you to bury yourself in guilt.”

 

Shiro’s chin quivered and his eyes filled with tears. “Hey,” Matt laughed softly, “Don’t you go crying on me now.”

 

Shiro sighed heavily and wiped his eyes. “I love you, you know that?” He spoke softly. He pushed Matt’s golden blond hair out his hazel eyes and smiled.

 

“Of course I know, you dork.” Matt hoped off the couch. “I’m going to order takeout.” Absentmindedly he wandered over to Shiro and kissed the top of his head. “You want the usual?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Matt wandered into the kitchen and soon Shiro heard him chattering away on the phone. Standing he walked over to the bookcase and pulled a picture down. Matt, Keith and his own face smiled back out at him from the glass. The picture was taken the day Matt and Shiro graduated from the Garrison. Keith’s eyes snapped out at him and Shiro fought back another wave of tears. Shiro gently touched the face behind the frame. “I’m sorry Keith, I wish I could have done right by you.”

 

“Babe! I’m making coffee. Get in here, I miss you.” Matt called teasingly from the kitchen.

 

Sighing heavily Shiro put the picture back in its place and went to join his boyfriend in their kitchen.

 

***

Across town Lance opened his door to find Pidge standing in the doorway, a pizza box in her hands. “Hey.” She said, pushing past him, “I thought you could use some company.”

 

Lance smirked at her back and closed the door to his apartment. “Thanks. I haven’t eaten yet.”

 

“Oh figured.” She pulled her hair into a bun, “You and Allura barely qualify as functioning humans right now.”

 

Lance got some paper plates from the cupboard in the kitchen. “Probably why Hunk’s having Allura take the weekend off.”

 

Pidge took a plate from Lance and opened up the box and dug in. The two sat in silence for a long moment. Pidge glanced around the apartment curiously. “You took down the wall?”

 

She saw Lance’s shoulder tense up. “Yeah I did.” He answered tightly. He noticed the look on Pidge’s face and grimaced. “Sorry.”

 

She shrugged to show no hard feelings. “Hunk helped me do it a couple weeks ago. It was only driving me crazy.”

 

Pidge nodded and grabbed another piece of pizza. “You do seem a little better than usual.”

 

“My doctor upped my prescription for my meds. I sleep a little better now.”

 

“Have you ever thought about moving out of this apartment?”

 

Lance glanced up sharply and glared at his younger friend. “Why would I leave this apartment?”

 

Pidge held up her hands in surrender. “Calm down flyboy, it was just a suggestion. I have an open room at my place after Nyma moved out.”

 

“I can’t leave. This place is all I have left of him.” Lance turned away from Pidge so she wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes. “And what if he comes back? What if he comes back here only to find someone else living here? He could still be out there.” There was no stopping the sobs that shook Lance’s shoulders.

 

“Oh Lance…” Pidge immediately jumped off the couch and wrapped her arms around Lance’s back. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to trigger anything.”

 

“No, no its fine.” Lance heaved between sobs. “Some days are just worse than others.” He pulled away from Pidge and went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face. Looking at the face he saw in the mirror he felt the same bottomlessly empty expression as he did in the months when Keith first disappeared.

 

_“But Keith_ is _alive.”_ Lance thought to himself. _“He’s sending you messages to help with Red. You have to believe he is coming back to you.”_

 

Taking a deep breath Lance joined Pidge out in his living room again. “Sorry about that.” He mumbled quietly.

 

“It was my fault. I’m sorry.” Pidge sat back down next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder and wrapped his hand in her own. “We all know you miss Keith.”

 

Chuckling Lance leaned his head on top of Pidge’s. “Thanks for coming over tonight.” He whispered.

 

“No problem. Always helps to have the opinion of an asexual in times of crisis.”

 

Lance lifted his head and started to laugh. “Was that supposed to make me feel better?”

 

Pidge picked up another piece of pizza. “I mean you’re laughing right?”

 

Shaking his head he turned the holoscreen on and found a movie they could watch.

 

***

The rain had finally died down so Keith decided to go on a long walk. Shay had protested as he walked out of their hideout but he ignored it. Thace and Ulaz had kept them cooped up in that dingy basement for days. He needed the fresh air.

 

He found himself walking in the direction of he and Lance’s apartment so he forced his legs to move in the opposite direction. Seeing him right now would be too much. Soon he found himself on the outskirts of town, near the water tower.

 

Angling his neck up so he could see the top he decided to climb the rusty looking ladder. Everything was still a little slippery from the rain but five minutes later he managed to get to the top.

 

Closing his eyes he let the wind ruffle his hair. He always loved the way the city smelled after a good rain. It washed away all the dirt and trash. Opening his eyes he gazed into the nightlife of the city.

 

Headlights rushed along the freeway, taking countless people to unknown destinations. A plane roared overhead, taking passengers somewhere.

 

He and Lance had always planned on taking a big trip together. Swallowing thickly he let the memory wash over him like a cold shower.

 

_“We should take a trip.” Lance said in bed one night._

_Keith rolled over to face his boyfriend. “What kind of trip?”_

_Lance rolled over to lie on his back and crossed his arms under his head. “I don’t know, anywhere. I’ve never been outside the United States.”_

_“We could go to Europe.” Keith suggested._

_Lance pursed his lips. “What about Korea? You said you and Shiro haven’t been since you were little.”_

_Keith pushed up on one elbow. “You would really want to go to Korea?”_

_Lance turned his head to look into Keith’s eyes. “Yeah. I do. Its part of your heritage. And its not as basic as taking pictures trying to keep The Leaning Tower of Pisa from falling over.”_

_Keith chuckled. “Well, if we go to Korea then we have to go to Cuba.” Keith watched Lance’s eyes widen. He sat up fully in bed and Keith dropped back down to his back._

_“Really?” Lance questioned._

_He grabbed on his hands and kissed it. “Of course. We can’t go to my ancestors country without going to yours.” He smiled and touched Lance’s cheek gently. “Besides, I could finally meet your kick ass grandma, right?”_

_Before he could prepare for it Lance launched on top of Keith and hugged him fiercely, plastering kisses over his neck. “God I love you Mullet.”_

Keith was pulled out of his daze when he heard the ladder of the water tower creaking. “Don’t freak out jackass. Its just me.” Shay grumbled as she pulled herself up onto the walkway.

 

Keith glared. “I thought I told you not to follow me.”

 

Shay joined him at the railing and gazed at the lights of the city. “Hey, I’ve been trapped down in that basement just as long as you. Besides, this is my usual place.”

 

He turned his eyes back out to the city and inhaled deeply. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

 

She shrugged. “No big deal. We’ll be done with this soon enough and then you’ll never have to see me again.”

 

The bitterness in Shay’s voice surprised him. He glanced over at her and studied her profile. He supposed he had never really thought about what they would do once Galra Tech was gone for good. He of course had Lance to go back to, but Galra Tech cronies had killed Shay’s entire family. She didn’t have anyone to go home to anymore. Keith looked down at his hands. “What are you going to do when we defeat Zarkon?”

 

Shay was quiet for a long minute before she answered. “Honestly I don’t think I’ll live through this.” A bitter smile graced her face; “Thace and Ulaz have lost another members of their team before they brought us on. I’ll probably just become another martyr.”

 

Keith stared at her in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

She glared at him. “What?”

 

“You really have that grim of an outlook on the future?”

 

“What’s it to you Kogane? You have your cushy apartment and boyfriend and friends and company to go home to. I don’t have _anyone_ left.”

 

Keith felt anger rise in his throat. “Then that should be all the more reason to want to live!”

 

“Shut up Kogane.”

 

“No!” He put on her shoulder and forced her to face him. “You lost your entire family to Galra Tech.”

 

Shay pushed his hand away. “Like I need to be reminded.”

 

Keith huffed, clearly frustrated. “Do you think your family would want you sitting around waiting for someone to kill you? You’ve told me they wanted you to have a future. And you want to go and throw all of that away?”

 

“You don’t get to talk about my family.” Shay said tightly. Her glare deepened the creases in her forehead.

 

“Then you can’t constantly look down on me for trying to get back to my boyfriend.” Keith spit out.

 

Shay laughed merrily, the sound carrying into the night. “Right, right. I forget Thace and Ulaz’s golden child needs to be coddled, lest he forget just who he is an where he comes from.”

 

Keith opened his mouth to respond but closed it just as quickly. “You know what, Shay? Its no wonder you are so bitter and distant. You decided that your life was worth nothing a long time ago and you aren’t even willing to _try_ and make a better future for yourself.”

 

He stopped and headed back toward the ladder but turned back to face her before climbing down. “So just because you’ve given up on your life, don’t you _dare_ insult me for wanting to get back to mine.” With that he angrily climbed down the ladder, leaving Shay staring into the night.

 

***

“Hey Lance!”

 

Lance glanced up at the sound of his name. He saw Rolo sauntering down the hall toward him.

 

“Hey Rolo.” He went back to the passage he was reading in his advanced micro-mechanics textbook.

 

Rolo pulled up a car next to Lance and sat down on it backwards, arms crossed over the headrest. “Do you ever not have your head buried in a book?” He poked at Lance’s pencil.

 

He turned a page in his book and picked up a highlighter. “When I sleep.” He quipped.

 

Rolo grinned and rested his chin on his crossed arms. “You’re funny Lance. We should hang out more.” Lance was still busy studying so Rolo decided to take the time to drink in the boy. His skin was a little paler from when he first arrived; he supposed not being out in the sun everyday was the cause of that. But Rolo knew Lance would never be pale, and he liked that. His brown hair had grown a little shaggy, hanging into his deep blue eyes.

 

Lance looked up at him and smiled tightly. “I’m pretty busy, but if I have some free time, sure.”

 

He immediately went back to his note taking. Which irritated Rolo. He wasn’t used to being pushed away so fast. _“Lance will be a challenge then. Let the fun begin.”_ Rolo licked his lips and opened his mouth to say more but was interrupted.

 

“Sorry I’m late Lance, that test took longer than I expected.” Keith rushed up to the table, dropping his book bag next to Lance’s. “Oh. Hi Rolo.” He sent his roommate a look.

 

Rolo shrugged back. He noticed Lance looking up at Keith and smiling up at him warmly. “Its ok, I got a head start on the advanced micro-mechanics homework.” He glanced between Keith and Rolo. “You two are roommates right?”

 

Rolo stood. “That would be correct. Though Keith is one of the most boring roommates I’ve ever had.” He leaned in close to Lance’s ear and whispered, “I don’t think he knows how to have _any_ fun.” He winked and walked back down the hallway. Glancing back quickly he saw Lance pound Keith on the shoulder, laughing merrily at something Keith had said. The way Keith was looking at Lance made something twist in Rolo’s stomach. _“Don’t you dare get in my way Kogane. He’s mine.”_

 

Keith watched his roommate retreating down the hallway and rubbed at the shoulder Lance had just punched. “What did Rolo want?”

 

Lance shrugged and handed Keith a highlighter. “He just asked if I ever wanted to hang out.”

 

Lance seemed done with the conversation so Keith let it drop. He couldn’t stop the bitter wave of jealousy that flooded over him. _“Why is Rolo so interested in Lance all of a sudden?”_

 

“Does he even really have any real friends?” Lance asked suddenly, meeting Keith’s gaze.

 

He shrugged lightly and found his advanced micro-mechanics textbook. “We don’t hang out that much. He told me just because we live together it doesn’t mean we have to be friends.”

 

Lance stared at Keith for a long minute. “What?” He asked nervously, “What did I say?”

 

Covering his mouth Lance broke out into a good-natured laugh. “Well,” He said once he finally stopped laughing, “Who wouldn’t want to be friends with you Mullet?”

 

Keith fought down the urge to smile but couldn’t hold back the grin. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that.” He looked down at his textbook.

 

Lance put his hand on top of Keith’s and pretended to faint. “Well what else am I supposed to call you?”

 

“How about my name?” Keith chuckled and ignored the tingles Lance’s skin sent through him.

 

Lance sat back up and tapped his highlighter against his chin in deep thought. “Mullet just suits you so well.” Keith shot him a look. Lance smiled at him and turned a page in his book. “Well you do kinda look like a cool samurai warrior from a movie or something.”

 

“A samurai?”

 

“Well yeah, with the black hair and mysterious attitude.” Lance looked intensely into Keith’s eyes. “And hell man, you even have purple eyes. You’re like a goddamn anime character.”

 

Keith bit back a laugh. “My eyes aren’t purple. They’re violet.”

 

“ _Wow.”_ Lance swooned dramatically, “Violet eyes. Just kidding, now you sound like some high strung southern bell.”

 

Keith blushed. “Lance, come on. We gotta study.”

 

Lance lifted his head to look at his friend. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to tease.”

 

“Its ok. Its just, I’ve never really had a friend do that before.” Keith looked and smiled, and Lance felt his heart clench. “I like it.”

 

Lance tore a piece of notebook paper from his notes and wadded it up and threw it lightly at Keith’s head. “Whatever you say samurai.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Look at this, updating so soon since the last chapter. I'm really depressed right now and I always seem to right more when I'm depressed. Anyways, I hope to have the next chapter out soon! Until next time!


	7. Sun and Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AYEEEE an entire flashback based chapter comin' at ya.

“Lance, midterms are _over_. Why are you still stressed out?” Pidge asked from the chair she was sitting upside down in.

 

Lance sent her a glance and rubbed his eyes. “Because we still have to go to class, and pass the other tests the professors are going to give us.”

 

“You passed all your midterms,” Pidge sat up normally, “With flying colors I might add. So take a break. For like, two seconds.”

 

Lance glared at his younger friend for a bit. Then he shook his head and nodded. “Sorry. I’m letting it all get to me.” Midterms had been over for a week now, and most of the professors had given their students lighter workloads. The Garrison didn’t do big breaks like summer vacation or spring break, they had one weeklong break each semester, but that was it. Though they Lance did have to admit that having a more relaxed week of classes was nice, plus it was one of the only ways they got to relax at this school. Lance glanced up and looked around, “By the way, have you seen Hunk today?”

 

Pidge shook her head. “His last midterm took it out of him. Maybe he’s in your room?”

 

“Yeah, lets go check.” Pidge and Lance left the lounge they had been hanging out in and made their way to Lance and Hunk’s room. Lance gently creaked the door open and stuck his head inside. The room was dark, but Hunk wasn’t inside. Lance pushed the door open all the way and turned on the lights and walked into the room. “I wonder where he’s at.”

 

Just as Pidge was about to suggest to go looking for him Matt popped his head in the door. “There you two are, Hunk is looking for you. We’re down on the first floor.”

 

The two left in the room exchanged a curious look and headed for the elevators. “He must have a plan or something up his sleeve.” Pidge speculated.

 

Lance didn’t say anything. Though he did think he might have an idea of what was going on. When he and Pidge reached the lobby of the building they found Hunk, Matt, Shiro and Rolo waiting for them. “We’re making a trip into town,” Shiro said as he tossed his car keys back and forth between his hands, “Wanna come along?”

 

“After those tests I’d love to be anywhere but these halls.” Pidge stated eagerly.

 

Lance waited until Hunk met his eyes and as soon as they did Hunk blushed furiously. _“Ah I was right,”_ Lance grinned to himself, _“No doubt about it we’re going back to that ice cream place so Hunk can see Allura again.”_ Ever since the group had met Allura Hunk hadn’t been able to stop talking about her. He would keep Lance awake until the wee hours of the morning talking about her.

 

“Are you just interested in her because her father owns the company you’ve wanted to work at since you were like, 11?” Lance asked one night. Rolling over he noticed the clock read 2 A.M. So much for getting a good nights rest.

 

Hunk had sat up and shot his best friend a look. “Of course not!” He twisted his hands together. “She just seems really cool.” He flopped back down on his bed and threw his arms over his head. “I mean, _white hair_ Lance? She’s _stunning.”_

 

Lance chuckled and settled more comfortably into bed. “You got that right buddy. Now get to sleep. We both have 8 A.Ms.”

 

He did have to admit it was nice to see Hunk interested in someone. He had never had much luck with girls in high school, which confused Lance to no end. Hunk was such a genuinely good person, and people like that were rare now days. In fact, Hunk had been the first person Lance had come out to. He was terrified that Hunk might find him gross or leave him behind entirely. But Hunk had looked Lance in the eye and hugged him tightly. “Thanks for telling me buddy.” He had said.

 

They went forward with their lives the same way they had been since they were kids, and Hunk had been with Lance when he came out to his family. He was a constant pillar of support in Lance’s life; anyone would be lucky to call Hunk their own.

 

“Lance, you coming?” Pidge called, dragging Lance’s thoughts back to the present.

 

“Yeah, yeah, settle down Pidge.” She sent him a playful glare and bounced along behind her brother. Everyone piled into Shiro’s car, Shiro and Matt up front, Pidge and Hunk in the middle, and Rolo with Lance in the back. Lance glanced around curiously for a second. “Hey Shiro, where’s Keith?”

 

Shiro turned around to back the car out of the parking lot, “He was feeling a little under the weather. He is resting in his room.”

 

Feeling a little disappointed Lance slouched down in his seat and looked through the window to the top floor of the Garrison. “Maybe I should go check on him.”

 

“You’re already in the car man,” Rolo said casually, throwing an arm over Lance’s shoulders, “He was sleeping when I left anyways.”

 

Lance smiled politely and shrugged away from Rolo’s arm. He didn’t mind the guy, but he seemed a little… intense. Hunk talked about him from time to time so Lance supposed that’s how he scored and invitation to tonight. But it felt weird to have someone else in Keith’s place.

 

The rest of the group was tattering about nonsensical things so Lance leaned his forehead against the window and watched the Garrison disappear behind them. Rolo laughed loudly at something Hunk had said and it grated against Lance’s nerves. He knew Rolo said Keith had been asleep but he pulled out his phone anyway. He fired off a quick text and anxiously awaited a response.

 

_Hey samurai, Shiro said you’re sick. Do you want anything from town?_

A response came a little faster than Lance was expecting.

 

_Yeah I feel like shit. And thanks for the offer but I’m ok_

_Oh come on, are you sure you don’t want like ginger ale or something?_

_Fine, fine. Remember that tea we got from that shop last week?_

_Yep, I’ll get your favorite_

_Thanks Sharpshooter_

Lance felt a grin spread across his face before he could stop it. When he had first met Keith he hadn’t thought they would come to be as good of friends as they are now. But now he couldn’t imagine going through a school day without Keith sending him a sarcastic glance when one of the professors said something dumb in class. They studied together almost constantly and more inside jokes than Lance could keep track of.

 

“Who’s got you grinning like that lover boy?” Rolo asked, snapping Lance away from his phone.

 

“Oh nothing, just checking up on Keith.” Lance turned back to the window and missed the glare that spread across Rolo’s face.

 

Rolo watched as Lance grinned back down at his phone and sake his head as he sent Keith another text. _“Looks like this is going to be more difficult than I thought.”_ Rolo thought bitterly as they drove through the night.

 

***

Keith blew his nose for about the six thousandth that night and rubbed at his head miserably. He didn’t get sick that often but when he did it usually hit him hard and out of nowhere. The headache that started an hour ago just kept getting worse. He knew he would probably have trouble sleeping tonight. That and he was nervous for some reason. All his friends had gone into town and Rolo had managed to snag a place in Shiro’s car. He had come into the room and tore through his closet, throwing shirts and pants and jackets all over the floor.

 

“What are you doing?” Keith asked, thoroughly irritated that he had been woken up.

 

Rolo tossed a glance over his shoulder and smirked at Keith’s bedhead. “I’m going into town tonight. Lance is going to be there, I want to make a good impression. He’s only ever seen me in those ugly ass Garrison uniforms.”

 

“Wait, are you going out with my cousin and his friends?”

 

“Shirogane is your cousin?” Rolo laughed and ignored the question.

 

Keith sat up a little more in bed. “I told you that when we moved in.”

 

“Well then, yeah. Hunk invited me.”

 

“Oh.” Keith plopped back down in bed and tried to ignore the jealously he felt swirling up in his gut. At this point he couldn’t really deny what he had been feeling anymore. He had a serious crush on Lance. And it was a serious problem. Besides Shiro and Matt Lance had become one his closet friends, he didn’t want to screw that up.

 

But lately Rolo seemed to be testing the waters around Lance. He had outright told Keith that he wanted Lance, which worried Keith to no end. He didn’t really like Rolo, he seemed shady, and he knew for a fact that he didn’t have Lance’s feelings playing into the mix.

 

“Well anyways, I’m off.” Rolo stopped at the door and turned to face his roommate. “Oh and don’t worry about your precious Lancey Lance. I’m sure I’ll be able to handle him just fine.” He slammed the door on the way out, leaving Keith feeling panicked and angry.

 

Much to his surprise he heard his phone ding on his nightstand. He felt his heart lift up in his chest when he saw Lance’s name light up the screen. _“He’s actually checking up on me?”_ He thought a little breathlessly.

 

After he was done texting Lance he fell back down in bed and tried to stop the grin that spread across his face. Lance might be out with Rolo right now, but he was still texting Keith.

 

A gentle knock on his dorm room door woke Keith up. Groaning he rolled over to check the time. It was about eleven. Looking over to the opposite side of the room he noticed Rolo wasn’t back yet.

 

Pushing away his blankets he padded to the door and found a sheepish looking Lance standing on the other side. “Hey,” He started, rubbing at the back of his neck, “I know it’s late and you were probably sleeping, but I brought your tea.” He handed Keith the to go cup, which was still warm.

 

Keith felt himself smiling a little bit more warmly than he should. He met his friends eyes, “Thanks Lance, I really appreciate it.” He clutched the cup in both hands and rubbed his foot against an ankle, “Do you wanna come in for a bit?”

 

“I should really let you get back to sleep…”

 

Keith grabbed Lance’s arm and looked at him pleadingly. He knew his brain was a little slow since he was sick, but in that moment the only thing he really wanted was to look at Lance.

 

Lance gauged the situation carefully and finally nodded and followed Keith into the room. Keith flicked on the lamp on his desk, casting a soft glow in the otherwise dark room. He straightened his blankets out and settled back into his bed. Lance hopped up at the end of the bed, one leg resting alarmingly close to Keith’s. Desperate to ignore this Keith took a sip of the tea Lance had brought and leaned his head against the wall in relief. The irritating flaming in his throat went down considerably.

 

“Pretty wicked cold, huh?” Lance asked gently. Keith responded by nodding miserably.

 

He opened his eyes and smiled at Lance, “Thank you for this by the way. My throat feels better already.” The two boys settled into a comfortable silence that only two people comfortable with each other could share. Keith continued to drink the tea and listening to Lance’s light breathing. “So what did you guys do tonight?” He talked softly, not wanting to break the mood that had fallen over them.

 

Lance picked at the leg of his sweatpants. “Not much.” He smiled to himself then, “I think the whole night was just a cover up so Hunk could see Allura again.”

 

Keith laughed but it sent him into a fit of coughs. Lance looked at him full of concern but he waved it off. “I’m ok. So did Hunk get to see her?”

 

“He did, in fact we got to the ice cream place just as she was going on her break. She sat down and talked with all of us for a while. Even hooked us up with some free ice cream.” Lance glanced down at the bag he had brought with him, “Which reminds me, I got you a pint of your favorite ice cream too. I’ll put it in your fridge.”

 

Keith watched as Lance hopped off his bed and put a pint of double chocolate ice cream in his freezer. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.” Keith said with amusement.

 

Lance looked over his shoulder and smirked. “My friend is sick in bed while I was out running around. Of course I was going to hook you up with ice cream.” He hoisted himself back up onto Keith’s bed and nudged his foot against Keith’s. “Besides, it felt weird without you tonight. Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt and you and I are kinda like a team now, ya know?”

 

Keith took a sip of his tea to hide the blush that creeped across his face. “Yeah, I get you.” He watched Lance for a moment, the way the lamp on his desk threw shadows across the planes of his face. His cheekbones stood out a bit more than usual, and the area around his eyes was a bit darker in the shadows. He was wearing his “lounging clothes” as he referred to them, gray sweatpants and varying colors of hoodies. He looked a little more relaxed than he usually does, maybe getting off campus for a few hours. His brow creased as he thought of something. “Hey, you said Rolo went out with you guys, right?”

 

Lance nodded, “He ran into somebody he knew in town though. He’s probably still out.”

 

Keith nodded and rested his head against his pillows. He could feel the tea taking effect and he was starting to get drowsy. “Keith?” Lance questioned. Keith opened his eyes with effort and noticed Lance smiling softly at him. “You need to sleep dude.”

 

He halfheartedly waved a hand in Lance’s direction. “No, no. I’m fine.”

 

Lance laughed, the sound filling up Keith’s heart. “You’re literally falling asleep right in front of me.” Keith felt Lance get off the bed. He took the cup of almost empty tea out of Keith’s hands and put it on his desk. “Get some sleep Samurai. I’ll see you in the morning, ok?”

 

“Mhm.” Was all Keith managed.

 

Lance shook his head and smiled and headed for the door. Just as he was leaving he heard Keith mumble, “Thanks, Lance.” He fought down a bigger smile and closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall outside his room for a second. Who knew Keith with bedhead could be so, so… _“Adorable.”_ The thought slipped into Lance’s mind. Shaking his head at himself he made his way down the hallway, trying to ignore the thoughts scratching at the back of his head.

 

***

“How am I going to handle four full weeks away from you guys?”

 

Hunk and Lance laughed at Pidge’s heartfelt whine. “Pidge, its just a month. Other colleges get the _entire_ summer off.” Hunk said as he ruffled her hair.

 

“But back home is so boring. You guys live next to the ocean.”

 

“Please, you guys live in the mountains.” Lance added, swinging his legs over the arm of a chair.

 

“Its not like there is any snow on the mountains in the summer though, Lance.”

 

Hunk and Lance exchanged a look. “You could always come up to visit at some point during break.”

 

Pidge’s eyes lit up. “I’ll go find Matt and ask!” She dashed off, leaving Hunk and Lance sitting in their favorite lounge.

 

The entire Garrison was bustling with activity. It was finally “summer vacation” as the Garrison referred to it. It wasn’t nearly as long as traditional summer breaks but considering they only got a week off during each of the semesters four weeks at home will seem like a yearlong excursion. Lance couldn’t wait to get home to see his family, and spend as much time at the beach as he possibly could. He craved the sand and open ocean so badly it almost hurt.

 

“Do you have anything else left to pack?” Hunk questioned.

 

“Nope, I’m all ready to go in the morning.” He leaned his head back against the other leg of the chair. “I’m so excited to surf again.”

 

Hunk smiled at his friend. “Yeah me too, I feel like I’m going to be rusty when we get back out there.”

 

“Oh please, you’ve been surfing almost as long as you’ve been walking. You’ll be fine.”

 

Hunk chuckled at that and kept scrolling through his phone. “My moms tried to plan another party but I told them not to. The last one was embarrassing enough.”

 

Lance snorted. “Right? It was kind of exhausting dealing with all my distant relatives that only showed up to grill me about every little detail of this place.”

 

“It’s getting kind of late, do you wanna go eat?”

 

“Sure.” Lance hauled himself out the chair he was sitting in and headed to the elevators with Hunk. Lance noticed Keith standing at the elevators waiting as well. He was looking down at his phone so Lance took the opportunity for a surprise attack. “SAMURAI!” He yelled, charging down the hallway.

 

A very startled looking Keith looked up just in time to brace himself as Lance launched onto him, wrapping his arms around Keith’s shoulders. Keith laughed as they tried to keep balance. “Lance, what are you doing?” He put his hands on Lance’s arms in an attempt to steady himself.

 

“Just giving my friend a hug because we won’t see each other for a month.” Lance grinned and brushed his hair out of his eyes, but he did keep one arm wrapped around Keith’s shoulders. “Got anything exciting planned for break?”

 

Hunk joined his friends by the elevators and smiled down at his phone. Keith and Lance met eyes and smirked. “Texting somebody special there, we see.” Lance droned lightly.

 

Hunk’s head snapped up and he pushed his phone into his pocket, blushing furiously the whole time. He noticed the looks on Keith and Lance’s faces and rubbed the back of his neck. “I was just texting Allura. No big deal.”

 

The elevator doors pinged open and the three boys walked in and Hunk hit the button for the first floor. “Nothing serious, huh?” Lance teased, “Make sure to send her some love assurances, you don’t want her to think you abandoned her during break.”

 

“Cut it out Lance.” Hunk chuckled, flushing an even deeper shade of red. Over the past two months the “Shiro Squad” as Matt liked to call it, had made many trips into town to visit the little ice cream shop Allura worked at. In the past couple of weeks though Hunk had gotten bolder and started to go on his own, and Shiro was more than happy to let him borrow his car. Even though Lance teased Hunk about it constantly he was happy for his best friend. And from what Hunk had been telling him Allura seemed like a really pleasant girl.

 

Lance stared at the moving numbers on the elevator screen. “Can you guys believe we finished out first year at the Garrison?”

 

Hunk sighed. “I know, it feels like we just moved in yesterday.”

 

The elevator doors opened and the three boys stepped out into a busy lobby. As Keith looked around it seemed like everyone was saying goodbye, acting as if they would never see each other again. Sure, there was a class of students graduating, Shiro and Matt included, but for the most part everyone was staying on for a couple more years. Keith also dreaded the new freshman class that was coming up; it was just another batch of people to deal with. “Hey Mullet, why so glum?” Lance nudged their shoulders together.

 

Startling slightly Keith shrugged. “I just don’t like change. Its going to be weird without Shiro and Matt with us here next year.”

 

Lance and Hunk nodded in agreement. “At least the graduation ceremony is after break, so we still get to see them for like, a week before they have to leave for good.”

 

“I bet they are excited to graduate though, they managed to land internships at Altea Incorporated.” Hunk said in awe.

 

Just then the two older boys in question appeared out of throng of people and headed toward their younger friends. “Hey guys! We hoped we would catch you before you left for break!” Matt called cheerfully. Shiro smiled down at his friend and walked up to his cousin and ruffled his hair.

 

“Shiro, come on.” Keith laughed, punching Shiro’s metal arm.

 

Shiro laughed along with him, “Hey, next year you are going to rule this roost, I need to tease you as much as I can before I leave.”

 

“There are still classes above us Shiro.”

 

Shiro just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Lance watched the exchange with interest. It was quite strange to think about the Shiro, Matt and Keith he met a year ago. At first Shiro had terrified him, but now that they were friends Lance found that he looked up to Shiro. He was smart, kind, and also apparently bi. That bonded the two together in a way that no one else understood. One night Shiro had also confused to the crush he had on Matt, and apparently had been crushing on him for _years._ But Lance couldn’t convince him to just own up and tell Matt, even though it was plain as day that Matt felt the same way.

 

He watched them now, joking and laughing and gazing at each other with heart eyes. Lance smiled and thought, _“Pining idiots.”_

 

The group made their way into the cafeteria and managed to find a table in all the chaos. “So are you guys excited for your break?” Matt asked.

 

Hunk and Lance nodded eagerly. “I can’t wait to surf. And be outside all the time.” Lance declared. He popped open his soda and took a gulp. “Plus the seafood will be fresh.”

 

Hunk sighed dramatically, “God, I’ve missed cooking _so fucking much.”_

 

Lance clapped a hand over his mouth to keep the soda from spraying out of his mouth. When he gained control of himself again he burst into laughter. Hunk quirked a brow at him, “What? I’ve been waiting to get back into my moms bakery for months!”

 

Lance shook his head, “You just never curse, and whenever you do its _hilarious.”_

 

Hunk punched his shoulder lightly as the rest of the table laughed. He looked at Keith sitting solemnly across the table. “What are you going to do over break Keith?”

 

He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ll go home I guess. Go on hikes I guess?” Unlike the rest of the students at the Garrison Keith wasn’t looking forward to break. Even though he had lived with Shiro and his parents for years now their giant house in the mountains never really felt like home to him. Sure his aunt and uncle treated them just like another son, but it just wasn’t the same as his own parents. Going back to Shiro’s house was just a constant reminder of everything he had lost.

 

“Oh come on, there must be other stuff you want to do. See friends or something?” Hunk chimed in.

 

Keith just shrugged again. “I don’t really have that many friends back home.” He blushed when he realized how incredibly lame that sounded.

 

He noticed Lance watching him intently. “Do you wanna come with Hunk and I?” He said suddenly.

 

Keith recoiled slightly, completely taken aback by the question. “Like, home with you guys?”

 

Lance shrugged, mimicking Keith. “Sure, I mean last break I told you that you should come out and visit, why not now?”

 

“I wouldn’t want to impose.” Keith said with wide eyes. He knew he should deny Lance’s offer, but everything inside him was screaming, “ _DON’T WASTE THIS OPPORTUNITY!”_

“You wouldn’t be imposing! My family has a quest room above our garage. And besides, I’m sure my mom would love it if I brought a friend home. She’s convinced that I’ve become a recluse since starting going here.” Lance chuckled lightly.

 

Shiro slapped a hand on Keith’s back. “You should go Keith. My mom and dad wouldn’t mind. And you’ve always talked about seeing the ocean.”

 

Keith felt another blush crawling up his neck. “I still feel like I’d get in the way…”

 

“Remember how I said I’d teach you to surf?” Lance cut him off, “You know it would be fun. Please say yes Mullet.”

 

Keith swallowed thickly. The way Lance was looking at him was slowly breaking down all his inner defenses. _“You know he doesn’t like you like that, you idiot. He’s just inviting you because that’s what friends do.”_ But a part of Keith didn’t care. Lance was inviting him to come _home_ with him. No one else had ever offered Keith anything like that before. He sighed and looked down at his plate, “Sure, why not?”

 

Before Keith could react Lance had run around the table and engulfed Keith in a side hug. “You’re gunna love it Mullet. It hardly ever rains and the water is so beautiful.”

 

Keith smiled at his friend and tried to hide just how excited he truly was. “I need to text my mom! And get you a plan ticket.” Lance started to chatter about all the last minute plans, but Keith didn’t hear any of it. He was perfectly content with watching Lance smile.

 

***

“Welcome to California!” Lance declared cheerfully, glancing excitedly back at Keith. He couldn’t help but laugh at Keith’s appearance, black jeans, black converse and a black tank top. He had pulled his sunglasses over his eyes the minute they stepped off the plane, and Lance couldn’t help but find it completely enduring. He grabbed one of Keith’s hands and tugged him forward. “Wait till you see the ocean.”

 

Keith allowed himself to be tugged along; secretly enjoyed how excited Lance was at showing off where he lived. Hunk smiled at the two boys, watching how they interacted. He wisely guessed there was something going on between the two of them, though he realized they were both completely oblivious. “I called my moms, they should be here to pick us up once we get our luggage.” He relayed the information to his friends. “Then we need to eat because I’m _starving.”_

 

After about an hour the boys were safely in Hunk’s mothers’ mini van, heading toward their bakery. Lance hadn’t stopped talking since they got off the plane, and Keith was trying to keep up with the overload of information. If it had been anyone else throwing this much information at him Keith might have had a panic attack, but he was used to Lance and his talking. (It didn’t hurt that he loved to listen to the sound of his voice.) Keith looked down at his phone but glanced back up when Lance tapped his shoulder. “Keith, look.” He pointed out the window.

 

Keith glanced out the window and was taken aback. “Oh wow…” He whispered, moving closer to the window. The ocean stretched out before him, so completely blue and inviting. Waves crashed up against the beach, and he could see people surfing. A smile spread across his face as he whipped out his phone to text Shiro some pictures.

 

Lance had been watching Keith the whole time, eager to watch Keith’s reaction to seeing the ocean for the first time. He expected Keith to be blown away, but he didn’t expect to feel his heart melt when he saw Keith’s eyes go wide, and move closer to the window to get a better view. Just then Keith turned back to him with an incredible smile on his face, his dimple making a rare appearance. “Lance is this amazing, thank you for inviting me.” He whipped back around to the window, drinking up as much of the sights as he could.

 

Mentally shaking himself he forced a good-natured smile. “Of course, Mullet.”

 

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Hunk said from the seat in front of them, “Just wait till we get down to the beach!”

 

After several more minutes of driving the mini van pulled up to The Garrett Bakery, and the hungry teenage boys piled out of the car and headed inside. “Help yourselves to anything you want boys,” Hunk’s mom Tina said, “On the house.”

 

Hunk’s other mother, Sonya, laughed at the boy’s excitement. She looked at her wife and smiled. “I’m glad Hunk and Lance started making more friends at that school.”

 

Tina sighed happily and held her wife’s hand, “Me too. I know those two boys have been friends forever, but I’m glad to see them adding more friends to their group.”

 

“Mom!” Hunk called from the kitchen, “If you like Keith you’re going to _love_ Pidge!” She had been able to convince her parents to let her spend the last week of break with Hunk. His moms were only to happy to open their home to one of Hunk’s friends.

 

The two older women laughed and headed back into the kitchen to make sure the boys didn’t destroy anything.

 

After they had eaten Hunk and his family dropped Keith and Lance off at Lance’s house. Keith had been feeling nervous about meeting Lance’s family since the plane took off, but now that he was standing in front of Lance’s childhood home he felt like he was going to throw up. _“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”_ He thought insanely.

 

“Keith, you good?”

 

Lance so rarely ever called him by his name now that hearing it felt a strange. “Yeah,” He was able to muster, “I’m just… nervous I guess.”

 

“Why’re you nervous?” Lance asked gently, setting his bag on the grass.

 

Keith shrugged helplessly, “I’m just not good at meeting new people.”

 

He watched Lance’s face soften. “Keith, it’s going to be just fine. You’re my friend, my family is going to love you.” No sooner had Lance gotten the words out of his mouth the front door of his house banged open and several people came streaming out the door.

 

“Lance!” Several voices called, and soon Lance was swallowed up in hugs. Keith recognized most of the people from pictures and stories had told him. He knew Lance had two older brothers that didn’t live at home anymore, and he had a younger brother and sister. (And loads of cousins that Keith wasn’t sure if he was going to meet or not.)

 

Detangling himself from the pile of arms Lance laughed happily, his cheeks flushed a light red. Keith remained standing awkwardly behind the group, hoping Lance would introduce him. “Momma!” Lance yelled, throwing himself at a shorter gray haired woman.

 

The two embraced powerfully, stirring up emotions in Keith he long thought were dead. Lance pulled away from his mom and turned to Keith, motioning him to come over. He walked slowly over to the group, swallowing down all his fears. “Everybody!” Lance declared over the noise, “This is best friend Keith!”

 

Three faces turned to Keith and regarded him carefully. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Hi.” He said quietly.

 

Lance walked over to him and threw an arm over his shoulders. “He’s usually not this quiet, he’s just shy.”

 

“I am not _shy_.” Keith huffed.

 

Lance looked him in the eye, “Right, I forgot. You’re just socially stunted.” Keith glared playfully at him and pushed an elbow into his ribs. “Owe! Mullet!”

 

Keith laughed, “I barely touched you!” He pulled away fully and ran a couple steps away, Lance close on his tail.

 

“This isn’t going to be like the totally unfair snowball fight we had!” Lance yelled after him as he chased Keith across the lawn.

 

Keith turned back so he could see Lance, “It wasn’t unfair, you just have terrible aim!”

 

Lance gasped in mock horror. He caught up with Keith surprisingly fast and tackled him, pining him down on the grass. “You wanna take that back Mullet?” He asked as he gasped for air.

 

Keith struggled against Lance’s grip, “Never!” He laughed.

 

“Lance!” He heard his mother call, “You’ve been home two minutes and you’re already attacking your guest?”

 

He loosened his grip on Keith’s wrists, “He started it Ma!” Keith took advantage of Lance being distracted and flipped their positions, laughing merrily the whole time. Lance looked up at Keith, a startled expression decorating his face. “What the hell, Keith?” But he laughed.

 

Keith stood up and offered a hand to Lance and pulled him off the ground. “Come on boys,” Lance’s mother said as he headed inside, “It’s time you unpacked.”

 

***

Lance threw open a door and flicked a light switch on, the ceiling fan in the middle of the room whirring to life. “So this is our guest room, I know it’s not the best looking.” Lance cringed. He forgot just how ugly the seashell wallpaper was.

 

Keith walked in behind him and smiled. “Its perfect.” He tossed his suitcase onto the bed and collapsed next to it.

 

“So, is there anything you want to do first?” Lance asked as he plopped down next to Keith.

 

Opening one eye Keith glanced up at Lance. “I really want to see the ocean.”

 

Lance grinned, “Wanna go now?”

 

“Can we?” Keith sat up, a childlike wonder glowing in his eyes.

 

Lance stood and offered a hand, “Of course.” He drug Keith out the room and back downstairs. “Ma! I’m taking Keith to the ocean. We’ll be back in time for dinner!”

 

“Alright, hijo. Be careful!” She called after them as they raced out the front door. She watched fondly from the kitchen window. It had been a long time since she had see Lance that excited. _“Keith is good for him.”_ She thought.

 

***

Keith and Lance stood at the edge of the water, both smiling and shielding their eyes from the sun. Keith closed his eyes and titled his head up toward the sun, inhaling deeply. “It _does_ smell amazing.” He opened his eyes and looked at Lance.

 

“What’d I tell you Mullet? You’re never going to want to leave.”

 

He noticed Keith taking his shoes off and rolling up his jeans. “Come on, I wanna feel the water.” He called back toward Lance as he jogged off toward the water.

 

Laughing Lance hopped back and forth in the sand as he tried to get his shoes off. He lost his balance and fell over, landing with a heavy thud. Keith laughed at him from the water, clutching his sides. “Oh shut it Keith!” Lance called. Once he got his socks off he ran out to join Keith, sighing in content when he felt the water on his skin.

 

“When can you teach me to surf?” Keith asked excitedly.

 

“We can start tomorrow if you want.” Lance smiled at how excited Keith was. It was nice to see him like this. Though his happy feelings instantly turned to betrayal when Keith splashed water in his face. Sputtering he wiped the water from his eyes and glared at Keith. “Oh, it is _so_ on.” He advanced toward a laughing Keith.

 

Soon the boys were caught up in an all out splashing war that eventually ended when Lance tackled Keith into the water. Panting Keith said, “Ok, ok. Truce?”

 

Pushing his wet hair out of his face Lance agreed. “My mom is going to be horrified.”

 

Shaking out his hair Keith said, “Will she?”

 

“Probably, we should get headed back anyways.”

 

So, soaking wet, the boys made their way back to Lance’s house.

 

***

Later that same night Keith and Lance sat on the roof of Lance’s house, one of Lance’s favorite spots. The stars seemed to shining extra bright that night, and Lance sighed contentedly. He turned to look over at Keith; he sat with his arms under his head and gazing at the stars. “Thanks for coming with me Keith.” He said quietly.

 

His friend turned to face him, “I should be the one thanking you. This has been incredible so far.” The softness in his voice turned something in Lance’s stomach.

 

“Next time I’ll just have to come home with you.”

 

Keith reached out and patted one of Lance’s hands. “I’d love that.”

 

The boys fell silent and continued to stare at the stars; both too scared to say what was really on their minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to write that damn ocean and roof scene FOR SO LONG Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND. You'll get more of that vacation in upcoming chapters too, don't worry. 
> 
> It's been raining here all day so I loved just sitting down and banging this chapter out. 
> 
> I hope to have the next one up really soon! Until next time friends! (I've also been listening to the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack whilst writing and it put me in a really good headspace. 10/10 do recommend listening!)


	8. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Just a quick trigger warning. I've written about an attempted suicide in this chapter, so if you would rather skip over that part stop reading at the section that starts with "One Year After Keith's Disappearance" and start up again at the section that starts with "The first thing Lance became aware of..." 
> 
> Happy reading!

_One Year Before Keith’s Disappearance_

 

Keith jacked up the volume on his communicator and revved his motorcycle’s engine. The wind whisked faster past his helmet, nearly drowning out his music. He turned the volume up even more as he sped toward the sunset. Normally Keith didn’t go for indie music, but he had to admit this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUzBfBqbSmc) in particular was perfect for cruising. He smiled at how cliché he must look. The standard black leather jacket, black jeans, and aviator sunglasses. His smiled wider as he flew around a bend in the road.

 

Sunlight came through the trees in scattered rays, casting odd and beautiful shadows over the road. Keith felt completely at peace as he grew closer to his destination. Lance had surprised him for his birthday last month with this motorcycle, and Keith still couldn’t believe it. He had had his eye on this bike for _years_ but could never afford it. He couldn’t even imagine how much and how long Lance had to save in order to surprise him with this.

 

He came around one more bend in the road to the lookout spot Lance had sent him the address for. He parked his bike and pulled his helmet off his head and shook his hair out. “Now that’s a sight I’ll never get sick of.”

 

Keith whipped around and saw Lance leaning against a tree with a smirk gracing his face. “Oh really?” He asked slyly, “I’m starting to think the only reason you got the motorcycle is so you could drool over me.” Setting the helmet on the seat behind him he leaned over the handlebars, grinning wickedly.

 

Lance pushed off the tree and leaned down into Keith’s face, “Wow, Samurai. This might be one the few times you are actually _right_ about something.” Keith scoffed and pulled Lance’s chin down so he could give him a quick kiss.

 

“Happy one year anniversary babe.” Keith whispered softly, stroking one of Lance’s cheeks. A laugh trickled from his mouth when he saw a blush spreading up Lance’s neck. “Hey, don’t go and get embarrassed on me now, you’re the one that planned this whole thing out.”

 

“I know,” Lance mocked offense, “Its just… sometimes when I look at you I can’t believe how fucking lucky I am.” He reached out and brushed some of Keith’s hair out of his eyes, “A whole year with my soul mate.”

 

It was Keith’s turn to be flustered. He swung a leg over his seat and stood, walking around the bike so he could wrap Lance in his arms. Burying his face in his neck he inhaled the sweet scent of Lance’s cologne. “I love you…”

 

He felt Lance sigh, “I love you too Mullet.” They separated just enough that they could see one another, “Before we get super mushy and disgusting I should probably show you why I had you drive all the way out here.”

 

“That would be nice, yeah.” Keith grinned and grabbed Lance’s hand. He led Keith through the woods for a moment before they came to a staircase that descended to the beach below.

 

Lance turned to him with a sly look on his face, “Ok, I’m going to blindfold you now.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Babe, you know I love being super cliché. Let me have this.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes mightily. “Fine.”

 

Lance smiled and pounced, wrapping a thick black cloth over his eyes. “I’m holding your hand the whole way. Just follow the sound of my voice.”

 

Keith carefully tread down the stairs with Lance’s help and he quickly felt sand beneath his boots. Lance carefully steered him forward and then moved behind him. He could practically feel Lance’s excitement rolling off him in waves. “Ok, happy anniversary babe.”

 

It took a moment for Keith’s adjust to the bright light assaulting his eyes and he blinked a few times before Lance’s surprise came into focus. On a blanket not two feet away sat a candlelit dinner for two, on a beach, at sunset. “Yep, this is about as cliché it gets.”

 

“You hate it don’t you?” Lance said, still behind him.

 

“No, no,” Keith flipped around and took Lance’s face in his hands, “Its amazing. _You’re_ amazing.” He kissed him then, winding his fingers in the chestnut hair. When they pulled away he said, “I really don’t deserve you.”

 

“I take that back, you’re right about two things today.” Lance teased. “Now come on, before the ice for the champagne melts.” Keith followed his boyfriend over to the blanket and settled down next to him, observing the spread Lance had prepared.

 

“Wow, you even did the chocolate covered strawberries.”

 

“Oh be quiet. I know for fact that you adore chocolate strawberries from Nyma’s shop.”

 

“Once again, you got me there.” Keith watched Lance’s eyes as he gazed out at the ocean. They glittered brighter than any star he had ever seen. A little embarrassed by the amount he was quaking he shrugged out his leather jacket and leaned his head on Lance’s shoulder.

 

Lance smiled and leaned his head against Keith’s, desperately trying to find the reason that Keith chose him, and _kept_ choosing him. Of course their relationship wasn’t perfect. Keith was a complete slob, but he never failed to make sure Lance had his coffee before they went to work in the mornings. He always knew just what to say if Lance was having a rough day, and he was the only one that could calm him down if he had a panic attack.

 

The light of the setting sun caught in Keith’s violet eyes, making them glow an even brighter shade of purple. Lance wove his fingers through Keith’s and stroked his thumb over his knuckles. “I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you.” He said softly.

 

Keith sat up to look at Lance. “Lance…”

 

“No. Really.” Lance looked out to sea for a moment, “I was blind for so long. If I hadn’t let Rolo get into my head like that then I wouldn’t have hurt you as badly as I did.” He took a deep breath and clutched Keith’s hand tighter, “I still can’t believe you forgave me, that you love me, that you _chose_ me.”

 

“Lance, you know that’s all in the past now. And it wasn’t your fault.” Keith’s face softened. “And of course I forgave you, I hurt you during that time too. All that matters now is that we have each other, and we’ll never have to know what its like to be without one another again.”

 

Lance felt his eyes spike with tears. “God, I love you so much…” Keith kissed him then, both of them completely disregarding the melting ice in the champagne bucket.

 

***

Sunlight streamed through a window, a curtain gently blowing in the morning breeze. Lance woke slowly, at first confused by his surroundings. Opening his eyes he quickly remembered that he was home for the Garrison’s “summer” vacation. The smell of the salty ocean air was all Lance needed to get motivated to get out of bed.

 

He pulled on some shorts and a light t-shirt and headed downstairs. When he reached the kitchen he found only his mother. She glanced up from the newspaper when she heard her son come through the door. “Morning my darling.” She said happily.

 

Lance walked over to her chair and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. “Morning ma.” He threw open the window above the sink and stared happily out at the view. “I’m so glad to be home.” Closing his eyes he let the breeze ruffle his still mused hair. “Its easy to forget how much I miss home when I’m so busy with classes.”

 

Lance’s mother folded the newspaper and placed it on the tabletop, folding her hands in her lap. “Lance, love, about the Garrison…”

 

“What about it?” He turned to face her, a knot of worry teasing his stomach.

 

“I just want to know, if you still think that it’s worth it.”

 

“What do you mean ma?”

 

She sighed and pulled her hair into a tighter bun. “I mean, we never see you anymore, and when you do have the chance to come home for a few days you are so exhausted you can hardly do anything other than sleep. I’m worried about you.”

 

Lance sighed and walked back over to his mother’s chair and pulled her into a side hug. “Mom, going to the Garrison is the opportunity of a lifetime. Yes it’s draining and hard and even _scary_ sometimes. But I have to believe all the work will be worth it in the end.”

 

“You push yourself too hard darling.”

 

He pulled away from her and squatted so they were eye level. “I’m not doing this just for me. I’m doing it for dad.”

 

His mother’s eyes filled with tears. She placed one hand on his cheek, “Oh my boy, he would have been so proud of you.”

 

Lance smiled softly and kissed one of her hands. “Going to the Garrison is going to give me some of the best possibilities job wise.” He paused to run a hand through his hair, “Even if I’m not excelling in any particular area a degree from the Garrison is enough to make anybody interested.” Lance felt his face drop so he stood and walked over to the coffeemaker on the counter. He didn’t want his mother to know how truly scared he was. Sure he was doing fine in his written class work, but when it came to applying those same principals to real life situations… well its safe to say he sucked.

 

“So, you brought a friend home with you this time.”

 

Lance spun around to face his mother, already flustered. “Um yeah, he wanted to learn how to surf,” Shrugging he tried in vain not to feel embarrassed, “And there’s no better time than right now, right?”

 

Nora quirked a brow and smiled. “He’s cute. Though that hair though.” She waved a hand in the air dismissively, “You know I’ve never been much for that long hair. By the way, you could use a cut.”

 

Lance backed into the sink and held his arms out in front of him in defense. “Oh no, no, no. Last time you ‘cut’ my hair you buzzed it and it took months to get it back to normal.”

 

Laughing Nora stood and wrapped her son in a hug. “I won’t touch your hair. But I’d love to give Keith a trim. Getting him looking nice for all the pictures you’ll take over the next month.”

 

“Maaaa…” Lance groaned. “He’s just a friend.” He looked back out the window, “And besides, he’d never go for someone like me anyways.”

 

Nora slammed her hands on her hips, “Now why do you say that? Anyone would be lucky to have you on their arm.”

 

“Keith is just… he’s…” Lance forced himself to stop. “I don’t even know if I like him like _that_ ma.” He stopped talking before he could say anything to embarrass himself. Like how much he loved Keith’s eyes, or how his laugh could make a bad day better. Or how cute Keith was when he was sick and let his guard down. How he looked when he was focused in class or how he would pull his stupid mullet back into a tiny ponytail when he wanted to get serious about a situation. “ _No, you don’t like him like that. You_ can’t _like him like that.”_

 

And speak of the devil Keith had appeared timidly in the doorway of the kitchen, hair pulled up into one of his signature sloppy ponytails. “Morning.” He croaked, rubbing the last of sleep from his eyes.

 

Lance watched him with his heart in his throat. _“You can’t like him like that. It could ruin everything.”_

***

“This is absolutely HOPELESS!” Keith said disgruntledly. He smacked a hand against the ocean as if to teach it a lesson.

 

Lance sat perched atop his surfboard and laughed merrily. “You’ve only been at it for twenty minutes, give it a little more time, will ya?” He started to paddle over to Keith to help him back up on his surfboard. Keith didn’t have a wetsuit so he borrowed one of Lance’s older brothers old ones. Lance had to admit Keith did look good in blue and black, he rarely ever saw him out of his signature black and the occasional red. “Come on, Mullet,” Lance said as he helped Keith steady himself, “Its all about the timing. Watch me again.”

 

Huffing Keith watched Lance paddle away and toward a wave. He pushed some wet hair from his eyes so he could better observe Lance and all his movements. He made everything look so natural, and he looked so at ease in the water. It wouldn’t take a second glance to know Lance had been born and raised in this environment.

 

Pulling himself from his musings Keith watched as Lance pulled himself upright on his board and cruised through a wave, even doing a casual flick and jump toward the tail end. He exited the wave smoothly and whooped. “See Mullet?” He shouted in Keith’s general direction, “Easy as pie!”

 

“Yeah, whatever you say.” Keith grumbled. He put a neutral expression on his face as Lance paddled back toward him.

 

“Ah, come on now, don’t get grumpy on me. I’ve been surfing since I could walk, so of course it comes more naturally to me. Don’t get down on yourself for not perfecting it in the first twenty minutes.” Lance patted Keith on the back and smiled radiantly. “I’ve never seen you give up on anything, so don’t start here, ok?”

 

Keith blinked at Lance a few times before a reluctant grin spread across his face. “Yeah, yeah. I’m going to try again.” He moved away from Lance, biting his cheek to keep himself from looking back and smiling like an idiot at the boy behind him. Maybe he shouldn’t have come on this trip. Being around Lance at the Garrison was one thing, but seeing him at home and interacting with his family and friends, being in a place where everything he does is so natural… it was killing Keith. _“I should have just gone home with Shiro.”_ He grumbled to no one in particular.

 

He saw a new wave approaching and he scrambled to remember everything Lance had told him. _“It’s all about the timing… come on, you’ve been flying speeders since you were 10. You can handle a simple wave.”_ Keith readied himself on the board and carefully came into a standing position. The board wobbled beneath him but he fought to keep his balance. He didn’t realize he was actually riding a wave until he heard Lance cheering in the distance.

 

“Hell yeah Mullet! Told you could do it man!”

 

Keith felt himself smiling and soon he was cheering too. In his excitement he lost balance and toppled over into the wave but surfaced quickly and located his board. By the time he had pulled himself back up on the board Lance was back at his side. “Good job, man! Told you it was all the timing.”

 

Keith pulled his wet hair back into a tighter ponytail. “That was great. Thank you Lance.”

 

Lance looked out to the ocean in the distance, “Let’s go again, yeah?”

 

***

_Six Months Before Keith’s Disappearance_

“I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong, Shiro. You, Hunk and Pidge were able to unlock your lions so much faster than Lance and I.” Keith groaned and dropped his head onto his desk. He heard his cousin chuckling over his shoulder. “Don’t laugh at me.”

 

“Keith you’re going to end up pushing yourself too hard. You know Red was bonded to Alfor. He probably doesn’t want to give up that bond so easily.”

 

“Yeah but Black was bonded to Zarkon and you were able to get past that bond pretty easily.”

 

Shiro sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Zarkon was no Alfor. Zarkon only had selfish desires in mind when it came to Voltron and the lions. Alfor poured his heart and soul into this project. He was a strong man, with a strong will.”

 

Keith ran a hand over his face in frustration, “I know that. And I know I’ll never be Alfor. So what if we can never get Red unlocked? Even Allura has tried and she’s Alfor’s _daughter_ for Christ’s sake.”

 

“Just take it one step at a time, right? That’s what Alfor had Matt and I doing before he passed away.”

 

Keith didn’t respond, just fiddled with a pen on his desk.

 

“You know how stubborn Red can be, and if you’ve started to doubt yourself he can probably sense that. You need to trust in your own abilities and then Red might be more willing to let you in.”

 

“Its just…” Keith slammed a hand down on his desk, “I’m just some punk fighter pilot. Why did Alfor even hire me? What could I, or what can I, even possibly offer to this company?”

 

Shiro placed a hand on his cousin’s shoulder. “I can’t say I knew what went on in Alfor’s head, but you know he didn’t hire anyone to work at this company without seeing limitless potential in that person.” Keith hung his head. “He saw what I’ve always seen. You’re special Keith. You are cut out for _amazing_ things. Just believe in yourself for once, yeah?”

 

Keith turned misty eyes up to Shiro. “You sound like some cheesy two bit motivational speaker.” He chuckled lightly, “I need a break,” He rubbed at his eyes, “I’m gunna go get some air outside.”

 

“Take as much time as you need.”

 

It was late fall now and the weather was starting to turn more crisp. Of course it was always raining here, but the fall rains were some of Keith’s favorites. He leaned against the railing of the stairs into the building and took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A light breeze ruffled his hair and he felt some tension melt from his shoulders. It was hard to work at a company where you are surrounded by geniuses 24/7. One of the only reasons he even got into the Garrison was because of his piloting skills.

 

But when Alfor had offered him a position at Altea he couldn’t really refuse. Any other tech company in the world couldn’t hold a candle to Altea and what Alfor had achieved over the years.

 

It didn’t hurt that his friends and boyfriend were also going to work at the same company. A new chill blew in the breeze and Keith pulled his jacket a little tighter around his shoulders.

 

Reflecting on the past few years of his life Keith still had trouble believing this _was_ his life. He lost his parents when he was eight, and it affected him deeply for a long time. He had never been the best at making friends, but for some reason kids didn’t want to play with an orphan. So he became even more introverted and closed in on himself as the years went along. Middle school had been miserable, as it is for most young teens. Some of the kids in his grade found out his was gay and teased him mercilessly about it. They didn’t really believe Keith was actually gay, that he was just saying that because he couldn’t get a girlfriend.

 

So Keith got into fights constantly, trying to form a shell over his heart since the world decided he wasn’t worth the oxygen. His aunt and uncle had him go to a counselor but nothing really helped. The one solace he did find the bleak mess of his life was flying. He once overheard his uncle say it was ironic that flying meant so much to Keith, seeing that flying is what killed his parents.

 

But there was something about being in the air, of having complete and utter control over the speeder, but having to trust the air to keep you aloft, that Keith found mesmerizing. When he was flying there was no one to make fun of him, no one trying to crack open his mind and “fix” him. It was just him and the sky.

 

His aunt and uncle signed him up for advanced pilots training when he was just a freshman in high school. Though many of the other students in the course were almost double his age Keith outshone them all. He had been taking his final flight exam test the day he met Iverson for the first time. He kept praising Keith and insisting he apply to the Garrison.

 

Keith was a little wary of the Garrison though. Sure Shiro and Matt had been going there for awhile now, but he didn’t want any more schooling. He just wanted to graduate high school and get a piloting job somewhere, maybe even apply at NASA. But Iverson kept badgering him about it, and even eventually contacted the school board. According to Iverson he had shown them Keith’s portfolio and some videos of him flying and that had been it. They didn’t even need him to send in an application.

 

He was one of four students that been admitted to the Garrison on recommendations alone. Of course his aunt and uncle had been over the moon, and Keith supposed he should go. Not for himself but for his parents. He knew in his heart of hearts that they would have been ridiculously proud of him. When he started at the Garrison he couldn’t have imagined meeting Lance, or the rest of his friends.

 

His plan had been to stick with Matt and Shrio, and just coast through his time there. But when Pidge had introduced them to Hunk and Lance his life changed forever.

 

“Oh Keith, there you are.” Lance’s voice pulled him back to the present. “You’ve been out here awhile, I figured you might want some coffee.” He handed him a travel cup with coffee. When Keith took the first sip he had to smile, Lance knew just exactly how he liked his coffee. “What’re you doing out here anyways? It’s getting cold.”

 

Keith shrugged. “I just needed a minute to clear my head. I was getting pretty overwhelmed in there.”

 

Heaving a sigh Lance nodded. “I agree 100 percent. I can’t fathom why Red and Blue are being so difficult.”

 

Keith took one of Lance’s hands in his own and rubbed a thumb across his knuckles. “I’m really glad I met you.” He turned to look at Lance. “My life would be so different if I hadn’t.”

 

Lance’s face melted into a soft expression. “If I knew it would make you that mushy I’ll bring you coffee all the damn time.” He laughed softly and squeezed Keith’s hand. “What’s gotten into you today Keith?”

 

He shook his head and smiled, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my past, where I can from.” He turned to look back out at the street, “And who I am now.”

 

Lance leaned in closer to Keith and dropped his head on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time. Then gentle pats of rain started to fall from the sky and Lance picked his head up and looked up at the sky. “I guess we should go back inside now.”

 

“Yeah I guess we should.”

 

***

_One Year After Keith’s Disappearance_

“I do think you’ve been making progress, Lance.” Coran said, folding his hands in his lap. “You’ve had a hellish year.”

 

Lance blinked at his psychiatrist and forced a nod. He sat in front of Coran’s large wooden desk, his hand perched in his chin. There was nothing wrong with Coran; in fact he was actually an amazing psychiatrist, and a pretty good friend. But Lance just didn’t want to be _here._

 

The past year had passed by unbearable slow. It was _agonizing_ living without Keith. At this point Lance would have preferred at least finding a body, but instead he was left with this gnawing hope, a hunger to find Keith. And it was slowly killing him.

 

His friends had tried everything, and Hunk had been the one who had forced him to come to Coran’s. If he couldn’t talk to his friends about his feelings and problems then maybe a fresh set of ears would help. And it had helped, very briefly.

 

But Lance just couldn’t escape the pain and desperation. It was eating away at him and he knew there were only a couple options that could end it.

 

“Lance? Are you still with me?” Coran’s gentle voice floated out to him.

 

Lance rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, sorry. I haven’t been sleeping very well lately.”

 

“Completely understandable. We’re drawing extremely close to a year of Keith being gone.” Coran picked up his notepad and scribbled something out and handed the sheet to Lance. “I’m prescribing you some heavier duty sleeping pills. Being sleep deprived is probably the last thing you want to deal with right now.”

 

Lance stared at Coran’s loopy script and nodded numbly. “Well, it looks like our time is up for today. I’ll see you next week, the same time?” Coran asked gently.

 

“Yes. Thank you Coran.”

 

“Try and get some more sleep young man, I know I always feel better after a good nights sleep.”

 

Lance left Coran’s office and made his way to his car. It was actually sunny out today, but even that failed to lift his spirits. He drove to the pharmacist’s office and picked up his new prescription and went home.

 

He opened the door to his dark apartment and closed the door and slid down the frame, crying before he could stop it. He was so sick of being miserable, he couldn’t sleep, and he couldn’t eat. Even breathing seemed like a monumental task now.

 

Coran kept telling him he needed to accept what happened. That Keith disappeared, and while it was the worst thing to happen to Lance, he couldn’t let it hold him back. “Keith would want you to keep living your life, Lance. Its time you took it off hold.” Coran would say.

 

“You don’t know _shit_ about me Coran.” Lance mumbled angrily. “Keith was my life. He _is_ my life.”

 

Pulling himself off the floor he shrugged out of his coat and went into his bedroom, prescription bag in hand. He had made up his mind on the way home.

 

There were only two things that could end this mindless vacuum of pain. If Keith came back to him, or…

 

Lance flicked the light on in his bathroom and took the prescription bottle out of the bag and clenched it tightly in his fist. He met his own eyes in the mirror and saw nothing but a bleak expanse of living his life on autopilot. More tears streaked down his cheeks. _“I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.”_

An hour or so later his apartment was more or less clean. Letters to mom, siblings and friends sat on his desk in a neat pile. He even wrote one to Keith and placed that on his pillow on the now neat bed.

 

Lance felt like he was suddenly outside of his body, like he was watching everything from above. He moved numbly to the kitchen and grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He went back into the bedroom, ignoring his communicator that was vibrating on the coffee table in the living room.

 

He took the pills one by one, hopeless tears falling from his chin and onto the bed. When the bottle was empty he grabbed Keith’s favorite black hoodie and buried his face in it and sobbed so hard it hurt his stomach. “I’m so sorry Keith… I’m so sorry.” He choked out between sobs.

 

It didn’t take long for him to drift off, completely numb, but not at peace.

 

***

“Lance? LANCE?” Hunk screamed. He had been calling Lance nonstop all day but wasn’t getting any answers. Worried and desperate he had driven to Lance’s apartment and found it unlocked. And to his complete and utter horror he found his best friend lying on his bed, an empty bottle of sleeping pills next to him.

 

He fumbled for his communicator and called 911.

 

“911, what is your emergency?”

 

“Hi, um,” Hunk forced himself to take a deep breathe, “My friend, he, he…” Hunk doubled over from the force of his own crying.

 

“Sir,” The woman on the other end of the line said, “I can’t understand you, what is gong on?”

 

“My friend just took a whole bottle of sleeping pills… I, I don’t know how, how long ago. But _please,_ send and ambulance. Please, please I can’t loose him.”

 

“Alright sir, give me your address and we’ll have paramedics on the way right away.”

 

The rest of the phone call passed in a daze and Hunk hung up and picked Lance up off the bed and moved him to the living room. He slapped at Lance’s face, desperately trying to wake him. “Please buddy, please wake up. We can’t loose you like this.”

 

Violent sobs ripped out of Hunk as he stared down at his friends face. _“How could we have missed this? We failed him…”_

 

Distantly Hunk heard the ambulance roar into the parking lot. Medics charged into the apartment and took Lance out Hunk’s arms, shouting things at each other. A woman younger than Hunk touched his shoulder. “You should come with us, sir.”

 

Hunk nodded and followed the gurney out of the apartment and into the back of the ambulance. He took one of Lance’s hands and pressed it to his forehead. “Don’t leave me like this…” He whispered as the sirens wailed into the night.

 

***

The first thing Lance became aware of was a headache that seemed to be splitting his head in half. He groaned and pried his eyes open, trying to make sense of where he was.

 

Once his eyes adjusted to the light he realized he was in the hospital. An oxygen mask obstructed most of the view he had of the room. He turned his head to the side and saw Hunk sitting in a car next to the bed, sleeping. His mouth was wide open and his head was tipped at an angle that looked extremely uncomfortable.

 

_“What happened…”_ Lance wondered distantly. His stomach hurt and his throat felt like sandpaper and he coughed, lifting the oxygen mask off his face.

 

“Lance?” He heard Hunk’s voice. He turned his back in that direction and saw Hunk’s face absolutely collapse. “Oh my god, Lance.” Hunk stood and took of Lance’s hands in his own, tears streaking down his face.

 

“What happened?” Lance croaked.

 

Hunk looked down at him, disbelief etched into his features. “You tried to kill yourself Lance.”

 

Lance blinked a few times and then tried to sit up. In a flash Lance felt Hunk’s hand at the small of his back to help him into a sitting position. “So you found me then?”

 

“I did. And the letters.” He poured Lance a cup of water that he gulped down gratefully.

 

He fiddled with the paper cup, “Did you read any of them?”

 

Hunk sighed and ran a hand over his face and the pulled it back into his hair. “No.”

 

Lance felt a strange twist of emotions in his gut. Grateful, he supposed, since Hunk didn’t read what he thought would be his last thoughts. Some anger at the fact that he woke up in a hospital bed. But also relief that he was still breathing. Tears formed in his eyes and he was sobbing before he could stop it.

 

“Oh, Lance.” Hunk pulled him into his arms and Lance gripped the back of his shirt tightly. The force of his sobs shook both he and Hunk, and he knew he was trashing the front of Hunk’s shirt but Hunk didn’t let go. His steady presence was exactly what Lance needed in that moment.

 

When Lance finally pulled away his eyes and nose were raw. Hunk handed him a Kleenex and sat back down in his chair. “I’m sorry you had to find me like that.”

 

“I’m only glad I found you in time.” Hunk said darkly, resting his elbows on his knees. He looked back up at his friend with pain and confusion in his eyes. “Why’d you do it?”

 

Lance sighed and wiped more tears from his eyes. “It just hurt too much. Sleeping, breathing, eating, _living._ It was all just too much. There’s point without him.”

 

Hunk remained silent. Lance settled more comfortably into the hospital bed just as nurse walked in.

 

She smiled brightly. “Ah, you’re awake! I’ll fetch the doctor and then we’ll look over your charts together!” She slipped back out the door and brought a doctor back with her within five minutes. The doctor was a tall, unassuming man with black hair and blue eyes.

 

“Hello Lance, you gave us all quite a scare.”

 

Lance didn’t know how to respond to that so he stayed quiet, nervously ringing his hands together. “My name is Ulaz, its nice to meet you.” He offered his hand to Lance who timidly shook it.

 

The doctor spent the next half hour or so explaining to Lance how close of a call he had, and that he would have to remain in the hospital for the next week or so. “We just want to monitor your vitals and sleeping patterns. We are also going to call in your psychiatrists, Coran, correct?”

 

Lance nodded numbly. “Alright then, we’ll leave you with your friend so you can get some rest.”

 

With that Ulaz and the nurse left, leaving Hunk and Lance in a tense silence. “You could’ve talked to us, you know?” Hunk offered quietly.

 

Something inside Lance snapped. “Oh really? Of course I’m going to run around telling my friends how much I hate the life I’m living, or how badly I want it all to end! Keith was everything I had, and when he disappeared he took me with him! _I haven’t been able to cope since he the day he left._ I’m a fucking disaster and I’m nothing but a burden now.” Lance heaved in deep breaths, horrified at his outburst.

 

Hunk stared at him in a new light, opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to say something.

 

“There was nothing you could’ve done.” Lance said more calmly. “I had my mind made up. The only things that could possibly get rid of the pain is getting Keith back or…”

 

“Just giving up?” Hunk said passionately.

 

Lance only nodded. “So you were willing to throw your life away? Everything you worked so _damn_ hard for? And for what?”

 

“For the love of my life.” Lance whispered. “You can’t possibly understand what he meant to me.”

 

Hunk huffed, frustrated. “I have Allura, and I can’t even _begin_ to imagine what I would do if I lost her.”

 

Lance turned sharply to Hunk. “No. You can’t. If you love her as much as I love Keith then you can only imagine the hurt losing your soul would cause.”

 

The two men fell into silence then, not knowing where to go forward. “You should probably get some sleep.” Hunk said, standing and moving over to the edge of Lance’s bed. “If you’re feeling up to it I’ll bring everyone by to see you tomorrow. You scared the shit out of us buddy.”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Hunk was almost out the door when Lance stopped him. “Tell everyone I’m sorry.”

 

Hunk turned back to face him. “I will buddy, I will.” He left the room before Lance could see him crying again.

 

Back in his room Lance has pushed his face into his pillow so no one could hear him crying. He felt utterly drained and exhausted. He couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about what he had done, and it was a little scary to hear that voice in the back of his head that was angry that he hadn’t succeeded.  

 

Rolling over so he was on his side he pulled his right wrist into view so he could see the words etched there. “Samurai” stood out in contrast to his tanned skin, and suddenly all the love he felt for Keith slammed into him, taking his breath away. Keith had “Sharpshooter” tattooed in the same place Lance had his and the memory brought tears and a smile to Lance’s face.

 

He clutched his wrist in his hand and pressed his lips to the black ink. “Samurai, if you’re out there… please come back to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This chapter kinda jumps around all over the place but I have some big things coming that I'm getting the story set up for. 
> 
> Until next time you guys!


	9. Unlikely Associates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOL HEY. I'm back again, with an angst filled chapter, and she's a looonnggg one

“This is absolutely unacceptable!” Zarkon practically screamed, slamming his fist on his desk. His son, Lotor, didn’t even blink. He simply crossed one long elegant leg over the other and waited for his father to continue. “I sent you to Altea to get information. And what do you come back with? NOTHING.”

 

“Father I told you already, they are crumbling from the inside. When you took Keith out of the equation it caused a rift in the company.”

 

“A rift,” Zarkon said as he moved to the window behind his desk, “Is not good enough. They’re still making progress on Voltron. _We_ should be the ones making the progress.”

 

Lotor rolled his eyes since his father’s back was to him. “Even when you forced Keith to work on your own version of Voltron he made hardly any progress. Before Alfor died he made sure the only company that could complete Voltron is Altea.”

 

Zarkon turned menacing eyes towards his son. His dark gray eyes almost seemed black in his anger. His stark black hair helped the overall picture of the sharp cheekbones and hard jawline. “Alfor was a fool. He didn’t see the potential in AI like Voltron.” He sat down heavily in his desk chair, “The _power_ we could have held… it would have been extraordinary.”

 

Lotor said nothing. He had known nothing in the past ten years of his life than his father’s obsession with Voltron. He had been roped into his life, just like his mother. Before she left that is. Lotor despised but admired her for having the guts to leave. He stayed for one simple reason; if he tried to leave Zarkon would kill him. He had killed people over less in the past.

 

“We need to bide our time, father.”

 

Zarkon glared at his only child. “I’ve been biding time you complete fool. For almost ten years now.” He picked up a file and started to flip through it.

 

Lotor felt a drop in his stomach when he saw his father started to stroke his chin in thought. Nothing good ever came out of that look. Now of course he didn’t fear his father, but he feared for the people that lived in the dark light that he cast. “What are you thinking?” He asked carefully, hoping not to push Zarkon into another rage.

 

“It was easy enough for us to make that idiot Kogane to ‘disappear’, it would be simple enough to do the same to the rest of the company.”

 

“But Keith is no longer in our control. If he can escape surely the rest of the Altea company could find a way as well.”

 

“And who’s fault it is that Kogane was able to escape?” Zarkon’s face started to turn an ugly shade of red. “Your _one_ job was to keep that brat from getting out. But on your watch he suddenly vanished.”

 

“I’ve told you before that he had help. There was no way he could’ve gotten out on his own.” Lotor’s head suddenly whipped back at the force of the slap his father delivered to his face.

 

The office remained deadly silent for a long moment. “I’ve raised a completely failure of a son.” Zarkon whispered venomously. “Get out of my sight. I don’t want to see you until tomorrow.”

 

Lotor recovered and refused to look at his father as he exited the office. He stalked past the empty offices and empty lobby and slammed out the front door into the chill of the gathering evening. “ _Its funny,”_ He thought bitterly, “ _Its funny how easy it would be for me to end my father, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.”_

Alfor had always been more of father figure to him that Zarkon. The two men had been friends since their college days, and once they graduated became business partners. They had started Altea together. Alfor had been Zarkon’s best man and vice versa. When Lotor was born Alfor was the first person at the hospital to congratulate his friend. Lotor had been almost two when Allura was born; there was still a picture of Lotor holding a red-faced Allura hanging in Zarkon’s home. But the friendship that once held the men together started to splinter when Alfor dreamt up Voltron.

 

He claimed it would be the most advanced form of AI the world had ever seen. Alfor wanted to use the technology for good, to bring third world countries into the modern age. “Hell Zarkon, we have a colony of humans on _Mars._ If we can get Voltron up and running then we could finally bring the world to the same phase of development.”

 

But Zarkon had other plans for the AI. He wanted to use the technology to set Altea above everyone and everything else. “Alfor, why help the world when we could _run_ it?”

 

A horrific legal battle began when Lotor was starting to enter his early twenties. He had been interning at Altea under Alfor and was greatly enjoying his time there. Two of the other interns named Shiro and Matt also seemed to like him well enough. It was a welcoming environment compared to the toxic one back home. His mother was refusing to stand up for Zarkon in the argument about Voltron. She had filed for divorce and was in the midst of moving out.

 

So when Zarkon made Lotor give up his internship with Alfor it broke his heart. He didn’t think it was smart for his father to start his own company, especially since he had no claim to Voltron.

 

It was nearly impossible to get people hired to work at Galra Tech. Zarkon had tried to go after some of the brightest minds of the century, but they had all ended up at Altea. Zarkon let his rage drive his obsession, and soon nothing else mattered to him. Voltron was more important than anyone, more important than his failing company, and more important than his own son.

 

Lotor sighed dejectedly as he wandered toward downtown. He had gone along with so many horrible and hurtful plans because he knew the second Zarkon saw a shift in Lotor’s loyalties he would end him. He had tried to do the same to Thace but he had managed to get away from that life. _“Lucky bastard.”_

A brisk wind pulled some of Lotor’s long white hair from the bun he had it in. The only reason he kept his hair this long was because it was the only feature he got from his mother. Granted Haggar wasn’t an A+ parent either, but Lotor wanted to defy his father in some way, even if it was something as small as his hair.

 

His communicator chirped from the pocket of his dark gray peacoat. He pulled it out and raised an eyebrow in surprise. Hesitantly he answered the call. “Shirogane.”

 

“Lotor, I’m glad I could reach you.”

 

“What do you want Takashi?”

 

Lotor heard a heavy sigh on the other side of the line. “We were friends once Lotor. Maybe I just want to meet up for coffee.”

 

“Nothing is that simple anymore I’m afraid.”

 

“Come on Lotor, I just want to talk. I’m only asking for thirty minutes of your time.”

 

Lotor debated his options for a minute before answering. “Fine. Where are we meeting?”

 

“The coffee shop on 10th street? Ten minutes?”

 

“See you soon.” Lotor switched directions and started to head down the block. His stomach twisted itself into painful knots. If his father found out he on his way to talk to someone from Altea, even if it was just a friendly visit like Takashi claimed, Zarkon would still find some fault in it. He would be angry that Lotor didn’t have Galra Tech in mind.

 

_“I’m just getting coffee with an old friend. That’s all.”_ He reassured himself over and over.

 

Besides, Takashi had been one of his closest friends, once upon a time. In fact he had been the one to push Shiro into telling Matt how he felt about him. Lotor remembered how irritated he had grown with the two of them, one of them just needed to take the plunge and admit their feelings.

 

All of that had happened shortly before Lotor was forced to leave Altea. He would never forgive his father for taking his friends away from him.

 

All too soon Lotor reached the designated café and nervously walked inside. He was early, since he had already been out and about. Selecting a table toward the back of the café he took his coat off and hung it over the back of his chair. His gray dress pants and black turtleneck made his pale skin stand out even more. Everything fit him to perfection of course, he may be miserable on the inside but at least he looked put together on the outside.

 

Crossing one leg over the other he tapped a single finger against the tabletop, desperately trying to keep the nerves at bay. After a five-minute wait Takashi walked into the café, glancing around until he spotted Lotor. Grinning he made his way over to the table. “Takashi.” Lotor said calmly once he was within earshot.

 

Shiro sat down and quirked a brow. “You know I hate being called that.”

 

Lotor sighed and looked out a window. “Shall we get down to whatever business it is that you called me here for?”

 

“Come on Lotor, don’t be so cynical. I’ll get the coffee. You still like iced mochas right?”

 

“Its been _years_ Takashi. Maybe my tastes have changed.”

 

“Iced mocha it is.” Shiro said as he moved away from the table.

 

“Insufferable.” Lotor mumbled to himself. Looking back out the window he noticed the wind had picked up in intensity. Walking home in this would be interesting. But he had left his car, and the keys, back at the office. And there was no way in hell he was going back there for the next few days.

 

Shiro returned a few moments later and placed Lotor’s drink in front of him. Eyeing it casually he eventually started to sip at it, a little nervous to meet Shiro’s eyes. “So,” Shiro started, “How have you been?”

 

Lotor glanced up sharply. “How have I been?”

 

Shrugging Shiro said, “It’s a simple question.”

 

Returning his gaze back to the coffee cup in front of him he swirled the straw around, melting the whipped cream into the rest of the drink. “Well,” he sighed and ran a hand over his face, “You know how father is.”

 

Shiro looked down at the intricate design in his coffee foam. “I’ve only spoken to him a few times… I was terrified every time.” He laughed softly. “He’s an intense man.”

 

Lotor send a sarcastic look his way. “At least you’re not related to him.”

 

The two men fell silent and listened to the soft jazz playing over the speakers. “By the way, happy birthday.” Shiro said quietly, sliding a small box across the table.

 

Lotor turned surprised eyes to the man sitting across from him. Then he felt his expression harden before he could stop it. “Takashi.”

 

Shiro raised his hands in a mock surrender. “I know, I know. You hate your birthday. But you don’t turn 27 everyday.” He laughed at the skeptical look Lotor had leveled him with. “Just open the damn box.”

 

Reluctantly Lotor grabbed the small box and took the bow off the top and pried open the lid. His hand shook slightly as he removed the layer of tissue paper. When he finally recognized what was in the box he turned shocked eyes to Shiro. “Takashi, there is no way I can accept this.”

 

“You can, and you will.”

 

Lotor pushed the box back across the table. “That’s Alfor’s watch. Of course I can’t take that. How do you even have it?”

 

“It was in Alfor’s will. Allura and I were going back over it the other day, just to see if there was anything that might help us with Voltron. We found the clause where he left you the watch.” Shiro pushed the box back toward him, “He wanted to give it to you personally but…” He shrugged.

 

Lotor sneered, “Why would Alfor leave his watch to some kid he hardly knew?”

 

“You were just as much a son to him as Allura was his daughter, and you know that.”

 

Lotor blinked at Shiro a few times before turning his head back toward the window, ignoring the box. Shiro let him brood for a minute before he spoke up again. “Lotor I know your family situation is… tricky. And I’m sorry the rest of us at Altea can’t be there for you. But take this gift, it was one of the last things Alfor did. He changed his will only a couple weeks before he passed away.”

 

A light mist formed in Lotor’s eyes, which irritated him immensely. He turned eyes back to Shiro and found his old friend gazing at him sympathetically. “Take the watch Lotor. Alfor wanted you to have it.”

 

He looked back at the box and gingerly picked it up and rubbed his thumb over the glass surface of the watch face. Alfor wore this watch every single day. The only time he ever took it off was to shower and sleep. He had a permanent tan line around the outline of the watch. He had replaced the leather strap to hold it on his wrist more times than Lotor could count. Taking it out of the box he flipped it over and ran a thumb across the words engraved there. _“Greatness is only a step away”._

Real tears formed in his eyes this time and he blinked them away as best he could. “Thank you, Takashi.” He looked back up at him, “Really.”

 

Shiro smiled and took a sip of his coffee. “No problem. I just wish I could do more.”

 

Lotor grinned dejectedly. “You know how father is. I’m not allowed to think about anything other than destroying your company.” He quirked a brow and gently placed the watch back in the box.

 

“About that…”

 

“And here it is, the real reason you wanted me here.”

 

“Lotor. Really. I’m not lying; Alfor wanted you to have that watch. But,” He gripped his hands together, “Its hard to avoid talking about business. Especially with the position we are both in.”

 

Lotor sighed and took another sip of the mocha. “What do you want to know?”

 

“Anything you’re willing to tell me.”

 

“About the other morning,” Lotor said as he picked at a stray thread on his shirt, “Father made me go over there to harass Lance. I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean…” He let his voice trail away.

 

“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me. Lance is the one you hurt.”

 

“I know.” Lotor ran a hand over his face, “The only reason he had me go over there in the first place was because my mother showed up and he felt,” He snapped his fingers together, “What’s the word… oh right. A failure. So he sent me over to Altea to make it seem like we still have a plan.”

 

Shrio’s brows raised in interest. “Your mother is back?”

 

“She said it was only for a couple of weeks. Really threw my father into a tizzy.”

 

“Do you know why she came back?”

 

Lotor shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. She always said she never wanted anything to do with Galra Tech, or my father for that matter. Maybe she just wanted to see him riled up.”

 

Shiro twisted the ring he wore on his non-metal thumb. “So Zarkon is grasping at straws.”

 

“Essentially. But you know that won’t stop him. He’s going to resort to ‘drastic’ measures soon.” Lotor air quoted drastic and rolled his eyes, plopping his chin into his hand.

 

“What are the drastic measures?”

 

There was that knotting feeling in his stomach again. _“You_ have _to tell him about Keith. Its his cousin for fucks sake.”_ He felt a cold sweat break out on his back. “He hasn’t told me yet. He probably thinks its better that I don’t know everything.”

 

Shiro rubbed his chin nervously. “So we are as much in the dark as you are.”

 

Lotor swallowed nervously. “He did mention something in passing…” More like he all out screamed it in Lotor’s face but Shiro didn’t need to know that.

 

“What did he say?”

 

“He mentioned something about Keith, well his disappearance. He knows what a rift it caused in the company. Who knows what he will try.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Shiro shook his hand to stop Lotor from talking. “What does he know about Keith’s disappearance?”

 

“Nothing.” Lotor felt sick to stomach for lying through his teeth. But now was not the right moment to tell Shiro that Lotor was forced to kidnap his cousin. “I would be careful Takashi. I don’t even know what my father is capable of. Lance is in so much pain,” He had to stop himself from saying ‘Because of me’, “I would hate to have any sort of similar tragedy befall any of your other friends.”

 

Shiro’s face had gone white. “He would really go to those kinds of lengths?”

 

_“He already has.”_ The bitter thought flashed through Lotor’s head. He didn’t say anything aloud, just nodded, confirming both he and Shiro’s fears. “I’ll do everything I can.” He gripped the glass tighter in his hands. The wind whistled outside, it almost seemed like a threat. “But I can’t protect all of you.”

 

Shiro reached out his metal hand and placed it gently on Lotor’s arm. “Thank you.” His eyes darted down to the table, “And… you should keep in touch. We used to be such good friends.”

 

Lotor smirked and looked back out at city. “I might just do that Takashi.”

 

***

Matt glanced up from his holoscreen when he heard the front door open. He smiled radiantly when Shiro walked in the living room. “You’re home late.”

 

Shiro collapsed on the couch next to Matt and rubbed wearily at his eyes. Matt smiled sympathetically and draped some of the blanket he had on his lap onto Shiro’s. Shiro sent a weary smile his way and closed his eyes, his flesh and blood hand teasing Matt’s hair. “What kept you out so late?”

 

“I got coffee with Lotor.” Shiro said it so casually but Matt dropped his holoscreen and barely managed to catch it before it hit the floor.

 

“You did _what?_ ” Matt questioned with disbelief.

 

Shiro cracked one eye open to look at Matt. “I know it sounds crazy, but we did use to be friends with the guy.” He closed his eye again, “Besides, Allura and I found something in Alfor’s will that we couldn’t really ignore.”

 

Matt started to play with Shiro’s hair (he knew that it was a tried and true technique to get Shiro to relax). “What did you guys find?”

 

“Alfor left his watch to Lotor. He wanted to wait until he turned 30 to give it to him, but we didn’t see a problem in giving it to him a little early.”

 

“So how is Lotor?” Matt felt a small pang in the back of his heart. He and Shiro had Lotor to thank when it came to their relationship. Sure one of them might have cracked and confessed, but who knew how long it would have taken. Lotor gave Shrio the push he needed to approach Matt. He knew he would remain grateful (and in debt) to Lotor for the rest of his life.

 

But there was always something in Lotor’s eyes that concerned Matt. It was something like a bottomless pain, or just complete nothing.

 

“He’s Lotor.” Shiro opened both his eyes and stared off into space. “Zarkon is getting worse. I didn’t say anything but I could see a bruise forming on Lotor’s cheek.”

 

Matt felt his face harden. “I always knew Zarkon was a dick, but hitting your own son? That’s a new low.”

 

Shiro nodded. “I know. But I think Lotor is too scared to leave. When he opened the box with Alfor’s watch in it he acted like it was a snake or something. The only reason Zarkon lets him have any contact with Altea is so he can try to squeeze information out of him.”

 

“I wish there was something we could do to help him.” Matt said softly.

 

Shiro leaned over until his head was resting on Matt’s stomach. Matt continued to stroke his hand through Shiro’s short black undercut and spark of white bangs. Shiro closed his eyes. “I think the only way we could Lotor would be to get rid of Zarkon.”

 

Matt quirked a brow and smirked. “You sound like a mob boss.”

 

“No, not like that,” Shiro laughed, “I mean, what if we can find a way to send him to prison or something? Then Lotor would be free.”

 

“Zarkon is the type of guy that would cover his tracks. Even if he is up to any sort of criminal activity it would be nearly impossible to expose him.”

 

Outside the winded howled, shaking the windows in Matt and Shiro’s house. Shiro began twisting at his ring again. “But if we had Lotor help us…”

 

Matt hummed. “Wouldn’t that just put him in even more danger?”

 

“You know Lotor, and plus he was raised by Zarkon. He knows a thing or two about how to keep a secret.”

 

“I guess in the end its up to Lotor. If does want our help, I’m in.”

 

Shiro gazed up at Matt with all the love he felt for him shining out of his eyes. “Thank you.” He said simply.

 

Matt touched the ring he wore on a thin chain around his neck. Shiro got them the rings for their first anniversary. They had a talk where they agreed they didn’t need to get married in order to show the world how they felt for each other. But it had been a total surprise to Matt when Shrio had gotten down on one knee and presented the rings.

 

_“Its not a marriage proposal or anything…” Shiro said, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck, “But I just wanted to get you something to show you how much you mean to me-“ He hadn’t been able to finish his sentence because Matt had thrown himself into Shiro’s arms._

_He laughed through the tears in his eyes. “Who knew you were such a big cheese.”_

_Shiro smiled and wiped away Matt’s tears with his thumbs. “Only for you.”_

“Matt,” Shiro asked, touching his chin, “You ok?”

 

“Yeah. Just thinking.” He resumed running his hand through Shiro’s hair. “Maybe we should talk to everyone else at Altea about taking down Zarkon.”

 

“I’m just worried about Lance. Lotor is definitely not his favorite person right now.”

 

Matt scratched his chin. “True. But Galra Tech has been causing us problems for years. If we were able to take Zarkon out the equation that would be one less stressor.”

 

“I’ll bring it up to Allura tomorrow, then we can call a company meeting.” Shrio threaded a hand into Matt’s hair, “Lets hope everyone else will be on board with this plan.”

 

***

Lance walked into work on yet another rainy morning, already in a sour mood. He didn’t really know why he was in a foul mood, but everything was getting on his nerves lately. His emotions seemed to go through cycles, he would spend weeks in a hideous depression, hardly eating or sleeping. Then he would phase into the “not happy but not sad enough to want to die” part. Where he wouldn’t cry himself to sleep every night but he still wouldn’t be totally “happy”. What does happy even feel like? It was hard to remember. Then came the anger phase. He would curse the fates; grow irritated at the lines at Starbucks, and even streetlights that took long too change. The smallest things would send him into a rage. He knew he was unbearable when he was like this, but there was little he could do to snap out of the funk.

 

Everyone else was already in their offices, typing away at their holoscreens. Lance debated whether he wanted to start the morning in his office or in Keith’s. Allura had been making incredible progress with Blue so everyone was counting on him to breakthrough to Red.

 

Red was probably the most stubborn lion, which made sense because he was the first lion Alfor created. Red developed extremely powerful bonds, but he was horribly selective with those bonds. It had taken Keith _months_ to even get Red to respond to him. Once he finally cracked through the entire company rejoiced. At the time it had put them one step closer to unlocking the final secrets of Voltron.

 

Lance finally decided to settle in Keith’s office. He started up the holoscreen and placed a small earpiece in his left ear. A soft growl alerted Lance that Red was awake and listening. _“Morning Red.”_ He didn’t need to speak aloud; Red could hear him through their bond.

 

An angry growl was the only response he got. _“I know I’m not the person you want to be dealing with right now, but Keith’s not here.”_

There was a long pause before Red finally answered. _“When is he coming back.”_ It wasn’t a question, just a firm statement.

 

Lance took a deep breath to keep himself composed. _“I wish I knew buddy. He might never be back.”_ He forced himself not to think about the short message stream on his communicator. He hadn’t heard anything from “Keith” for weeks now and his hope was beginning to fade again. Much as he wanted to believe it was his Keith that was sending those messages the longer he went without an update the more disheartened he became.

_“But Keith is my paladin.”_ Red growled angrily.

_“Red, I know that. But Keith has been gone for three years buddy. All the other lions are waiting for you.”_ Lance felt he was trying to reason with an angry toddler.

 

_“Blue.”_

Rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes Lance chuckled. _“You know Allura is bonding with Blue. At least Blue is willing to cooperate with us.”_

The only response Lance got was another angry growl. Slowly Red’s presence left him and he removed the earpiece. At least Red had responded to him at all. The past couple of weeks Red refused to speak to Lance.

 

A knock on the door pulled Lance from his musings. Shiro was leaning in the doorway, and amused smile on his face. “Troubles with Red?”

 

“He talked to me today at least, that’s something.”

 

“What did he say?”

 

Lance laughed ruefully. “Just complained about Keith being gone. That at least we have in common.” An awkward silence stretched into the room. “So,” Lance broke the moment, “Did you have something you needed to tell me?”

 

“Oh right,” Shrio glanced behind him as Matt walked by, offering a small wave. “We’re having a company meeting in the boardroom in twenty minutes.”

 

“What about?” Lance asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

 

Shrio rubbed the back of his neck, refusing to meet Lance’s eyes. “Its kind of hard to explain.” At the look on Lance’s face he rushed on quickly, “Don’t worry, its nothing… bad.”

 

Lance raised a brow but shrugged. “Whatever you say Shirogane.” Shrio left the doorway and Lance let the false façade drop. He couldn’t think of a single possibility of what the company meeting was going to be about. Of course his mind started to spiral to some dark options, but he tried to keep an open mind. _“I’m sure its nothing, Allura probably just wants an update on Voltron. Yeah, that has to be it.”_

 

Twenty minutes later Lance steeled himself and walked into the boardroom and recoiled instantly. “What is Lotor doing here?” He demanded.

 

***

Keith collapsed onto the bed in the guest room of Lance’s home, completely and utterly exhausted. Lance followed behind him, giggling at the state Keith was in. “Stop laughing at me.” Keith groaned into a pillow, trying to hide the fact that he was laughing too.

 

The mattress dipped as Lance settled in opposite Keith. “I told you that you’d be exhausted.”

 

Keith turned his head so that he could see Lance, their faces just inches apart. “Every muscle in my body hurts.” He was so tired that any nerves he would have felt with Lance this close seemed to disappear.

 

“You ate like a fucking horse too. My mom was horrified, but also impressed.” Lance turned onto his side, bringing their faces even closer. “That’s what the ocean does to you I guess.” His voice dropped drastically in volume. They were so close that they didn’t need to talk above a whisper.

 

“I’m sorry I ate all your moms food…” Keith fought to stay serious but soon burst into embarrassed laughter.

 

Lance laughed right along with him, and he reached out and pushed one of Keith’s shoulders, sending him dangerously close to the edge of the bed.

 

“Lance!” Keith squealed, desperately trying to regain balance before he toppled over the side of the bed. When he had steadied himself he pushed both of Lance’s shoulders, making Lance scream. In an attempt to stop himself from going over the edge Lance grabbed at Keith’s shirt, yanking the two of them together.

 

The laughter stopped instantly, both of the boys breathless and nervous. Their faces were so close that Keith’s bangs brushed against Lance’s forehead. The only sounds in the room were the gentle click of the ceiling fan and the breeze ruffling the curtains. Violet eyes pierced into blue, asking questions that they were both too scared to speak aloud.

 

Lance’s eyes grew dark and Keith could feel his heartbeat, scattered and loud.

 

“Lance!” The boys flew apart, hearts beating fast. They both blushed up to their ears, straitening their clothes. “I’m going to get some ice cream, you and Keith should come along!” Nora yelled up the stairs.

 

Keith blinked and tried to brush the moment off, but Lance did something completely unexpected. “You’re cute when you blush Samurai.” He pushed off the bed and was out the door in the next second. “Lets go!”

 

“Yeah… ok.” Keith wheezed. He took a second longer in an attempt to compose himself then darted out of the room after Lance.

 

***

Two weeks later Keith and Lance were up on Lance’s roof, staring at the stars in the night sky. Ever since the day in Keith’s room they had been a little awkward around each other, apologizing profusely if they accidently bumped into each other in the kitchen. Either that Lance would catch Keith staring, and vice versa. Both were trying to deny the underlying current they could easily feel between the two of them. Lance made sure they hung out with other people as much as possible; he was scared of what he might do if he and Keith were alone together.

 

It was exhausting keeping track of his every move though. Plus they were only two weeks into this vacation; he was scared if he kept acting weird Keith would ask to go home. And even if he was scared of what he might end up saying or doing, the last thing he wanted was for Keith to leave.

 

So one night he suggested they go out on the roof and look at the stars, “Just like Hunk and I used to do when we were kids.” He said lightly.

 

Keith agreed and here they were. It was a mostly quiet night, the occasional car or bike or group of people passing by the only noise. Though they were both staying quiet it wasn’t an awkward quiet. They were perfectly content in each other’s company.

 

“So you and Hunk used to this all the time?” Keith asked into the night.

 

“Yep, it was kind of our get away spot, even though everyone knew where it was.” Lance laughed lightly, “For some reason we could always come up here and relax. In fact this is where Hunk first suggested the idea of applying at the Garrison. We were still in middle school then.”

 

“Wow, so you guys dreamed about going there for a long time.” There was something off in Keith’s voice, making Lance’s ears perk.

 

“We did,” He decided to see if he could figure out what was bothering Keith, “We spent our entire high school careers working our asses off to get the best grades, to be involved in as many clubs as possible. We graduated top of our class but we didn’t even really care. All that mattered were the letters coming from the Garrison.”

 

Keith didn’t say anything so Lance pressed on. “Of course it was even worse when I lost my dad. No one else in my family supported me like he did. My mom was worried I was pushing myself too hard, my older brothers told me it was an impossible dream.” He felt his throat closing up but he couldn’t stop talking, “My dad passed away just before I found out I got in the Garrison. What I wouldn’t give to be able to tell him I made my dream come true.” Lance felt tears slip from his eyes and roll back into his ears. He didn’t bother wiping them away.

 

“Wow, I never knew.” Keith whispered. Lance waited, he figured if Keith was going to tell him anything it would take time. “That makes me feel like such an ass. I got into the Garrison on recommendations… and I didn’t even really want to go.”

 

“Why didn’t you want to go?”

 

Keith took a deep breath. “I don’t know… the Garrison had always been Shiro and Matt’s dream.” He blinked up at the stars, “All I wanted to do was graduate high school. I wasn’t even planning on going to college.” Lance hummed to show that he had been listening. “I kind of met Iverson by accident, and once he had met me he wouldn’t get off my back about going to the Garrison.”

 

“There must have been something that pushed you into making the choice to go.” Lance offered quietly.

 

Keith grinned for a second, “It was Shiro actually. He and Matt had been going to school there for a couple years already. He kind of guilt tripped me into it, saying it was what my parents would’ve wanted for me.” His eyes misted over and he rubbed at them, scared to show too much emotion in front of Lance.

 

“Pidge mentioned you were an orphan. I’m so sorry Keith.”

 

There were suddenly hundreds of emotions swirling through Keith. He felt anger, sadness, betrayal, and loneliness, but most of all, pain. His eyes spilled over then and he used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe them away. “I hardly remember them now, my parents.” He said through his tears. “That scares me sometimes. Like, I remember how much I loved them and how sad I was when they died. But I can’t see their faces in my mind anymore. I have to look at a picture.” His voice cracked, “How can I forget my own parents?”

 

Lance sat up in an instant and pulled Keith into a hug. Keith was a little shocked at first but he gave into the hug, gripping the back of Lance’s hood in his hands. Lance’s hands were rubbing in soothing circles on Keith’s back. “You will never completely forget your parents Keith.”

 

“I feel like I’m letting them down somehow…” He mumbled into Lance’s shoulder, shaking a little from the crying.

 

Lance’s grip tightened, “They would be so proud of you Keith. You got into one of the most exclusive schools _on the planet_ on just recommendations! Hell, you’re probably one of the best pilots of the century. What isn’t there to be proud of?”

 

More tears slipped from Keith’s eyes and he pushed away to look at Lance’s face. He was surprised to see tears streaking down his face too. “Why are you being so nice to me?” Keith said through his now clogged nose.

 

A surprised laugh ripped out of Lance’s mouth. “Because you’re one of my best friends Keith.”

 

Lance so rarely ever called him by his name now that Keith knew that this moment was a special one. He reached out and hugged Lance again, burying his face in his neck. “Thank you.”

 

They hugged for a moment too long and they quickly pulled away from each other, laughing awkwardly and wiping the last of the tears from their eyes. The laid back down on the roof, both feeling a little more content than they had before. “Hey Lance?”

 

“Yeah Keith?”

 

“Your dad would be so fucking proud of you.” He heard Lance inhale sharply. Lance didn’t reply, just grabbed one of Keith’s hands and held on like it was the only thing anchoring him to the ground.

 

***

Lotor unlocked the door to his apartment and flicked on some lights. “That was a fucking disaster Takashi. I told you it wasn’t a good idea for me to be there.” He growled angrily into his communicator.

 

“I know that meeting didn’t go quite as we had planned, but at least everyone else is on board with the plan now.”

 

“Everyone but Lance. He still hates my guts, and I don’t blame him.” He said as he slipped his black dress shoes off his feet. “Just let me know when you’re ready to move forward with the plan.” He sighed wearily into the phone.

 

“I will,” Shiro paused, “And thank you, Lotor. This is going to work out in the end, trust me.”

 

“Always the optimist.” Lotor replied dryly, ending the call. He took his coat off and hung it on the coatrack by the door and moved further into his apartment and turned on more lights. A soft meow behind him alerted him that his cat was desperate for attention. Turning around he saw Kova coming down the hall towards him. Smiling gently he picked her up and let her rub her head under his chin. “Hey girl, sorry I was gone so long today.” Kova purred in response.

 

Lotor supposed it was rather sad that one of the only companions he had was his pet cat, but he supposed he could worse. Plus Kova was the only gift his mother had ever given him. Kova was getting old as well; Lotor knew he would be an emotional wreck when she passed away.

 

But for now she was still spry and she jumped out his arms and went into the living room. Lotor smiled after her and went to the kitchen to pour a _very_ large glass of wine. Even just thinking about that train wreck of a meeting this morning gave him a headache.

 

Shiro had brought him through the backdoor of Altea so no one would see him before the meeting started. Once he was settled in the boardroom Shiro left to call the rest of the team into the meeting.

 

If Lotor’s nerves had been on edge it got even worse when the rest of the team started to trickle into the office. Matt at least sent a nod his way. Allura knew he was coming but still moved carefully around him. Their falling out had been almost as bad as their fathers. Hunk seemed nervous, but willing to participate. Pidge (Lotor couldn’t fathom where she came up with that nickname) didn’t seem bothered by his presence. The only thing she ever worried about was making further advancements for Altea.

 

But Lance, he reacted in the exact way Lotor expected him too. “What is Lotor doing here?” He had spit out, his face already growing red.

 

“Lance, before you get angry let us try to explain.” Takashi had attempted to come to his defense.

 

“Are we all forgetting he works for the competition? And that he came in here and blatantly targeted me by bringing up Keith’s disappearance?” Lance’s stormy eyes met Lotor’s and he felt himself shrink under his intense gaze.

 

Lotor swallowed thickly, “I do apologize for acting like a complete and utter ass,”

 

“Shiro, what are you even trying to do here?” Lance cut him off and sat heavily in one of the chairs around the oval shaped table.

 

Takashi nudged at his arm to get him to talk. “To put in bluntly, my father is desperate. And that scares me. There is no telling what he might try to do to this company, or the people that work here. Now that you’ve been making progress with Voltron after all these years its making him nervous.”

 

“Nervous how?” Hunk asked carefully.

 

“Well you know he got nothing from Alfor after that nasty affair of a legal battle. He left everything to Allura.” Lotor met her eyes briefly and she offered a small smile, “So when Zarkon left Altea he left with nothing. He started Galra Tech in ashes, and that is where it is headed again.”

 

Matt pulled his hair in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck, “We’ve heard rumors that the company was failing, I didn’t think it was true though.”

 

Lotor crossed his arms over his chest, “More than failing. We haven’t made a decent sale in over a year. All the other employees have long since left. So naturally Zarkon thinks his only option is Voltron. And at this point I wouldn’t put it past him that he would do _anything_ to get his hands on it.”

 

“But we haven’t even fully completed the work we need to get done in order for Voltron to become active.” Allura said, sounding more than a little irritated.

 

“My father is perfectly aware of that, but you all know he bonded with the black lion. Just because Takashi is bonded with Black now doesn’t mean Zarkon can’t come in and reclaim his bond. If he got Black back on his side then I’d assume the rest of the lions would be quick to follow.” Lotor looked around the table and watched as the expressions of everyone around the table dropped. Expect for Lance that is, he was still glaring at him.

 

Matt tapped a finger to his chin, deep in thought. “So what should we do?”

 

“That is an excellent question,” Shiro replied dryly, “The answer is simple enough, but the execution is going to be the difficult part.”

 

“What are you proposing?” Hunk questioned.

 

“We’re going to take down Galra Tech, and my father.” Lotor said without any emotion. “I’ve been trying to do this on my own for over two years now, but I can’t do it alone.” He raised his eyes back up to the other adults in the room, “I need your help. If you’re willing to offer it to me.”

 

The atmosphere in the room changed dramatically. Everyone was still skeptical, that much Lotor could see, but he also saw interest brimming in their hearts. “So what’s the plan then?” Pidge asked, taking out a notebook and pen, ready to take notes.

 

“Lotor is going to be our inside man. Whatever information he can get to us about Zarkon’s next plan he is going to give us. We’re going to try and be one step ahead of him.” Shiro informed.

 

“But can Zarkon’s plans really be that bad? What could be possibly do?” Allura asked.

 

Lotor sighed and looked at Shiro. He only nodded. “He wants to get rid of Altea entirely. Not to just take down the company, but to get rid of all you in the process.”

 

Everyone in the room fell into silence. Hunk took one of Allura’s hands. “Get rid of us how?” Lance asked skeptically.

 

_“Well at least he said something other than his deep undying hatred of me.”_ Lotor thought bitterly. He looked at Shiro again and swallowed all his fears. “Takashi, there is something I did lie to you about.”

 

“Typical.” Lance offered sarcastically.

 

Shiro sent him a look. “Lance, at least try to cooperate.” He then turned his attention back to Lotor, “What didn’t you tell me?”

 

Inhaling shakily Lotor fiddled with the watch he now wore on his left wrist, “My father… he, he assisted in Keith’s disappearance.”

 

The only sound in the room was Lance’s quick intake of breath. “Your son of a bitch father did _what?”_ He practically screeched. Lance was up and out of his chair in a spilt second, advancing toward Lotor.

 

Matt scrambled out his chair and put a hand on his younger friends chest. “Lance, don’t do anything you’d regret.”

 

“Something I’d regret, Matt?” Lance laughed, but it full of anger and hate, “I’m going to rip Zarkon to a thousand little pieces.” His hands started to shake. “Why did Zarkon take Keith?” He demanded.

 

“I don’t know.” Lotor felt the lie slide up his throat like a snake, “I didn’t even know about it until several weeks ago.”

 

“So you know what happened to him?” Lance questioned desperately.

 

Lotor turned his eyes back to the watch, begging Alfor’s spirit for strength. “All I know is that Zarkon kidnapped him and held him… somewhere.” He noticed the look on Lance’s face and held up a hand, “I don’t know where.”

 

Lance threw his hands in the air in frustration. “Of course, this is just great.” He stalked back to his chair and threw himself in it, tears gathered in his eyes. “So are you saying Zarkon still has him?”

 

“No. Keith managed to escape about two years ago.”

 

“He, he what?” Lance asked shakily.

 

Lotor felt the pain in Lance’s voice and it made his heart clench. “According to my father someone aided Keith in escaping.”

 

Lance blinked and glanced around the room in disbelief. “So why didn’t he come back to me?” The agony in his voice ripped into everyone’s hearts.

 

“I don’t know Lance, I wish I could tell you more.” At least Lotor wasn’t lying about this, Keith really did escape, but he had no idea where he went, or why he was still MIA.

 

Pidge had gotten up out of her seat and was rubbing Lance’s back. The man in question had dropped his face into his hands and the soft sound of his crying was one of the only sounds in the room. Just as Shiro was about to say something Lance stood, knocking Pidge away from him. “I’m sorry,” He said a little frantically, “I need to go home.” With that he rushed out the room. Hunk and Allura exchanged a look and in a flash Hunk was out the door to follow Lance.

 

“I’m so sorry…” Lotor offered sadly, wishing he could have gone about that whole situation differently.

 

“Everybody else, take the rest of the day off.” Allura said calmly as she stood and straightened her skirt. “We can discuss the rest of the plan at a later date.”

 

Everyone else filed out of the room, save Shiro and Lotor. Lotor dropped his face into his hands and shook his head. “I’m sorry I lied Takashi. I didn’t know what else to do.”

 

Shiro placed a hand on Lotor’s shoulder. “I’m not happy with you right now, that much is true.” He sighed heavily, “But I can’t blame you for the position we put you in.” He geared up his soul for the question he about to ask, “What did your father do to Keith?”

 

Wearily Lotor raised his eyes to Shiro’s. “I don’t know a lot of the details, but… it wasn’t good.”

 

Anger formed behind Shiro’s eyes and he removed his hand from Lotor’s shoulder and gritted his teeth together. “Son of a _bitch._ ” He slammed his metal hand on the tabletop, making Lotor jump. Shiro didn’t look at him again as he moved out the room. “We’ll talk soon.”

 

So Lotor had left Altea, drove home with tears coursing down his face. He should have never picked up Shiro’s call last week. He had sat out in his car for a long time and was shocked out of his reprieve when Shiro had called him.

 

Laughing dismally Lotor pulled away from his thoughts and poured that glass of wine. He went and found his cat in his living room and pulled her back onto his lap and stroked her black and blue fur. “At least you don’t hate me.” He said quietly, raising his glass in a silent toast to all the mistakes he’s made.

 

***

_You’ve been gone for three fucking years, and now Lotor tells us that you’ve been free for almost two years and you haven’t come home?_

Keith’s eyes widened at the message that appeared on his communicator’s screen. _“Lotor? He told them what? Why has Lance been talking to_ Lotor?” Keith picked up the communicator to comply a message but another one stopped him.

 

_If this is Keith that I’m talking to, do you have_ any _idea how hard it’s been for me?_

Message after message flashed across the screen, filling Keith’s eyes with helpless tears.

 

_I don’t understand… why would you stay away?_

_What did I do?_

_Why won’t you come home?_

A sob ripped from Keith as he sent a single message that ripped his heart and soul from his body.

 

_I can’t_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, yep still stressed about season 6 and I had a day off work so I sat down and pounded out this chapter. 
> 
> I wanted to come at this chapter from a little bit a different angle, hence Lotor being the primary focus. (I really do love Lotor, but I'm so scared he might betray the team in the series. I'm PRAYING he gets a Zuko arch and doesn't turn out to be a complete asshole) 
> 
> Also, Lance can talk to Red. We're learning more and more about Voltron with every chapter.
> 
> See you soon my friends!


	10. Testing the Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Garrison memories... once again, beware Rolo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEEYYYOOOO all. It has been awhile, hasn't it? Lol season 6 destroyed me. There are some spoilers for season 6 in my notes at the end of the chapter so if you haven't the new season DON'T READ THOSEEEE
> 
> Happy reading

The air-conditioner clicked on noisily, disturbing the awkwardly quiet room. Lance fiddled with the excess string from his drawstring gray joggers and closed his eyes. It was humid today, he could physically feel his hair start to poof up and curl at the ends. His hair only ever had the chance to curl like this when he let it grow out. He supposed he probably needed a haircut but he couldn’t be bothered to care.

 

“So Lance,” Coran’s desk chair creaked as he leaned back further in the chair, “Is there any reason you decided to come in and see me today?” Lance opened his eyes wearily and met the eyes of his psychiatrist. Coran watched as he opened his mouth and closed it again. Coran tried to meet the young mans eyes but he was looking out the window behind his head. “We ended our sessions several months ago, I have to admit I was surprised to hear from you again.”

 

The cool air streaming from the vents fluttered some papers on Coran’s desk. Lance groaned and rubbed at his eyes. “I needed to tell someone about the messages. And I know you can’t tell anyone else…”

 

Coran’s interest peaked and he leaned toward his desk and grabbed a pen and a pad of paper. “Messages?”

 

Lance didn’t answer, just pulled his communicator out of the pocket of his joggers and slid it across the desk toward Coran. He drew in a nervous breath and started to pick at the skin around one of his thumbs.

 

Sending a weary look in Lance’s direction Coran picked up the slim orange device and started to skim through a message stream Lance had pulled up. His eyes widened as he read message after message. Lance felt his heart rate accelerate dangerously and he bit his lip.

 

Just as Coran was feeling some hope for Lance blossom in his chest his heart fell as he reached the last few messages that had been exchanged.

 

**_Why won’t you come home?_ **

 

_I can’t_

 

**_What do you mean you can’t? Keith, of course you can come home_ **

Read at 8:09 P.M.

**_Keith? Please… we all miss you_ **

Read at 8:12 P.M.

**_Don’t shut me out right now_ **

Read at 8:31 P.M.

 

_Lance, you don’t understand. I would put you_ all _in danger_

**_You already told me Altea was in danger_ **

**_Staying away isn’t going to help anything_ **

_Zarkon is too dangerous_

_Please try to understand…_

_I can only come back when my work is finished_

Read at 9:13 P.M.

 

_Lance?_

**_Then let me help you_ **

Coran looked up at Lance in disbelief. “How can you be certain this is Keith?” He asked carefully.

 

Sighing Lance rolled his eyes and stroked his chin. “Its Keith.” He said so quietly Coran almost didn’t hear him.

 

Throughout the years that Coran had been treating Lance he had come to know him extremely well. He had suffered from mental illnesses from a very young age, but despite that Lance had grown into a passionate and powerful young man. He had first started to treat Lance when the boy started working at Altea. Most of Lance’s fears centered on thinking he wasn’t good enough to work at Altea, that all the other employees outshone him. In time Coran had been able to coax those fears from the young mans heart.

 

One thing that had never failed to make Coran’s worries dissipate was just how dedicated and just how _in love_ Lance was with Keith. Whenever Lance had come in for appointments he always had a funny or heartwarming story about Keith to tell. Keith was one of the strongest pillars in Lance’s life, and from the way Lance talked about him, he knew Keith needed Lance in his life just as much Lance needed Keith in his. So when he had gone missing, it nearly destroyed Lance.

 

Coran recalls when he got a call from the hospital in town; a nurse quietly informing him that Lance was in the hospital due to an attempted suicide. He had sped across town to get to the hospital and found Lance sitting dismally in his hospital bed, staring at the wall opposite the bed.

 

All of Lance’s friends and family, Coran included, all feared Lance would attempt something like that again. Coran worked the hospital on a treatment plan, and much to everyone’s relief, Lance did seem to get… “better”. But the man Coran treated after that incident was a former shell of the bright and happy man Coran had once known.

 

After several more months of appointments Lance informed Coran he wanted to end their sessions. “Its nothing against you Coran, but this just isn’t helping.”

 

“I completely understand my boy, but if you ever need anything, anything at all, just give me a call.”

Coran had to admit that he was surprised when Lance had called to set up an appointment; he feared Lance was heading down the same path of darkness that had almost ended his life. But instead, here he sat, staring at his patient that seemed much more calm than Coran himself felt.

 

“I know this all seems… random. But I _know_ its Keith. I know it is.” Lance said with a little more conviction than before.

 

“When did you receive the first message?”

 

“A couple of months ago.” Lance hesitated before continuing, “I got it after a particularly… bad spell.”

 

“How can you be certain it is Keith?” Coran asked. He handed the communicator back to Lance. He took it in his hands and stared bleary eyed at the messages on the screen.

 

He exhaled heavily and put the communicator back in his pocket. “I knew from the first message.”

 

“But how?”

 

“He called me sharpshooter. No one else has _ever_ called me that. Only Keith did, _does.”_ Lance corrected himself.

 

Coran sighed and tapped his pen against his notepad. “I know how badly you want to believe that this is Keith, but Lance you may need to consider,”

 

Lance cut him off, clearly frustrated. He pulled the sleeve of his light blue long sleeved t-shirt to reveal the word “Samurai” etched into his skin. “Do you remember when I got this tattoo?”

 

Coran nodded. “Then you remember when I showed you the one Keith got. He got “Sharpshooter”. One of the only nicknames he would ever call me. And I got “Samurai” because no one else called him that either.” He yanked his sleeve back down and sat back in his chair, “Of course our friends knew we called each other by those nicknames, but they knew it was _our_ thing. So of course it’s Keith… it can’t be anyone else.”

 

Another long passage of quiet stretched through the room. Lance sighed again, “Coran, please. You’ve got to believe me.”

 

Coran deliberated for only a moment longer before speaking. “I believe you Lance. But I am worried for you.”

 

Coran watched as Lance deflated into his chair, relived that Coran had decided to trust him. “I’m more scared for Keith. He won’t tell me what happened to him, why he disappeared. Lotor told us that Zarkon was behind it, but we don’t really have any solid proof.” He fell silent for a minute. “When I think of what he could have gone through…”

 

“Lance, as much as it pains me to think about that as well that is all in the past now. What you might do now or in the future is what concerns me.”

 

He didn’t answer, just tugged on the string of his joggers again. “Earlier you said you had to tell someone about the messages, does this mean your friends and family don’t know about them?”

 

“You’re the only person I’ve told.” Coran blinked. “What, Coran?”

 

“Why haven’t you told your friends?”

 

Lance carded a hand into his hair and clenched his fist in it. “How can I? What good would that do anyone?”

 

Uncrossing his legs Coran leaned across his desk, “Because Keith is their family too.”

 

The blue eyes looking back at him filled with tears. “I know that,” Lance’s voice cracked, “I do. But how can I tell them that Keith only contacted me? Me, even above his cousin? And what if I do tell them, and that somehow ruins Keith’s plans because we all start running around with posters and police trying to track him down?” Lance gulped and wiped furiously at his eyes, “What if I tell them, give them all hope again, and something happens to Keith? What if he gets killed? I would have only told them to have their hearts ripped out again.”

 

Coran found himself taken aback by the passionate speech Lance had just spewed out. This wasn’t the first time he had been shocked by an action Lance had taken to protect Keith. Distantly he recalled the incident with Rolo, but he knew that wasn’t important right now. “So what do you plan to do, my boy?”

 

“God, I wish I knew. I’m waiting for Keith to tell me what to do.” He dropped his head over the back of his chair, gazing up at the ceiling. “But recently Altea has decided to join up,” Lance air quoted the words ‘join up’, “With Lotor. Apparently he wants to help us.”

 

“Help you how?”

 

“We all know his father is a walking piece of shit, Zarkon never has treated Lotor the way a father should. I think Lotor finally wised up and realized that too.” Lance brought his head back up to meet Coran’s eyes, “Not that I’m happy about it. I’ve never liked that guy anyways.”

 

Coran tapped a foot lightly against the carpeted floor of his office. “Honestly Lance, I am quite at a loss for words here. It was difficult for you to accept that Keith was gone, but now I’m afraid knowing that he is alive will drive you forward with a blind hope that could get you hurt as well.”

 

“Trust me, I know how absolutely fucking ridiculous this all sounds, I didn’t want to believe it at first either.” Lance clenched his jaw, “But you know how important Keith is to me. How important he will _always_ be. So I have to do this, there wasn’t ever any other choice.”

 

Chuckling Coran placed his pen and notebook paper back down on his desk and stroked a hand over his chin. “I admire your passion. But I still don’t know how I’m supposed to help you in this situation.”

 

Lance shrugged as he stood up and headed for the door. “I could always talk to you in the past, and I couldn’t hold that secret in any longer.” He glanced back at Coran, “But I’m trusting you to keep this between us. I know how much of a dick move this is. But I’m just trying to protect everyone.”

 

“Of course you can trust me. If you need to talk again you know what number to call.”

 

Lance smiled softly and pulled the door open, “Thank you.”

 

As the door shut behind him Coran stroked his mustache and sighed heavily. “While you’re busy protecting everyone else who is going to protect you?”

 

***

“Pidge I swear TO GOD if you push off this godforsaken bike one more time!” Hunk yelled, sounding more amused than irritated.

 

“Its not my fault this sidewalk is so narrow!” Pidge called back to him, laughing hysterically.

 

Keith and Lance followed behind the other two on foot, trying desperately not to laugh along with Pidge.

 

It was the final week of their four-week vacation from the Garrison, and once they returned to the school they would attend Matt and Shiro’s graduation ceremony, and then begin their second year at the school. Pidge had arrived by plane the day before and she had been having a grand time asking thousands of questions about California’s climate and technology.

 

Hunk and Pidge were racing now, pulling away from the two boys walking behind them. Ever since the night on Lance’s roof the boys seemed more comfortable around each other and closer than ever before. Lance’s family noticed all the warm glances and smiles, the “accidental” touches, the laughter that could be heard from Lance’s room until the wee hours of the morning.

 

No one said anything to the boys; they seemed completely oblivious to what was happening between them.

 

Keith took a deep breathe of the salty ocean air and tugged his hair into a ponytail. “It’s going to be nearly impossible to leave on Friday.”

 

“You’re telling me.” Lance laughed, “Going back to the Garrison’s schedule will probably kill me.”

 

“It’ll be weird without Matt and Shrio around.”

 

Lance took in Keith’s profile, watching the way the setting sun caught in his hair. “They won’t be so far away, we’re only an hour away from Altea Inc.”

 

Keith hummed. “You’re right, and I mean Shiro and I have lived without each other before, but… he’s my brother, ya know?”

 

Lance felt his heart swell in his chest. He looked away before Keith could catch him staring. “I know what you mean. When my older brothers moved away it felt like there was a hole in my heart or something.”

 

It was Keith’s turn to stare at Lance now. Even though they had only been in California for about a month, his skin had already grown darker, the freckles on his face and shoulders harder to distinguish from the rest of his skin. It also made his blue eyes stand out even more, almost giving them an unnatural shine. He was so glad he had come on this trip with Lance. Not only were they finally comfortable around each other, but to Keith at least, they seemed to be almost… bonded. “Your family is really cool.” Keith said quietly. He meant it too; Lance’s family was incredibly tightknit. They all stood up for one another but were also able to annoy and tease each other. And even though much of the family lived away from home now, they made sure to stay in contact with one another. Distantly Keith wondered what his life would be like if his own parents hadn’t died. He always would have been an only child, his mother suffered some serious complications when Keith had been born, and it would have been extremely dangerous for her to try and other children.

 

But what would Keith be like? Would he be like his father? He had inherited his fathers love for flying, and content with a simple life. But he also had his mother’s fiery temper and sense of adventure. Would he have gone to the Garrison at all? Or would he have become a pilot like he wanted when he was a child?

 

Lance almost seemed to sense what he was thinking because he bumped his shoulder lightly against Keith’s. “I would have liked to meet your parents too.”

 

Keith felt his throat tighten. “I don’t remember too much about them now, but I do remember how adventurous my mom was, and how much my dad loved to fly. My aunt and uncle told me they met when they were in college. They were married right after they graduated. I came along four years later.”

 

Lance hadn’t moved away from Keith’s shoulder, he shoved his hands in his pockets and ignored the way their elbows kept brushing together. “So you don’t have any brothers or sisters?”

 

“No. My mom couldn’t have any other kids.” He looked down at his black converse and sighed, “But they were thinking about adopting before, well you know. The accident.”

 

The boys fell silent again and listened to the distant sounds of their friends laughing. As if he was on autopilot Lance took his left hand out of his shorts pocket and gently laced his fingers through Keith’s right hand.

 

Time stood still for a second before Keith felt like he could breathe normally. “I know I’ve said this before,” Lance said calmly, “But I know your parents would be proud of you.” He lightly squeezed Keith’s hand. Keith turned his head and found Lance already looking at him, a small smile lighting up his face.

 

He felt himself smiling back just as softly and he had to turn away before he did something stupid. But he did squeeze Lance’s hand back.

 

“Hurry up slowpokes!” Pidge yelled, far ahead of them, “The Surf Shack is only open for ten more minutes!”

 

Lance rolled his eyes and laughed fondly. “We should probably catch up with them, huh?”

 

Keith brushed his thumb over Lance’s knuckles, “The Surf Shack will still be there if they get there before us.”

 

Lance felt a grin spread across his face, as well as a blush. “Flawless logic, Mullet.”

 

***

The flight back to the Garrison was long and boring. Hunk and Pidge argued for almost thirty minutes over what movie to watch. They both fell asleep ten minutes after the opening credits. Even though he was sunburnt and exhausted, Keith felt better than he had in a long time.

 

As it turned out Lance was scared of flying in jets, and Keith found it absolutely hilarious. “Wait, wait,” Keith wheezed between laughing, “So you’re going to the Garrison to study being a pilot and you hate flying in big jets?”

 

Lance glared and fought back a smile, “Yes, ok. You insensitive monster.”

 

Keith sensed Lance was over joking about it and calmed his laughing and poked at Lance’s arm. “Why are you scared of jets?”

 

The other boy clenched his jaw and gripped his hands a little tighter together. “I don’t know, I guess when I’m flying the simulator or an actual fighter then _I’m_ the one that is control of the situation.” His blue eyes darted frantically darted around the plane, “But here, I’m just in a giant metal tin can floating through the sky.”

 

_Attention passengers, this is your pilot speaking. We are about to take off, so please buckle your seatbelts. We will be landing in Seattle in approximately 2 hours. Please enjoy the flight._

Keith buckled his seatbelt and watched as Lance tightened his even further. His eyes softened and he gently pried one of Lance’s hands off the belt and held it in his hand. “Just imagine this is the simulator. Pretend you’re flying with someone you trust.” Keith said as the jet began to taxi down the runway.

 

The grip Lance had on his hand tightened significantly when they felt the plane slowly rise up off the runway and coast into the sky.

 

_We have reached cruising altitude; you are now free to move about the plane._

Keith glanced over at Lance and smirked, “See, not so bad is it sharpshooter?”

 

Lance blinked a few times before looking over at Keith and grinning, “Yeah, I guess. Not so bad after all.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled one leg underneath him, never letting go of Keith’s hand. “Wanna watch a movie Mullet?”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Lance hadn’t lasted long into their movie either; he was now dead asleep, his head resting on Keith’s shoulder. Keith could feel himself blushing anytime another passenger passed by their seats. He shouldn’t feel this self-conscious; Lance was asleep for fucks sake. But…

 

He angled his head so he could watch Lance sleep. The cheek he had resting on his shoulder was mushed up, rather adorably Keith had to admit. His stupidly dark and long eyelashes were smudges against his freckled cheeks. Keith sighed and reached out and gently touched one cheek, praying to god he wouldn’t accidently wake him.

 

“So you two are getting pretty serious, huh?” A small voice asked from across the isle.

 

Keith started and ripped his hand away from Lance’s face. To his utter embarrassment and horror he noticed Pidge had woken up and was watching him with a small smile. “Wh- what do you mean?” He stammered.

 

Pidge gestured with her shoulder at the two boys sitting across from her. “You and Lance.”

 

It took a second for Keith’s brain to catch up with what Pidge was insinuating. When he realized what she meant he blushed furiously and shook his head. “It’s not like that.”

 

Pidge took her glasses off and quirked one brow. “What do you mean? Hunk and I could hardly get a word in edgewise when you two were together.”

 

Keith hadn’t expected those words to hurt as badly as they did. He kept his voice quiet, just in case Lance woke up. “I think it’s a pretty one-sided thing I got going on here.” He turned away from Pidge to stare at his own hand, which was still tangled with Lance’s.

 

“You two are blind.” She grumbled, settling back down in her seat to go back to sleep.

 

_“_ I’m _not blind.”_ Keith thought sadly, _“I know exactly how I feel about Lance, and how he feels about me. There is no way he wants anymore out of this than friendship.”_ Tears pricked at his eyes so he shut them tightly. A minute later he pried his eyes open to look back down at the boy sleeping on his shoulder. _“But god, I wanna tell you so bad.”_ Feeling drained and defeated Keith carefully leaned his head against Lance’s and closed his eyes, slowly stroking his thumb along Lance’s knuckles.

 

***

“Congrats brother.” Keith said into Shiro’s shoulder. They were standing outside the main auditorium at the Garrison. Shiro and Matt had received their diplomas only minutes before and were now already thinking about the next big adventure, interning at Altea Incorporated.

 

Shiro hugged him back just as tight. “You sure you’re going to be fine here on your own?” He asked as he pulled away, wiping at his eyes.

 

Shiro watched his cousin shrug and then meet eyes with someone behind him. By the way Keith lit up it wasn’t hard to guess it was probably Lance. Shiro stole a glance behind him and it was indeed Lance that was smiling at his cousin, and making his way through the crowd toward them. “I think I’ll manage.” Keith said, returning his attention back to his cousin. Their aunt and uncle were around somewhere; Keith figured they were still making their way out of the auditorium, since they let professors and students out first.

 

Lance had finally waded through the mass of students to Keith and Shiro’s sides. He roughly bumped Keith with a hip and laughed as he struggled for balance. Keith glared at him but was unsuccessful in hiding his smile. Lance stuck his hand out in Shiro’s general direction. “Congratulations Mr. Shirogane.” He said dramatically.

 

Shiro ignored Lance’s hand and pulled him into a hug instead, and Keith laughed at the startled expression on Lance’s face.

 

“Keith! Keith!” Pidge shouted, dragging Matt along behind her. Keith grinned at Matt and turned his back on his cousin and Lance for a minute.

 

Pulling out of the hug Lance smiled at Shiro. “Seriously though, congrats man. Second in the class. That is fucking incredible.”

 

“I knew I wouldn’t hold a candle to Matt once we got here.” Shiro directed a soft glance at Matt. “He’s the truly incredible one.” Lance quirked a brow and crossed his arms. “What?” Shiro asked.

 

“You, my friend, are completely blind.”

 

“How do you mean?”  


“That you’re in love with Matt and have spent the last year hopelessly pining over him when he feels the same way.” Lance said casually, shrugging.

 

Shiro’s mouth opened in shock and he glanced behind Lance to make sure Matt hadn’t heard him. “How did you know?” He asked in defeat.

 

“Shiro, come on. The puppy dog eyes? Watching him from across the room and thinking no one notices you?” Lance chuckled, “You got it bad man.”

 

Blushing Shiro tugged at the hem of his graduation gown, “That obvious huh?” Lance nodded. “But how could you possibly know how he feels?”

 

“Because he does all the same things.” Lance answered easily. “Though I love to watch you two pine like idiots, I think it’s about time you told him.” At Shiro’s worried look Lance punched his metal arm. “I promise it’ll all work out fine.”

 

Shiro smiled at the younger boy. Keith laughed behind them and he watched as Lance turned toward the sound and smiled. _“Maybe this kid should take his own advice.”_ Shiro chuckled and put a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Can I ask you to do something for me?”

 

Lance returned his attention back to Shrio and frowned slightly. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing is wrong, believe me. I just wanted to ask you to watch out for my cousin.”

 

A blush crept up Lance’s neck and ears. “Keith can take care of himself,” He said shyly.

 

Shiro grinned, “I know that. He’s been tougher than nails since he was eight years old.” Shiro grew a little more serious. “He had to be. For a long time he was on his own. It was so hard for him to open up to other people, to make friends.” Keith laughed again as Hunk pulled Pidge, Matt and Keith into a monster bear hug. “I don’t know what you did, but I haven’t seen Keith this happy in a long time.”

 

“I haven’t done _that_ much.” Lance felt his face heating up in embarrassment.

 

“Oh, but you have. So, just look out for him, ok? I do worry about him. I want him to keep laughing and smiling like that. It’s been too long.” Shiro met Lance’s eyes. “So, can you do that for me?”

 

After a pause Lance hesitantly nodded. “Good.” Shrio responded, making his way over to Matt. Lance turned around to watch him go, and then looked over at Keith. He was nodding at whatever Hunk had just said. He must have sensed someone looking at him because he met Lance’s eyes. He waved Lance over and waited till Lance was at his side.

 

“My aunt and uncle are taking Shiro and out for dinner, but they said I could invite whoever I wanted. Hunk, Lance, do you wanna come?” Keith asked the small group.

 

Hunk rubbed a hand along the back of his neck, “I would but Pidge invited me out with her family already.”

 

Keith shrugged lightly and turned to Lance. “Wanna come?”

 

The blush Lance had fought off returned slowly to his face. “I don’t want to intrude on family stuff…”

 

Keith rolled his eyes dramatically and grinned. “I said pretty much the same thing when you invited me on vacation. You wouldn’t be intruding.” Hunk and Pidge watched the exchange with interest. Pidge elbowed Hunk and raised her brows at Hunk and winked. Hunk covered his mouth with a hand to hide the fact that he was giggling.

 

Lance gave him and sighed, “Alright, I’ll come.”

 

Keith’s eyes lit up. “Cool.”

 

***

Rolo heard voices in his dorm room before he opened the door. _“Keith never has people over. What the hell is going on?”_ He thought bitterly. To his surprise when he opened the door he was greeted by the sight of Keith sitting on his bed, Lance’s head resting on one of his legs.

 

“Christ, Mullet. If I thought first year courses were hard…” Lance was wheezing through his laughter.

 

Keith was doubled over himself, clutching at his stomach. Rolo had hardly seen the guy smile, let alone laugh that hard. Keith sat up slowly and wiped his eyes, finally noticing someone else was in the room. “Oh.” He said disinterestedly, “Hey Rolo.”

 

Rolo walked over to his desk and began looking for the book he needed to study with. “Hey.” He grumbled.

 

“Hey Rolo.” He heard Lance’s voice, “Sucks we don’t have the simulation course together this year.”

 

He turned to face Lance and smirked sadly. “I know. My new flight partner is someone named Joe. _Joe.”_ He reveled in the fact that he was able to make Lance laugh.

 

Lance turned his eyes up towards Keith. “What about that guy in our flight class? What was his name again?” Lance asked, already giggling.

 

Keith bit his lip in an attempt not to laugh. “Karl.”

 

“KARL!” Lance bellowed, gripping at his stomach, “Don’t forget that he spells it with a ‘K’.” Lance said between laughs.

 

Rolo felt his stomach turn and he left the room without another word. Lance finally calmed down and looked back up at Keith, “He’s just a barrel of laughs, huh?”

 

Keith shrugged and leaned his head against the wall. “I don’t think he likes me that much.”

 

Lance tugged gently at the hair on the back of Keith’s neck. “Oh poor thing,” He teased, “Not just _everyone_ is going to find you as irresistibly charming as I do.”

 

Smothering a laugh Keith swatted at Lance’s head, “You suck.”

 

***

Later that same night Rolo came back to the room to find it dark, Keith curled up asleep in bed. Rolling his eyes he prepared for bed, feeling jealously swirling in his gut. Not only did he not have a _single_ class with Lance this year, pretty much the only time he got to see him he was draped all over Keith, looking at him like Keith hung the moon itself.

 

Crawling into bed he flipped around so he was facing Keith’s side of the room. “Keith.” He said. No response. “Keith.” He tried again, louder this time.

 

The lump in the bed across from his groaned. “What time is it?” He croaked.

 

“Like 3 A.M.”

 

Keith groaned again, rolling over to face the wall. “Whadda want Rolo?” He asked sleepily.

 

“Are you and Lance a thing now?”

 

It took longer for Keith to reply than Rolo thought. “No. Why do you ask?”

 

Rolo rolled over onto his back and crossed his arms under his head. “Come on, you two act like an old married couple.”

 

“We’re just friends.”

 

A grin spread across Rolo’s face. “Remember when I told you to stay away from him?” He heard Keith sit up in bed and start to protest.

 

“Lance is my friend,” He sputtered, “And why do you even care?”

 

“You know I have a thing for him.” His roommate remained quiet, seething most likely. “I just wanted to make sure you two weren’t like, official or anything.”

 

“I told you Lance is straight.” Keith said a little desperately.

 

Rolo felt himself laughing. “Oh please. He’s got to be _at least_ bi, what with the way he looks at you.” Again Keith didn’t respond. “Its not like I’m trying to deflower your precious Lance or anything. And if you two aren’t official then you should have no problem with me trying.”

 

Keith lay back down, his heart racing painfully. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” He struggled against the curses he wanted to spew at Rolo. “But Rolo?”

 

“What, Keith?” He asked, clearly irritated.

 

“If you hurt him I swear to god I’ll kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL SO. SEASON 6. IT WAS SO FLIPPING GOOD. KEITH. JUST KEITH. AND I SWEAR TO GOD SOMEONE NEEDS TO GIVE LANCE A HUG OR I WILL SCREAM. 
> 
> But seriously, season 6 is probably my favorite season (besides season 3, the season of our lord and savior Klance). It all just so good. 
> 
> Also, addressing the Lotor issue. I love Lotor, I really do. I wanted so much better for him, but I can't say that I'm surprised he ended up betraying the team. Though last chapter I wrote him as a much more sympathetic character. (Which he is in the show really, considering who his parents are. They "raised" him to be a confused asshat). So in light of season 6, I have no idea where I want to take Lotor's character. That was another reason it took so long for this chapter to come out. I've been heavily deliberating for WEEKS now. 
> 
> Anyways I hope to have the next chapter up very soon! I know this one was probably kinda boring, but it was one of those awkward in-between chapter that I had to write before I got to some dramatic shit. 
> 
> See you guys soon!


	11. Nope, Don't Remember, Didn't Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more bonding moments and a deeper look into Keith's disappearance

_Simulation passed. Please exit the simulator for further evaluation._

Lance released his sweating hands from the simulators controls and slumped back in his seat, sighing with relief. The simulations from first year kicked his ass, but with Keith’s help and constant studying and practicing, he was finally starting to pass the flight simulations.

 

Unbuckling his seatbelt he ran a hand through his hair and exited the simulator, surprised to be greeted by applause from his classmates. He met Keith’s eyes and shrugged, a little embarrassed. “Excellent job, Cadet McClain.” Iverson said, clapping him on the back. “You’ve made drastic improvement from last year. I see now that it was not a mistake to move you into the more advanced flight course.”

 

Lance felt himself blushing and reeling from the comment. It was just like Iverson to compliment a student, but at the same time make sure they knew their place. “Alright, that wraps up class for the week. I expect you all bright and early on Monday morning for your midterm exams.” Iverson droned as his students slowly streamed from the room. He watched as Keith greeted Lance with a smile. The boys exchanged words but Iverson wasn’t able to make it out from where he was standing. “Kogane.” He said, waiting until Keith turned his attention to him, “A moment please?”

 

Groaning internally Keith turned to Lance. “Its ok, I’m gunna shower and I’ll meet up with you when you’re done.” Lance said easily, shaking out his sweaty hair. He reached out a hand to ruffle Keith’s hair, laughing the whole time.

 

Ducking away from Lance’s hand Keith fought a grin. “Ok. I’ll see you soon. Tell Hunk and Pidge if they leave without me I’ll poison their food.”

 

“Christ Mullet, I wouldn’t have pegged you as the murdering type.” Lance laughed, heading out the classroom.

 

Keith felt his stomach twist a little nervously as he made his way back over to Iverson. “Sir?” He said simply. Iverson motioned for Keith to follow him, leading him back behind the simulator and toward the staff door.

 

“Making friends I see.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“McClain has improved quite a bit from last year, hasn’t he?”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Have you been tutoring him?” Iverson opened the staff door and waited until Keith had walked in to close it. Keith felt his heart rate triple.

 

“I have been sir.”

 

Iverson nodded and hummed, crossing his hands behind his back and walking down the hallway behind the door. “That is exactly the kind of leadership qualities I hoped you would display Kogane.”

 

Keith’s eyebrows bunched together. “Sir?”

 

Iverson walked through another door that lead to his office. He took his place behind his desk and gestured for Keith to take a seat. He crossed his hands together on the desktop and tapped them lightly. “It put it simply, to see a student doing so poorly blossom under your leadership is exactly why I moved Cadet McClain into the advanced course.”

 

“I’m afraid I’m still not following you sir.” Keith said, but he felt his stomach drop.

 

Iverson sighed. “Cadet McClain wasn’t showing any _real_ potential in any of the courses he was taking, its true he was excelling in the practical side, his test scores have been stellar since he arrived here, but when it came to putting those practices to work physically, well he struggled.” Iverson pulled a file out and pushed it across his desk so Keith could see it. “But since you started to work with him he has been able to start passing the simulator tests, and is beginning to excel in other areas as well.”

 

Keith grabbed the file and flipped through it, really only discerning lots of graphs with different colored lines spiking up and down. He tried to think of something to say, but the more he began to understand the situation the angrier he became. “So you are basically using Lance as an experiment?”

 

Iverson scoffed. “Nothing that extreme Kogane. We are the most highly advanced upper level school in the country. We don’t use our charges as experiments. The rest of the higher ups and I just wanted to sit back and observe.”

 

Anger bubbled in Keith’s stomach. “But you don’t think Lance has real potential?”

 

“Of course we believe Cadet McClain has potential, otherwise he wouldn’t have been admitted into the Garrison in the first place. But if he didn’t start to get his act together then we saw no reason to keep him in the program. Do you know how many other eligible candidates we turned down in order to make a place for McClain?”

 

Keith placed the file back on Iverson’s desk. “So Lance is disposable to you?”

 

Iverson met Keith’s eyes with a level stare. “Everyone at this institution is disposable. Including you Kogane.”

 

Keith stood and glared. “I’m sorry to be rude sir, but was there any specific reason you wanted to talk to me?”

 

“Come now, Kogane. I didn’t expect you to get so flustered over another student.”

 

“Lance isn’t just ‘another student’ to me. He’s my best friend. And if you took a second to really get to know Lance and look at more than just those stupid charts and those useless lines then you would see just _how_ much potential Lance really has.” Keith forced himself to stop talking. He knew it would only take a snap of Iverson’s fingers and Keith would be sent packing. But he also knew Iverson. Keith was his star student, his pride and joy. He would do anything to keep Keith at this school.

 

Sighing Iverson leaned back in his desk chair, crossing one leg over the other. “Like I said before Kogane, we just wanted to observe. But unlike many other students in your grade Cadet McClain hasn’t really shown why he deserves to remain at this school. We are mentoring you all to be some of the greatest minds this generation has ever seen.”

 

“I’m aware of that sir. But like _you_ said, you wouldn’t have accepted Lance to the Garrison unless you saw something in him.”

 

Iverson laughed and shook his head. “Touché, Kogane. Touché. That is all I needed to speak with you about. You may go.” Just as Keith reached the door Iverson’s voice stopped him, “I would check your attitude during the weekend Kogane. I am not above punishing you just like any other student.”

 

Keith met Iverson’s eyes with a sneer. “I am just any another student. _Sir.”_ With that he slammed out of Iverson’s office and attempted to calm down. He couldn’t believe that the higher ups here just wanted to use Lance as some glorified guinea pig. Lance was ten times as smart as he was, and hideously clever. He solved problems in his own way, making the problem seem simpler.

 

In fact, Keith’s test grades had gone up significantly since Lance had helped him get his shit together and actually study. The only reason he was at the Garrison was because of his piloting skills. His heart clenched painfully. Lance deserved better than the likes of Iverson.

 

“Mullet?”

 

Starting Keith turned around in the hallway and blinked. He hadn’t realized he made it all the way back up to the dormitory floor. “You ok?” Lance asked again. Keith finally took in the other boy and immediately blushed when he realized he was in just a towel, his hair still dripping from the shower.

 

“Oh, um… yeah.” Keith ran a hand over the back of his neck, “Iverson was just being,”

 

“Iverson?” Lance finished, offering a small smile.

 

“Yeah. Basically.”

 

Lance shook out his wet hair and ignored it when it stuck to his face in wet patches. “So, turns out Hunk and Pidge bailed on us both, apparently Allura is working tonight and Hunk had to go catch her before the end of her shift.” He tightened the towel that hung low on his hips. “So I was thinking maybe we could go to the next town over, maybe catch a movie or something?”

 

“Oh.” Keith inhaled shakily. “Um, sure.”

 

Rolling his eyes Lance started to pad down the hall from the bathroom toward his room. “I’m gunna change. Meet me in my room whenever you’re ready to go.”

 

Lance pushed open the door to his room and closed it softly, leaning against it and running a hand over his face. He didn’t know what Iverson said to Keith, but it was definitely something that made Keith mad. He was storming around with that _look_ in his eyes… that look that made his eyes seem almost black instead of violet. But damn, angry Keith was _hot_ Keith.

 

They had been spending so much time together lately that Lance knew there was hardly anyone else at this school that knew him as well as Lance did. Ninety percent of the time Keith walked around the school with a permanent scowl on his face. He only spoke to other people if they talked to him first, most likely just to be polite. But whenever Lance came around, he lit up. Like literally lit up. A smile would grace his face and he would overflow with stories about how stupid the rest of their classmates were.

 

Hunk and Pidge could make him laugh and smile, but it was nothing compared to how he acted around Lance. He rolled his eyes at himself and went to find some pants, _“Oh come on McClain. He wouldn’t ever want what I want from him.”_

 

But lately it was getting harder to tell what exactly their friendship had become. Hunk was his best friend, and yeah he thought Hunk was gorgeous. But he didn’t want to tackle him and smother his face with kisses, to braid his hair, or fall asleep next to him. He and Keith had held hands _multiple_ times. No matter where they ended up studying and doing homework they found someway to touch each other, whether Lance chilled on Keith’s bed with his head in Keith’s lap, or Keith sat between his legs on the floor when Lance sat on a couch in one of the student lounges.

 

Keith was his friend, one of his best friends. He knew Keith was gay, but Lance wasn’t his type. Keith was probably more into guys like Rolo, guys with long lanky limbs and greasy hair. Guys with attitudes and didn’t cry over the stupidest shit. Lance couldn’t fight off the wave of disappointment that rolled through him. He didn’t deserve Keith anyway.

 

He found a dark pair of skinny jeans and shrugged into them and started to towel dry his hair. He was still shirtless when Keith walked into his room. They got so used to just walking into each other rooms unannounced that Keith hadn’t bothered to knock.

 

“Oh, sorry…” Keith mumbled, heading right back out the door.

 

Lance giggled, “Mullet, you’ve seen me shirtless how many times? Don’t be such a wuss.”

 

“I’m not a wuss.”

 

Lance smiled fondly at him. “Sure you aren’t.” He pawed through his shirt selection and finally settled on a red long sleeve t-shirt. Pulling on his black vans he craned his neck to look up at Keith, “So, my friend Todd is letting me borrow his car since Hunk and Pidge took Hunk’s car.” He twirled the keys on his finger, “Ready to party Mullet?”

 

“Whenever you are.” He answered simply. Lance sauntered out of his room and Keith followed. Lance looked damn good in red. Usually when he was out of the Garrison uniform he wore dark gray and black hoodies, or blue shirts. It was nice to see him in a different color. “So are we meeting Hunk and Pidge at the ice cream place?” Keith asked as they stepped into the elevator.

 

“Na, I figured we would go to the town south of here instead. Shiro and Matt always wanted to spend time at the same places, figured we could spread our wings a bit.” The elevator opened on the first floor, and Rolo looked back at Keith and Lance with a slight hint of annoyance.

 

“Heading out for the night?” He asked, cocking his head to the right. He was wearing black joggers, a dark green hoodie and old high top converse. His dirty blond hair was pulled up into a bun on the top of his head.

 

Lance nodded and held the elevator door open. “Got ditched by Hunk and Pidge so Mullet and I are going on an adventure.”

 

Rolo met Keith’s eyes and all Keith saw was a dark hint of resentment. “I see. What’re you planning to do?”

 

“Not sure yet.” Lance answered good-naturedly, not sensing the tension between the two other boys, “That’s the whole point of an adventure.” He stepped out the elevator and Keith reluctantly followed. “Ready to go?” He directed the question at Keith but Keith knew Rolo would try and find a way to weasel his way into the night.

 

Keith nodded and pulled the strings on his black hoodie. He prayed Rolo would let them walk out of the building without interference. But apparently Satan was smiling down on him because he heard Rolo sigh and say, “I was probably just going to watch Netflix all night or something.”

 

“I always found a solo Netflix night to be kinda refreshing.” Lance said shrugging. He clearly wasn’t picking up on Rolo’s signals and Keith was grateful.

 

“I don’t know, usually I prefer a night out on the town.” Rolo reasoned, tugging at his bun.

 

Lance was looking down at his phone, clearly distracted. Keith had to bite back a grin. Rolo was using all his tricks but nothing was working on Lance tonight. Rolo glared and tried one last time. “Would you mind if I tagged along with you guys?”

 

“Hm? Oh.” Lance finally looked up from his phone. “Sorry dude, but tonight was just gunna be a Keith and Lance night. Maybe next time?”

 

The lobby stayed hideously quiet for a long minute. “Yeah, sure. Sorry for trying to barge in.” Rolo rolled off an excuse and turned around to press the elevator button. He sent Keith a wicked glare before he stepped inside, and Keith felt that icy stare piercing into his back as he and Lance left the building.

 

“Rolo is kinda a weird dude, isn’t he?” Lance asked as he searched for Todd’s car in the parking lot. He clicked a button on the key ring and the headlights on Todd’s car lit up.

 

Keith bit back another smile. “Yeah I guess, we don’t really talk that much.”

 

“You’ve lived together for almost a year and a half now and you still don’t talk to him?” Lance asked as they got into the car.

 

That was one annoying thing about the Garrison; they had a very limited amount of rooms so the roommate you got your first year stayed your roommate until you graduated. It was only under extreme circumstances that they let people switch rooms. It wasn’t that Keith hated living with Rolo or anything, but it was awkward to live and share a space with a person that you don’t particularly like. Plus his situation was a little more intense considering the whole “Rolo wants to fuck my best friend/serious crush” problem.

 

Speak of the devil a text from Rolo lit up on Keith’s phone.

 

_The hell was that shit? Did you tell Lance to blow me off you dick?_

Keith rolled his eyes and ignored the message. Lance had rolled the windows of Todd’s car down and cracked up a local radio station that was playing old classics from the 1980’s. He started to sing along with the song that was playing, making Keith laugh. “Oh come on Mullet, my parents were _super_ into the 80’s hits.” The [chorus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGNiXGX2nLU&frags=pl%2Cwn) hit and Lance yelled, “SING WITH ME KEITH.”

 

Unable to resist Lance belting the lyrics, his hair blowing in the late evening wind Keith gave in and started to shout/sing the lyrics as well. They stopped at a red light and an elderly couple in the car next to them gave them condescending looks and it made Lance dance and sing louder. Keith blushed violently and tried to hide his face. He noticed several more texts from Rolo on his phone.

 

_You won’t have Lance wrapped around your finger for much longer_

_You said you two weren’t exclusive so what the fuck is the deal??_

Lance turned the music down and glanced at him, concern washing across his face. “Something wrong?”

 

“Nope, Rolo’s just being a dick.” He answered smoothly, typing out a response.

 

“Maybe I should have let him come along tonight,” Lance rubbed at the back of his neck. He looked extremely guilty.

 

Keith pulled his hand away from his neck. “He’ll get over it.” His phone started to buzz again.

 

_I didn’t tell Lance to do anything_

**_Sure you fucking didn’t_ **

****

_I don’t know what you want me to say Rolo_

**_Just fuck off douchebag_ **

****

“ _I have the most charming roommate.”_ Keith thought bitterly. But he refused to let Rolo ruin this night. Lance had said he just wanted it to be the two of them tonight. While that did make him nervous he was excited. He and Lance hang out alone all the time, but they haven’t gone off campus as a pair before.

 

They arrived at the small town south of the Garrison and Lance drove through the streets slowly, taking in the sights. “This is a _small_ town. We might not be able to find anything to do after all.” Lance turned onto a street that led to the towns “downtown” and he glanced around anxiously. “Maybe we should have met up with Pidge and Hunk after all.”

 

Keith felt himself smiling over the amount of concern on Lance’s face. He noticed a coffee shop coming up on the next block. “Lets stop at that coffee place and ask to see if there is anything to do.”

 

Lance parked the car in an open space and stepped out of the car, the late night breeze ruffling his hair. Keith walked into the coffee shop, a bell above the door tingling. “Evening!” The guy behind the counter said cheerfully. “Can’t say I’ve seen you two here before.”

 

“Na, probably not. We’re students at the Garrison.” Keith answered, smiling back.

 

The guy behind the counter shuddered. “Ah, spending a weekend night out then?”

 

“That’s the plan.” Keith replied, looking over the menu.

 

“I’m surprised you came down here though, not a lot to do in this town.”

 

Keith shrugged. “It’s a nice change of pace. Anything going on tonight that you would recommend?”

 

“There’s some live music in the park just a block over.”

 

Keith glanced back at Lance, “Do you know what you want? I’m buying.”

 

“Keith, I can pay for my own coffee.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes dramatically. “You’re paying for gas, I’m buying the coffee.”

 

It didn’t take long for Lance to give in. “Iced white chocolate mocha?”

 

“Can I get two iced white chocolate mochas? To go?”

 

The guy behind the counter smiled. “Sure. That’ll be ten ninety-eight. I’m Bandor by the way.”

 

“I’m Keith, the sulky guy is Lance.” Keith handed Bandor his card and rang everything up and walked toward the other end of the counter. Lance’s mood had taken a dramatic 180 and Keith was currently trying to figure out a way to cheer him up.

 

“Here’s those coffees for ya. Come back anytime!” Bandor said, blissfully unaware of the current situation. “So, how long have you two been together?”

 

Keith choked on the sip of coffee he had just taken. “Um, we- we aren’t” He coughed.

 

But Lance just smiled (a little sadly) at him and winked at Bandor. “Thanks for the coffee.” He said quietly, heading out of the shop. Keith waved goodbye and left a generous tip in the tip jar and jogged after Lance.

 

He caught up with Lance outside and bumped his shoulder. “What’s wrong? I thought you were all excited about this Keith and Lance field trip.” Lance only shrugged in response. “Lance,” Keith said softly, “Come on, talk to me.”

 

“I guess,” He paused, “I guess I just thought tonight would be a little more exciting.”

 

“Who says this isn’t exciting?”

 

Lance glanced at Keith and rolled his eyes. “We’re in a tiny ass town in the middle of nowhere and the only entertainment is probably some old dude with a banjo in the local park.” He took a disgruntledly sip of his coffee. “But damn this is good coffee.”

 

“Didn’t you just tell Rolo earlier that you like more laid back stuff? I’m totally fine with this.” Keith responded, keeping his voice upbeat. “We hang out back at the Garrison all the time, but Hunk and Pidge are usually always there too.”

 

Lance didn’t respond. He just kicked a stray pebble further down the sidewalk.

 

Keith stopped him and gently pulled at Lance’s chin so Lance would actually look at him. “Its nice to have a chill night with you, ok? There’s no pressure to perform here.”

 

Slowly Lance’s face softened and the tension left his shoulders. “I just feel bad, I thought tonight would be filled with more barhopping or something.”

 

“I’m fine with just this.” Keith smiled and continued walking. He felt Lance thread the fingers of his free hand into Keith’s. “Lets go find that live music, shall we?”

 

The continued to walk through the quaint little town, and the soft strains of music already reached their ears. “This kinda reminds me of the town I grew up in.” Keith said.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, it was little bigger than this but it had the same charm. All home owned stores and picket fences.”

 

The park came into view and Lance and Keith found a gazebo toward the back of the park and sauntered over to it. Keith rested his elbows on the edge of the gazebo and watched a small band play covers of popular songs from a decade ago. Lance joined him at the railing and leaned his head against Keith’s shoulder. Keith felt his face heat up and did his best to ignore his tingling skin.

 

“Why did you freak out when Bandor asked how long we’ve been dating?” Lance asked, completely shocking Keith.

 

“I, um. I,” He sputtered, “I just wasn’t expecting it is all.”

 

Lance laughed softly. “I wasn’t really that surprised.”

 

Keith looked down at Lance in shock. “Really? Why not?”

 

He shrugged. “It doesn’t that far out the realm of possibility I guess.”

 

Oh. Oh. _Oh._ Keith felt his heart rate accelerate and he turned his attention back to the band. The small crowd of locals had finally noticed the two newcomers hanging out in the gazebo and sent friendly smiles their way. Keith wondered if they all thought the same thing as Bandor.

 

_“So you two are getting pretty serious, huh?”_

 

 _“You two are blind.”_

_“Not just everyone is going to find you as irresistibly charming as I do.”_

_“Are you and Lance a thing now?”_

_“Come on, you two act like an old married couple.”_

Things Pidge, Rolo and even Lance himself had said started to swirl through Keith’s head. _“Oh come on, you’re overthinking this. Lance is just stating the obvious. I mean his head is on your shoulder for fucks sake. Of course people are going to assume we’re a thing.”_ What would that be like? To drive up to a random town, have people ask how long they’ve been dating and an answer rolling smoothly off his lips?

 

“Keith? I asked if you wanted to keep walking around.”

 

Keith blinked and met Lance’s eyes. “Yeah, yeah sure.”

 

They tossed their cups in the trash and Lance was mentally kicking himself. _“WHY DID YOU SAY THAT? WHY, WHY, WHY?”_ He shouldn’t have been so causal about the “dating” question. Keith probably reacted the way he did when Bandor asked them because the thought of dating Lance was so preposterous that it made him disgusted. He shouldn’t be testing the waters like this. He didn’t want to lose Keith’s friendship over something as stupid as a crush. He would get over it, he would have to. He couldn’t lose Keith.

 

***

 

Timidly Lance entered a location into his cars GPS and started to follow the directions. He was using some vacation time up from Altea, Allura told him yesterday that he needed to use up some of those hours anyways.

 

He wasn’t sure this was the best idea, but when have any of his ideas been good ones? Keith had directed him to this anyways. That was something to go on at least. Keith had warned him he was going to run into someone from his past and that thought alone was enough to make Lance want to vomit.

 

_Are you planning on telling me who this person is?_

**_I… Just know you won’t be happy_ **

****

Lance could practically see the nervous expression on Keith’s face. Feeling worry coiling up in the pit of his stomach he fired off another message.

 

_You are making me excessively nervous_

**_I know, I’m sorry_ **

****

Sighing heavily Lance asked for the address. A few minutes later Keith responded.

 

**_It’s in the next town over, please be careful_ **

****

_You know me Mullet, the paragon of safety_

**_No Lance. Really. This person is at least partway responsible for my disappearance_ **

****

If Lance thought he was nervous before that text sent him into a spiral and he _did_ actually throw up before he left his apartment. Lance drove past Altea on his way to wherever the hell he was going and every fiber in his being screamed for him to just stop this foolish mission, to go to work like any other normal 24 year old would. But he couldn’t ignore Keith. If he ever wanted to get him back he had to do this, no matter how badly it scared him.

 

***

Keith was sitting up by the water tower again nervously running his hands through his hair and checking his communicator screen every two seconds. Sending Lance to the last place he had been seen before disappearing was probably a bad idea. It _was_ a bad idea. But other than Zarkon they didn’t have any other leads.

 

Ulaz and Thace had no idea he was sending Lance on this fools errand. And the only reason Keith thought it was “safe” to send Lance there was because Thace and Ulaz were no longer keeping an eye on that business. They had decided it was no longer worth their time and resources to watch the business. They concluded that the only part they had in Zarkon’s plan was helping him in making Keith disappearing.  

 

He should have told Lance every detail about where he was going. But when Keith had gone there three years ago to explore a lead for Voltron he had no idea who he would run into either. Plus, Lance wouldn’t have agreed to this mission if he had known whom he would be speaking with.

 

The ladder to the water tower creaked as Shay climbed up. Silently she sat next to Keith and stared out at the city below. Keith rested his elbows on the rail and rested his chin on his arms. It felt like his worry was going to eat him alive. “Keith.”

 

He squeezed his eyes shut. “You’re right. I should have never gotten Lance involved in this. What if the same thing that happened to me happens to Lance? I’m an idiot.”

 

Shay watched her partner and let a sad smile grace her usually stern face. “That wasn’t what I was going to say.” Keith kept his eyes closed. “I was going to say its ok to be worried. But from everything you’ve told me about Lance, I’m sure he is going to be fine.”

 

“I don’t even think this going to do any good in our investigation.”

 

Shay sighed and turned her eyes back out toward the city. “But what other leads do we have? Other than Zarkon, Lotor and Haggar? Galra Tech has kept all their dealings incredibly secret. Its worth a shot to send Lance out to see if we can _any_ scrap of new information.”

 

Keith finally opened his eyes and sent Shay a wary look. “Why are you being so encouraging right now?” Shay laughed out loud and Keith glared, “No, really. You’re never nice.”

 

Shay grew serious again. “I want to take Galra Tech down just as badly as you, Thace and Ulaz do. I lost everything because of them. And no offense to you or anything, but bringing you onto the team hasn’t really furthered our plans. So, Lance might be our one chance.”

 

The two grew silent and lost in their own thoughts. _“Lance is going to be fine. Just fine.”_ Keith kept repeating that in his mind, desperate to believe it. And Shay was right. Thace and Ulaz rescued him from Zarkon for a reason. They thought Keith could help in their investigation. At first Keith had been an asset. While he was in captivity he had learned a few secrets about Galra Tech. But now Keith felt like he was just a waste of time and resources.

 

God he just wanted to go _home._ He wanted nothing more than that. He wanted to be able to talk to Lance in person, not over some damn communicator screen. He wanted to be able to sleep more than a few hours a night, and more than anything he wanted to stop worrying that something could happen to Lance. But there was more than just Lance. He missed Shiro, he missed Matt. He craved one of Hunk’s hugs. To see Allura’s gentle smile and Pidge’s obnoxious laugh. So many aspects from his life were missing and it was tearing him apart.

 

“Just trust in him as much as he trusts you.” Shay’s voice broke through the quiet.

 

Keith sighed and closed his eyes again. Then his communicator beeped.

 

***

Lance pulled his car into an open parking space, looking up at the building Keith’s address had directed him to. A sign above the door read “Rebel Tech”. Curiosity getting the better of him Lance stepped out his car and stretched his arms above his head. The building was small, only one story. Glancing around he only noticed two other cars in the parking lot and a few bikes chained to the bike rack. It was interesting that a town this small should have its own tech company. He also wondered why had never heard of this place.

 

It was like a light switch went off in his brain. Keith had been heading to a small tech company when he went missing, but for some reason he could never remember the name. _“I wonder why the investigations into his disappearance never mentioned anything about this place.”_ Lance thought distantly.

 

He headed for the front door and hesitantly opened it up, a bell chiming above the door alerting the people working that someone had arrived. A young looking girl sitting at the reception desk looked up when he walked in and smiled pleasantly at him. “Hello!” She chirped, “What can I help you with today?”

 

Lance suddenly realized he hadn’t come up with an excuse as to why he was here. Keith just gave him the address and he went. His mind was scrambling to come up with anything, but he didn’t know shit about this company so he had nothing. “Oh, I was just… in the area,” He started, fumbling over his words. Every fiber in him was screaming _ABORT, ABORT,_ but before he could turn back to the front door and run away in humiliation a voice stopped him.

 

“Lance?”

 

He whirled around at the sound of his name and came face to face with someone he had desperately hoped to never see again. Dull green eyes stared back at him. His hair was shorted than it had been a few years ago. But it was him. Anger started to boil in the pit of his stomach. “Rolo?”

 

***

_“I better get going. I don’t want to get stuck in the morning rush. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to work?”_

_“I’m fine. It’s a nice morning, I want to walk before the rainy season kicks in.”_

_“Hey, whatever you want.” Keith paused at the doorway. “I’ll be back by eight at the latest.”_

_Lance glanced up briefly as he pulled his jacket on. “Ok. See you soon.” Keith grinned and closed the door. “Be safe!” He called after him._

_“No promises!”_

_Keith headed down the stairs and towards the car he and Lance shared. The business was headed for was only about a thirty minute drive away. Allura had heard about this small tech company a couple weeks ago and wanted to send someone from Altea to check it out, just to see if there would be anyone, or anything useful in their quest to unlock Voltron fully. He started the car and turned down the street and noticed Lance walking to work. He waved wildly at him, making Lance laugh. Lance waved back and blew a kiss._

_If Keith had known the danger he would be headed into he never would have left Lance that day._

_Blissfully unaware of the darkness swirling behind him Keith drove through the small town that apparently was home to the small tech company. He found the business relatively easily, it stood alone on the street it was on, with only a small parking lot accompanying the building._

_Stepping out his car he headed inside, eager to get down to business. A gentle looking woman behind the front desk greeted him and sent him in the direction of the back of the building. There were only three other offices in the entire building and Keith found the small town vibe comforting. That was until he walked into office the receptionist had sent him to. “Rolo?” Keith said in disbelief._

_Rolo glanced up from the paperwork on his desk and gave Keith a steely once over. Keith felt like Rolo’s eyes were tearing him apart. “Ah. Kogane. I didn’t realize you were the representative Altea was sending over.”_

_Keith felt his face heating up. Old memories and past hurt flared up in his gut but he had to fight those reactions back. He was here for Altea, not to settle some old scores from years ago. “Are you in charge here?” Keith asked skeptically._

_“Don’t look so surprised. I was tenth in our class at the Garrison.” Rolo had cut his hair. It was now buzzed in the back and on the sides, with only a loose bunch of hair from the front twirled into a bun at the top of his head. His eyes were still the same sleepy but piercing green they had always been. He wasn’t dressed like the owner of company would be either. He_ was _wearing dress pants but they looked worn out and old. The dress shirt he wore was wrinkled and un-tucked from his pants. Rolo sighed heavily and put his pen down. “Shall we get down to business or are you just going to stare at me all day?”_

_Keith mentally shook himself and sat in a chair in front of Rolo’s desk. “Right. Of course.” He pulled some files out of his briefcase and set them down on the desk. He plunged into all the details Allura wanted him to go over all while trying to ignore how badly he wanted to punch Rolo in the face._

_About an hour later the two men wrapped up the business meeting and Keith felt himself relax slightly. After spending an hour with the person he hated most in the world he couldn’t wait to get back home to Lance and breathe in his clean smell and to see his beautiful smile. Rolo had almost ruined both of their lives._

_Hopefully he would never have to deal with Rolo again. “Well,” Rolo started, “Thank you for coming in today Kogane. I could see both businesses flourishing with this deal.”_

_“As do I.” Keith reluctantly shook his hand and headed for his car. It was starting to rain and Keith hoped that that wouldn’t affect the roads as he drove home._

_“Ah yes, one last thing Kogane.”_

_Feeling irritated Keith unlocked the car and threw his briefcase inside. “What do you want Rolo? I’m here for business and business only.”_

_But before Keith could finish his thought or even turn around he felt his head snap forward from the force of a sharp blow to the back of his head. “You shouldn’t have messed with me back then Kogane.” Was the last thing he heard snarled into his ear before he lost consciousness._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! New chapter filled with lots of fluffy as fuck bonding and an even deeper look into Keith's past at the Garrison and his disappearance. 
> 
> Next chapter out soon!


	12. I Cradled You in my Arms!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idiots so obviously in love with each other but they are so stupidly unaware of it.

When Lance’s father had passed away it was a shock not only to his family, but also to their whole community. Heart attacks were so rare that scientists thought they had almost completely gotten rid of them. The modern medicine of the day had its advantages, but it hadn’t done anything to help Lance’s father. Lance wasn’t home when it happened, and a part of him had to admit he was glad that he hadn’t been there. To see his father in pain and afraid would have been too much. But god, Lance wished he could have had one last chance to tell his dad how much he loved him, and to say goodbye. He wanted that more than anything.

 

The ambulance that Lance’s mother called was far too late, his dad was gone before his mother could even get to the phone. So the paramedics had driven away with a body, telling his mother that she needed to start making arrangements.

 

Lance remembers the day his father passed away quite vividly. He had had a shit day at school; he turned in four papers only to get assigned five more. Then after classes were dismissed he went straight to the soup kitchen he volunteered at in what limited spare time he had. The whole day he felt like he had a cloud hanging above his head. There was some weird sense of dread in the back of his mind that he couldn’t quite shake. At first he thought it might be an anxiety attack, but he was used to his triggers when it came to his anxiety. So when he finally drove home around 8 o’clock and saw his house dark and empty his stomach dropped.

 

He sprinted up his driveway and through the front door and found his mother sitting at the kitchen table; a cold cup of coffee clutched in her hands and dried tears on her face. “Mom?” Lance felt himself squeak.

 

His mother wouldn’t even look at him. She looked like an empty shell. “Mama, please… what’s wrong?” Her tired and blank eyes finally met her sons. Then she told him and Lance’s world fell apart.

 

The week following the funeral was one of the worst Lance could remember. He was so sick of everyone under the sun telling him how sorry they were. His teachers treated him like he was made of glass. He could feel the sympathetic looks people would send in his direction and it made his skin crawl. It didn’t matter how _sorry_ people were. That wasn’t going to bring his dad back. His temper was worse than ever and he constantly snapped at people and he couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about it. He avoided going home because everything just reminded him of his dad. Knowing he would never hear his laugh or see his smile or be wrapped in one of his powerful bear hugs made Lance’s stomach hurt.

 

Hunk and Pidge were some of the only people that attempted to treat Lance the same way and he was grateful for it. He needed some sense of normalcy.

 

Plus the family doctor had wanted to check on Lance and his brothers, “Just to be safe,” He had said. When the blood work had come back the doctor grimly informed the young men that a history of heart deficiency ran in the family. So in short, Lance and his brothers were at a risk for heart attacks as well. Lance had taken the news numbly, not really sure how to feel about it. It was strange to think about something invisible like a heart attack affecting him in the future. But his mother had panicked and asked the doctors if there was anything they could do to help prevent that from happening. So on top of the two depression meds Lance was already taking he had to take a small red pill to help “keep his heart healthy” or some shit.

 

Taking the extra pill became such a meaningless part of his routine that he didn’t even notice that he had run out of pills to take. Hunk had walked into their dorm room and noticed Lance staring at the empty pill bottle with a strained look on his face. “You ok dude?”

 

Lance rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Yeah. Just ran out of that stupid heart medication.”

 

“You should call the pharmacy in town to see if they can refill it today.”

 

“Eh, its no big deal.” Lance tossed the empty bottle in the trash, “Its nothing to worry about.”

 

Hunk felt his forehead wrinkle as he pulled his eyebrows in. “Are you sure? You’ve been taking that for almost two years now.”

 

Lance laughed lightly and hopped into bed and pulled the covers up over his legs. “I’m positive there wasn’t shit in those. They were probably filled with like, pixie dust or some shit.”

 

Hunk turned off the light and crawled into bed as well, laughing along with his roommate. He was right, Lance was only 19, how badly could he need a heart medication?

 

***

“This is stupid.” Pidge grumbled, “Does the Garrison think we are all like six or something?” Lance chuckled and glanced around the lawn in front of the Garrison. Apparently this was a new tradition the school wanted to start, but none of the students seemed too enthusiastic about. “I haven’t been forced to do something this dumb since middle school.”

 

“Careful Pidge, keep glaring like that and your face will stick that way.” Hunk quipped as he rejoined the group. He handed Pidge the cup of lemonade she requested. “Who knows, this event might do some students some good.”

 

Lance trailed his eyes around the vast space in front of him. He couldn’t really think of the proper word to describe what was happening, the best he could come up with was an elementary school track and field meet. It was a Saturday, which was already irritating enough. Saturday and Sunday were some of the only days they had to cool off and regroup after a busy week, but the professors had made this event mandatory.

 

In all honesty there wasn’t a lot to do, there were some water balloon tosses, three legged races, egg toss and a couple other simple tasks. There also wasn’t a whole lot of students participating, it seemed that the professors were the only ones doing anything, most likely to make the activities look fun so the students would join in.

 

Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Keith had given up almost immediately and were currently camped out underneath a tree a good distance from the fanfare. Pidge was sprawled out on the grass, eyes closed now that she had finished her lemonade. Hunk sat cross-legged just behind her, squinting into the late afternoon sun. “Hunk, braid my hair?” Pidge asked, angling her head back so she could see her friend.

 

Hunk grinned, “French or Dutch?”

 

“French please.” Pidge said happily. Hunk put his cup of lemonade down and went to work at Pidge’s hair.

 

Lance was leaning up against the truck of the tree watching as Iverson and another professor try an egg toss, only to fail miserably. “I’m shocked really,” Keith said sarcastically, “That Iverson can run one of the most technologically advanced schools in the world but can’t catch a fucking egg.”

 

“Pft,” Lance choked on the sip of Hunk’s lemonade he had just taken, “Christ Keith.” He doubled over himself from the force of his laughing.

 

Pidge was also laughing, taking her glasses off and wiping at her eyes, “Sometimes I forget you can be funny Keith.”

 

Keith glanced up at Lance from where his head was resting on one of Lance’s legs. The sight of Lance laughing was almost worth sitting out in the late afternoon heat. Lance sucked in a huge breath and clutched his stomach. He looked down at Keith with a grin, “Maybe we should give him more credit, I mean his depth perception must be shit.”

 

Hunk glanced up from Pidge’s hair and narrowed his eyes in Iverson’s general direction, “I wonder why he stopped wearing that eye patch.”

 

Shrugging Keith picked at some grass, “Maybe he wants to look scary or something.” Lance was still laughing quietly as he started to run a hand through Keith’s hair. Keith had to fight not to close his eyes because it felt so good (SO good), but Lance didn’t seem to be paying any particular attention to what Keith was doing. He turned his eyes away from Lance’s smiling face and looked around the front lawn. A large majority of the students had the same idea they did. Most had found shade under the remaining trees or were lounging in the grass, drinking up the sun. It was ridiculous that all the professors had forced them into what they called a “school wide bonding afternoon” it seemed like most of the students found ways to make the afternoon work to their advantage.

 

It was rare that any of the students actually spent that much time outside; they were always either cooped up in their rooms doing homework or were in a class of some sort. Keith could hear the faint sound of a guitar from somewhere, along with someone singing. But most of all Keith heard a lot of laughing. As he watched the professors he realized they were all looking around at the students and smiling. His heart gave a reluctant tug. He supposed the professors really didn’t hear their students laughing and enjoying themselves all that often. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “What’re you smiling about?” Lance questioned softly.

 

He turned his eyes back up to Lance. “Oh nothing really. I guess in some weird way this ‘bonding afternoon’ is working.”

 

A grin spread across Lance’s freckled cheeks. “Yeah I guess it is.” He continued to run his hand through Keith’s hair. Glancing at Hunk and Pidge and then back at Keith he felt an idea form in his mind.

 

Keith giggled and poked one of Lance’s cheeks. “I can physically see the wheels turning in your head dude. What’s going on in that air head of yours?”

 

Rolling his eyes Lance felt a small blush creep onto his cheeks. “I used to braid my sisters hair all the time. And…” He stopped and shrugged.

 

Keith dropped his voice in volume, “What, Lance?” He asked gently.

 

Refusing to meet Keith’s eyes Lance swallowed and glared slightly, “I guess, I was wondering if I could braid yours.”

 

“Oh.” Keith felt his face heat up. Lance looked thoroughly embarrassed and he had stopped carding his hand through his hair. He could tell Lance was about to take back the offer so he sat up and grinned. “Sure. I mean its not as long as Pidge’s but,” He shrugged and reveled in the relived smile that had spread across Lance’s face.

 

He turned Keith by the shoulders so his back was to him. “You met my sisters dude, your hair is longer than theirs now.”

 

Keith turned around just enough so that he could quirk a brow at Lance. “My hair is not _that_ long.”

 

Lance smiled softly. “Your hair is perfect.” Keith turned back around at that and leaned back a little further into Lance. Ignoring his tripling heart rate Lance divided Keith’s hair into three separate parts and started a traditional French braid like Hunk was finishing giving Pidge. Keith’s shoulders relaxed even further and Lance felt his heart clench. Sometimes it was hard to believe he could have this effect on Keith. A boy who, on the surface, was abrasive and conferential, but underneath was passionate and caring. But he never let his guard down. Thinking back to when he first met Keith last year it was hard to believe he was the same boy. And god knows it took long enough for both of them to get past their issues and finally start to open up to one another. They both had trauma in their past, but whenever Keith was around; Lance felt a small part of him healing. Sometimes Keith fixed something that Lance hadn’t even realized was broken.

 

He couldn’t say the same for Keith of course, but he liked to think he was helping Keith just has much as he was helping him. “Pidge, do you have an extra hair tie?” Lance asked around Keith’s head. Pidge simply nodded and pulled one off her wrist and tossed it at Lance. It landed on the ground next to Keith’s knee and he picked it up and held it over is shoulder until Lance grabbed it, securing the short braid in place.

 

“You look like a low budget Disney princess.” Pidge joked lightly. Hunk laughed and stood up, cracking his back.

 

“Come do the balloon toss with me.” He said to Pidge. She grumbled but held out a hand so Hunk could help her up. “You guys wanna come?” Hunk asked Keith and Lance.

 

They glanced at each other and then up to Hunk. “Maybe in a little while.” Lance answered sheepishly. Hunk grinned knowingly and winked at Lance as he and Pidge walked away, chattering about some project they were working on for a class.

 

“Do I really look like a cheap princess?” Keith asked feeling more than a little embarrassed.

 

Lance grinned and tugged at the end of the braid, “Nope. You look kind of badass somehow.” He leaned back up against the tree and crossed his arms behind his head. “Truly its not fair.” He winked at Keith.

 

Keith took a deep breath and before he could lose his courage he leaned back up against Lance, leaning his head on his left shoulder. He felt Lance tense underneath him for a moment before he relaxed and drape his left arm over Keith’s shoulder. They didn’t say anything, they didn’t have to. Keith felt so at ease, just feeling and listening to Lance breathe. Feeling brave Keith leaned his head even closer to Lance’s neck and breathed in the scent of his deodorant. God he had it _bad_ for this boy.

 

“I wonder if the Garrison will actually keep this up.” Lance wondered aloud, his voice rumbling in Keith’s ear.

 

“I feel like they probably will. It is a good way to force us all out into the sunlight for at least a couple hours.”

 

Lance chuckled, and Keith felt it vibrate in his back. “You’re right. I think I heard a couple kids hiss when they stepped out into the sunlight.”

 

“Some haven’t seen the sun in _years_.” Keith drawled dramatically. Lance laughed again and leaned his head against Keith’s. They fell silent again, listening to the sounds of their fellow students laughing. In the distance they watched Pidge and Hunk wildly throw water balloons at each other, causing a few professors to send concerned glances their way. “Looks like they’re having fun.”

 

“Mhm.” Lance felt himself smile. “I’m glad he and Pidge have grown so close. Hunk is one of the best guys I know. I would capture the moon for him if he needed it.”

 

Keith grabbed the hand that was dangling over his shoulder and started to play with Lance’s fingers. “You guys are really close, huh?”

 

“Yeah, we are. He’s my best friend, more like my brother even. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

 

“How long have you known each other?”

 

Lance thought back a few years. “Since elementary school. Hunk got bullied a lot, for his weight, for having two moms; just a bunch of really messed up shit. I remember walking home from school one day and telling my dad about it. He said I should go talk to him, just so he knew he would have someone to talk to.” Lance paused for a second as the memory crashed over him. “So the next day I went up to Hunk at lunch and slammed my tray down and told him we were going to be friends. He asked me why I would want to be friends with a loser like him. I wasn’t even that old yet but that broke my heart.”

 

Keith felt a glare crease his forehead. “I can’t believe anyone would treat Hunk like that. He has a heart of gold.”

 

Lance sighed heavily. “I know. So from that day forward I did my best to stand up for him. I got in a couple fights, got a lot of detentions. But eventually the meaner kids started to leave him alone. And we made a couple more friends going into middle school. They didn’t really last into high school though. Hunk and I hardly had time to breathe, what with all the shit we were doing to get into this place.”

 

“Well I’m glad you had each other.” Keith felt his heart soften as he watched Hunk chase after Pidge and wrap her into a bear hug as she laughed hysterically. A question gnawed away at the back of his mind and he knew he would probably regret asking Lance this, but he just needed to know. “Did you ever like him as more than a friend?”

 

“Hmm.” Lance pondered the question.

 

Keith blushed, “I know that’s super personal, you don’t have to answer that.”

 

“No its ok. I think in middle school, for a pretty brief time, I did. But I still didn’t really understand my sexuality back then, so it’s hard to say. But I mean the guy is drop dead gorgeous, so can you blame me?” Keith laughed lightly and Lance smiled, “Hunk was the first person I came out to.”

 

“How’d he take it?”

 

“Just like you can imagine. He hugged me and told me that he would always love me no matter what. He was there when I came out to my family too. I’ll always be grateful for that.” A light breeze blew through the trees, the leaves rustling softly. The sun was beginning to set and Lance could smell hamburgers grilling. The Garrison cooks had gone crazy with the meal planning; there were at least eight different pasta salads, hotdogs, hamburgers, a shit ton of fruit and root beer floats for desert. Keith sighed softly and leaned even further into Lance. Before he lost the nerve to Lance stuck his nose in Keith’s hair and inhaled the musky scent of his shampoo. He was sure that they looked _way_ more intimate than just friends to anybody walking by, and he was completely fine with people thinking that. Opening his eyes he rested his chin on Keith’s head and wrinkled his brow. He just wished _he_ knew what he and Keith were. They were cuddling, obviously they were, but there was such a thing as platonic cuddling, hell he and Hunk did it all the time. But when he was like this with Keith it just felt like _more._ Lance knew he was stupidly gone for Keith, but he had no idea if Keith felt the same way. And he was too scared to admit his feelings. What he and Keith had was really solid, he shouldn’t want to change that.

 

“Should we get up and actually do something productive?” Keith asked reluctantly.

 

Lance debated his options. Pidge and Hunk did look like they were having fun, but he was literally cradling Keith in his arms. The smell of Keith’s shampoo was making him a little drunk, a little stupid. He tightened his grip around Keith’s shoulders. “I’m good here.”

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

***

About an hour later the sun had almost completely set and everyone had eaten way more than they should’ve of. The professors had one last surprise for everyone, they pulled out boxes filled with hundreds of sparklers and told the students to go nuts.

 

Hunk had Pidge on his shoulders and she had four sparklers in hand and waved they around madly, making people in the surrounding area laugh. Lance had one lit and made gentle circles and other shapes. Keith stood next to him, one hand shoved into his jeans pocket and another halfheartedly holding a sparkler. Lance quirked a brow, “Have you like, never played with a sparkler before?”

 

Keith shook his head and stared into the sparking flames at the end of his sparkler. “Not really. I was never really into it as a kid.”

 

Lance watched him for a moment, drinking in the view. Some of the shorter strands of Keith’s hair had come loose from the braid and framed his face in gentle waves. Light from the sparkler bounced off his pale skin, making it appear to be different shades of pink, red and yellow. “Its not that hard really.” Lance said, “Just add a little more _soul.”_

 

“Soul?” Keith asked, laughing in spite of himself.

 

“Just have fun Mullet.” Lance smiled softly at Keith and looked out at the hundreds of sparklers lighting up the growing dark. He rubbed at his forehead, he got a headache about an hour ago and it refused to go away. He moved his sparkler around a bit more and noticed his eyes were having trouble tracking the movement. Ignoring it he tried to focus on Keith’s smile. The pounding in his head increased and now he was starting to feel a little dizzy. Right as he was about to tell Keith he might need to sit down he noticed Rolo approaching.

 

“Looks like you’re having fun.” Rolo said to Lance, completely ignoring Keith. 

 

“Yeah, sure.” Lance felt like he was slurring his words. Even through his blurry vision he saw his hand shaking.

 

Rolo already felt irritation growing in the pit of his stomach. He had to watch Keith and Lance _cuddling_ all day, he was truly surprised they hadn’t spent the afternoon sucking face. Apparently he had kept complaining about it until it was annoying, his friend Olia had patted him on the back and rolled her eyes. “Come on man, just look at them. I don’t think it really matters if they are exclusive or not. They obviously care about each other, maybe you should stop pushing and just leave things be.”

 

Olia did have a point, but Rolo hated to lose. Glancing back over at the tree Lance and Keith were under he saw Lance bury his nose in Keith’s hair and Keith laugh at something the other boy had said. Jealously boiled in the pit of his stomach. Turning away from the two boys he glared at nothing. “Doesn’t seem that special to me.” He didn’t see Olia give him a disappointed look before she got up to go find something else to do.

 

So Rolo waited all afternoon for his perfect opportunity to go talk to Lance. He _was_ hoping to find a moment when Lance would be alone, but it didn’t matter if he was with Keith or that little girl or his roommate, people constantly surrounded Lance. _“Makes sense,”_ Rolo thought bitterly, _“Lance radiates positive energy. People are drawn to that kinda shit.”_ As the night drew on Rolo quickly realized Lance wasn’t going to be completely alone for more than two minutes. So he waited until everyone was relatively involved in his or her sparklers before approaching Lance. He noted that Keith was with him, so it would be a challenge to get a word in edgewise. But by this point he was thoroughly irritated. He couldn’t quite figure out why he wanted to have Lance so badly, maybe it was a subconscious thing. _“Who even cares? Lance is hot.”_ Rolo stopped before he could start thinking too deeply about the situation.

 

Once he finally got to Lance he was expecting a friendly greeting but the only thing Lance said was, “Yeah, sure.” Rolo felt himself glaring before he could stop it.

 

“This whole afternoon was fucking stupid, wasn’t it?” Rolo shoved his hands into his shorts pockets, trying to sound like he was making a joke. Lance didn’t even answer this time. He was just staring at his sparkler, but it had gone out. “Seriously dude? I’m just trying to make polite conversation.”

 

Keith had dropped his dead sparkler to the ground and moved closer to Lance, waving a hand in front of his face. Panic spread across Keith’s stoic face and it was then that Rolo realized that something was definitely up. Keith gently took the sparkler from Lance’s hand and gripped one of Lance’s shaking hands in both of his. “Lance? Hey, Lance come on. Look at me, please.” Keith said quietly.

 

It looked like it was a struggle for Lance to even blink. He lifted blurry eyes to Keith’s. “Keith?” He sounded like he was drunk, or like he was forcing the words out from behind his teeth.

 

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” Keith questioned, cupping Lance’s cheek in his hand.

 

“I think… I think there’s something wrong…”

 

Keith whipped his head around to meet Rolo’s eyes. “Go get someone.”

 

Rolo swallowed nervously. “Who?”

 

“Fucking _anyone._ ” Keith bit out, “Lance needs help.” At that moment Lance wobbled dangerously as his knees buckled. “ _Shit_.” Keith hissed. “Go!” He shouted at Rolo, getting the attention of people within earshot. Lance collapsed then, and Keith had just enough to grab him before he hit the ground.

 

Hunk had just become aware of what was happening and he pulled Pidge off his shoulders and sprinted to Keith’s side. “What happened?” He asked desperately, looking at Lance with tears brimming in his eyes. Pidge had run to the nearest professor and drug them over to the scene as well.

 

A large group of people had gathered around by this point and Keith felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Lance?” He asked, his voice cracking. “Hey… Lance. Open your eyes. Please, for me.” He knew he sounded desperate and he knew that half of his classmates were listening but Lance wasn’t responding now. He had been _fine_ five minutes earlier. He and Hunk locked eyes, Hunk already had tears streaming down his face.

 

“What happened?” He asked Keith, looking around for someone to help.

 

Keith shrugged and bit his lip, hard. “I have no idea, he was fine a couple minutes ago.” His voice cracked again and he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

Iverson stood over them, a concerned look on his face. “All right!” He shouted at the crowd, “Everyone needs to back up! Nobody is helping by standing around and gawking!” The crowd that had gathered quickly dispersed and Keith let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “What happened here Kogane?”

 

He shook his head and looked up at Iverson, “I have no idea, he just got really pale out of no where and I think he passed out.”

 

Iverson placed a gentle hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Our nurse is on the way. Don’t worry.”

 

Keith turned his attention back to Lance and blinked furiously, keeping his emotions at bay. _“I swear to god Lance, you better be ok. What would I do without you?”_ Moments a couple professors arrived with a gurney and they helped Keith lift Lance’s limp body onto it. Iverson let Keith, Hunk and Pidge follow the gurney inside, and once they were inside that effectively ended the Garrison’s first School Wide Bonding Afternoon.

 

***

It was quiet in the schools infirmary, well as quiet as it could be with Hunk’s snoring. He was sprawled in his hospital bed next to Lance’s. He had been fighting to stay awake for the past hour so Keith told him to sleep. “Don’t worry, as soon as Lance wakes up I’ll get you.” Keith had whispered. Hunk hadn’t put up much of a fight and he had passed out seconds after his head hit the pillow. Keith was sitting in a chair next to Lance’s bed, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath.

 

The doctor on site had informed Hunk, Pidge and Keith that Lance had suffered from an extremely mild heart issue. “Would any of you be able to help me understand why this happened to the young man?” The doctor had asked.

 

Hunk’s eyes widened and he looked down at Lance’s sleeping form. “His dad passed away from a heart attack so he and his brothers started taking a heart medication. He ran out of it the other day though, do you think that causes it?”

 

“How many days has it been since he took it last?”

 

“Probably about two.” Hunk answered, rubbing at the back of his neck.

 

The doctor rubbed his chin and jotted down some notes. “Do you know the name of the medication?”

 

“No, but the empty bottle is still up in our room.”

 

“Would you mind going and getting it? I will have it refilled immediately.”

 

Hunk nodded furiously and dashed out the infirmary. He returned a few minutes later, bottle in hand. The doctor thanked him and disappeared back into his office. Pidge had stuck around a bit longer after that but soon when upstairs to go to bed, she did kiss Lance’s forehead before she left and told Hunk to text her as soon as Lance woke up.

 

Keith rubbed at his wearily and looked up at the clock above the door. A little past 1 a.m. Worry gnawed away at his stomach and he began to pick away at the skin around his thumbnail. He thought Lance would have woken up by now. Movement by the door made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. A figure opened the door and carefully stuck their head inside the room. “Rolo?” Keith whispered furiously, “What’re you doing here?”

 

He ignored Keith’s irritated tone and looked at Lance’s limp form in the bed. “He still isn’t awake?”

 

Keith was too tired to deal with his roommate. He just shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. Rolo stepped into the room and carefully shut the door. He stopped about a foot away from Lance’s bed. “I just,” He whispered, “I feel bad because I acted like a dick right before he passed out.”

 

“You didn’t know.”

 

“Yeah, but you did.” Rolo didn’t sound angry, just a little confused.

 

Keith met his eyes. “Yeah. I did.” He wondered what Rolo was trying to get at.

 

“How do you always know?”

 

“What do you mean?” Keith asked, exhaustion pulling at him.

 

Rolo shoved his hands into his pockets. “You always know what to do when it comes to Lance.”

 

Rolling his eyes Keith turned his attention back to Lance. “I’m his friend. I guess that’s what friends do.” He didn’t move his eyes from Lance’s sleeping form. A few moments later he heard Rolo quietly leave the room. _“That was fucking weird.”_ He thought.

 

Keith felt like he was about to drift off when he saw one of Lance’s fingers twitch. He was immediately alert as more signs of life slowly crept back to Lance. Keith heard him groan softly and crack his eyes open and look around frantically. Leaping from the chair he had been sitting in Keith moved into Lance’s line of sight so he could see something familiar. “Hey,” He said gently, pushing Lance’s hair off his forehead. “Hey, its ok. You’re ok.”

 

Lance’s eyes calmed once he focused in on Keith. “What happened?” He croaked.

 

“We aren’t exactly sure, but the doctor thinks it had something to do with your heart medication.”

 

Lance groaned again. “I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if I stopped taking it.”

 

His voice still sounded scratchy so Keith leaned over to the side table and poured him some water. Slowly Lance sat up and cracked his neck a few times. “How do you feel now?” Keith asked anxiously as he handed Lance the cup.

 

Lance took it grateful and chugged the contents. “I feel kinda, heavy. If that makes sense.”

 

“Do you remember anything before you passed out?”

 

“Hm. I do remember feeling really dizzy. And I had a pretty intense headache.” He clutched the paper cup in his hands and refused to meet Keith’s eyes. “It came out of no where.”

 

Keith watched Lance carefully and touched his shoulder. “Hey, are you ok?”

 

Blue eyes met violet. “When the doctors told my brothers and I that we could suffer from heart problems I didn’t really take it that seriously. Cuz heart conditions are so rare, ya know? So when I ran out of heart meds I didn’t think it would have any lasting effects.” Lance stopped and swallowed hard. He felt Keith push the hair off his forehead again. “I’m scared.” He whispered.

 

“Oh, Lance…” Keith pulled him into a tight hug and Lance dropped the paper cup to the ground and gripped the back of Keith’s shirt. “The doctor had your meds refilled. As long as you keep taking them everything should be fine.” Keith was so close that he barely had to whisper. Lance squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face deeper in Keith’s neck.

 

Lance inhaled shakily and said, “Thank you for being there.”

 

Keith felt a small smile trip over his mouth. “I didn’t really _do_ anything.” He felt Lance pull back enough so that he could meet his eyes.

 

“I guess what I was trying to say, is that I’m glad it was you.” Then Lance smiled a soft and genuine smile that sent Keith’s heart into a frenzy.

 

He reached out and tucked a longer strand of Lance’s hair behind is ear. “I’m glad you’re ok. You scared the shit outta me.”

 

Hunk stirred in the bed next to Lance’s, slowly becoming alert to the sounds in the room. Keith let his grip on Lance loosen and he shook Hunk’s shoulder. “Hunk, hey, Hunk. Lance is awake dude.”

 

Lance grinned at the sight of Hunk slowly waking up and realizing that he was awake. “Lance!” He cried and without much finesse he sprung from the bed and landed on Lance’s. “Are you ok? What happened? You scared the _fuck_ out of me!” Words tumbled from Hunk’s mouth so fast it was hard to keep up. And even though Hunk had just woken up Lance could see the worry behind his eyes and it made his heart clench.

 

“I’m ok now. Just tired.”

 

The three talked for a bit longer until Hunk and Lance both started to yawn again. Keith glanced at the clock again and saw that it was almost 2 A.M. Lance was rubbing at his eyes sleepily and even though the boy had almost given him a heart attack a few hours earlier Keith had to admit this was one of the cutest sights he had ever seen. “We should let you get some more sleep.” Keith said quietly. “Plus, Hunk you can hardly keep your eyes open.”

 

Hunk yawned and nodded wearily. “You’ll be ok here until morning?” He asked Lance.

 

“Yeah, I think so.” Lance said, but he felt a twinge of nervousness in the pit of his stomach. “Go get some sleep buddy.” Hunk pulled his friend into a tight hug and started to leave the room, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. Keith smiled softly and started to get off the bed but stopped when Lance grabbed desperately at his hand. “I um…”

 

“What is it Lance?”

 

He shook his head and let go of Keith’s hand. “Its just, ever since my dad died hospitals and shit freak me out.” He picked at the paper bracelet around his wrist. “But I’ll be ok.”

 

“Lance if you want me to stay I will.” Lance jerked his head up meet Keith’s sympathetic eyes. “And I understand. I felt the same way after I lost my parents.”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

“Positive.”

 

Lance settled back into the creaky bed and angled his body so he was facing Keith. He had sat back down in the chair he pulled up to the side of the bed and smiled softly at Lance before leaning his head onto his shoulder and closing his eyes.

 

Lance felt his stomach twist in an almost painful way as he stared at Keith’s now relaxed face. His black eyelashes were dark smudges against his pale skin, setting it off in the nicest way. His hair was still in the braid Lance had put it in hours earlier, expect now even more hair had strayed from it and framed his face. His arms were crossed over his chest and his breathing slowly evened out until Lance knew he was asleep.

 

Tears pricked at his eyes and it surprised him. And as Lance watched Keith sleep he felt a realization slam into him, hard and fast. Tears fell from his eyes and he smiled ruefully. _“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m in love with you Keith.”_

***

_Present Day_

“Lance?” Rolo asked again, watching him carefully.

 

Lance’s attention finally snapped back to the other man in the room watching him with a careful look. “Rolo. I apologize. I didn’t realize you worked here.”

 

Rolo crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his pen against the receptionist’s desk. “Ava cancel my morning appointments. I think my old friend and I have some catching up to do.”

 

“Sure thing.” Ava said. Was it just Lance or did she sound a little nervous? Rolo walked down the short hallway to what Lance guessed was his office. His stomach was still swirling with a variety of different emotions. For one, he never thought he would see Rolo again after they graduated from the Garrison. In fact he and Keith had made sure they would _never_ have to see him again, especially after he did to the both of them. He could feel the anger building up behind his eyes, making his head pound. _“What in the hell did you do to Keith?”_ Lance wanted to scream. Instead he kept his cool and followed Rolo into the office.

 

Lance’s interest peaked as he glanced quickly around the office. For as small as the company seemed to be Rolo’s office was ridiculously extravagant. In fact his office closely resembled the offices at Altea. All stainless steel, chrome and white. Rolo was dressed to the nines as well, a suit perfectly tailored to his slim form. His hair was buzzed extremely short on the sides but he still had a small bun on the top of his head. The only thing that hadn’t changed about him was the greedy look in his sleepy green eyes. “Looks like you are doing quite well for yourself.”

 

Rolo laughed and leaned back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other. “I suppose so. Altea isn’t the only successful company in this state you know.”

 

Titling his head slightly Lance debated which questions to start with. “What kind of tech does your company deal in?” Lance paused and laughed, “I’m sorry, I just assumed that you’re in charge here.” He knew he was being petty and awful but he couldn’t help it. Rolo had done some fucked up shit to he and Keith in the past, and now Lance is finally piecing together a puzzle that had haunted him for almost four years. It was still hard to believe a person from his past that caused him so much pain was at least partly responsible for everything he had suffered in the past years.

 

The friendly look in Rolo’s eyes slowly disappeared after Lance’s comment. “I do in fact run this company. And don’t make a lot of our own tech,” Rolo moved past Lance’s snarky remark quickly, “We make deals with larger companies on improving their tech and helping to ship it all over the world.”

 

“Interesting. Because Altea hasn’t heard of this company. We deal with smaller tech companies as well. At least ten across the Eastern seaboard.”

 

Rolo tapped his pen against his desk, “I’m sure we’ve crossed your radar before.”

 

Lance leaned forward slightly. “Pidge and Matt are in charge with making the deals with the smaller companies, and trust me if they knew you were here they would have told us and made an offer to you. I’m just a little surprised that we haven’t caught wind of this company before, especially considering you are such a short drive away.” He quirked a brow and enjoyed how unraveled Rolo was becoming. There was a lot of pent up anger and pain that Lance had been keeping down for too long. And Rolo was the target.

 

“I am aware of Altea, and how successful you are. But I also know the staff there.” It was Rolo’s turn to raise a brow, “And 90% of them want to see my head on stake because of what happened when we were all younger and foolish. So can understand my hesitation to work with Altea.”

 

“Yes, its crystal clear.”

 

The two men fell silent and regarded each other over Rolo’s stupidly expensive stainless steel desk. Lance didn’t really know where to go from here; Keith had given him the address and nothing else. Perhaps Keith had just wanted him to become aware of Rolo’s presence.

 

It was noteworthy that even though Rolo’s company was extremely small on the bad side of town, their facilities were extremely pleasant, and expensive. He had talked with Pidge and Matt enough to know that dealing with larger companies would bring money in for the smaller companies, but not enough for Rolo’s office and the rest of the building to be practically dripping in dollar signs. _“So where is all the extra money coming from?”_ Lance wondered distantly.

 

He noticed a folder sitting on Rolo’s desk and he could faintly make out the words Galra Tech. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and he fought to keep his face neutral. _“Maybe Lotor has some answers.”_

 

Rolo noticed Lance looking at the files on his desk and carefully crossed his arms over them. “So Lance, read in the paper a couple years ago that Keith vanished, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.”

 

Lance felt his nostrils flare and he met Rolo’s eyes with a fiery stare. “Yes. It’s been difficult.”

 

The sympathetic look on Rolo’s face didn’t reach his eyes. “How long has it been? Five, six years?”

 

“Three.” Lance ground out between his teeth.

 

“Ah.” Rolo annoyingly tapped his pen against his desk again and looked at the clock on his desk. “Well again I am sorry. I know how met much Keith meant to you.”

 

_“How much he_ still _means to me you complete and utter_ jackass.” Lance screamed in his head. Instead he kept a reserved expression on his face and fought not to leap across the desk and slam his fist into Rolo’s _stupid_ smug face.

 

“Well it has been nice catching up and all, but I really need to get back to work.”

 

Lance was already standing and heading out the door. “Of course, sorry to barge in unannounced.” He didn’t wait for Rolo to reply, he was already rushing past the front desk and pulling his keys out of his pocket. Once he was outside he practically sprinted to his car and got inside and locked the door and peeled out the parking lot.

 

What he didn’t see in his rush to leave was Rolo standing at the front windows of the small building, phone pressed to his ear. “Yeah, we’re going to have a problem.” He said into the phone.

 

***

_Rolo was the one that kidnapped you?_

_That absolute bastard!_

_I am going to kill him_

_I swear to GOD I will_

Keith felt a nervous breathe hitch from his lungs. He hated that Lance had to go to Rolo’s company on his own but he was grateful that Lance was still ok.

 

**_Where are you? Are you safe?_ **

****

**_Did he hurt you?_ **

****

_No. I’m home now_

“Oh thank god.” Keith said wearily, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his face into his hands. He was back in the basement hideout now. Shay had grown tired of his pacing and worrying so she had left and went god knows where. He picked the communicator back up and fired off a message.

 

**_Rolo’s company is involved with Galra Tech_ **

****

**_That much we’ve been able to find out_ **

****

No new messages lit up his screen and Keith started to worry his bottom lip. He put it down on the coffee table and laced his fingers together and rocked slowly back and forth. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the communicator started to chirp loudly, alerting him that someone was calling him. His heart nearly ripped out of his chest when he saw that Lance was trying to call him. And Keith nearly answered, but something held him back. The call ended eventually and Lance sent him a short message.

 

_Why didn’t you answer?_

_I’m kind of sick of trying to type all this shit out_

_You know it would faster to just talk it out_

Lance called him again but again, Keith couldn’t bring himself to answer the call. It was hard enough talking to Lance knowing how close he was to finally getting back to him. Hearing Lance’s voice might actually destroy him.

 

**_I’m scared_ **

****

A minute passed before another message lit up the screen.

 

_Don’t you think I am too?_

_But Keith, I need to hear your voice_

Another call came through and Keith took a deep breath before picking the communicator up with shaking hands and hesitantly answered the call. Neither one of them spoke for a long minute, but _god_ listening to Lance breathe was almost enough. Almost. Then Lance nervously asked, “Keith?” And Keith immediately started to cry.

 

“Yeah, its me.” He croaked, just as nervous as Lance.

 

It was completely silent on both ends of the call and when Lance spoke again Keith could tell he was crying too, and crying hard. “I never thought I’d hear your voice again.” Lance sounded so horribly sad and Keith felt it in his gut.

 

He wiped at his eyes and sucked in a deep breath of air. “I… I don’t know what to say.” He whispered. He didn’t know why he was whispering.

 

“Its ok,” Lance seemed to try and gain some control, “I called you. I just… I didn’t know what to expect.” Keith closed his eyes and let those words wash over him. Just hearing Lance talk was slowly reviving a part of him that was deeply scarred. “So, Rolo.” Lance started and Keith could hear the anger in his voice.

 

Keith looked down at his boots. “Yeah. When I showed up to the company I couldn’t believe it was him. The last thing I remember before I disappeared is Rolo hitting me over the head with something. Then I woke up in a basement.”

 

Lance remained horribly quiet. “I swear to god I am going to kill him.” Keith could almost see steam coming out of Lance’s ears.

 

“Normally I would say that’s the best plan of action but I am _not_ risking what happened to me happen to you too.” Keith said firmly. Before he could say anything else stupid he asked, “What can you tell me about the offices?”

 

Lance sighed heavily on his side of the line. “Everything was state of the art. All like chrome and shit.”

 

“Wait, seriously?”

 

“Yeah. I thought it was weird too. Why do you ask?”

 

“When I went to the company three years ago it looked like a rundown old computer company. Rolo and all the other employees looked like they could hardly even keep themselves dressed or fed.”

 

He heard some rustling around on Lance’s end, and he guessed correctly that Lance was writing everything down for future reference. “I did see a file on Rolo’s desk that said Galra Tech on it. Lotor told us that Zarkon took you, maybe Rolo did Zarkon a favor by taking you out of the picture and just, kept working for Zarkon.”

 

Keith hummed as he thought it over. “That would explain where all the money is coming from.”

 

“I’m going to talk to Lotor about it soon. He has some questions he needs to answer.”

 

Keith’s heart twisted in his chest. “So Altea is working with Lotor now?”

 

“I guess. Shiro went to talk to him the other day.” Lance sighed, “I don’t like it. But if it means I get you back then I’m going to have to deal with it.”

 

Worry and doubt crept up in Keith’s mind. He knew he couldn’t trust Galra Tech, but he knew Shiro, Matt and Lotor had been friends for a while. And he always trusted Shiro’s opinion in the past. He just prayed that it wouldn’t come back to stab them in the back. Lance was already in enough danger as it was. Nervously he tugged at the pony tail his hair was in. “Lance?” He squeezed his eyes shut. “You know we can’t keep doing… this. Its too dangerous.”

 

Lance stayed silent on his end for a long minute. “I know, but I just needed to hear your voice. I _needed_ to know Keith.”

 

Tears fell in rivers down Keith’s face. “I know,” He managed to choke out, “God believe me I know.”

 

“I miss you.” Lance whispered. “I miss you so goddamn much.”

 

Keith hunched over himself in an attempt to fight back the pain that ripped through him at Lance’s words. He didn’t think anything could hurt this badly. “I miss you too. So much I’m afraid it’s killing me.” Keith bit out through his sobs. “Please promise me that you be careful. I wouldn’t be able to survive without you.”

 

“I promise.” Lance’s voice was filled with so much pain. “You have to promise me the same thing. I can’t lose you again.”

 

Keith nodded into the phone; not realizing Lance couldn’t see him. “Keith? Before you go…”

 

“Yes Lance?” Keith asked carefully, wiping his eyes on the hem of his t-shirt.

 

“I love you.”

 

He felt like his entire body was broken and healed all at once and the tears he had just managed to stop erupted again. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYYYYYYY. So yeah. I wrote this chapter in about two hours because I'm feeling angsty. 
> 
> BUT HEY LOOK. Keith and Lance finally physically speak to each other for the first time in almost four years. And they're slowly starting to put some pieces of the puzzle together. 
> 
> We still got a long way to go friends, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	13. You Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyyy a chapter that's NOT flashbacks for once

“Yeah, we’re going to have a problem.”

 

“What sort of problem?”

 

Rolo turned from the window once Lance’s car was out of sight. “Lance was just here.”

 

“Seems pretty out of the blue.”

 

Rolo glared at Ava, the girl in charge of the front desk. She flushed under his intense gaze and turned her nervous eyes back to the screen in front of her. Rolo still wasn’t sure how Ava ended up in this type of world, the deals he had to make with Zarkon and other rulers of the back streets made her extremely nervous. At one point Rolo noticed that she carried pepper spray around in her bag. _“Like pepper spray would do shit in the face of Zarkon and his cronies.”_

 

He made his way back to his office and shut the door firmly behind him. “No one from Altea has been here since Keith. No one from Altea should even know my company exists. So how did Lance find out about it?” A nervous thought tripped through Rolo’s mind. “Unless Keith told him.”

 

“Impossible. We have constant eyes on McClain. He hasn’t had any contact with Kogane since his disappearance.” The voice on the other end of the call answered smoothly.

 

Rolo rubbed his eyes, “There are other ways to contact a person than just physical.” He defended wearily. It suddenly felt like the actions from three years ago were coming back to bite him in the ass. In the beginning he did want to turn Zarkon down, but in the end he was forced to make a decision to help save his company. Now he was able to stay afloat, but mostly through the illegal transactions he helped Zarkon and his minions carry out.

 

Now he never imagined that his life would take a turn like this, but once he got used to all the shady and underhanded business he had to do for Zarkon it didn’t seem so bad. In fact he had gotten comfortable in this lifestyle. Up until now it hadn’t seemed dangerous. But with the random appearance from Lance Rolo saw the life he had built for himself come crashing down around his ears. If Lance somehow knew that he was connected to Keith’s disappearance, (which Rolo highly suspected he already did, Lance wasn’t an idiot) and Lance went and told the authorities Zarkon would have him killed before the police could get to him.

 

He huffed nervously when the voice on the other end of the call didn’t answer. “Zarkon made sure to bury my name and company so no one would ever find it. So if Lance found me… he had to of talked to Keith.”

 

“Thanks for the warning.” Rolo could hear a smirk on the voice, “Watch your back. Speak of this to no one. And don’t contact us, we’ll get back to you.”

 

The line clicked off, the call now dead. The phone slipped from his grip and hit his metal top desk and dinged loudly. Rolo sighed and clenched his shaking hands into fists. “Yeah, I know the drill asshole.” But the threat echoed off his office walls and chilled him to the bone.

 

***

Lotor clicked off the call with Rolo and gently placed the communicator on his desk and folded his hands beneath his chin. He picked up a pen and twirled it in a circle with one, long slim finger. “Found your way to Rolo, did you McClain?” He asked into the air, amused.

 

He hadn’t lied to Rolo; he knew his father had people on everyone from Altea almost constantly. Though Lotor poked fingers into that system the best he could. He promised Shiro he would try to lessen the death grip his father had on Allura’s company. But he had to be careful; if his father caught the slightest whisper that Lotor was interfering with his business Lotor would be dead.

 

Literally.

 

It was curious though; Kogane must have gotten ahold of a communicator to be able to speak to Lance. For the most part it was a safer way to speak to each other, but damn it was bold. Communicators were so easy to track. Lotor correctly assumed that Keith’s superiors had no idea about the device, Lotor knew enough about Thace and Ulaz to know that they wouldn’t allow Kogane to do something so reckless.

 

The pen dropped back down to the desk with a dull _thump_ as Lotor straightened and looked out the window. He was still working from home; he hadn’t quite worked up the courage to get back to the office. Zarkon had been on edge lately, most likely due to his ex-wife’s presence. Haggar had been dropping by the office on a regular basis and it was driving everyone crazy. She still hadn’t reveled her reasoning’s for coming back, but Lotor suspected she soon might.

 

Kova jumped up from the floor and onto his lap and he absentmindedly started to stroke her fur. “I’m in one hell of a pickle here.” He said to the cat, “How should I deal with the Rolo problem, hm?” Kova gazed up at him and blinked, offering no helpful advice. “You’re right,” Lotor picked up his communicator and tapped a number in, swallowing his fear and pride.

 

It rang several times before a tired voice answered. “What do you want Lotor?” Lance’s voice was laced with anger and doubt… and a lot of exhaustion.

 

“You know about Rolo.”

 

It stayed silent on the other end of the line for a long time. Lotor grew nervous that Lance had hung up on him and he was sitting there with the communicator next to his ear like an idiot. “I did, but how did you know?” Lance’s voice was tinged with suspicion.

 

Lotor felt a grim smile slip across his face. “He just called me to warn me that you visited. Seems like you shook him up quite a bit.”

 

“Seems like your father has his claws sunk in a lot deeper than I had previously thought.”

 

“How do you know my father has anything to do with this?”

 

Lance sighed, “That bastard Rolo called you for one, so he was probably too scared to call your father to let him know that he fucked up. Plus Keith said Rolo’s office was practically run into the ground when he was there three years ago, but when I was there today it looked like Altea.”

 

“You spoken with Keith?”

 

Lance hesitated, “Briefly.”

 

Lotor felt his heart crash straight down to his stomach. So Rolo had been right. He rubbed a thumb into his right eye and bit his lip. “What did he tell you?”

 

“Well not that most of that conversation was any of your business.” Lance bit out. “But he couldn’t tell me much, other than Rolo being responsible for his disappearance.”

 

“Right. I apologize.” Lotor realized his faux pas a little too late, Keith and Lance hadn’t spoken to each other in almost four years, of course they wouldn’t be strictly concerned about the business at hand. “What are you going to do now?”

 

“I don’t know. Its not as easy as charging into Rolo’s office with the cops and demanding that he give my boyfriend back.” He stayed quiet for a moment, “This goes a lot deeper than I thought it did.”

 

Lotor didn’t know what to say, it wasn’t like Lance was wrong, but discovering Rolo was only scraping the top of the bucket. There was _so_ much more that he didn’t know. But he couldn’t tell Lance that, he couldn’t tell _anyone_ at Altea everything he knew. There is no way they would forgive him if he did. “Are you going to tell anyone else at Altea?”

 

“How can I? I’ve more or less been in contact with Keith for several months now; it would break Shiro’s heart if I told him now. I’ve been hiding his cousin from him.” The man on the other end of the line didn’t say more, so Lotor waited. “You’re the only person I can really talk to about this.”

 

Squeezing his eyes shut Lotor stroked Kova’s fur for reassurance. “And you trust me enough to keep this secret for you?”

 

“I don’t trust you.” Lance’s voice was hard as stone, “And if I find out you told anyone, I won’t be happy.”

 

“That’s one thing I don’t doubt McClain.”

***

Lance trudged into Altea on yet another rainy morning, mind running wild. It had been about a week since he had heard Keith’s voice and now it felt like he was suffering a withdrawal. Keith’s voice was like a drug, and Lance needed more.

 

After he had ended the call that night he cried until his entire body hurt. He couldn’t tell if it was happy tears, but something inside him had shifted. For three years he had listened to everyone closest to him, the police, the detectives all tell him that Keith was gone, and probably gone for good. The thought of Keith just _leaving_ and dying and rotting alone had festered in Lance’s mind until it became a deadly poison, slowly killing him.

 

How many nights had he agonized over what Keith’s last moments were like? Did he suffer? Was it fast? If he was dead why couldn’t they find a body? Shiro only mentioned it once, (probably because Lance had a mental breakdown afterwards) that they put a headstone in the cemetery for Keith; it might’ve helped everyone find closure.

 

But it made Lance feel sick. Of course he could understand wanting closure, he _craved_ it. He wanted so badly to know what happened to Keith so he could finally put the poison to rest. But he couldn’t bear the thought of putting a headstone above and empty grave, and empty coffin. Because Keith wasn’t dead. He _couldn’t_ be dead. Lance tried explaining the feeling to Shiro, to Hunk, even his mother. They wouldn’t take him seriously.

 

But somewhere in his heart Lance could _feel_ it. Keith wasn’t dead; he was still out there somewhere. And Lance wasn’t going to stop until he found him.

 

So when that first message had flashed across his communicator screen, using a nickname that only Keith used, Lance felt like he came alive again. After the initial adrenaline had passed thought doubts started to surface in Lance’s mind. He tried to convince himself that it was a cruel joke someone was playing on him. For a while he was sure it was his friends using one last ditch attempt to help Lance move on.

 

But _God,_ when he heard Keith’s hesitant voice on the other end of that fucking call his entire world shattered and mended itself all at once. Keith was _alive._ He was alive and he was doing everything in his power to get home. And Lance would be damned if he wasn’t going to play his part.

 

The morning after the phone call Lance had woken up and it felt like the elephant that had been sitting on his chest for the past three years was gone. He could breathe again; he could open up all the closed doors in his mind and let himself remember Keith.

 

Like the time he tried to make Lance’s favorite desert and accidently set it on fire in the oven.

 

Or how he always brought Lance a white chocolate mocha to the office on Tuesdays.

 

The one time he and Keith danced on the roof of their apartment building, the lights of the city shining behind them.

 

How he looked when he was sleeping. Lance had always been an early riser, so he liked to watch Keith sleep. It was like a little secret Lance had all to himself. Keith had always had freakishly good skin (Lance was jealous) but in the early morning haze his skin looked like porcelain, there wasn’t a wrinkle or bump to be seen, well besides the scar he had through his left eyebrow. Keith’s hair would always stick out in awkward angles, matted from sleep. His black eyelashes would contrast with his skin; he was the most beautiful creation Lance had ever seen.

 

But nothing would ever be better than waking Keith up with gentle kisses and laughter. He would wake up with a smile and a sloppy kiss pressed into Lance’s neck.

 

Lance realized he had walked into his office and sat down without really being aware of doing it. Daydreaming about Keith had become quite a regular occurrence. Apparently hearing his voice had done a lot to conquer a lot of Lance’s fears as well. He wasn’t scared to look at the pictures on his desk anymore. That stabbing pain through his heart was no longer there when he saw Keith’s smiling face.

 

Rubbing his eyes Lance’s booted up his work station and attempted to concentrate on the literal million lines of code Allura had been sending him. She was still making excellent progress with Blue, but Red was remaining as stubborn as usual. The lion refused to accept that Keith wasn’t around, “ _Well at least for now.”_ Lance thought, glimmers of hope running through his heart.

 

Settling a headset around his head he reached out to Red. _“Hey buddy. Its me.”_

_“Keith?”_

Rolling his eyes Lance answered, _“How times am I going to have to tell you Keith isn’t here?”_ No response. _“But he’s coming back.”_ Lance went out on a limb with that and hoped to God he wouldn’t regret this.

 

_“When?”_

_“I’m not sure. But he is still alive. He is out there. I am going to everything I can to bring him back.”_

Red growled. _“Is he in danger?”_

Lance’s heart clenched. “ _I think so. But I am not sure.”_

Lance felt his head empty out, a single that Red had left. “Fuck.” Lance groaned, rubbing at his forehead. Just as he was about to take off the headset Red came back.

 

_“Bring him back safe.”_

A grin erupted across Lance’s face. _“You know I will. But Red, I need you to work with me.”_

The lion didn’t say anything for a long time. _“Fine.”_

 

Just like that the lions presence was gone again, but Lance celebrated in that one small victory. He knew he wasn’t Keith, but finally Altea could take the final steps in finishing Voltron.

 

“Haven’t seen you smile like that in months.” Shrio stood in his office doorway and grinned. “Something happen?”

 

“I think I finally got through to Red.” Lance’s eyes were sparkling; he gestured for Shiro to come over so he could see the holoscreen. “Look at this shit! Brand new lines of code, and from Red and not Blue!”

 

Shiro glanced at the holoscreen and felt his eyes widen. “Oh my god, you’re right. This is incredible!”

 

“Allura!” Lance shouted out into the hallway, “Get in here, quick!”

 

Hunk walked into Lance’s office, curiosity getting the best of him. He stood behind Lance’s chair and leaned against Lance’s shoulders. “What’s up buddy?”

 

Just as Lance was about to answer Allura walked into the office and Lance glanced up, excitement overflowing from his features. “Red is sending new code!”

 

Pidge and Matt stuck in their heads in the office as well, wondering what all the commotion was all about.

 

“Red is doing _what?”_ Allura asked, rushing to join Hunk and Shiro behind the desk.

 

“Sending new code! We haven’t seen activity from him like this in months!” Lance was practically jumping up and down in his office chair. “I think I finally got through to him!”

 

Pidge had scrambled behind the desk as well, and Hunk moved out the way and stood near the doorway, taking the scene in. He hadn’t seen Lance get this excited over something since Keith disappeared. Lance was almost _glowing._ The entire office was radiating with an energy Hunk hadn’t felt in years. Hot tears pricked behind his eyes and he did he best to blink them away.

 

Shiro met his eyes from behind the desk and they shared a secret smile. Maybe things were finally starting to look up.

 

***

Thace was glaring at a chart Ulaz had just handed him, irritation creased between his eyes. “Haggar is still here?”

 

“I saw her at Galra Tech around 10 this morning. She left before 10: 30. No one seems to know what she is trying to accomplish.” Shay crossed her arms over her chest and glared out the window.

 

Thace rubbed his chin and closed his eyes. “Do you think she’s only trying to get under Zarkon’s skin?”

 

“I don’t think she would waste her time doing something so trivial.” Ulaz sat down in a plush chair and crossed his legs; “She is too smart for that.”

 

“Keith,” Thace turned his attention to the man sitting in the corner of the room, “You say Shirogane was present during throughout some of the divorce?”

 

Keith nodded, expression grim. “Apparently it was pretty ugly. She wouldn’t take Zarkon’s side during the legal battles over Voltron. Shiro didn’t know why though.” Keith was getting antsy. The four of them had been in a meeting for almost three hours now, picking over the smallest details from their constant surveillance of Galra Tech. And they had gotten exactly nowhere. They still had no idea why Haggar was here. Keith suspected that Zarkon was close to a breakthrough and Haggar was coming back to try and get her share of the royalties.

 

“Shirogane and Holt were friends with Lotor, were they not?” Ulaz asked.

 

“They were, for a brief time anyway. Lotor was interning at Altea at the same time as Shiro and Matt. Shiro told me Zarkon forced Lotor to leave the company after Alfor won all the court cases.”

 

From what Shay and Keith had observed in the past couple of days Lotor had not been in the office for almost a week. This wasn’t totally out of the normal for him, Keith supposed if his father was Zarkon he would try and spend as much time away from him as possible too. But now that Haggar was back in town Lotor’s absence was a cause for concern.

 

Thace crumbled up the papers in front of him and threw them against the wall. “So where is the precious heir to the Galra Tech empire? Why is he avoiding both his father and mother? What does he know?” The anger and frustration in his voice was obvious.

 

“Thace, calm down. We just need to think this through.” Ulaz said quietly.

 

“Calm down? Calm down?” Thace laughed bitterly, “Galra Tech is always five fucking steps ahead of us. Every damn time we make the slightest bit of progress a hundred more problems get in our way.”

 

Keith turned his eyes to the floor and studied the toes of his boots. He hated when Thace got like this. Granted they were all frustrated, but Thace was a little more prone to anger than the rest of them. Keith crossed his arms and dug his nails into his skin until he could feel the hurt. “There has to be something we are missing.” Keith offered, hoping to end Thace’s rage before it got even worse. “Lotor is too smart to just sit passively by.”

 

Ulaz sent a nod his way. “Keith is right. We just haven’t looked at the situation from all angles yet.”

 

Thace sat back down and drug his hands through his hair and huffed angrily. He looked up and trapped Keith in his angry gaze. “So enlighten me Kogane, what are we missing? What piece of the puzzle are you keeping from us?”

 

Keith instantly felt defensive. “I’m not _hiding_ anything.” He exhaled deeply through his nose, _“I’m only hiding Lance from you”._

 

Shay glared at him. “Yeah Keith, got anything to say?”

 

Keith felt his chest tighten. “We haven’t checked up on Altea lately, maybe Lotor is there.”

 

Shay scoffed. “Why would he be there?”

 

“He used to be one of Shiro’s closet friends. Maybe he is trying to help them.” What Keith couldn’t say is that Lance told him Lotor was starting to help Altea. He could try to steer Thace in that direction though, and maybe finally send some help Lance’s way.

 

Thace laughed and shook his head. “You need to stop looking for the good in everyone Kogane.”

 

“No, he might be right.” Ulaz piped up. His expression was completely even, but Keith knew him well enough by now to know he was thinking in overdrive. “Like Keith said, Lotor is too smart to just sit by while his father tries to tear the world down. Have Shay watch Altea for a couple hours today. If Lotor shows up at any point then we’ll have more to talk about. We can move forward from there.” Ulaz started Thace down.

 

Keith usually thought he should be more scared of Thace in these types of situations, but looking at Ulaz now he knew he needed to change his opinion.

 

Groaning Thace dropping his face into his hands. “Fine. Shay, get to Altea. Report on _anything_ of interest.”

 

“Roger that.” She said with sarcasm. Grabbing her bag she roughly bumped Keith’s shoulder on the way out and Keith knew he was going to get an earful from her later.

 

The room fell into silence. Keith started to feel a little awkward, as was thinking about slipping out the door until Ulaz’s voice stopped him. “Keith. You’re acting off. Is there anything you want to tell us?”

 

_“Goddamn Ulaz and being able to read people like they are open fucking books.”_ Keith silently cursed in his mind. “I’m just nervous.” He swallowed thickly, “And scared.”

 

“Scared for yourself?”

 

“Of course not.” Keith bit out. He regretted it when it met Thace’s eyes. “You know exactly why I’m scared.” He stared Thace down, daring the older man to make a move.

 

“Your concerns and loyalties are to us Kogane, don’t forget that.” Thace’s voice was rough.

 

Planting his feet more firmly on the ground Keith dropped his arms to his sides. “My only loyalties are to my family.”

 

“You mean Lance.” Thace countered.

 

“Of course. And to Shiro, and Matt. Hunk and Allura. Pidge. _My family.”_

 

Thace stood and slammed a hand down on the desk in front of him. “You are letting your feelings for one person cloud your judgment! All of our work is at risk because you can’t stop daydreaming!”

 

Keith felt rage boil in his stomach and he was screaming back before he could stop himself. “Well at least I still have someone to believe in! Lance is all I have, and I will do _anything_ to get back to him!”

 

“Everything you are today is because of Ulaz and I!”

 

“Of course I am going to be forever in debt to you two for what you’ve done for me, but you are so blinded by your fucking vendetta that you can’t see a world after! What are you planning on doing when you finally crumble Zarkon’s kingdom for good, huh?” Thace faltered for a moment, “Exactly!” Keith screamed, he felt tears pricking at the back of his eyes. “I have a fucking reason for this, to keep Lance safe. To keep the rest of my family safe. _That is all that fucking matters to me!”_ Keith screamed so loud his voice cracked and grew hoarse. Breathing heavily he ran from the room, Ulaz calling after him.

 

Running blindly out into the rain Keith tried to calm down. He hadn’t gotten that angry with Thace in a long time. The guilt started to rise up in the back of his throat and he knew he should go back and apologize but his feet kept carrying him further from Ulaz’s offices.

 

Making his way back to the hovel he and Shay called home he started to calm down. It was true that Keith had people left to fight for… but Thace had no one. Ulaz, Keith and Shay were Thace’s world. But when Zarkon was gone for good what would Thace do? He is so driven by anger and the need for revenge that he can’t see a life behind hiding the shadows and plotting to take down a company much bigger than he knew.

 

Keith finally got back home and slammed through doors and collapsed on the rotting couch and covered his face with his hands. Angry tears started to leak from his eyes. He was so sick of hiding and being scared for his life. All he wanted was Lance.

 

It had been one thing to watch Lance from afar, but actually hearing his voice after so _goddamn_ long nearly ruined him. When Lance talked Keith could hear all the pent up pain and anger these past three years had caused. God he wanted nothing more than to hold Lance in his arms and never let go. A physical ache started in Keith’s chest until it welled up the back of his throat and he started to scream. Sitting up on the couch he dug his hands into his hair and pulled. He screamed until his voice gave out. All the pain and frustration nearly crippled him.

 

Falling back down on the couch he closed his eyes and tried to calm down his breathing. He heard the door the basement room open but he didn’t tense like he usually did, he knew exactly who was coming. Footsteps sounded across the floor and stopped when they reached the old chair across the couch. “Thace wants to kill me doesn’t he?”

 

Ulaz sighed, “No. He is just very angry.”

 

Keith opened his eyes and angled his head so he could see Ulaz. “I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up.”

 

Ulaz laughed lightly. “You are not a ‘fuck up’. You are stubborn.” His voice was gentle.

 

Sitting up Keith unlaced his boots and took them off. “You and Thace risked everything to rescue me, and I haven’t been able to repay the favor. Shay says you accomplished a lot more without me in the picture.”

 

“Well you know Shay. That young girl has about as much hate in her heart as Thace. That’s why they get along so well.”

 

Keith met Ulaz’s eyes. “What have I done to help you?”

 

“You’ve done more than you think Kogane. You give the rest of us hope.”

 

“Yeah?” A bitter laugh fell from his lips, “How do I give you hope?”

 

Ulaz crossed his legs and looked down at his hands. “Seeing your fierce determination to get back to the ones you love fuels the fire under our feet as well. It reminds us that we aren’t needlessly trying to tear down a company we don’t like. You remind us that Galra Tech is effecting lives outside ours.” He sighed, “There is more to life than living in an old basement and only moving at night because you’re afraid of being seen.”

 

Keith didn’t know what to say. He waited until Ulaz went on. “There is something we all want to get back to Keith. You just help us remember why we want to get back.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok y'all, first off lemme say sorry for dropping off the face of the planet for a couple of months. School hit me HARD, I don't have that many classes but the course work is SUPER intensive and I spend hours everyday going over language theory and studying gender and sexuality. Yo girl is also working two jobs so when I'm not in class I'm working constantly! 
> 
> As of late I've also been struggling pretty intensely with my depression and anxiety. It has come to the point where it is hard for me to get motivated about anything, but I promise I am working on it! 
> 
> I also know this chapter is pretty damn short as compared to others I have published in the past, but I really wanted to get a chapter out so you guys know that I haven't given up on this fic, and I don't plan to! 
> 
> I hope to have more chapters up really soon! Thank you so much to everyone that has taken time out of their day to read this fic, I really don't want to leave this unfinished.


	14. A Tyrant Doesn't Seek Stability, Only Power.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *deep inhale* ULAZZZZZZZZZ

Keith rested his chin on the windowsill in front of him and groaned. It was his turn to watch Galra Tech for the day and he had been here for six hours and so far nothing had happened. He had gotten a couple impatient walkie-talkie calls from Thace, demanding to know if he had seen anything yet. It had been a week since he and Keith had gotten into their screaming match and so far Thace had refused to speak to him unless he was giving orders or getting status updates.

 

It had been a long time since Keith had felt this alienated from the group. Of course Ulaz and Thace first rescued him and sent him even further away from Lance he had grown to resent the men that had helped him. But Ulaz was a patient man and he slowly broke down Keith’s walls and got to know him better.

 

Shay had never really opened up to Keith, and when they were forced to live together it seemed their relationship crumbled even more. A few weeks after Keith had been rescued Shay had overheard Shay telling Thace and Ulaz that bringing Keith onto the team was the biggest mistake they had ever made.

 

Thace had always done his best to get Keith to warm up to him, and even though they eventually developed a mutual trust of each other it was hard for the men to bond the way Ulaz and Keith had. Keith did respect Thace, but he would probably never tell him that to his face. Thace only agreed to rescue Keith because he knew Keith would have valuable information about Altea. Plus they fought a lot of the time. It was Ulaz that convinced Thace to let Keith move back into the same city as Lance.

 

Keith blew his bangs out of his face and looked at the city beyond Galra Tech. It finally wasn’t raining for once and the sun glimmered through what leaves still remained on the trees. It would be winter before too long, and stakeouts were about to get a lot more miserable.

 

Cars passed on the street below and Keith found himself envying them. What nine to five job were they driving too? How many of them were doing something as meaningless as buying a gallon of milk? How many of those minivans carried soccer moms and their children on their way to the next pee wee match? It was the simple mundane things that Keith found that he missed the most. Little things like baking cookies for everyone at the office, or going to see a movie or even just taking a nice walk through the park. He couldn’t do any of those things anymore; the fear of being discovered was too great.

 

“Exciting afternoon?”

 

Turning around Keith saw Ulaz climbing the ladder up to the loft. “Sure. I’ve seen the mailman leave a single letter in the mailbox.” Dejected Keith slumped and put his chin back on the windowsill.

 

Ulaz sat down behind Keith and picked up the binoculars Keith had discarded hours ago. “Who has come into the office so far?”

 

“Zarkon came in an hour before he usually does. I told Thace about it but he didn’t seem too interested. The only other person I’ve seen today is Sendak.”

 

“Sendak was away on a business trip for awhile wasn’t he?”

 

“Mhm. He went to a couple different places throughout Europe. Mostly likely trying to sell a product of some sort. We haven’t seen any big headlines about new Galra Tech products yet.”

 

Ulaz put the binoculars down and pulled his jacket tighter around his shoulders. “I wonder where all the other employees are?”

 

Sighing Keith straightened up so he could crack his neck. “There are only a couple others besides Sendak that have stayed with the company. Zarkon is loosing money fast, apparently he couldn’t keep paying everyone.”

 

“So no sign of Lotor or Haggar today?”

 

Keith shook his head. “It’s been almost two weeks since Lotor has been here. Maybe he left on a trip and we didn’t notice?”

 

“That could be a possibility. A little unlikely though. I feel that he is probably holed up in his apartment and avoiding his father.” He took a thermos out of his jacket and poured Keith a cup of coffee. “Have this. Might help take a little bit of the chill off.”

 

“Thanks.” Keith took the coffee gratefully; the metal cup was helping to warm up his fingertips. Shay liked to make fun of his fingerless gloves; she said they were highly unpractical. He glanced at Ulaz a little curiously; he hardly ever did stakeouts anymore. “Did Thace send you to check up on me or something?”

 

He smiled and shook his head. “I’m here to check up on you. You’ve been worrying me lately.”

 

Keith felt his eyebrows shoot up. “ _I’m_ worrying _you?”_

 

Ulaz looked at him like he was a small child he was about to scold. “Of course Keith. It may not seem like it all the time, but I do care about you. Maybe a little too much.”

 

Setting the cup of coffee on the floor in front of him Keith turned around so he could see Ulaz better. “What do you mean?”

 

“You know I don’t have a family. I was an only child and my parents died right before I started medical school. I’ve been on my own for a long time Keith. Meeting Thace was unexpected, but I am grateful that we found each other. He needed me when he left Galra Tech, I wasn’t used to being needed by someone, especially someone as headstrong as Thace. And even though Shay pretends not to care I know she does.”

 

Keith shifted, not sure how to take this onslaught of information. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

 

Smiling Ulaz shook his head, “I’m not finished either. I know Shay has told you that bringing you on board for this mission was a mistake, but I think it was one of the best things we’ve done. We heard about your disappearance through newspapers and news reports. But it was young McClain that struck a nerve in my heart.”

 

“What do you mean?” Keith asked quietly, feeling his heart tense up.

 

“Watching that young man, day in and day out, plastering the city and any other town within a hundred mile radius with posters of your face and his contact information, it was a determination I had never seen before. I knew he had a strong heart, so I started looking into your case, your supposed ‘disappearance’. There were many things that didn’t seem to add up and I couldn’t let it go.” He stopped for a moment to pour another a cup of coffee. He stared out the window at Galra Tech, but Keith could see that he was a million miles away. “So imagine my surprise when almost a year after you vanished a young man with the last name McClain ended up as one of my patients after an attempted suicide.”

 

Keith’s quick intake of breath sounded like a hiss. “I thought we all agreed not to mention that.” He bit out. He can still clearly remember the day Thace had told him to come to Ulaz’s office; they had grim news for him. Keith wanted to block that day from his head completely. He knew Lance had been hurting, hell he had been too. But he had no idea Lance was going to try…

 

He had almost lost the love of his life because he hadn’t gotten back to him yet. The guilt and fear almost ate Keith alive. For months after he got the news he lived on edge, terrified he would end up reading Lance’s obituary in the newspaper.

 

“Why are you bringing this up?” Keith turned angry eyes to Ulaz.

 

Ulaz met his gaze firmly. “I saw both of you grow stronger after that day. Ever since you joined the team you have been focused on taking Zarkon down. But after you almost lost the one thing you are fighting for your determination grew tenfold.” He turned his gaze back out the window. “I know you probably don’t think there is a point to this speech, but I promise you there is. Seeing you two fight for what you most believe in, well it helps put things into perspective.”

 

“I’m confused. You’ve always been driven Ulaz.”

 

He laughed a little bitterly, “No. Not at all. For a long time all I did for this team was provide the money that was needed. I didn’t really see the point in trying to tear down what used to be a multimillion-dollar company. But your passion, the love you still have for McClain, its rather inspiring Kogane.”

 

Keith stared the wall opposite him and tried to process what Ulaz was telling him. How could some punk kid inspire someone as loyal and brave as Ulaz?

 

“So, the next time Shay tries to tell you that you don’t belong on this team, just remember that you and you alone are the only thing inspiring me anymore.”

 

Shaking his head Keith met Ulaz’s eyes. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

 

“Because you seem to be losing steam. This operation has taken a lot out of all of us. Wasted years of our lives. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I _know_ you are going to find your way back to your family.” Ulaz cuffed Keith’s shoulder and smirked, “You’re too stubborn not to.”

 

The men fell silent as they stared at Galra Tech across the street. It was rare for Ulaz to be so vocal about his feelings, Keith still didn’t know how to feel. He had always thought his reasons for staying on with Thace and Ulaz were pretty damn selfish, he never once thought Ulaz would be inspired by Keith’s need to finally get back to Lance.

 

“What are you going to do once this is finally all over?” Keith asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

 

A car alarm sounded in the distance and was quickly silenced. “That is a great question.” He rubbed at his chin, lost in thought. “I’ll of course still have my practice. I am the only neurosurgeon in town after all. But you’ll move on. As will Shay and Thace.”

 

“You’ll be alone.”

 

“I suppose I will. I am just afraid that you’ll all follow your ambition down a road you can’t return from.”

 

Keith picked his coffee cup back up and gripped it tightly in his hands. “Shay told me she doesn’t expect to make it out of this alive.”

 

Ulaz hummed. “She has told me that as well. Foolish of her really.”

 

“My goal is to get back to Lance, but if I had to die in order to keep him safe, I won’t hesitate.”  

 

“That is what worries me Keith.”

 

Keith was a little taken aback, Ulaz hardly ever called him by his first name. “But why? Its my life, not yours.”

 

Ulaz fixed Keith with a hard stare. “You are a young man, only 24. Don’t take the issue of your life so lightly. You are one of the most gifted minds of this century. I understand how badly you want to keep McClain safe, but _you_ need to get out of this alive. The world would suffer if you died too soon.”

 

Keith stared back, completely shocked. “Ulaz…”

 

He simply held up a hand to get Keith to stop talking. “I know I don’t usually talk like this, but I refuse to let you become a martyr to this cause. You have too much living left to do.”

 

“Thank you.” Keith said softly, turning his attention back to Galra Tech across the street. He hardly ever saw Ulaz get so passionate about matters concerning this operation. Keith knew Ulaz stayed for Thace’s benefit, they supported each other in a ways no one else could. But Keith didn’t know the extent of how deeply Ulaz cared for him; at least he didn’t up until now. It made Keith look at his situation in a completely new way. “You won’t be alone after this.” He said suddenly, breaking the silence, “I’ll make sure of it.”

 

Keith felt a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate that, Keith.”

 

Suddenly a black car pulled up in front of Galra Tech. “See that?” Keith asked, moving a little closer to the window.

 

“Mhm.”

 

A figure emerged from the car, the sun shining off the windows so that they couldn’t see a face. “I don’t think its Haggar this time.”

 

“Damn this sun. The one time we need it not to be shining.”

 

“I was thinking the same thing.” Keith answered, moving as close to the window as he could without becoming visible to the people beyond the window. “It’s a woman, that much I can tell. Young too.” Squinting the figure finally moved away from the window and Keith got a clear look at her face. “What the fuck? Its Acxa.”

***

_One Year After Keith’s Disappearance_

 

“I don’t get it Thace, there are parts of this story that just aren’t adding up.”

 

Thace dropped a file he had been reading on the desk in front of him. “You need to let this go, Ulaz. You’ve been obsessing over this for _months_ now.”

 

“Don’t you think it’s a little odd that an employee of Altea just up and vanishes right around the time Galra Tech starts to make moves?”

 

“It is odd yes, but I hardly think it has anything to do with Galra Tech. The kid probably just got mixed up with a bad crowd, or was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

 

Ulaz groaned and rubbed at his eyes. “That ‘kids’ name is Keith. Keith Kogane, and you know Alfor handpicked all of his employees before he died. He chose that kid for a reason.” Thace didn’t respond and Ulaz felt his anger grow, “How many fools errands have you sent me on? I’ve followed up on so many dead end leads for you.”

 

“What are you trying to say?” Thace grew irritated and sat up in his chair, “Because I’m not sure I like it.”

 

Sighing Ulaz touched one of Thace’s hands, “I’m just asking you to trust me, just this once. There _has_ to be a connection there somewhere.”

 

Thace stared at Ulaz for a long minute, then he sighed, acknowledging that he had lost this argument, at least for now. “What do you want us to do?”

 

“I’m not sure yet. But need to talk to McClain.”

 

“You mean the nut job that hasn’t shut up about Kogane’s disappearance?”

 

Ulaz felt a glare crease his forehead. “He isn’t some nut job. He is just a man looking for the one he loves.” He watched Thace roll his eyes and pick up the file he had been looking at earlier. “What would you do if I dropped off the face of the planet without a word?”

 

Thace’s eyes shot up to the man across from him. “Ulaz.”

 

Frustration welled up the back of Ulaz’s throat. “If you just let it go, didn’t react at all, I would be disappointed in you. I know you, or at least I think I do. So if I were to disappear and you didn’t use all your energy to find me then you aren’t the man I thought you were.” Ulaz moved his hand away from Thace’s and swallowed thickly.

 

“How is that fair?”

 

“I know I would spend every last second of my life looking for you.”

 

The two men regarded each other across Ulaz’s desk. The tense silence was enough to bring tears to Ulaz’s eyes. Blinking rapidly he shuffled some papers around his desk in an attempt to look busy. “I’m sorry. I crossed a line.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye Ulaz saw Thace get up out of his chair to come squat in front of him. “Ulaz. Look at me.” Ulaz found that he couldn’t rip his eyes away from a pen on his desk.

 

“Please.”

 

All of his defenses crumbled and he met Thace’s eyes. It was shocking to see a light mist reflected in them. “Of course I would look for you. I wouldn’t stop until I knew for sure what happened.”

 

Taking a shuddering breath he wiped a stray tear from Thace’s cheek. “So we can’t discredit anything McClain has done in trying to track down Kogane. Especially when we both know we would do the same.”

 

“Alright. So we talk to him. And ask him what?” Thace asked gently, still squatting in front of Ulaz’s chair.

 

He was about to respond when the phone on his desk rang. Thace stood up and ran a hand down the other mans cheek before he answered the phone. “This is Marmora Offices, you’ve reached Ulaz”. He listened to what the nurse on the other end of the line had to say, his eyes growing wide. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Setting the phone back down on the receiver Ulaz practically leapt up from his chair in his haste to find his coat.

 

“What is it? What happened?” Thace’s worried eyes followed him through the room.

 

Ulaz opened the door to his office and looked back at the man he loved, “It’s going to easier to talk to McClain than we thought. He was just admitted to the hospital.”

***

Ulaz reached the hospital about ten minutes later, trying not to come off as eager to talk to a patient that just attempted suicide. He dropped his bag off in his other office and shrugged into his white doctors coat and hunted down a nurse that would have the information he needed.

 

“Oh! Doctor, I’m glad I ran into you. Mr. McClain just woke up, I told him you could over his charts with him.”

 

Ulaz took the clipboard the nurse handed him and smiled tensely at her. “Thank you. What room is in he?”

 

“194, just down the hall.”

 

“Again, thank you. I’ll see how he is feeling now and go over a treatment plan with him once he is more rested.” He started making his way down the hall, a sort of nervous anticipation crawling up his stomach. Really he shouldn’t be this excited, but something deep in his gut told him that the young man in the hospital room down the hall could be the key to everything.

 

The door to room 194 was closed so he gently rapped his knuckles against the door before opening it slowly, a little scared for what he would find. Young McClain was the only patient in the room, and it was mostly dark. An exhausted man sat in the hospital bed; his eyes were sunken back in his head. Tired blue eyes flashed up to meet his, and Ulaz felt a shock run down his spine.

 

The only other person in the room was sitting in a chair next to the bed, and he looked just as exhausted as McClain did. “Hello. Sorry to interrupt, I’m the doctor on call this evening.” The only thing he got in response was a tight smile from the man sitting next to the bed. Ulaz stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him, flipping through Lance’s charts. “You gave us quite a scare young man.”

 

Lance sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

 

Turning his attention to the man sitting next to the bed Ulaz stuck out his free hand. “A friend I’m assuming?”

 

“Mhm. Name’s Hunk.” Hunk shook his hand and then moved his attention back to his friend in the hospital bed.

 

“Pleasure to meet you Hunk, and you’re Lance correct?”

 

Again Lance only nodded. “I assure you, there is nothing to be scared of here Lance. I’ve looked over your charts and we’d like to keep you for about a week, to monitor your sleeping patterns and have you talk with a psychiatrist. Does that sound ok to you?”

 

Lance’s eyes finally met Ulaz’s and he was disheartened at what he saw. There was no life behind those blue eyes, they were only bottomless pits filled with pain. “That sounds fine.” Lance finally spoke. His voice was low and scratchy, a normal occurrence since he had to throw up all the pills he had taken.

 

“Alright, I’ll leave you to your friend for now. Drink plenty of water and try to get some more rest. If you need anything just hit this red button on this remote here.” Ulaz attempted to keep his voice neutral, but Lance’s condition was affecting him more than he thought it would. He lightly touched one of Lance’s shoulders. “We’re here to help you, Lance.”

 

Lance didn’t look up at Ulaz. “I appreciate it.” He whispered. The older man could tell Lance was close to tears, and he was in better care with his friend than he was with a doctor.

 

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” With that he spun on his heel and headed out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. The hallway suddenly seemed too loud, too overbearing. Making his way back to his office Ulaz rubbed wearily at his face, debating on what his next moves should be. McClain was obviously in a bad way, of course he wasn’t sure if they attempted suicide had been over the missing Kogane yet, but he was almost positive that that was what had driven McClain over the edge.

 

He made it back to his office, closed the door and locked it behind him. Sinking heavily into his chair he flipped open the file the hospital had started on Lance and began to look through it, heart growing heavy.

 

According to his file Lance had struggled with depression and anxiety from a young age, and his family was in the rare spectrum that old diseases like heart attacks still affected. Ulaz rubbed a hand over his face and let the file drop shut. He was starting to rethink this plan. It wasn’t even really a plan. He had just wanted to talk to Lance, but now he was in such a delicate state, it didn’t seem right to try and pry any more information out of a broken man.

 

His cellphone started to ring, ripping through the quiet of the room. Wearily Ulaz checked to see who was calling and answered the call. Thace’s deep voice filled his ear instantly, “Is everything ok? You left the office so fast…”

 

“Yes, yes. I am fine.” Ulaz paused and studied the carpet in the room, “McClain was admitted to the hospital after an attempted suicide.”

 

“Jesus.”

 

“I just saw him,” He attempted to swallow past the lump in his throat, “Thace, I…”

 

“You don’t have to say it.”

 

“You’re the one with the heart for situations like this.”

 

Thace chuckled lightly, “There is no pressure on you right now. It’s just a theory you had. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

 

Ulaz weighed his options and struggled with his inner conscious. “I’m checking up on him again in a few hours. We want to keep him in the hospital for at least a week… I don’t know, maybe I can try to talk to him when things aren’t so… fresh.”

 

“Its your call. I’ll talk to you later, ok? Call me if you need anything.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Thace ended the call and Ulaz sat alone in his dark office, wondering what to do next. He wasn’t cut out for this. He was a doctor, not an undercover spy. But Thace needed him, and he was in too deep to walk away now. How desperately he wished this mess with Galra Tech was over, Thace’s obsession with ending the company was slowly pulling him apart. It was painful to watch. Leaning back in his chair Ulaz covered his eyes with his hands and chuckled darkly. Never in a million years could he have pictured his life ending up like this.

***

The next morning Ulaz made his way to the hospital with a pit in his stomach. He was going to talk with Lance a little more extensively today, and he was terrified of accidently pushing the young man too far. He was already in such a delicate place, what he needed now was his friends and a counselor, not a doctor poking his nose into his business.

 

The hospital had contacted Lance’s primary psychiatrist, but he wasn’t going to be able to get back to speak with Lance until the next day. Ulaz had a degree in psychology so he offered to step in for the day. _“Just offer your professional advice. You can make it up to Thace later.”_

“Morning, Doctor.” The greeting from a nurse brought him out of his funk and he smiled tightly. “Mr. McClain is awake, so whenever you are ready to speak with him.”

 

“Thank you Ellen. I’m just going to drop my things off in my office.” Ulaz stepped into his dark office and set his briefcase down and inhaled deeply. “You’re a grown man, get it together.” He whispered tightly to himself. Rifling through his briefcase until he found the file he needed he took one last breath for courage and headed to Lance’s room. He felt like he was hesitating too long outside the door. _“Ok. Ok. You can do this.”_

“Good morning Mr. McClain.” He kept his voice chipper. The mattress of the bed was angled up so Lance could be in a sitting position. It looked like there were some discarded files and a book or two sitting at the end of the bed. The man in question was sitting with his knees drawn to his chest, his blank gaze fixed on something outside.

 

Those blank blue eyes moved to regard Ulaz standing in the doorway. “You can call me Lance.” He spoke so softy Ulaz almost didn’t hear him.

 

“Alright Lance.” Ulaz closed the door behind him and pulled a chair near the bed. “Coran can’t be here until tomorrow, he was at a conference in New York and the earliest flight he could get was for later tonight.” He waited to see if Lance would react to anything he was saying, but the young man didn’t even blink. “I’m a doctor but I also have a degree in psychology. Do you mind if we talk for a bit?”

 

Lance nodded and slowly angled his body so he faced Ulaz a little more.

 

“Do you have any questions before we begin?” Lance responded with the ever so slight shake of his head. “Alright. Now remember you don’t have to answer any of these questions if you don’t want to. We are all just trying to find a way to help you.”

 

“Ok.”

 

Taking a deep breath Ulaz flipped his notebook to a blank page and uncapped his pen. “Can you replay the events of the day you took the pills?”

 

“I went to work. Later I saw Coran. Then I went to the pharmacy to pick up my sleeping pills.” Tears filled Lance’s eyes but he didn’t seem to notice them streaming down his face. “After that I went back to my apartment and cleaned it and wrote letters to my friends and family. Then I…” He became too choked up to move on.

 

“Its fine. You don’t need to go on.” Ulaz tapped his pen against his notepad. “Why did you take the pills?

 

Lance finally grabbed the box of Kleenex at the foot of his bed and wiped his eyes. “Everything was just too much, and I couldn’t make it stop.”

 

“What is ‘everything’?”

 

The young man in the hospital bed sighed deeply as more tears fell from his eyes. “I’ve always struggled with depression, ever since I was a little kid. I was doing better for a long time, but then he…” Lance stopped for a moment and Ulaz noticed one of Lance’s hands involuntarily move to his right wrist, “Keith went missing.”

 

“Now who is Keith?” Ulaz felt guilty already, making this broken man in front of him relive some of his most painful memories.

 

“Keith is my boyfriend.” Ulaz noticed he didn’t switch to referring to Keith in the past tense, “But around this time last year he was just… gone.”

 

“Hm. I do think I remember reading about his case in the papers.”

 

Lance blinked rapidly and blew his nose. “I um, I’ve been looking for him. Because Keith wouldn’t just leave me. I _know_ he wouldn’t.” Lance met Ulaz’s eyes suddenly and the deep dark blue seemed to ask him a million questions, “No one believes me though. Even Keith’s cousin has given up looking for him. They all think he’s dead.” Lance’s voice cracked dangerously on the word “dead”.

 

“So you’ve been without Keith for a year now?” Lance nodded in response. “And he just vanished without a trace?” Another nod, “I see. So the pain of missing him just grew to be too much?”

 

“Yeah.” Lance only whispered now, “It was eating away at me. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. All I can do is miss him. And it hurts so _fucking bad._ I just wanted it all to stop.” Lance gulped down a sob, “I’ve been searching for him since he disappeared, I’ve traveled across the country for fucks sake. But nothing has ever panned out. Everyone wants me to move on… but I can’t. Not until I know.”

 

Ulaz looked at Lance for a long minute, really took the time to look. This man in front of him was driven to the brink because of love. He knew more about Lance’s background than he was letting on, but seeing Lance talk about it now, to be so open and scared, made Ulaz start to look at Lance in a new light. “Can I ask you a personal question?” He asked suddenly.

 

Lance met his eyes wearily. “I guess.”

 

“How do you know Keith is still alive?”

 

Lance bit his bottom lip and looked at the files he left at the end of his bed. “Its just a feeling I have. This wouldn’t be the first time I lost someone that… meant a lot to me. When my dad died I just _knew._ It was like a dark cloud was following me around all day. When Keith vanished I never once got that feeling.”

 

“So you’ve decided to trust your gut?”

 

“Yeah. I have.” Lance was now looking at him with slight anger in his eyes.

 

Ulaz held up a hand in defense of himself. “I’m not trying to contradict you for that Lance. In fact I’m praising you for it.”

 

“Praising me?”

 

“Yes.” He crossed one leg over the other and stared Lance down. “That type of determination, dedication, its hard to come by. Take it from one man in love to the other, that gut feeling is the only one you can trust.”

 

One of Lance’s brows quirked. “So you aren’t going to preach a bunch of bullshit about how I should move and stop wasting my life?”

 

Ulaz thought over his answer carefully. “I don’t think you are wasting your life in your pursuit of Keith, but I do think you are destroying your life.” Lance glared for a moment and looked back down at his right wrist. “Lance.” A note of urgency came into Ulaz’s voice, “You tried to overdose on pills not two days ago. In what way could that possibly be considered _healthy?”_

“I know, I know. I just couldn’t think of another way out.” Tears resumed to trickle down Lance’s face and clung to his chin.

 

Sighing heavily Ulaz stood and moved closer to Lance’s hospital bed. “I know you’ve heard every speech in the book at this point. But I do genuinely want you to get better. I want you to find Keith, and you believe he is still out there, well then, I believe that too.” Ulaz smiled gently when Lance looked up at him in shock, “But you need to do better. Take care of yourself, go to therapy and talk out some issues. Take your medicine the way you are supposed to. Look for Keith, but don’t do anything that could put your life, or health at risk.”

 

“Thank you, for believing me.” Lance rubbed at his right wrist absentmindedly, “I want to get better, I really do.”

 

Ulaz dug around in his pocket for a moment, “I know Coran is your regular psychiatrist, so please listen to what he has to say, and follow his advice. And it sounds ridiculous, but take a walk, watch a movie. Try to one thing a day that makes you smile.” He handed Lance his slim business card, “And if you ever need anything, or just someone different to talk to, feel free to call anytime.”

 

Lance took the card with his left hand, finally exposing what he had been hiding. A simple tattoo in black font, the word _Samurai._ Lance noticed Ulaz staring so he lifted his wrist a little closer to Ulaz’s line of vision. “Keith and I got tattoos together. When I first met him I called him samurai all the time. He called me sharpshooter.” Lance smiled the first genuine smile Ulaz had seen, “Kinda dorky, huh?”

 

Patting Lance’s shoulder Ulaz said, “No. Not at all.”

***

_Present Day_

 

Lance had been tearing through his desk back home, looking for a tiny business card. He honestly couldn’t remember if he had gotten rid of it or not, but right now he was a little desperate. “Damnit.” He said aloud, annoyed at how untidy his desk seemed to have become.

 

Opening one last drawer he lifted a stack of old Altea paperwork out and felt around the corners of the drawer, his hands coming across something that felt small and rectangular. He pulled out what looked to be a business card and with heart in his throat he flipped it over, breathing in a sigh of relief. He hadn’t thought about Ulaz in a long time, but he might the one person Lance could talk to about this.

 

Standing up from his desk chair he plopped down on his couch and picked up the communicator and with shaking hands typed in the number for Marmora Offices. Lance’s right foot began to tense and jump around from nerves. As the phone continued to ring Lance thought that maybe this hadn’t been the best idea after all.

 

He was debating hanging up and just as he was about to he heard the phone on the other end of the call pick up. Lance’s heart immediately flew to his throat. “You’ve reached Marmora Offices. This is Ulaz.”

 

“Um, hi. Ulaz.”

 

“Yes. Who is this?” Lance could hear the curiosity in the older mans voice.

 

“Its Lance.” The line stayed quiet for a long minute. “Did I call at a bad time… or?” Lance thought he felt anxious before he made the call, now his palms were sweating.

 

“Oh no, you’re fine. I’m just surprised to hear from you. It’s been what, two years?”

 

“Give or take,” Lance answered with a light chuckle. “I know it’s been a while, but you said if I ever needed anything…”

 

“Of course, I told you I’d always be a phone call away.” Ulaz’s voice suddenly went dark, “What is it? Did something happen?”

 

“No, no. I’m ok. I just need to get something off my chest, but if I tried to tell any of my friends I’m sure they would think I’m crazy.”

 

“Mhm. I see. Well, do you want to tell me over phone or in person?”

 

Lance weighed his options. “Probably in person, this is something I can’t risk getting out.”

 

He heard Ulaz sigh. “I’m not busy now. Can you come to my office?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Alright Lance. See you soon.” He paused, “And be careful”.

***

Lance pulled in the parking lot of Marmora Offices and studied it closely. It was a building he would drive by on occasion, but it was a little out of the way, the rest of the city was about a ten-minute drive away. _“Come on now McClain, this was your idea. You can’t chicken out now.”_ Shrugging on a coat he turned off the car and stepped out into the light mist of the afternoon.

 

He gripped his communicator tightly in his pocket, hoping that this wouldn’t backfire. He opened the main door to the building and silently stepped inside. The women sitting behind the receptionist desk looked up with a warm smile. “How can I help you today?” Her voice was chipper.

 

“Um, hi. I’m Lance, um Lance McClain. I just spoke to Ulaz on the phone…” Lance was going to further explain when the man himself walked into the lobby.

 

“Lance. Hello. Why don’t we go on back to my office?” Ulaz smiled.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Lance smiled tightly at the receptionist and followed Ulaz down a long hallway. “You’re practice must be pretty successful.” Lance spoke up, just so he didn’t have to listen to his own footsteps echo off the wall.

 

“I would like to think so.” Lance could hear the smile in Ulaz’s voice, “Being the only neurosurgeon in town definitely helps.”

 

Ulaz stopped at the last door in the hallways and gestured for Lance to step inside. Lance shoved his pockets deeper into the jean jacket he was wearing and stepped inside the office, admiring the décor. It was simple, but he guessed it suited Ulaz’s lifestyle. Ulaz closed the door behind him and sat at the chair behind the desk, motioning for Lance to take a seat across from him. “So what brings you into my office today?”

 

Lance took his pockets out the jean jacket and fiddled with the strings on the black hoodie was wearing underneath. He hadn’t worn any of Keith’s clothes out in public for almost two years, but it was black hoodie, he figured he could get away with it. Finally he took his communicator out of the jean jacket pocket and unlocked it. “First off, please don’t think I’m crazy.”

 

“Have I ever assumed you to be?”

 

Lance laughed tightly, “No, I suppose not.” He debated how to go forward with this, “For the past couple months I’ve been talking to someone.”

 

Ulaz felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Ah. Well good for you Lance. And I assure you its ok to feel guilty.”

 

Lance looked at him like he had three heads. Then the missing link clicked in his head. “Oh no, not like that. I haven’t even _thought_ about talking to someone else.”

 

“Oh. I see. So whom have you been talking to?”

 

Swallowing thickly Lance pulled up the message stream he had with Keith. “You’re going to think I’m insane but… I’ve been talking to Keith.”

***

“Why now? Why has Acxa come back?” Thace grit out as he passed back and forth in Shay and Keith’s basement.

 

Keith shrugged and picked at the skin around his thumb. “I’m not sure, I thought for sure she had left the company for good. She moved overseas before Zarkon took me.”

 

“Maybe she was overseas working for Galra Tech,” Shay offered, “We can’t think that is completely out of the realm of possibility.”

 

Thace stopped pacing and met Shay’s eyes. “That is possible, but if she was working overseas for Galra Tech what was she working on? Why did it take almost four years for her to come back?”

 

“Probably because Zarkon didn’t want her to come back unless she was successful.” Keith offered, fear growing in his gut. When he and Ulaz had seen Acxa earlier in the week he hadn’t been able to shake a feeling of deep foreboding. First Haggar had come back, then Lotor had seemingly vanished into thin air, and now Acxa? Galra Tech was up to something, and if Keith had to guess that Zarkon was ready to move into the final phase of his plan.

 

Thace groaned, clearly frustrated. “Well, all we can do now is keep up surveillance and try to catch whatever we can.”

 

“Can’t we send someone in?” Ulaz asked, it was the first thing he had said during this entire meeting. It was making Keith a little nervous.  

 

“Galra Tech has been looking for Thace and Keith for years now, and they know who I am.” Shay said pointedly, “I’m pretty sure they’ve been watching you too Ulaz.”

 

The four fell silent, thinking through all their options. “Well, there’s always Adam.” Keith said suddenly.

 

Thace looked up at him, a smirk on his face. “That’s right. I had forgotten about Adam.”

 

“Is he really worth the risk?” Ulaz asked tightly.

 

Thace looked down at Ulaz and Keith saw his eyes soften. “He is our _only_ option right now.” Ulaz didn’t respond and Keith saw a fleeting look of pain flash across Thace’s face. He turned his attention to Shay. “Can you get in contact with Adam?”

 

Shay was already heading out the basement, “Already on it. As soon as he makes contact I’ll let you know.”

 

Thace sighed and ran a hand through his graying hair. “All right. As soon as we can get Adam sent in we should know more.” He looked over to Keith, “Lay low until then.” Thace started to head for the stairs and noticed that Ulaz wasn’t following him, “Aren’t you coming?”

 

Ulaz shook his head. “I need to speak with Keith for a moment.” He met Thace’s eyes, “I’ll see you later tonight.” Thace watched him for a minute before nodding and leaving the basement. Then Keith was left alone with Ulaz, who still hadn’t even looked at him.

 

He nervously started to pick at his thumb again, “Is something wrong?”

 

The older man finally looked up and met Keith’s eyes, a mix of emotions shining through. “How important is this mission to you?”

 

Keith glared for a moment. “The mission has been my life since you got me away from Galra Tech. Its all I have.”

 

Shaking his head Ulaz laughed bitterly, “So you _haven’t_ tried to contact anyone from your old life since we rescued you, right?”

 

The first thought that entered Keith’s mind in that moment was _“Shit. SHIT, he knows.”_ He watched Ulaz carefully for a long moment, and decided to do something stupid and lie. “No. I haven’t.”

 

“Is that so?” Ulaz asked, he crossed his arms over his chest and tapped a finger against a forearm, “Because Lance came into my office yesterday morning.”

 

Keith felt his eyes open wide. “He did?”

 

“He did in fact. I told you a couple years ago that I was the doctor on call the night he was admitted to the hospital. We had a couple of conversations and I gave him my card and told him to call me if he ever needed to talk.”

 

Keith hadn’t realized he was crying until he felt a tear drip off the end of his nose. Wiping his eyes he felt frustration grow in his gut. He met Ulaz’s eyes with a determined gaze. “What all did he tell you?”

 

Ulaz watched him, seemingly pleased that Keith had given up the charade. “Not much. He did show me a few messages you two had exchanged, he said he even called you once.”

 

“I know its stupid!” Keith felt himself shout, he stalked through the basement and pulled the communicator out of its hiding place and then shoved it in Ulaz’s face, “I know I’ve been jeopardizing the whole _fucking_ mission, but I don’t regret doing it. So don’t even try to make me feel guilty about this. Because I won’t.”

 

Ulaz took the communicator out of Keith’s hand and unlocked it and flipped through a few things. His expression didn’t change. “You’re just lucky that Lance came to me and not Thace.”

 

“Wait. What?”

 

“I’m not happy with you, for doing something so _incredibly_ stupid and selfish.” Ulaz stopped to gather his thoughts, “But I suppose this is only natural. Lance did also say that he got the first message at a time he really needed it.” He finally met Keith’s eyes, “Does Shay know?”

 

Keith nodded, still incredibly confused.

 

“I’m surprised she didn’t come running to Thace the second she found out.”

 

“She wanted to, but I wouldn’t let her.”

 

“So I’m sure she’s been lecturing you nonstop since she found out.” Keith nodded and Ulaz laughed lightly, “Still know that I don’t approve of this, and if Thace ever finds out its your ass on the line, _not_ mine. Got that?”

 

Keith nodded a little desperately, feeling more tears leak from his eyes, “I promise I’ve been careful with it, but I couldn’t sit back and watch Lance dig himself into another hole. If I lost him…” He found that he was unable to go on.

 

Ulaz patted one of Keith’s shoulders. “Trust me, I know. Lance feels the same way. And honestly he could probably help us get to the bottom of this faster. We need more eyes on the outside.” He pushed the communicator back into Keith’s shaking hands. “Don’t get caught. We can’t afford to lose you to Galra Tech again.”

 

Nodding furiously Keith shoved the communicator into his jacket pocket and looked at Ulaz gratefully. “Thank you… now that he knows I’m alive, it’s been hard not to talk to him. Just to let him know that I’m ok.”

 

“I get it Keith, I’ve done stupid things for love too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I'm back, sooner than I thought, with a longer chapter. I think we might be nearing the climax soon my friends. See you soon! 
> 
>  
> 
> (Also on a salty note, watch me do Adam better than the actual fucking show writers)


	15. A Break, At Long Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, have fun with this one
> 
> Quick disclaimer, I didn't proof read this AT ALL before publishing it so please forgive me if there are a ton of mistakes 
> 
> Happy reading!

Adam liked to consider himself a rather rational man. He paid his rent on time, always remembered to feed and walk his dog. (Usually) kept up on his grocery shopping. Of course his past didn’t really support that idea, but the past after all, was in the past.  

 

So imagine his dismay when he arrived home from walking his dog to find an encrypted email in his inbox.

 

He sighed heavily and adjusted his glasses. Bending down he stroked his chocolate lab Macey on her head and unclipped her leash and watched as she bounded into another room to find a toy to play with. Hanging the leash in its proper place he went to the kitchen to pour a class of whiskey straight up, he wouldn’t be able to handle that email any other way.

 

Macey came charging back into the living room, favorite toy clamped between her teeth. Adam felt a smile cross his face as he bent over to attempt to wrestle the toy away from her. “Hey, that’s a good girl, who’s a good girl?” He pestered his dog until she cocked her head to one side and wagged her tail furiously. “You’re ridiculous.” He chided, and then got up to face his laptop.

 

Clicking open the email he found that it wasn’t as deeply encrypted as he had initially thought, he just had to break past a few fire walls and then line a password hidden in lines of code. He was rusty though; he hadn’t done something like this in a couple of years.

 

About twenty minutes later he finally broke through the last firewall and had full access to the email and its contents. Groaning he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. The email was from Shay, a name he thought he wouldn’t have to see again.

 

Opening his eyes he read the brief message, debating what to do. Shay’s message was rather short and to the point; _We need your help. Meet at the usual place at 10 tomorrow night. This is important._

His fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long minute, everything in him screaming not to answer. He thought he left that life behind him a couple years ago; it almost got him killed after all. But a small part, granted a very _small_ part of his brain told him to at least send a response, even if it was just to say no. After another minute or two of inner debate he found himself typing out a short message; _Fine. But don’t think I’m going to help you._

 

Following the same encryption pattern Shay had he sent off the message before he could start to regret it. The whiskey was suddenly calling his name and he took a long swig, cringing a little as it burned its way down his throat. Macey dropped her toy and shoved her head onto his lap, sensing he needed a little love. “Hey, hey girl. It’s alright. Everything is going to be just fine.” He just hoped to god he wasn’t kidding himself.

***

“Why is it whenever you call me out on some fools errand its always the middle of fucking winter?” Adam deadpanned, staring down a girl just a few years younger than him.

 

Shay huffed, a pale cloud of condensation forming and drifting off in the wind. “Next time remind me to ask the weather to cater to your needs.”

 

Adam chose to ignore that remark. “What do you want from me Shay? I told you years ago that I was done with all of this.”

 

“You’re a professional in this industry.”

 

A glare creased Adam’s forehead. “This isn’t an industry. This is basically the black market. Its _illegal.”_

 

“Didn’t stop you a couple of years ago.”

 

A strong gust of wind blew through the back alley Adam and Shay were standing in. It bit through Adam’s winter jacket and prickled at his skin. It felt like a warning. “I left it all behind for a reason.”

 

Shay sighed and drew her coat closer to her body. “We are all well aware of that, but also trust me when I say that we wouldn’t be asking if we weren’t desperate.” She refused to meet his eyes, instead her gaze fixed on the worn strings of her boots.

 

“Did Ulaz and Thace put you up to this?” Shay only nodded. “I thought once you got the golden boy on board Galra Tech would crumble quickly.”

 

“Well, we all thought that.” Her nervous gaze shifted to one filled with anger and doubt. “It seems like we wasted a lot of resources to get Keith back on the outside. But all he can think about is his stupid boyfriend.”

 

Ah, the boyfriend issue. Adam had still been involved with Thace’s crusade when they began to discuss finding Keith and bringing him on board. It surprised Adam that the one most excited about Keith was Ulaz. Ulaz rarely got excited about anything, and for some reason it made Adam incredibly nervous. He already thought the whole crusade was a stupid waste of time, but the two older men would hear nothing about it when it came to cancelling the project.

 

The person that got Ulaz so focused on Keith was some guy named Lance McClain, the only other tidbits of information Adam knew about the guy was that he worked at Altea. Pretty impressive from where he was standing, a college dropout that made a small fortune for himself in the illegal hacking business. He also thought he did more than Altea, they had been standstill on the same project since the company got started.

 

McClain seemed a little manic to Adam, he had seen people go to grand lengths to find missing family members or spouses, but never to the length that McClain had. He remembers reading the news and seeing updates about this kid flying across the world to follow up on leads. But he never did find Kogane. Galra Tech had him hidden away to work their evil purposes. Well until Ulaz decided their operation couldn’t move forward without Kogane.

 

Adam only met Keith once, and it was shortly after they had recused him from Zarkon’s clutches. The man Adam had met was quiet, almost to an excess, and drawn in on himself. His eyes, those violet eyes, spoke volumes about what he had been through. Keith had only said about three words throughout that entire meeting, and Adam had to admit the guy spooked him a little. Apparently the longer he was free he began to open up a little bit, but Adam hadn’t stuck around to see it.

 

“I’m surprised that he hasn’t just gone back to the poor sap.” Adam only realized he had said that out loud when Shay jerked her head up to meet his eyes.

 

“The fucking idiot has been in contact with McClain. He somehow got his hands on a communicator. They even _spoke_ to each other at one point.” Shay shuddered, not from the cold but from the audacity of Keith contacting his loved one. It made Adam a little sad, sad to see that over the years Shay hadn’t changed.

 

She had always been closed in and tight lipped and little of consequence mattered to her. She lost her family to Galra Tech. Now she refuses to let anyone in, emotionally she is all drained up. So she can’t understand Keith or his motivation to get back to the people he loves. “Is that so wrong?” Adam found himself asking.

 

“Do you know how easy it is to track a communicator? He could collapse all the work we’ve put into this organization!”

 

“True.” Adam rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “But it keeps him motivated, right?”

 

“Well… sure?”

 

Adjusting his glasses he felt a small laugh leave his mouth. “And that, old friend is what you lack.”

 

“Motivation?” She scoffed, “I’m more motivated than Keith could ever be.”

 

“I know you are motivated, that’s not what I meant. I meant you are lacking love.” Shay stared at him like he had three heads.

 

“How is that even relativant?”

 

“Because Keith has a life to get back to once this whole thing is over. That is what keeps him going. You have made your whole life into this plan. What do you have left after this?”

 

Shay shifted her weight on her feet and didn’t answer. “Hm. Thought so. Ulaz still has his practice, and knowing what I do about that man is that is will bring Thace back into society and those two will live a long an prosperous life together. Keith will go back to Lance, to Altea. To his family. But you, my dear, don’t have that.” He stared her down, but again she refused to answer. “Why do you think I left? I was almost killed over a deal gone wrong, and it wasn’t even _my_ fault.” He looked down the street as another gust of wind tore through the alley, “I always wanted more out of life. And I’m getting that now.”

 

“Are you suggesting that I just give up?”

 

“On the contrary. I’m telling you to find something to live for.”

***

Shay stalked back into the basement/apartment/house, (whatever you want to call it) clearly angry about something. Keith looked up from some maps and paperwork Ulaz wanted him to look at and cringed. “Do I even want to know?”

 

“Adam is a dick.” She spat, collapsing on the floor. “But he is going to help us.”

 

Keith quirked a brow, “That’s a good thing, right?” She grunted in response, “Why are you pissed then?”

 

“He thinks that he like, entitled enough to tell me how to live my life.”

 

Keith sighed inwardly. No one got to talk to Shay about her future, including Shay herself. He turned his attention back down to the map in front of him, “Just ignore him. You do that to me all the time. Can’t be that hard right?”

 

His companion stayed silent so he didn’t say anymore. Shay spent most of her days either royally pissed off or spitting angry. He didn’t want to push her buttons anymore than this Adam character already had.

 

He only met Adam once, and it was shortly after Thace and Ulaz had rescued him so he wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around. All he remembered about the guy was how tall he was, and how piercing those gray-green eyes were. He seemed to look through and into Keith at the same time; it was daunting to say the least. Adam left the operation shortly after that and Keith envied him for that. He didn’t have the luxury of just walking away.

 

A part of Keith wanted to run and find Adam and shake him. He got away, he _left._ So why in gods name was he coming back now? As far as Keith was concerned they were buried deeper than they had ever been before, and bringing back their skilled hacker probably won’t make much of a difference. Of course Lance was also on the outside, but he had to help on the down low. If Thace found out about the communication between Keith and Lance they would send him away again until they tore down Galra Tech on their own.

 

“So what are you going to have Adam do?” Keith asked, genuinely curious. Keith had a decent amount of hacking skills, part of unlocking all the lions over at Altea centered on hacking their code, or as Allura liked to refer to it, the lions personalities. So why are Thace and Ulaz looking for outside source when he is sitting right here? Perfectly bored. Exceptionally anxious.

 

“Not sure yet. Thace just wanted me to get him back on board.” Shay was still crumpled on the ground, knees drawn to her chest. She seemed to fade into the wall.

 

Keith glared for a moment and picked at his fingerless gloves. “What did Adam say to you?”

 

“What? Oh, nothing.”

 

Keith felt taken aback, in the time he has known Shay he had never seen her back down from defending herself. “Then it’s obviously something. You’re upset.”

 

“We’re not going to talk about this Kogane.”

 

“See? You’ve even gone to using my last name. You’re upset. You can talk to me.”

 

She lifted blank eyes up to Keith’s. “We aren’t friends Kogane. We don’t _talk.”_

 

Sighing Keith turned his eyes back to the map in front of him, resting his elbows on his knees. “We don’t have to be friends to talk you know.”

 

Shay didn’t respond so Keith didn’t try to push her any more than he already had. She would make him suffer for it for weeks to come. As he studied the map he noticed a location that peeked his interest. Shuffling some papers around the table he found the one he was looking for. He was about to motion Shay over when she spoke up, quietly. “Why do you love McClain?”

 

His head whipped around and he stared at her with wide eyes. “What?”

 

A blush crawled up Shay’s neck. “Why do you love McClain? There must be some reasons right?”

 

Swallowing past the lump in his throat Keith willed his heart to calm down. “Well, he has always supported me.” Shay looked up at him, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “He’s my best friend. We know everything about each other. We were friends a long time before we ever admitted our feelings for each other.”

 

“So that’s why? Because you were friends with him?”

 

“Not exactly.” Keith ran a hand through his hair and wrapped his fist in it. “I was a good for nothing punk kid that got into the Garrison on recommendations. Lance had to fight tooth and nail to get into that school. He was going to follow his dreams if he had to grab them and choke them. I had never seen anyone so motivated before. He oozed passion.” He took a deep breath as images of a younger Lance flashed through his mind. “Even when the Garrison tried to tear him down he just fought back harder. He inspired _me_ to be better, to do better. Without him I don’t know what my life would’ve been.”

 

“You wouldn’t have been kidnapped by Galra Tech that’s for sure.” Shay replied bitterly from the floor.

 

Keith felt a surprised laugh fall from his mouth. “Well yeah. But I wouldn’t have been working at Altea either. I wouldn’t have met Hunk or Pidge or Allura. I’d be covered in tattoos and have a smoking problem and fly as dangerously as possible to make myself _feel_ something.”

 

“You have tattoos though.” He was going to respond but she stopped him, “And you smoke.”

 

He felt himself laugh again. “But I have a purpose. Or I did before shit hit the fan. _Lance_ gave me that. Don’t you see?”

 

Shay’s eyes flitted down to the floor. “I still don’t get it.”

 

Keith sighed and let his hair fall into his face again. “Maybe you don’t need to. But without him I don’t really have a purpose. I still have Shiro and Matt and everyone else, but Lance gives my life meaning in a way I didn’t think was possible.”

 

Shay didn’t respond and Keith felt him shoulders slump. He thought maybe he had been getting to her just now. But it looked like she was shutting down again.

 

Turning back to the table he forgot what had gotten him all worked up before Shay dropped her bombshell. He picked up the piece of paper he had left sitting on top of the map and squinted at him, trying to find what had peaked his interest. When he found it again his eyes widened and he motioned at Shay to come over. “You have to see this.” He said, feeling a little desperate.

 

“What did you find?”

 

“So we’ve been tracking’s movements for a couple weeks now right?”

 

“Right.”

 

“Well Thace got ahold of her cell phone records the other day and I’ve been tracking her movements from about a month ago.” Keith jabbed a finger onto a spot on the map and flapped Acxa’s cell phone records back and forth. “Look where she has been making frequent stops.” Shay peered down at the map and Keith saw her eyes go wide. Whatever had been bothering her before seemed to leave her mind instantly. “We gotta call Thace and Ulaz.”

***

_The Garrison_

It was a sleepy October morning, a gentle rain falling. It pattered against the window and made small trails down the glass. Lance sighed heavily, missing a different kind of water.

 

They were onto their third year at the Garrison already, and Lance had spent his four-week break back home, with Keith. It was even harder to leave this time; his mom was getting older, though she refused to admit it. Lance’s youngest brother finally graduated high school and was off to college in New York. His mother had an empty nest at long last. He also knew she disliked it more than she let on. After his dad died Nora couldn’t just disappear into the woodwork, she still had three kids at home and three more out in the world that still depended on her emotional support. She hadn’t truly been alone since his dad passed, and now Lance was worried. He got more texts and calls from her now days. They would only talk for a couple minutes but Lance could tell his mother was restless.

 

She wanted him to come home for the shorter break they got during the holidays, but Lance had finally talked Keith into going home with him. He was at a loss, his heart pulling him in two different directions. Hunk was going home with Pidge for the holiday break, and much as Lance adored his mother a week sitting at home during the off-season without Hunk or Keith or Pidge didn’t seem that appealing. Plus Keith had been adamant about not going home for some reason, and Lance couldn’t believe when Keith finally agreed to spend the break at his aunt and uncle’s place.

 

The rain picked up a bit, and distant thunder rolled across the sky. Lance had been sitting at his desk for a while now. He couldn’t get his brain to focus on the studying he needed to do. A knock sounded on the door to he and Hunk’s room. Wearily he got up from his desk and opened the door, mood instantly rising when he saw Keith.

 

Keith held up two to go coffee cups. “Need a pick me up?” He asked, eyes shining.

 

“You’re a life saver.” Lance took his cup gratefully, taking a swig. It burned his tongue a little, but the caffeine was worth it. Lance shut the door behind Keith and crawled up onto his bed, Keith ditching his shoes and then doing the same. Lance noticed the label on the coffee cup for the first time and he fought to keep a grin from spreading across his face. Keith saw right through him though. Lance relented and said, “Did you really drive twenty minutes there and back to get me this coffee?”

 

Keith blushed furiously and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, ever since we went to that coffee shop last year its all you ever talk about…” He cast his eyes down to the floor, “And you texted earlier saying you were really worn out so.” He shrugged and met Lance’s eyes with a hesitant smile.

 

Lance couldn’t handle how beautiful he looked so he shoved Keith’s shoulder playfully. “Thanks samurai. I really appreciate it.”

 

Their second year at the Garrison seemed to fly by, though Keith missed Shiro more than he thought he would. He and Matt were only at the next town over doing their internships for Altea. But they were all so busy it was hard to find a time for everyone to get together. Keith was grateful for Lance’s friendship. He realized rather quickly after Shiro and Matt graduated that he didn’t really have other friends outside Lance, Hunk and Pidge. Being at the Garrison was already tough enough, being here alone would have been unbearable.

 

He and Lance had grown closer than ever during their second year, the only times they were ever really apart was when they had different classes or were sleeping. Though Keith and Lance had taken up passing out in the others room, but their relationship was strictly platonic. (Much to Keith’s annoyance). Though everyone else he encountered thought otherwise. But Keith spends almost all of his waking hours with Lance. He treats Keith the same way he treats Hunk and Pidge. He knew his feelings were one-sided, but knowing that didn’t stop the ache.

 

Rolo still liked to make Keith’s life a living hell. He seemed to give up on his pursuit of Lance after the incident sophomore year. It was almost like he was embarrassed to be around Lance. Keith recalls one night when Rolo came home drunk enough to open up a little to Keith. “You know,” Rolo had slurred, “I just realized I’m never gunna be enough for Lance, ya know?” He collapsed facedown on his bed; “You can have him for all I care”. Rolo didn’t recall ever saying that though, and said he was sure Keith imagined him saying that.

 

But even if Lance didn’t fell anything toward Keith romantically, they at least had their friendship. And there was no way in hell Keith was going to give that up.

 

Lance’s light laughter brought him back to the present. “You looked a million miles away Mullet.”

 

Keith hummed and took a sip of his coffee. “Just thinking.”

 

“”Bout what?” Lance questioned, poking Keith with one of his feet.

 

Keith slapped Lance’s foot away, laughing lightly. “Just us. The Garrison. What the future holds. Shit like that.”

 

“Getting quite philosophical today aren’t we?”

 

“I guess. There’s just a lot to think about ya know? Like,” Keith picked at his sock, “Where are we gunna be in two years?”

 

Lance sighed and took a long drag from his coffee. “I don’t know I guess. I spent so long trying to get into this fucking place that I didn’t really think about what happens after.” The two boys stayed quiet for a bit, listening to the rain. “But I mean, we are going to graduate from one of the most advanced schools in the _world._ We should have job offers pouring out of our ears.”

 

Keith felt his heart clench. That’s what he was worried about. He and Lance could get jobs in different parts of the world. Lance was his rock, a constant in his life. What was he supposed to do without him? “Hey.” Lance poked him again, shuffling closer. “No matter what happens after we graduate we’re gunna stay friends, ok?”

 

“How can you be sure?” Keith sounded more desperate than he wanted to. “We could move across the world from each other. Sure, we could keep up contact for a while, but what happens when we both get too busy? When we don’t have time anymore?”

 

Lance’s eyes filled with emotion. “Well, I won’t ever give up on you. We’re together constantly. We know each other too well to let something like distance get in the way of that.” Keith found he couldn’t meet Lance’s eyes anymore. Lance sighed and put his hand on Keith’s cheek, so gently. “Come on Keith, you’re my _best_ friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 

“You have Hunk.” He whispered, feeling pathetic.

 

“Keith.” He heard Lance set his coffee down and then grab Keith’s from his hand. “Will you look at me please?” Lance waited until they were eye to eye. “Yeah, I have Hunk. But he’s like a brother to me, that’s different than what we got going on. Hunk and I couldn’t get rid of each other if we tried.” Keith chuckled a little at that. “Here,” Lance offered Keith his right pinky, “Pinky promise.”

 

“What, are we like 8?” Keith asked, still feeling that sick creep of doubt in the back of his throat. Lance only quirked a brow and waited until Keith wrapped his pinky around his.

 

“I promise, no matter what, I am _never_ going to stop being your friend. Like, ever. I can’t imagine life without you in it. Alright, samurai?”

 

Keith met Lance’s eyes and fought back a powerful wave of emotion. How badly he wanted to slam his face into Lance’s, to kiss him until his mouth went numb. He blinked and realized Lance was waiting for his reply. His voice shaking he said, “I promise, that no matter what, we’re always going to be friends. Because, because…” His voice trailed off but Lance waited, always so goddamn patient. “Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He said it before he could chicken out.

 

Lance stared at him for a long moment and Keith suddenly regretted this whole conversation. He was sure he just crossed a line he couldn’t come back from. Just as he was about to start spewing an apology, Lance pulled him into a tight hug, his face buried in Keith’s neck. Slowly Keith wrapped his arms around Lance’s back and held him back just as tight. “You’re such a fucking softy Mullet.” Lance said tearfully.

***

_The Garrison_

“Hi momma.” Lance answered a phone call a couple weeks later. The four-week break was fast approaching and he kept finding reasons to put off trying to talk to his mom or Keith. He knew he needed to go home to be with his mom but everything else in him ached to be with Keith. Ever since their conversation and pinky promise a couple weeks back just spending a couple hours away from Keith was almost agonizing. He knew he was in _way_ too deep when it came to Keith, but he couldn’t really help himself. They both needed each other.

 

But there were thoughts that would randomly pop into Lance’s head, usually when he and Keith were alone. He would make Keith laugh and think, “ _Someone else is going to make him laugh.”_

 

_“Someone else is going to get to kiss him.”_

_“You don’t get to love him, someone else does.”_

Thinking about it was painful so Lance tried to avoid it. But damnit, he’s in love with Keith. Has been since sophomore fucking year. And how badly he wanted to tell him. But that could ruin everything. He didn’t want to lose Keith, period. It would eat him up from the inside out.

 

So maybe it was better if he went home for break and got used to being away from him. Keith’s future boyfriend isn’t going to let him come over because he wants to cuddle with Keith. “How are you sweetheart?” His mother asked. Was it just him or did she sound more tired than usual.

 

“Good. Finishing up some homework. Then I’m going to spend a couple hours in the simulator. I have a huge flying exam next week.”

 

“Sounds like a lot of hard work.”

 

“Yeah it is.” Lance rubbed one of his eyes, “Things always get really crazy right before breaks.” He mentally kicked himself for brining up the topic of break.

 

His mother laughed, “At least you get to come home and relax for a couple of weeks.” She clicked her tongue, and to think you’ll be starting your last year at the Garrison soon.”

 

“Yeah, it is pretty crazy.”

 

“Well, I’m looking forward to getting some good meals in you. You’ve been looking too skinny in all those pictures you post.”

 

Lance sucked in a breath and nodded, then realized she couldn’t see him nod. “Yeah.”

 

His mother smelled his bullshit instantly. “What’s the matter sweetheart?”

 

Lance put his pencil down and clenched his fist. “Its just that… well Keith offered for me to stay with his aunt and uncle during break.”

 

Nora stayed quiet for a minute. “Is that all?” She asked plainly.

 

“Um, yes?” Lance blinked in confusion.

 

“You could’ve just said so love.” Then she laughed brightly.

 

“But you were so excited about me coming home…”

 

“Lance. Dear.” She went into lecture mode and Lance braced himself. “You have come home for every other break so far. And Keith has come with you. He hasn’t been home in almost two years right?”

 

“Right.”

 

“So go home with Keith. He can finally teach you how to ski.”

 

Lance swallowed and blinked, surprised to feel tears in his eyes. “I don’t want you to be alone Momma.”

 

“Oh honey, you know I’m going to be fine. You’re brother and sister are coming home from college in just a couple weeks soon. I won’t be by myself.” Lance didn’t respond and he heard his mother sigh, “Honey, I don’t want your old mother to hold you back from going out and experiencing the world. I miss you father more than I can explain, but we both know he would tell you the exact same thing.”

 

Lance was fully crying now, wiping his tears away with the hem of his hoodie. “Are you sure?”

 

“Positive. All I ever wanted for all of my children was that they would be happy. And Keith makes you happy, doesn’t he?”

 

“Yeah, he does.” Lance sniffled and then it dawned on him that his mother was insinuating a different type of relationship. “Wait, mom. It’s not like that.”

 

Nora laughed and said, “Honey, I may be getting old but I know you two are inseparable. And they way he looks at you!”

 

“I um, I think my feelings are pretty one-sided mom.”

 

“Really? Because I find that hard to believe.”

 

Lance realized he was crying again. “But what if I tell him and he doesn’t feel the same way? That could ruin everything. I can’t lose Keith, I just can’t.”

 

His mother stayed quiet, probably trying to think of a solution for her third son. “Sometimes you have to take that risk. Because I know my son. And I know you would be miserable watching him with someone else.”

 

Lance laughed bitterly, “Yeah, I would be. But I’m too scared to bring it up. And every time I think I’ve got the courage up he’ll say something that makes it _extremely_ clear that he only wants to be friends.”

 

“Well, I still find it hard to believe, and of course the choice is up to you sweetheart. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell him once the time is right.” She sighed again, “But go home with him. Spend more time one on one with him. He’d be stupid to let a catch like you get away.”

 

“Wow, thanks mom.” But he was smiling now. “When he rejects me I’ll be sure to let him know what he will be missing.”

 

Nora only said, “Men are so blind.”

***

_Somewhere in the Mountains_

“Holy _shit.”_ Lance breathed, taking in the view from the windows of Keith’s home. “You can see for _miles!”_ His excited eyes turned to Keith’s and he blushed, rubbing at the back of his neck.

 

“I guess I got used to it after living here for so long.”

 

“You’re fucking nuts Kogane. Because this is incredible.” Lance’s eyes focused on the view again so Keith watched him, not bothering to hide his smile. Lance was adorable when he got excited like this. Apparently it was also his seeing mountains somewhere other than from a plane window.

 

“I could uh, give you the tour I guess.” Keith rubbed at the back of his neck again. His aunt and uncle wouldn’t home for almost a week; they were away on some business conference. And of course Shiro didn’t live at home anymore, so it was just going to be Lance and Keith. Alone. In his house. For a week.

 

He wasn’t nervous about being home really, he was nervous about what he might do knowing he and Lance are _truly_ alone for the first time. And it was already proving extremely difficult not to launch himself on Lance and kiss that stupid, _adorable_ smiling mouth. Lance tore his eyes from the window and graced Keith with a 1,000 watt smile. “Sure, I’m down.”

 

“Well, this is the living room,” Keith cringed at how awkward he was being, “obviously. Um, the kitchen is through there. We don’t use it much, my aunt and uncle eat out a lot.” They moved into the second room on the main floor of the house. It was all stainless steel, cold and unfeeling. Some of the only fond memories Keith has of this kitchen are from high school. Back when he and Shiro would sneak down here at three in the morning to make macaroni and cheese.

 

Lance walked into the space and ran his hand along the massive countertop. He sent a sarcastic look over his shoulder, “Fancy.”

 

Keith snorted and walked out of the kitchen but ignored the door to his right. “That’s where my aunt and uncle sleep, they don’t really like having people in there.”

 

Lance rapped the door as they walked back, “Hell, there is half a house over there!”

 

“Yeah, they wanted a huge master suite apparently.” He found that he didn’t really have much else to say on that front. He loved his aunt and uncle, he really did, but they never did seem like parents to him. Right after his parents first died he found himself crying in his huge room in a strange house, missing the tiny two-bedroom house he had lived in for the first couple years of his life. Shiro did his best to make sure Keith felt at home here, but it never truly felt that way. “We can go upstairs now, that’s where Shiro and I’s rooms are.”

 

The two boys climbed up the spiral glass staircase and Lance found himself gazing back out at the view. The second floor of the house was smaller than the main floor, but still massive compared to most houses. In fact the entire second floor at his aunt and uncles house was bigger than his childhood home. Keith pushed open a door and flipped on a light switch. “Shiro’s old room.” He said, moving aside so Lance could stick his head inside.

 

Everything was neat and orderly, much like Shiro himself. Shiro had been away from home long enough that some old boxes and furniture had made their way into the room, but it still looked like the room Keith remembers from his teen years. “Seems Shiro enough to me.” Lance quipped, winking at Keith.

 

Before Lance could see his blush he closed the door and walked a bit further down the hallway and paused at his bedroom door. He hadn’t been home in almost two years; he’s either been at the Garrison or on break with Lance’s family. It was a weird sensation to be standing in front of this door. “Afraid I’m going to find out about some dorky obsession of yours?” Lance’s voice sounded over his shoulder.

 

“Oh,” Keith whipped around, embarrassed. “No, um… I guess its weird. I haven’t really lived in this house for years.” He dropped his eyes to the floor, “But then again it never really felt like home in the first place.”

 

He felt Lance take his hand and squeeze it lightly. “You’re all good, Mullet.”

 

Keith sighed and pushed open his bedroom door and flicked on a light and walked inside, Lance right behind him. (Because they were holding fucking hands). He turned to find Lance grinning broadly. “What?” He asked wearily, though he couldn’t stop the grin that flitted across his face.

 

“Oh nothing,” Lance responded, “Its pretty much exactly what I was expecting it to be.” He started to laugh and let go of Keith’s hand, walking around the space.

 

One wall was basically windows; he had a wicked view of the mountains beyond. His bed sat in the center of the wall opposite the window, black shelves surrounding it. He had band posters covering one wall to the left of his bed, the other wall his aunt insisted she decorate, so there were random car and motorcycle parts painted a matte black hung on the wall in some weird mural. Lance was looking through his massive CD and vinyl collection, a look of amusement on his face. “I can’t believe you collect _CD’s.”_ Lance said in disbelief.

 

Keith felt a blush crawl up his neck; this must be at least the tenth time he has blushed in the twenty minutes they’ve been here. “I know its super lame.”

 

Lance waved a hand in his direction. “Nah dude, this is wicked cool. I mean look at all of them! You are sitting on a small fortune you know.”

 

Lance sat on his bed so Keith walked over and joined him, staring at the collection he grew over the years. “A lot of the CD’s were my dads. The vinyl came from my grandpa. When I was like 6 or something my dad took me into his bedroom and showed me all the boxes in his closet. He said it was kind of a tradition for fathers to pass those things down to their sons. After he died I guess I got a little anal about the whole thing. I saved up for a long time for a lot of these.” He stopped talking, realizing he was heading into the danger zone. He felt Lance slowly wind their fingers back together. “Sorry, that was a lot.”

 

He felt Lance bump their shoulders together. “Keith I’ve told you story after story about my dad. As long as you are comfortable about talking about it I’d love to hear more stories about your mom and dad.”

 

Looking up he met Lance’s eyes sheepishly. “I guess I’ve gone so long without talking about them it almost feels wrong when I do.”

 

“Yeah, I felt the same way about my dad after he died. But talking about them helps keep their memory alive, you know?”

 

Keith looked back up at his vast collection and nodded. “Yeah, I guess it does.” A moment of silence passed.

 

“So what’s your favorite CD or vinyl from this collection?”

 

Keith paused and then got up, walking back and forth along the shelves surrounding his bed. He ran his hand over the glossy plastic covers of the CD’s, the hard cardboard covers of the records. He finally made his way to the end of the shelving unit and pulled out a dusty vinyl. He blew some of the dust away from the cover and walked back over to his bed and handed Lance the record. “The Collier. Hm, I’ve never heard of them.”

 

“They’re pretty solid. The band is long gone now, but my dad said they were popular when he was little. That was the first record he ever bought.”

 

Lance turned over the record and read the pack of the packaging, reading through song names and humming when a title intrigued him. “We should listen to a bunch of these later. Seems like its been years since I sat down and just listened to music.”

 

“Yeah same here.” Keith glanced out the window and noted the setting sun. “Did you still wanna go out on a quick hike? I think we got about an hour before the sun sets.”

 

“Oh _hell_ yeah we’re going hiking.” In his excitement Lance bounced out of the room, leaving Keith smiling after him. Before following Lance downstairs he picked up the record his dad had played almost everyday when he was little. Placing a light kiss on his dads signature in the corner he put it back on the shelf, wishing more than anything that his parents could’ve met Lance.

***

A couple of hours later, after a hike, food and showers, Keith and Lance were back in Keith’s room. They were lounging on the floor, listening to old records. Keith was on his back, staring up at his ceiling, tapping his foot along to the beat of a song.

 

Lance had gotten up and was moving slowly through the room picking out other records to listen to. Keith closed his eyes and paid attention to the music, trying to banish thoughts of kissing Lance from his mind. It was going ok, until he heard Lance exclaim form his closet. “You have a guitar? Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

He sat up just as Lance bounded out of his closet, guitar case in hand. “Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t played it in years.”

 

“Do you mind?” Lance asked and when Keith nodded he carefully opened the case up, pulling out Keith’s black guitar. “Black? Really?” He giggled.

 

“I thought it was cool. And I was like, 11.” But he laughed along with Lance. He was a little surprised when Lance sat on his bed and started to tune it. “Wait, you play?”

 

Lance nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve played, but my dad taught me and my older brothers years ago.” He strummed through some chords and continued to adjust the strings until the forgotten guitar was in tune. He looked up at Keith and lifted a brow, “Any requests samurai?”

 

Keith found himself staring at Lance, admiring how fucking gorgeous he looked with a guitar. Then he realized he had been asked a question. “Oh, um… no, not really.” He was positive as soon as Lance started to play he would lose his mind. It didn’t really matter what he played.

 

Lance strummed some simple chords again, thinking intently. “Oh!” He declared brightly, “My dad used to play this for my mom all the time.” Keith got up from the floor and sat next to Lance on the bed, staring at his hands because he was too scared to watch his face. “I’m a little rusty, so don’t judge me too harshly.” He smiled, looking a little scared, then focused back on his fingers.

 

Keith wasn’t prepared for the [melody](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL0zHjHigI0) Lance started to play, his fingers tripped over the strings so fast it was hard to keep up. Then he started to sing. And Keith melted. Though Lance had claimed to be rusty his playing was impeccable, and his voice was almost more than Keith could take. It wasn’t perfect, it had a slight scratch to it, and just listening to Lance sing made Keith’s cheek flame.

 

Luckily for Keith Lance kept his eyes mostly closed. He seemed a little nervous when he first started, but now that was getting into the song he started to move along with the beat in his head, and soon he was singing as passionately as he could.

 

_Hold me closer than your fantasy_

_I can try to be the one you love and need_

_I’m feeling sort of like a burden_

_I feel it in my heart_

_Are you letting go of me now?_

_I read the words upon your face, now_

_Saving my last breath for you_

_Broken hearts molded to proof_

The song ended with a flourish of quickly played chords on the guitar and Lance let out a deep breath and let his fingers relax. He hadn’t noticed the effect the song had on Keith. He opened his eyes and looked at the guitar for a second before he laughed, “I haven’t played that song in years, I can’t believe I remembered the whole thing.” He glanced up at Keith and was about to say something when he noticed the look on Keith’s face. His breath caught in his throat as he gazed into Keith’s eyes. “I, um… I…” He let his voice trail away and he gripped the guitar a little tighter in his hands in an attempt not to jump Keith right then and there. “Keith?” He asked hesitantly.

 

Keith just cocked his head to one side and smiled, “Play something else?”

 

“Oh, um. Sure.” Lance looked down at his shaking fingers and desperately tried to conjure up another song to play. But Keith was sitting _right there_ and Lance had never seen a look like that on his face. But he couldn’t kiss _Keith._ God, what was he thinking? Apparently his fingers moved faster than his brain because he started to play another [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7DvSEM6_ZY) he hadn’t thought about in years.

 

_Watch as your name comes up_

_Watch as I try to resist_  

_Who do I miss?_

_Watch as I’m breaking down_

_Watch as my hands turn to fear_

_Who do I miss?_

_I’m not easy to love_

_But please just try_

Lance finished the second song and his hands started to shake even harder than before. He was scared to look up at Keith, scared of what he would do. “ _You told yourself that this_ can’t _happen,”_ he thought desperately, _“Keith doesn’t want that from you, Keith doesn’t, he doesn’t…”_

 

“Lance.” Keith said, his voice a whisper.

 

Swallowing his heart he slowly looked up, fighting not to do something stupid, or burst into tears. He met Keith’s eyes; saw his soft smile, some unreadable emotion caught in his eyes. He gripped the guitar in his hands. He couldn’t find anything to say, because he was sure he would confess, right then and there. Keith slowly reached out and grabbed the guitar and carefully pried it out of Lance’s hands. Setting it gently on the floor Keith moved in even closer to Lance, causing him to inhale sharply. “Keith…” Lance whispered helplessly.

 

They stared each other down for what seemed like an eternity. Then, seemingly at the same time, they both pushed forward and met in the middle.

 

Keith couldn’t process what was happening. Of course he was in love with Lance, of course he was. But this was the first time he had allowed himself to admit it. Loving Lance was a forbidden fruit, a thought he only allowed to come to fruition in his mind. It was terrifying to let that thought ring clearly through his mind, _“I love Lance. I am so fucking in love with Lance. Lance, I’m in love with you.”_ It felt like a thousand pound weight had come off his chest. God, how long had he been waiting to admit these feelings? He didn’t even want to think about it; in fact he wouldn’t allow it. But there he was, staring at Lance as he played his guitar and sang songs from his heart and he just felt so incredibly _daft._ How much time had he wasted? So without another thought he moved the guitar and kissed Lance.

 

_He was kissing Lance._

_He was_ kissing _Lance._ And Lance was kissing him back.

 

Lance couldn’t take it anymore. He had been in love with this idiot for so long now, it hurt more to ignore it than to acknowledge it. And something about the look on Keith’s face, it gave Lance hope. It was only natural that he should push forward until their foreheads touched, until their noses grazed, until their lips touched. _“Fucking finally…”_ Lance sighed, and then it suddenly occurred to him that what he just did could ruin everything.

 

He pulled away, blinking rapidly, already trying to come up with an excuse for why he just kissed his best friend. He got caught up in the moment; he thought Keith wanted more than he was actually letting on. Then they could laugh it off and move on and go back to the way things always were. He wanted things to be safe.

 

Keith slowly opened his eyes, looking directly back into Lance’s. He looked irritated and Lance felt his heart stop. _“Fuck, fuck. He’s pissed. God Lance, why do you always have to ruin_ everything?” His mind was setting off at least six different alarms and he felt choked by the tears working their way up his throat. But then Keith said something that flipped Lance’s world upside down.

 

“Why’d you stop?”

 

They stared each other down for a long moment, and before Lance could change his mind he lunged back in, capturing Keith’s lips with his. This took Keith by surprise. He wasn’t fully prepared to catch Lance’s weight so they toppled over onto the bed, still attached at the lips. Lance pulled away, already breathless and embarrassed. He moved back off Keith and sat up, clenching his hands together. Keith felt confusion swirl up in his mind and he sat up and lightly touched Lance’s back. Lance flinched.

 

 _“Oh_ God, _he doesn’t actually want this.”_ He thought. He moved his hand away from Lance’s back and clenched his fists together. “I’m sorry.” He said out loud, “I don’t know what came over me.”

 

Lance didn’t turn to face him, just hunched his shoulders closer together. “No, I kissed you, it’s my fault.”

 

Keith felt the last of his hopes die. His throat constricted. An awkward silence fell over the room. “Lance I…” Keith felt tears pool in his eyes and he blinked to try to keep them at bay. How should he try to fix this situation? Should he pretend like it never happened? There was no way things could go back to normal after this, how could they? Suddenly his fathers voice rang through his head, _“There are so many moments I wish I could go back and redo. I missed out on so many opportunities because I was scared. I don’t ever want you to run from your feelings Keith. Don’t let happiness slip through your fingers because you’re too scared to fight for it.”_

 

 _“Just tell him. You’ve come to far to turn back now.”_ Keith told himself. “I’m not sorry that I kissed you.” He heard his voice as if he was underwater. Slowly, ever so slowly he looked back up at Lance. The other boy still had his back to him. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, almost since we met…” He found it was hard to go on. But Lance had turned around to face him, a look of disbelief on his face. _“Great, you’ve really done it now Kogane.”_

 

“What?” Lance asked, chest heaving.

 

“I’m not sorry that I kissed you.”

 

Lance blinked at him a few times. Then he finally spoke, “I’m not sorry that I kissed you either.” He said it as if Keith would try to kill him if he said that out loud. “Keith… I think I’m in love with you…”

 

Keith felt his mouth drop open as he stared at Lance. This boy, this crazy, talented, soft-spoken boy that three years ago couldn’t stand, says that he is in love with him. In love with worthless Keith Kogane. “You’re, in love with me?” He couldn’t believe the words that left his mouth. Lance only nodded. He looked miserable. Keith realized it was because Lance thought he didn’t feel the same way. “I think I’m in love with you too.” Keith said, god it felt fucking weird, but so fucking _right_ to say that out loud.

 

Again, they could only stare at each other. Then Lance started to laugh, out of disbelief or relief, Keith couldn’t tell. He laughed until tears came to his eyes. He clutched his stomach in his hands and looked and Keith and asked, “We’re fucking idiots aren’t we?”

 

Keith snorted and wiped his eyes and joined Lance in laughing. They laughed until they ran out of air, until the only thing left to do was stare into each other’s eyes. Lance timidly reached out and tucked a stray hair behind Keith’s ear. “Do you really mean it?” His voice was a scared whisper, “That you think you love me?”

 

Keith took a deep breath and grabbed Lance’s hand and weaved their fingers together. “I don’t think I am,” He started, and quickly finished at the pained look that crossed Lance’s face, “I _know_ I am.” Lance’s eyes darted up to his. God, what a feeling it was to be so completely vulnerable and open in front of the person that means the most to you in the world. Keith felt a smile stretch across his face, “I love _you._ Lance McClain, I love you.”

 

The brightest smile Keith had ever seen lit up Lance’s face. He moved in closer to Keith, their foreheads brushing together. “Keith Kogane, I love _you.”_ They stared into each other’s eyes, overcome by a thousand different emotions. Neither one could stop smiling. “Well,” Lance whispered nervously, “What do we do now?”

 

Keith brushed their noses together and closed his eyes, savoring this feeling. The feeling of being absolutely brand new. Of being loved. “We could always kiss again.”

 

Lance snorted at that, his breathe fanning out across Keith’s lips. “Yeah, I guess we coul-“ He didn’t get to finish that sentence because Keith had closed the distance between them and slammed his lips into Lance’s.

 

Lance let go of Keith’s hand and wrapped his arms around his neck, trying to draw him even closer in. It was a bit awkward, a bit rushed, they still had to get used to each other. But nothing in the world had ever felt as right as kissing Keith did. He suddenly cursed all the months he had utterly _wasted._ What a fool he had been.

 

Keith titled his head, changing the dynamic of the kiss. One around went around Lance’s back and roughly brought him closer, the other hand knotted in the back of his hair. As far as kissing went they had both experienced calmer, more practiced kisses. Kisses where the lips had lined up properly, where there had been tongue, but controlled. But those didn’t hold a candle to _this._ It felt like coming home.

 

Lance sighed into the kiss and pushed forward, savoring the taste of Keith’s mouth. He moved so they weren’t sitting side by side anymore, instead he straddled Keith’s hips, bringing them even closer.

 

But they wanted to get even _closer._ They had been waiting so damn long for this, it didn’t feel like they could get close enough.

 

Finally the need for air made them pull apart and they looked at each other, chests heaving. Lance touched Keith’s cheek, like he had done so many times before. He looked at the porcelain face he had come to know so well but suddenly started to notice new things. Like that Keith’s eyelashes tangle together in the corners. Or that he has the lightest of dusting of freckles across his nose. And he noticed, for the first time, the slightest streaks of what seemed to be purple in his dark hair.

 

Keith too, was noticing new things about Lance. Like the green flecks in his blues eyes, or just how fucking long his eyelashes were. Or just how long Lance’s hair had gotten over the years. “God, you’re so beautiful.” Keith felt the words trip out of his mouth, and he savored the blush those words brought to Lance’s cheeks.

 

“You’re the beautiful one samurai.” Lance pushed some hair off his forehead, “I mean, god. Where do I even start?” It was Keith’s turn to blush. “Your eyes are truly unfair.” Lance whispered.

 

“My eyes?”

 

“They’re like purple, Keith.” Lance giggled.

 

Keith felt his expression soften as he looked up at Lance. He gently touched the scar on Lance’s chin and then moved his hand to his cheek, where he ran his thumbs across his freckles. “I don’t even know what to say…”

 

They stared at each other again, and then they were kissing, again. This went on for what seemed like hours. They took their time rediscovering each other. Because when you openly love someone and they love you in return, the entire universe opens up for you. It was one of the most powerful things either one of them had ever experienced.

 

Hours later they lay side by side on the bed, holding hands. It was the middle of the nigh at that point, the only light in the room coming from some string lights above Keith’s bed. They lay facing each other, cheeks aching from the hours of smiling (and violent kissing). “I can’t believe how much time we wasted…” Keith said, quietly.

 

Lance nodded and reached out to touch Keith’s cheek. “I know. We’ve been such idiots.” He played with a thought and then carefully asked, “When did you, you know, figure it out?”

 

Keith sucked in his cheeks, a telltale sign that he was thinking. And it was stupidly adorable. “I think I’ve known for a really long time, but I wouldn’t let myself admit it, ya know?”

 

“How come?”

 

“Because if I said it out loud, then it would be true. And then I wouldn’t be able to keep it myself. I was convinced if I told you then you’d run away.” Keith didn’t say anything for a moment. “When did you know?” He met Lance’s eyes and smiled encouragingly.

 

Lance hummed as the memory dawned on him. “Remember back our second year? When I forgot to get my heart meds refilled?” Keith nodded, his expression growing cloudy. “I remember I asked you to stay in the infirmary that night, and you said you would. Because you knew I was scared.” Lance stopped and let the memory wash over him. “That night, that was when I realized I was in love with you.”

 

Keith reached forward and gently kissed Lance’s forehead. Then they went back to smiling stupidly at each other. “So, where do we go from here?” Keith asked.

 

Lance sighed and thought about it. “Remember our pinky promise?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“We were friends first. This is just an added bonus,” That made Keith laugh, “But I think no matter what happens, we have to promise ourselves that we are gunna be there for each other, no matter what.”

 

“Sounds fair to me.” Keith held out his pinky and quirked a brow, “Promise?”

 

Lance linked his pinky with the boy he loved, and the boy that loved him, “Promise.”

***

_Present Day_

“What did you find Keith?” Ulaz asked. Shay, Keith, Ulaz, Thace and Adam gathered in Ulaz’s office at the end of the day.

 

Keith eagerly spread the map and other documents out on the table. “So far we’ve only been tracking Acxa’s movements by shadowing her, but even then there are constantly holes because there are only five of us, we can’t track her constantly.”

 

Thace looked at him without emotion, waiting for him to get to the point.

 

Keith swallowed and looked back down at the map. “But now we have her cell phone records, and look at this.” He flipped the map around so the rest of the group could watch as he pointed things out. “She has made frequent calls near Tower 657, Rolo’s business is only a couple blocks away from Tower 657.” Keith then moved his hand further north up the map; “There are also a lot of calls made in this area, near Tower 659. Right near Lotor’s apartment complex. Thanks to Shay we now know that those two are living in the same building.” Finally Keith gestured at the last spots on the map that he had circled in bright red marker. “Over 30 calls in the last week _only_ near Tower 656. That tower is right smack dab in the middle of Altea and Galra Tech.”

 

Shay started to bounce back and forth between her feet, showcasing her excitement as well. Adam raised an eyebrow and asked, “Ok, but why is this helpful?”

 

Keith threw some other documents on the table; he had highlighted Acxa’s calls in different colors to show the similarities in her movements for the past month or so. “There is a pattern here. Every call that she makes around Rolo’s office is in blue. The calls she makes from home in green. Then the calls between Altea and Galra Tech in yellow. She makes biweekly trips up to Rolo’s office, and _always_ calls Galra Tech before she drives back there.” Keith laid out several sheets of paper to back up his point. “Then she usually calls home from the tower between Altea and Galra Tech.”

 

“But she’s not calling Lotor’s number.” Ulaz pointed out, looking over Keith’s shoulders.

 

“I noticed that too, so we had Adam help us trace the number she calls. It’s a landline that got set up in a two bedroom apartment on the first floor of that building.”

 

“So who has she been calling?” Ulaz asked.

 

“Haggar.” Adam answered for Keith and Shay. “Turns out those two are living together at the present moment.”

 

“We thought Haggar was only in town for a brief period.” Thace said, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Adam called the apartment building to ask about that apartment in particular, and the owner of the building said it was only recently rented out.”

 

Shay tapped the dates on the phone records, “About a month ago.”

 

Ulaz rubbed a hand across his face. “So what does this mean, exactly?”

 

Keith put both hands on the table in front of him. “Don’t you find it weird that they moved into the same building as Lotor? He only lives two floors above that apartment. Plus, we haven’t seen Lotor out and about lately. And if we have its been in the middle of the night.”

 

“They are trying to pressure him into something.” Thace said, moving closer to the table. He picked up a few of the pages Keith had highlighted.

 

Shay nodded. “We think so anyways. Otherwise there would be no reason for both Haggar and Acxa to move into the same building as Lotor.”

 

“We did see Lotor spending increased amount of time at Altea shortly before this happened.” Ulaz offered, sitting heavily at the chair behind his desk.

 

“So they’re pressuring him and keeping him away from Altea.” Thace muttered, seemingly to himself.

 

“Right. There are also increased calls between Haggar and Acxa from Tower 656, so we know there has been increasing movement in and around the areas of Altea and Galra Tech.” Keith finished. This by far was the best lead they had gotten in the case in _months._ “We just need to track their movements. Because,” Keith tapped the map and highlighted papers, “They have a pattern now.”

 

The room stayed silent for a long time. Then Thace broke the silence, “Are we actually one step ahead of them?”

 

Adam scoffed and adjusted his glasses. “For right now. As long as we don’t do something stupid and them aware of this.”

 

Thace looked up at Keith and smiled, a little grim, a little sadistic, “Alright then Kogane, where do we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know I said this chapter would be here a lot sooner, but life got crazy hectic. I did some traveling in October and it really set me back with school work and just life in general. I've also been working a lot so I just don't have time to sit down and write as much as I would like. But today I had a couple hours open so I sat down and smashed this chapter out. 
> 
> Lol ALSO, we finally got that GODDAMN kiss. I've been waiting so long to write it, and it was actually the first song, Out Loud by Scarypoolparty that inspired that scene. I also just love a musical Lance, so it was extremely self-indulgent to include in this fic. The second song is called Easy to Love by a band I adore, The Collier (y'all will notice that I said Keith's dad favorite band was The Collier). Besides writing my other passion is music, so I want to start to include more music into this fic, what do you guys think of that idea? Lemme know! 
> 
> This chapter was really, REALLY fun to write, and truth be told I haven't been this relaxed in a long time. I can't wait for you guys to get the rest of the story. 
> 
> Also... don't expect Keith and Lance to be happy for too long...


	16. What Ho, A Rat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing anymore 
> 
> (Also the chapter name is a Hamlet reference because I'm feeling angsty)

_Present Day_

 

Lance sat in his office at Altea, pouring over documents and new code from both the Red and Blue lions. Allura had been making astounding progress with Blue, so much so that Blue was almost fully unlocked. They were just that much closer to finally unlocking the secret of Voltron.

 

Red was getting closer, but Lance knew that Red wouldn’t unlock fully until he got Keith back. Not that he could tell his friends that. He had to be careful about how much information he was actually telling them, and he knew Hunk was starting to catch on to some of the lies he had been telling. But Hunk also knew Lance had been happier lately, and he didn’t want to get in the way of that happiness, at least, not yet.

 

Lance didn’t realize how late it had gotten until Shiro knocked on his office door. “Its like midnight buddy. Wanna turn in for the night?”

 

He glanced at his watch in surprise and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m almost ready to tick off. These charts just need a bit more sorting.”

 

Shiro watched him carefully for a moment and then nodded. “Try not to stay too much longer. Hunk is starting to get paranoid about all of us.”

 

Lance laughed lightly. “Yeah, I was beginning to notice that too.” He glanced out the window behind him. “Careful on the snow. Looks like it could turn to ice.”

 

Shiro waved a hand over his shoulder as he started to leave the building. “Same goes to you! See you tomorrow morning!” He called.

 

Lance heard the main door to the building tick closed and he went back to what he was doing. He always liked working late, having the office to himself. Of course when Keith was still around they would both work late, usually sending each other playful looks and racing to see who could get their work done first.

 

He looked up now, but was greeted only by the cold darkness of the office opposite his. But Keith would be back soon; he had to believe that if he wanted to keep going.

 

Burying his head in his work again a phone call around 1 A.M. scared him so badly he almost fell out of his chair. No one called the office phone number this late at night. Unless it was Shiro, maybe he got into some care trouble. But why would he call the office phone if he knew Lance has his communicator? Plus, it was only a five-minute drive for him to get home; if he ran into any trouble he would call Matt first.

 

Wearily he picked up the phone, “This is Altea, can I help you?” He instantly felt awkward for answering that way but he didn’t know how else to pick up a call this late at night.

 

“Lance?”

 

He felt his brow furrow, “Lotor?”

 

“Yes, I’m sorry to call at this late hour. But I must be brief.”

 

“What’s going on? Did something happen to you?”

 

Lotor sighed and Lance could practically feel how stressed he was. “Not yet, but something might.”

 

“What the hell is going on?”

 

Lotor sighed again. “I haven’t been to my fathers office in weeks, he is more on edge than he has ever been. He is aware of the progress Voltron has been making and it is making him nervous.”

 

“Has he hurt you?”

 

“Physically? No. Mentally? Yes. Though I wouldn’t put physical violence past him.” He stopped for a moment. “Its not just him anymore though.”

 

Lance pushed papers aside until he found a pen and a notepad and began to scribble some things down. “What do you mean it’s not just him?”

 

“I’ve more or less trapped in my apartment building for about a week now.” Lotor laughed bitterly but Lance could hear the uncertainty in it, “My mother and Acxa have moved into the first floor of this building. I can’t leave without being accosted by the two of them or their other cronies.”

 

“Jesus.” Lance stopped writing things down and looked up to the dark office across from his. “Is your father trying to prove a point or something?”

 

“Maybe. I think he found out that I had been going to Altea quite frequently. Setting up watch dogs for me defiantly stopped that.”

 

“God. Are they trying to starve you out? Its inhumane!” Much as Lance disliked Lotor he felt anger boiling in his stomach. No one deserved to be watched and hassled like that.

 

Lotor laughed again. “He’s done worst to me. I just wanted to call to…”

 

“To what?”

 

“To set some things straight. Before I don’t have the chance to.”

 

“You sound like you’re marching off to a fire squad.” Lance tried to make light of it but now he was getting nervous.

 

“Again, I wouldn’t put it past my father.” Lance couldn’t see it but Lotor was crying now. “I just, I lied to you all a couple months ago. The first time I came to Altea to meet with you all. I um, I said that I knew my father had to do with Keith’s appearance.”

 

Lance felt his breathe stop up in his throat. “What do you mean you lied?”

 

“I knew my father wanted to kidnap Kogane before hand… and I didn’t do anything to stop it.” Anger and betrayal spiraled in front of Lance’s eyes. He sucked in a bite of air and forced himself not to start screaming. He couldn’t wholly blame Lotor for Keith’s disappearance. He couldn’t. Zarkon has killed before, Keith had told him that. Lotor also admitted it wouldn’t be out of place for Zarkon to kill his only son for defying him. “Lance?” Lotor nervously asked.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m still here.”

 

“I um, my father, he also forced me to interrogate Kogane when he was first captured.”

 

Lance squeezed his eyes shut. “You had to do more than just interrogate him, didn’t you?”

 

“I’m afraid so. I didn’t want to, please believe me Lance. But if I hadn’t he would’ve killed both of us and went after the rest of you.”

 

Lance scrubbed a hand across his face. “Did you help him get out?”

 

“I started to. But a man that used to work for my father, his name is Thace, got him out before I could follow through with my plan.” Lotor stopped and sucked in a deep breath. “I am truly sorry that I lied to you, but I didn’t know how to tell you all. You already distrust me enough as it is.”

 

“Why are you telling me all of this now?”

 

“Because I’m going to have another chance to.” The other man stayed quiet for a minute and Lance heard him sniffle. “I am truly sorry for the part I played in this mess McClain. But I know Keith will find his way back to you. You are both too stubborn not too. It was lovely talking with you.”

 

Lance stood suddenly, a dark feeling twisting in his stomach. “Lotor! Wait-“ But he heard the other end of the line click dead. “Shit, shit!” He mumbled into his empty office, grabbing his keys and shrugging into his jacket. As he sprinted out of the office he dialed Shiro’s number. Slipping and sliding he made it to his car, his frosty breath lingering in front of his face before it disappeared. “Pick up Shiro, come on. This serious, pick up…” He fumbled with his keys and groaned in frustration when he dropped them. As he stooped down to pick them up Shiro finally answered the call.

 

“Lance? Did you slide off the road or something? That ice is pretty nasty out there.”

 

“No. No, I’m fine. But I don’t think Lotor is.” Lance scrambled into his car and cursed under his breathe when it sputtered and wouldn’t turn over. He cranked the key again and got the engine to start.

 

“Lotor, wait, Lance. What are you doing?”

 

Lance peeled out of the parking lot, going way too fast on the icy roads. “He just called me at the office. Wanted to get something off his chest. His father had been terrorizing him at work so he stopped going. But now his mother and Acxa are keeping holed up in his apartment.”

 

“God. That’s terrible. But where are you going?” Shiro had shaken Matt awake and he was now sleepily rubbing at his eyes. Matt mouthed, “What’s wrong?” but Shiro only shook his head and gripped his communicator a little tighter.

 

“I’m going to Lotor’s place. He just hung up on me. And he sounded… he sounded like me a year ago.”

 

“Shit…” Shiro flung the covers away from his legs and started to stumble around the dark room in an attempt to find pants and shoes. “Call the police, and don’t go in that apartment until someone else is with you.” He squinted as Matt turned on a lap beside the bed and watched him with worried eyes. “Lance. I’m serious. Don’t go in there without someone else. Do you understand me?”

 

“I understand. But Shiro… hurry. Please.”

 

Shiro ended the call and tossed his communicator into the bed. He pulled on some old sweatpants and hurriedly pulled on some old black combat boots. “Shiro, what the hell is going on? Is Lance in trouble?” Matt had gotten out of bed at this point and grabbed Shiro by the forearms to get him to calm down.

 

He met eyes with Matt and kissed his forehead. “Lance is fine, but Lotor might not be. Lance is going over there now… He didn’t really explain much.”

 

Matt glared at the floor for a second and then started to pull on a sweatshirt and shoes. “Well you aren’t going over there on your own.”

 

Shiro watched Matt tie his shoes and felt a lump form in his throat. When Matt straightened up Shiro pulled him into a tight hug and buried his face in his hair. Matt seemed to understand what Shiro wanted to say without words and hugged him back just as tight. “Lotor is going to be ok.”

 

Pulling away from Matt Shrio grabbed their car keys and started to head for the front door. “God I hope so.”

 

***

Lotor hung up, squeezing his eyes shut. Lance had been starting to say something but he had to hang up before the younger man could say something that could get him to change his mind. Wearily he walked through his kitchen and living room and into his bedroom. He took a second to stop and look at his reflection in the mirror above his bed. He looked absolutely exhausted; the dark circles under his eyes looked more like bruises. Being watched constantly made it so he was too paranoid to sleep. When was the last time he had eaten? Not that it mattered anymore.

 

Kova was sleeping on one of his pillows. Sitting down on the bed next to her he stroked her fur lightly as not to wake her. It felt wrong to leave her behind, but it only a matter of time before his father finally had it with these games and killed him. Better to leave on his own terms.

 

He had a plan, and someone would show up to take pity on his cat. Chuckling darkly he closed his eyes and rested his head against his headboard. “What a life father. The only thing I’m leaving behind is a cat.” But there was no one to answer him.

 

McClain was probably rushing over here now, and no doubt called the police or his friends. “Better do it before someone gets here, huh girl?” He asked his sleeping cat. Sighing he got up and went into his bathroom and closed the door. Zarkon made him carry a gun at all times, “For protection” he had said. Lotor snorted. “Protection my ass. I only ever needed to protect myself from you, father.”

 

Lotor picked up the small handgun and watched how the lights reflected in the neatly polished metal. This was the first time he had actual held it in his hands. He was about to lift it to his head when something in his apartment crashed to the floor. Startled he turned from the mirror and watched his bathroom door. Opening it slowly he held the gun in front of him. Had his father sent men for him already? Seemed a little early for that.

 

Cautiously he peeked his head around his bedroom door and saw a curtain fluttering in his living room. _“Well fuck me.”_ He thought listlessly. He dashed down the short hallway and pointed his gun at the stranger now standing in his apartment. The man had darker skin and glasses. And was dressed in all black. A vase lay shattered on the floor, water slowly soaking into the rug. _“This is the fool my father sent to kill me?”_

The man in glasses held up his hands in surrender. “Whoa, man. Put the gun down. I’m here to help you.”

 

Lotor felt his eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “To help with what? Breaking my all vases?” He couldn’t believe he was exchanging playful banter with an intruder.

 

The man shrugged, “I haven’t done this in a while ok? We don’t have time for this.” Red and blue lights started to flash a few blocks down. The intruder groaned and moved back to the window, glancing up and down the street a few times. “Thace and Ulaz sent me.” He turned back to face Lotor, his hands back in the air, “They want to help.”

 

“Thace? He’s still alive?” Lotor lowered the gun an inch.

 

“Yeah, he is. So is Keith, but you already knew that, didn’t you?” Lotor only nodded. The gun fell to his side. “Cool. Guns freak me out.” He stuck out a hand, “I’m Adam.”

 

Lotor shook the strangers, no, Adam’s hand a little wearily. Adam smiled tightly. “Ok, we gotta move. The cops are coming down this block. And another car just pulled up in front of the building. We can’t risk anyone seeing you. Your dad has some of the cops under his thumb.”

 

Shaking his head Lotor ran out of the room and returned quickly, pulling a hoodie on. “Where are you going to take me?”

 

Adam was already climbing out of the broken window. “Somewhere safe.”

 

As Lotor climbed out of his window and onto the slim fire escape he saw McClain climbing out his car. He had his communicator pressed to his ear and appeared to be talking fast. _“He’s going to think this is his fault.”_ Lotor felt himself think. But he didn’t have a choice at the current moment. Adam was already scrambling up the ladder and onto the roof. He followed behind as quickly as he could manage. It was starting to sleet. Once he joined Adam on the roof he held his face up into the unrelenting spray coming down from the heavens.

 

Adam paused and looked back at Lotor. Thace and Ulaz had told him that Lotor was different. “ _Not so much different, more refined. Empty.”_ Lotor closed his eyes as sleet pounded down on them. After a second or two he shook his head and looked back at Adam. “Ok. Come on. We don’t have much time.”

 

Lotor just nodded and then they disappeared into the night.

 

***

Shiro and Matt pulled up to Lotor’s apartment building where several police cars were already waiting. Lance stood outside, the sleet drenching his hair. Matt leapt out of the car and ran to Lance’s side. Shiro turned off the car and did the same. “Any news?” He asked.

 

Lance shook his head. “The police won’t let me go up there.” He turned his eyes up to the apartment building. “Which can’t be good.”

 

Matt put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Don’t worry too much.”

 

Shiro watched Lance for a bit before he also turned eyes up a few floors to Lotor’s apartment. He saw that some of the lights were on, and in the dark rooms he saw the policemen move around with their flashlights. He wanted to back up Matt on this, but he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

After waiting in the freezing sleet for another ten minutes a policeman finally motioned for them to follow him upstairs to Lotor’s apartment. The policeman stayed silent the entire time, making Shiro even more nervous. He glanced at Lance again. His face was white but his jaw was a hardline.

 

“Which one of you is Lance McClain?” An officer asked when they reached Lotor’s floor.

 

“I am.” Lance answered. Water was dripping from his hair and down his face. He didn’t seem to notice.

 

“You made the 911 call, correct?” Lance nodded. “You said you thought the individual that lived here could be in danger?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Can you tell us anybody that might have tried to hurt him?” Shiro felt his stomach drop. What were they about to walk into?

 

“His father. Zarkon. He runs Galra Tech.” Lance was starting to shake. Matt put a hand on the younger mans shoulder again. “Did you find anything?”

 

The officer sighed and stepped aside, allowing them to enter the apartment. “Don’t touch anything, this is active crime scene. If you seeing anything out of the normal tell us.”

 

Lance nodded and walked slowly into the space. Shiro and Matt followed close behind. Shiro instantly noticed the broken vase, and more importantly the broken window. The color drained from his face.

 

Lance looked at the window for a moment and moved further into the apartment. Shiro found that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the broken window. _“Lotor, what the hell happened to you?”_ Matt took his hand and squeezed, hard. “They are going to get to the bottom of this, I’m sure of it.” He said quietly. Shiro only squeezed Matt’s hand.

 

Lance returned to the living room, holding Lotor’s cat and stroking her head. He met Shiro’s eyes and shook his head. The officer in charge came back over to the silent group. “Notice anything out of the ordinary?”

 

“The gun, on the coffee table there. I don’t know if its Lotor’s or not.” Lance said, his voice firm. “But if someone broke in here they probably took Lotor with them.”

 

The officers questioned the three men for a while longer before they were allowed to leave, Lance took the cat with him. Before he went back outside he zipped Kova up in his jacket so she wouldn’t get wet. He stared out into the dark night, eyes showing how clearly exhausted he was. It dawned on Shiro that this scenario was similar to when Keith disappeared. Shrio stopped him from walking outside. “Lance, do you want one of us to drive you home?”

 

Lance blinked a few times and then shook his head. “No, no. I’m fine. Just, frazzled is all.”

 

Matt shook his head. “You don’t look so hot right now. Let me drive you home. Shiro can follow us to your apartment and we can go home from there.”

 

The young man sighed. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” The three men made their way into the night, and slowly drove through the ice slicked town.

 

The two men in Lance’s car stayed quiet, the soft purring of Lotor’s cat the only sounds in the car. “Matt?” Lance finally broke the silence.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Its my fault that Lotor is gone, isn’t it?”

 

Matt glanced over sharply and shook his head. “Lance, come on. You can’t put this on yourself. We don’t know what happened yet. Or what Lotor was thinking when he called you.”

 

Lance looked down at the cat zipped up in his jacket. He inhaled deeply and rubbed at his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Ok.”

 

“Lance? Hey. Listen to me.” Matt waited until Lance was looking at him, “Don’t you dare blame yourself right now. You did that when Keith went missing and it nearly destroyed you. This whole situation sucks. It does. But if you let this eat you up there won’t be anything left.”

 

Lance blinked, his eyes full of tears. “I’m sorry. That call probably scared you guys shitless.”

 

Matt chuckled and went back to paying attention to the road. “Yeah. It did. But we are going to find out what happened to Lotor. We are going to find him.” He was about to add that they would find Keith too, but he forced himself to stop. Bringing up Keith right now would only depress Lance further. What shit luck this poor kid had. Right when he was starting to perk back up and things at work were finally starting to fall into place.

 

A few minutes later they pulled up in front of Lance’s building. Matt glanced at his watch and saw that it was nearly 3 in the morning. “Try to get some sleep ok? There isn’t anything else we can do at this point.”

 

“Right.” Lance paused, “Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you at work in the morning.” He took his keys back from Matt and made his way into the apartment, finally letting the cat out of his jacket. She paced around curiously for a moment or two, then settled on the couch. Lance peeled his soaking wet clothes off and fell into bed, groaning. He hoped to god that Lotor was ok. Which was a new thought, considering he admitted to torturing his boyfriend.

 

Lance rolled over so he was facing the ceiling. He felt a pressure at the end of the bed and soon Lotor’s cat was curled up, sleeping right next to his head. Tears he had been suppressing all night started to stream from his eyes and into his ears. Keith had been tortured. He had been hurt. For nothing more than information. When Keith had told him that Zarkon took him he left out a lot of details, and now Lance could see why.

 

He rolled over again and pulled the covers up tighter around his chin. When they found Lotor he was going to punch him right in that perfect fucking nose.

 

***

Adam made his way through the icy back allies of town, Lotor close on his tail. Thace and Ulaz had considered sending either Shay or Keith to get Lotor, but wisely decided against it. Shay was too unpredictable when it came to her emotions, and Keith and Lotor had a… history.

 

At first even Ulaz was against Thace’s idea of “rescuing” Lotor and bringing him into the fold. Keith had said little, his lip just tightened and he stared out a window until he was dismissed. Shay had yelled (as per usual) and Ulaz had talked Thace down from it. Adam thought the matter was over and done with, until a few days later.

 

He, Shay and Keith had been staking out Lotor’s apartment building, Galra Tech and Altea over the past few days. They had Haggar and Acxa’s patterns of moving down to a science. Keith usually watched the apartment building, Thace was nervous about having him any closer to Altea or Galra Tech than he needed to be. Adam was in charge of tracking Zarkon and his movements. Since he came back into the fold of this operation he brought more high tech equipment, pieces of tech that the group couldn’t have risked trying to buy off the black market. The fear of being discovered kept them from doing that.

 

Adam used a device that allowed him to pick up and listen to any phone call within a three-block radius of where he was. He listened to and logged almost every single one of Zarkon’s calls and reported anything suspicious. Keith had a similar device and used his to keep track of Lotor and whether or not Haggar and Acxa had flushed him out of his apartment yet.

 

Adam only had two of these devices though, which irritated Shay to no end. She watched Altea, and Thace told her it wasn’t as important that she need to know every single call that came out of the building. “They’re still a business.” He told her went she started to throw a fit, “We don’t need to know how many AI infused toasters they are selling. Just watch for persons of interest.”

 

Thace was starting to get more strung out the longer they went without new information. He snapped at everyone now, including Ulaz. Adam knew that he was just frustrated. They seemed to be on the cusp of something, but of what, they didn’t know.

 

So it came that one snowy afternoon Adam was at his post near Galra Tech, listening in on a phone call Zarkon was making to some of his henchmen.

 

“Yes sir, who is to be our target?”

 

“My son. Haggar and Acxa have him holed up in his apartment. He should be easy enough to be rid of.”

 

“Sir. But we were told Lotor was to be watched because he was valuable.”

 

Adam heard Zarkon sigh, it came across as static. “He had failed to produce anything worth my time. He is no longer useful.”

 

The henchman hesitated before answering, “When shall we eliminate him, sir?”

 

“In a few days. Make it look like an accident. And _don’t_ let him escape. He could tear down what is left of this company.”

 

Zarkon hung up and Adam cursed under his breath. He grabbed the walkie-talkie sitting next to him and fired off a message. “Guys we need to meet. And soon. Zarkon is up to something.”

 

Twenty minutes later the group was gathered in an abandoned building near the edge of town. Thace was the last to arrive, and Adam could sense that he was shimmering with energy. “What did you hear?” He breathlessly asked.

 

“Zarkon is going to kill Lotor. Within the next couple of days.”

 

“Shit.” Keith hissed, dragging a hand through his hair. “Why?”

 

“He said Lotor has lived past his usefulness. And that he is starting to pose a threat to Galra Tech.”

 

The group remained silent, thinking through their options. Ulaz pulled his coat tighter around himself. Shay shuffled back and forth on her feet. Thace had his eyes closed and a thumb pressed to his temple. Keith finally looked up and met eyes with Adam. “We can’t let Zarkon kill Lotor.”

 

Three pairs of surprised eyes turned to Keith. “What then do you propose?” Shay questioned, shoving her hands in her pockets.

 

Keith shrugged. “Lotor has done a lot of messed up shit, but it was because his father forced him.” He looked up and met Ulaz’s eyes. “I told you about what happened… right after I was taken. Lotor didn’t want to do any of it. Zarkon threatened to kill both of us if he didn’t.”

 

“So you’re saying he’s been redeemed? Or that he had a right to his actions?” Shay was bristling with anger. “I say let Zarkon kill him. One less problem for us to worry about.”

 

Keith was looking to Ulaz again. Adam had noticed those two seemed to be closer as of late. “There has been enough bloodshed.” Ulaz finally said. “We can try to stop that, right here, right now.”

 

“We are better than Zarkon.” Keith said quietly, “We don’t just abandon people and leave them to die.”

 

Thace finally spoke up. “How do we get him out then? He’s been under constant watch for weeks now.”

 

Adam readjusted his glasses and rubbed at his chin. “Not constantly. There is a period of about 30 thirty minutes where Haggar and Acxa are both in cars heading to other places. That would be the only time we would have to grab him.”

 

Ulaz nodded at him and looked to Thace. “But who do we send in?” No one volunteered. Keith just crushed his cigarette underneath his boot and glared into the night.

 

Sighing Adam stuck a hand into the air. “I’ll do it. Don’t think it would be wise to send anyone else.”

 

And that is how Adam found himself slipping on a patch of ice as he and Lotor sprinted across a deserted intersection. They were nearly back to the new hideout; it was further out than the last one. Along with growing more frustrated Thace was also more paranoid so he moved the base of operations to the very outskirts of the city. Lotor had been completely silent since they left his apartment and it was starting to creep Adam out. He thought he was used to intense guys, hell Keith could practically melt a wall with his eyes when he was pissed off. But Lotor was a different kind of intense. He was more desperate, willing to do anything.

 

He motioned for Lotor to follow him, then stopped and squatted in an alley as a lone car drove down the cracked road. “We’re almost there.” He whispered, keeping his eyes peeled. “Shouldn’t take us more than five minutes.”

 

Lotor nodded, his eyes hard. He had finally put his hood up, shoving the mass amounts of white hair into it. Adam knew that Thace would demand he cut it off; it was too much of a marker. You could spot that hair from a mile off.

 

Rolling his eyes Adam got moving again and sighed in relief when their destination finally came into view. He pointed at the building and dashed forward, making the last push home. He opened the storm door to the basement of the building and made sure Lotor went down first. Squinting he tried to see through the sleet that continued to fall harder with every passing minute. He couldn’t make out anything. They hadn’t been followed. Good. Closing the cellar door behind him he found Lotor waiting at the bottom of the steps. Now he looked scared. Adam couldn’t blame him. This group could be frightening when it came to outsiders.

 

Adam knocked on the door and pushed inside, waiting for Lotor to come in as well. “I think the only person home right now is Keith.” He didn’t bother trying to guess Lotor’s mood. “Don’t worry. No one is going to hurt you. Physically anyway.”

 

Keith emerged from a room; Adam was surprised to see that he looked nervous. He refused to make eye contact with either one of them. “He can sleep in there. Thace is going to be here first thing in the morning.”

 

Glancing back at Lotor Adam sent him a quick grin. “Well. See you in the morning then.” He left before anything else happened. Tonight was too much excitement for his taste. God, he couldn’t wait till he got home to his dog.

 

Back in the dingy basement Keith and Lotor stared each other down. Keith was the first to speak. “There are dry clothes in there for you.” He started to head back into the room he had come out of, “I know it doesn’t feel like it but you’re safe here. Try and get some sleep.” And then he was gone.

 

Lotor stood dripping in the center of the doorway. Weariness pulled at every fiber of his being. He wasn’t even supposed to be alive right now. But here he was, standing in the basement of an abandoned building. And the only other person that was here probably wanted to kill him. A bitter laugh tripped out of his mouth and scrubbed aggressively at his eyes. He wasn’t going to cry. Not here.

 

But when he walked into the small room where he would be staying his knees buckled and he collapsed on the floor. He pulled his knees to his chest and hid his face. What in the ever living hell had he gotten himself into this time?

 

***

He was awake long before he should have been, but sleeping in the same building as Keith made him nervous. Plus, he hadn’t seen Thace in over four years, and if Thace was in charge of the operation of taking down his father he was sure the only reason they rescued him was because they knew he had information. Lotor heard other people arriving; he heard Keith’s voice. Plus the man that had saved him last night, what was his name? Oh right, Adam.

 

Swallowing his fears Lotor changed into the clothes that had been left for him and walked out into the main room. The group of men fell silent at his approach. He tugged nervously at his hair and then crossed his arms. Adam was the first to speak. “Hm. Can’t say that all black really suits you dude.”

 

An older man standing just behind Thace chuckled, then offered Lotor a warm smile. “Hello Lotor. My name is Ulaz. I’m sure you are, er, rather well acquainted with the rest of us.”

 

“I am.”

 

Thace stared him down. “Now young man, don’t think that sent Adam in, risking his own life, for you to sit around. You are expected to pull your weight around here.”

 

“I figured that would be the case, sir.”

 

“You are also aware of what we are trying to do here, correct?”

 

“I’d imagine you are trying to get rid of Galra Tech.”

 

Thace nodded, sighing deeply. “You are going to help us to that. If not you’re on your own. Is that clear?”

 

Lotor wrung his hands together. “Crystal, sir.”

 

Ulaz touched Thace’s shoulder. The men looked at each other for a moment, speaking with their eyes. Thace nodded and stepped back, giving Ulaz the floor. “Now, son. There are a few rules. No trying to contact people from the outside.” Lotor saw Keith twitch out of the corner of his eye, “And no moving through the city unless you have direct orders. That is for your own safety.” He stopped and his eyes turned sympathetic, “And son. Your hair.” Lotor felt himself wince.

 

“I’ll cut it off.” His eyes dropped to the floor.

 

“Thank you.” Ulaz’s voice was still gentle. “Shay is the only other member of this, organization, but she is on watch currently. You’ll have the chance to meet her later.”

 

Lotor nodded. Looking back up at the older man. He and Adam would probably be the only people that showed him any kindness while he was here. “Well.” Thace said, “The rest of us must be off. Keith will be here today. Try to get along with each other.” His voice was so stern. Lotor knew that either one of them made a fuss Thace would be down their throats.

 

Adam winked at him and followed the other men out of the door. Then a painfully awkward silence fell over the room. Keith lit a cigarette and watched Lotor for a long time. He then walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a pair of scissors. Keith put the scissors down on the table between them and took a long drag from the cigarette. “I know how much this situation sucks.” He met Lotor’s gray eyes. “But try and make the best of it. There’s a mirror in the bathroom.” With that Keith turned on his heel and blew smoke from his nose.

 

Lotor grabbed the scissors and watched as Keith sat at a table across the room and started to rifle through paperwork. The cigarette hung out of his mouth in an almost comical way, but he had to admit Kogane made for an interesting sight. He looked like a movie poster. What with the cigarette and tattoos and all black. He glanced up at him and took another drag. Lotor looked away quickly and found the small bathroom Keith talked about.

 

Wiping some dust away from the mirror he tried not to get emotional. It was only hair for fucks sake. He and his father had taken everything away from Kogane. And Kogane came out stronger for it. The losses and pain didn’t break him; he used it in his favor. As he stared at his hair in the mirror he forced himself not to cry. But for the longest time his hair was the only thing that was wholly _his._ His family controlled every other facet of his life.

 

He jumped about ten feet in the air when Keith knocked on the doorframe. He leaned up against it and smashed what was left of the cigarette into the concrete floor. Lotor tried to gauge Keith’s mood but he couldn’t read his eyes. “Come on,” He said simply, “You shouldn’t have to do that.”

 

Wordlessly Lotor followed Keith back into the main room and sat in the chair Keith pointed at. He sat down heavily and closed his eyes when he heard Keith start to snip away at his waist length hair. For a long time the only sound in the room was the snipping of the scissors. Then Keith finally spoke. “Don’t think I’ve forgiven you. Nothing in this world is that simple. But I understand why you had to do… all of that.” He paused for a moment as he cut off another lock of hair. “But Thace, Ulaz, Shay, Adam and I are a family now. You’re a part of it as well. Shay isn’t going to like you, and I’m tolerating you. For the sake of Ulaz and Thace.”

 

Lotor swallowed and finally opened his eyes; he was surrounded by white hair and caught strands of it drifting off his head from the corner of his eyes. “I understand.”

 

Keith stopped and tugged on a strand of hair, “And I’m letting you know now, if you ever even _think_ about double-crossing us, I will know. And if you try to put any of us here in danger, or the rest of my family back at Altea, I will know. If you try to hurt Lance, I will know. And I won’t be as understanding then.” His voice was deadly even and serious.

 

Closing his eyes again he nodded. “Understood.” The two men fell quiet again. Lotor’s head started to feel lighter as he lost more hair. He supposed once it was all gone it wouldn’t hurt as bad, but having someone he couldn’t trust getting rid of it, that hurt.

 

Keith spoke up again. “Thace and Ulaz don’t mean any harm by making you do this you know.”

 

“I know. But I’m too recognizable with it.”

 

“They made me cover my tattoos for a while. Lance had so many posters up that my tattoos became a sort of symbol.” Keith hummed, “I stopped covering them after a while though. But it felt wrong when I did cover them. Felt like I was hiding a part of who I was.”

 

Lotor didn’t respond but he felt a stray tear leak out his right eye. “But, I figured you kept the hair for a reason. So I’m sorry.” Keith’s voice was still firm but he sounded sad. “Once this is all over you can grow it back.”

 

“No, its fine. I only kept it this long to make my father mad.” Lotor gestured loosely to all the hair on the ground, “White hair was one of the only features that I got from my mother. Not that she was ever a stellar parent either.” Keith snorted, making him jump.

 

“Your dad is a dick.” He said it so plainly Lotor found that he was laughing.

 

“True.”

 

Another silence fell, but it wasn’t as tense as it was before. “Ok,” Keith started, “I’m done.” He watched the other man stand and slowly make his way back to the bathroom. He figured he would Lotor alone for a while. The guy gave him intense anxiety but he was still human. Raised by two of the shitest people in the world.

 

He started to clean up the hair on the floor and winced when a memory came over him. He tried not to think about the year that Zarkon and Galra Tech held him. But every once in a while the memories will flood over him and he shakes and sweats almost as if he is reliving it.

 

The scars on his back were the only physical proof of what had happened to him, but he was sure the mental scarring would stick around for the rest of his life. Dropping into a squat he held his hands over his eyes and tried to force those memories from his head.

 

If the flashbacks got any worse he would have to go talk to Ulaz again. The first couple of months after he had been rescued were the worst. The nightmares were constant, so he never slept. But even his waking memories were plagued with the horrors he had been through. Ulaz told him it was PTSD, and did everything he could to help him. And slowly he had gotten better. But living and working with the man that had been responsible for so much of that pain was starting to bring everything back.

 

Keith opened his eyes and ran a hand over his face. He was doing this for Lance, to get back to Lance. For everyone else at Altea. So if it meant working with Lotor for the time being, then so be it. The communicator he had been hiding in his pocket chimed and he pulled it out and read the short message from Lance. He felt his eyebrows draw together.

 

_Lotor called me last night. Told me what he had done. I’m never going to forgive him… but he’s gone missing. Matt and Shiro are worried sick_

Keith stood and typed a message back.

 

_Lotor is fine. He’s with us. For the time being anyways._

Lance didn’t respond for a long time, long enough that Keith was starting to get nervous.

 

_They’re making you work with Lotor?_

Keith scrubbed a hand over his jaw again. Lotor was still in the bathroom, so Keith felt it was ok to show a little emotion. He was angry, vengeful, and scared. Just utterly fucking terrified.

 

_Yeah. I know. It sucks. But if he can help us end all of this shit and get me back to you… it’s worth it. For now_

Lance’s return message was short.

 

_All right. But be careful. Don’t trust anybody. I love you_

Keith swallowed hard and sent a quick, _Be safe and I love you too_ back to Lance just as Lotor walked out of the bathroom. He looked exhausted. And a little lost. But he saw the communicator before Keith could get it hidden. He didn’t try to reprimand Keith though, just smirked. “So that’s how McClain has been talking to you.”

 

“How do you know I’ve been talking to Lance?” He felt himself bristle.

 

Lotor held up his hands in front of him. “He didn’t tell me. I just know. I’m not shaming you either Kogane.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, “At this point we can use any outside help we can get, now that I’m out of the picture.”

 

“Right. Ok.” He paused, then walked back over to the table he was at earlier. “Ulaz knows about it, so does Shay. But if you breathe a word about this to Thace I will personally ring your neck and enjoy doing it.” He lit another cigarette in an attempt to calm his nerves. He then glanced back up at Lotor and gestured to the chair across from him. “Now, you’re going to tell me everything you know. Don’t leave out a single detail.”

 

***

Lance put his communicator down and sat up on his couch. He had come home from work early, he couldn’t focus on anything. Shiro hadn’t come into work at all; Matt said he wasn’t feeling well. Lotor vanishing must have affected more than Lance had originally thought.

 

He hadn’t really had a goal when he messaged Keith, they had promised each other that they would only send messages when it was absolutely important or an emergency. It was safer for Keith that way. But he had to tell _someone_ about what had happened with Lotor. Matt and Shiro were in their own state of mind, and he couldn’t really drag Hunk or Pidge into this.

 

So he had messaged Keith. He couldn’t believe it when Keith said that _he_ was with Lotor. And was expected to work with him, even after all the shit Lotor had put him through. He went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. What a _fucking_ mess their lives had become. But Keith was right, if working with Lotor meant they would find each other sooner, then it was a necessary evil.

 

Lance walked back out into his living room and went back to some of the paperwork he had been working on. He had gone to the public registers office and pulled what records he could on Rolo’s business. There wasn’t much, just some newspaper articles here and there, but none of them told Lance something he didn’t already know.

 

What he was looking for he still wasn’t quite sure, but he was sure a stray treasury statement or bank deposit would turn up eventually. If he could pinpoint when all the money started to roll into Rolo’s company he could then try and trace where that money had come from. One thing he knew for sure was that Rolo was getting money from Zarkon, or places even higher up. There was no way his tiny tech company made that much just shipping other companies’ tech.

 

Lotor’s cat jumped up on the coffee table and settled on a stack of papers he had read through hours earlier. Lance stared at the cat for a long moment then glared at it. “Don’t get too comfortable here. I’m sure Lotor will come back with a blaze of glory and take you back.” Kova just blinked at him.

 

Sighing Lance picked up the last package of papers he had to look through. Flipping open the folder he read through a couple of small newspaper articles and tossed them aside. He then picked up a page that looked different from everything else he had already seen. Dropping the rest of the folder back onto the coffee table he started to read through the short document. Then a smirk crossed his face.

 

“I finally got you, asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, hey guys. Long time no see. It is almost finals week here at my university so of course I sat down and wrote this chapter out of pure stress instead of doing any of my actual work. 
> 
> I also basically changed the rest of the plot of the story with this chapter so where this story is headed, who knows. Your guess is as good as mine. 
> 
> See you guys soon.


	17. Let's Finish What We Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of notes at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> Also all I'm gunna say is Lotor deserved better so I'm giving him the best.

Adam tapped his finger against his desk as he gazed at his computer screen. Ever since Lotor jumped ship and joined their side of the fight they had been rolling in new information. At first it seemed like it would be a great help, and it was. But everyone quickly realized that if they moved too quickly and kept making direct attacks at what was left of Galra Tech that Zarkon and his cronies would notice. So now they had to play the waiting game, and it was agonizing.

 

Shay was constantly on edge, Thace and Ulaz eventually sent her out of the city for a time. She said she wouldn’t, or more likely, couldn’t trust Lotor. Being around him made her even angrier than she usually was.

 

She was scheduled to be coming back into the city for a short time to help Keith out with some things, but even that made her nervous. She was convinced that Lotor was going to turn on them all.

 

Not that Adam didn’t have his doubts as well, but having Lotor working through the underground made his job a lot easier. A lot less sneaking around in the middle of the night. It was Keith that Adam was worried about. For the most part he had kept a brave face, he was the one working with Lotor. Keith was quieter now, infinitely more reserved. Not that he had ever really “come out of his shell” in the first place, but still. He knew what he was doing was working for the greater good, but it couldn’t be a comfortable working relationship, for either of them.

 

As for Lotor, well, he was a shell of what he used to be. He hardly ever spoke. He only piped up when he was relaying information to Keith or Adam. With his short hair he wasn’t even recognizable, and what, with that distant and pained look that was constantly in his eyes. The attitude about him was different too. He was a lot more serious, more determined. When he gave the group information it was always short and concise, he was doing his best to make the most of his situation. Adam could tell that he was getting antsy though, it was still too dangerous to let him scope out Galra Tech or any of the other businesses they were watching. The only time he left the basement where he and Keith were stationed was to go to meetings at Ulaz’s offices. Keith was still going out though, and he said he knew it drove Lotor nuts. And now that Shay was gone there were less people on the ground to watch Galra Tech and Haggar’s movements. So that left Keith and Adam to most of the recon missions.

 

And today Adam was nervous, a while back Thace and Ulaz had tasked him with meeting up with Shiro. Adam and Shiro did know each other, they had a… complicated history. Though it was all in the past. They had dated years ago, back when they were still in high school.

 

It was actually the Garrison that had driven them apart. Shiro was so damn insistent about going and tried talking Adam into it as well, but he didn’t see a future for himself there. It would’ve stifled him. So Shiro and Adam had broken up right after they graduated high school. They didn’t talk for a long time, but when they did finally reconnect they rebuilt the friendship they had once had. Adam had even met Shiro’s boyfriend, and Matt seemed like a nice guy.

 

At least Shiro hadn’t seemed suspicious when Adam had called him up. It had been a while since they had talked last. But Adam kept it friendly; making it out as nothing more than a causal catch up over coffee.

 

He glanced at the clock on his computer; he’d better stop dragging his ass and get going. As he left his apartment he couldn’t really place why he was so nervous. This wasn’t new, he and Shiro got coffee every couple of months. Hell it was practically routine now.

 

Adam stopped just outside the coffee shop and glanced inside. Shiro was already inside, sitting with his back to the window. As Adam sat there and stared at him he finally placed the blame on the uneasy feeling in his stomach. It wouldn’t be easy sitting across from Shiro and look him in the eyes when Adam knew full and well that Keith was alive and trying to come home.

 

He had talked with Keith a couple of weeks ago about his situation. Keith told him that Lotor had gone to Altea and told everyone about Keith being kidnapped and being rescued after about a year. But the only person that Keith had been talking to was Lance. And as far as he knew Lance hadn’t told anyone else, for Keith’s safety. So everyone was aware that Keith could still be out there, maybe.

 

Shiro shifted in his chair and rested his chin in his hand, gazing out the window opposite him. Adam felt a sigh leave his body. Shiro still had those stupid bleached white bangs. And he looked tired.

 

God, he really should have told Ulaz that he couldn’t do this.

 

Steeling his nerves Adam walked into the coffee shop, the bell above the door announcing his arrival. Shiro glanced behind him and smiled, standing and heading over towards Adam. Adam smiled back and was soon wrapped in Shiro’s warm embrace. “Hey.” He said, his voice coming out a little more choked up than he had planned.

 

Shiro pulled back and pulled his bangs away from his forehead. “Hi. It’s been a while.”

 

“It has.”

 

“I already got us some coffee,” Shiro headed back for the table, “Still drinking it black?”

 

Adam felt a small flush come over his cheeks. “As always.”

 

They settled at the table Shiro had picked and just looked at each other, drinking it all in. Shiro fiddled with the ring he wore on his thumb. “So, how have you been?”

 

Adam glanced down at the coffee on the table in front of him. “Oh, you know. Busy.” He met Shrio’s eyes. “Doing a lot of freelance stuff these days.”

 

“That did always seem to suit you.” Shiro sipped his coffee, “I saw the website you created for Nadia’s business. Its incredible.”

 

Adam shrugged and rubbed at the back of his neck, “Well, you know Nadia. She wanted only the best.”

 

“Well, using 4D like that, just for a website? You nailed it.”

 

The two met eyes again and Adam felt a smile trip across his face. “You’ve always been too nice Takashi.”

 

Shiro just shrugged and glanced back out the window. “And you’ve always been too hard on yourself.” Adam laughed and Shiro turned back to him and quirked a brow, “See what I mean?”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Adam took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. “So… it’s been almost four years now.” He met Shiro’s eyes, “Are you ok?”

 

The mood around the table darkened considerably. “Ok as I can be.” He sighed heavily; “My mom and dad are taking it really hard this year. Probably because they are both getting older. They don’t want to go without knowing for sure what happened to him.”

 

Adam felt his chest tighten. God this sucked. “So there still hasn’t been anything official decided?”

 

“No. I don’t think there ever will be. When he first went missing there was no chance of a, of a body.” Shiro swallowed and clenched a fist, “So the cops basically chalked it up as Keith just running away. But we all knew he would never do something like that. Not when his whole world was back here.”

 

“Right. You were starting to make some pretty heavy progress on Voltron right?”

 

“We had been, yeah. It all came to a stop after that.” Shiro paused and looked at Adam intensely for a second. “If I tell you something kind of crazy, do you promise not to tell anyone else?’

 

“You know I’d never do anything like that to you Takashi.”

 

“A couple months back Lotor showed up at Altea.”

 

Adam already knew this, but he said, “Seriously?”

 

“Yeah. Freaked everybody out. But he knew what had happened to Keith.”

 

Again, already knew. But again, he said, “Jesus.”

 

Shiro took the ring off his thumb and spun it on the table. “Galra Tech had taken him. Lotor said they were forcing him to work on another version of Voltron, but one that Zarkon could use.”

 

He was quiet for a long moment. “But he said after about a year Keith just, disappeared again. Not even Lotor knew what happened to him after that.”

 

Adam swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Are you sure you can trust Lotor though? His father is Zarkon after all. Maybe he was sent in there to scare you guys.”

 

“I trust him. I was friends with the guy once. Plus, I don’t think he would’ve come all the way down to Altea just to be an asshole. Lance was gutted after he left.”

 

Ah, the infamous Lance. Adam hadn’t met the guy, only ever seen him from a distance. But the way Keith talked about him Adam knew he was a good guy. One of the best apparently. “What do you think happened to Keith?”

 

Shiro met Adam’s eyes with an empty stare. “Honestly? I think it is highly likely that he’s dead.” He stopped and sucked in a deep breath. “I want to believe he is still out there, I mean for fucks sake he’s my brother. But if he got away from Galra Tech why wouldn’t he have come home? If he was still alive he would’ve been back years ago.”

 

How to go forward. Where should he even start? “I don’t think you should give up hoping.”

 

Shiro chuckled darkly. “Yeah, I know. Matt says the same thing. But we should’ve found him by now. Or he should’ve found us. Its not like we’ve gone anywhere.”

 

Adam looked back out the window. A light mist had started since he had come inside. All the things Ulaz and Thace wanted to know were swirling through his head. He had to keep grilling Shiro, or he was ordered to do so. But staring at the broken man in front of him Adam found that he just couldn’t.

 

Ignoring all the voices in his head screaming at him he looked back at Shiro and said simply, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Takashi.”

 

***

Keith couldn’t stop tapping his foot. If got his foot to stop tapping then he just switched to tugging on his hair. If he got himself to stop that then he picked at the skin around his fingernails. It was safe to say he was on edge. It had been almost a week since Thace had contacted him about a job to do. And it wasn’t like he could just stroll around downtown and window shop if he got bored. He’d been on countless walks around the deserted parts of the city, but the winter weather was quickly going to put a stop to that soon. So he’d been holed up in the basement (apartment, thing?) and he had to share with Lotor.

 

He did have to admit he had it better off than Lotor; Keith could at least leave if he wanted to. It was still too dangerous for Lotor to go anywhere. Keith glanced up and over at the older man. He was sitting on the floor, legs crossed in front of him. He had been reading from a book Ulaz brought him a couple of days ago. Not a minute went by before Lotor would stop reading and mark a passage with a pen. It was driving Keith a little nuts. He had never been the type of person to write in his books, made him anxious. Lance did it all the time though. _“How else am I supposed to remember this quote Mullet?”_ Keith’s heart clenched and his foot when back to its sporadic tapping.

 

There wasn’t anything to do down here. But it was sleeting outside and he really didn’t feel like catching hypothermia just to get away for a few minutes. So Keith got up and started to pace. His black combat boots soon started into a rhythmic tapping. Lotor didn’t seem bothered by this, and it bothered Keith. Finally fed up and desperate to take his mind off his worries Keith plopped on the floor in front of Lotor and tapped the book with a finger. “You’ve been obsessed with this stupid book for days. What are you reading?”

 

Lotor glanced up in surprise. He hadn’t really been all that talkative since he joined the group. Keith had been the same way. Keith didn’t think he was scared though. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Lotor took a second to compose himself and marked his place in the book and then handed it over to Keith. “J.R.R Tolkien, _Beowulf: A Translation and Commentary._ ” Keith handed the book back. “I remember reading _Beowulf_ in high school.”

 

Lotor hummed and flipped through the dog-eared pages. “I’ve always been a fan of Tolkien.”

 

“Why’d you ask Ulaz to get this for you?”

 

“When I was younger my mother would read _Beowulf_ to me. She thought it was important for me to grow up on the classics.” Lotor grew quiet and flipped through a couple pages until he landed on a passage. Then he read it aloud. “ _Then the Prince of the Scyldings, that king of noble line, kissed there the best of knights, clasping him about the neck. Tears ran down his face beneath his grey-strewn hair. Two thoughts were in his heart old with the wisdom of years, but this thought more, that never might they meet again proudly in high discourse. To him the other was so dear that he might not restrain that upwelling of the heart, but twined in the heartstrings in his breast longing profound for that beloved one now burned within his blood”._

Keith blinked a few times, taking a moment to absorb those words. “I don’t remember much about the poem now. It’s been years since I read it seriously.”

 

“Hrothgar had to say goodbye to Beowulf after the younger prince saved his kingdom. Hrothgar knew that at his age he probably wouldn’t live to see Beowulf again. But he had come to love the young prince as a son.” Lotor glanced down at his hands and blinked. “But he still allowed him to go home, for the greater good.” It wouldn’t have taken a genius to sense why this passage meant so much to Lotor. He clearly thought of Hrothgar as Alfor, and Beowulf as himself. Altea was Lotor’s Denmark. Grendel the monster could easily be a metaphor for his own family. Keith hadn’t been working at Altea while Lotor was interning there, but Shiro had told him that Alfor had taken Lotor under his wing. Lotor had bloomed at Altea; he had been integral to the first steps in activating Voltron. But Alfor had had to let Lotor go, even though Alfor didn’t want to. “Then Beowulf goes on to live a life full of adventure and war, even ends up as King one day. But he never got to see Hrothgar again. Then he died, alone.” Lotor laughed darkly, “So much for the wealth of kings.”

 

“But he didn’t die alone.” Keith said, picking up the book and thumbing through it.

 

“All his warriors abandoned him when they faced the dragon.”

 

“You’re forgetting about Wiglaf.” Keith found the proper passage and began to read, “ _Now to a son of mine I should have wished to give my harness of battle, had it been granted unto me that any heir of my body should follow me._ … _Now go thou swiftly and survey the Hoard beneath the hoary rock, Wiglaf beloved.”_ He looked up and shoved the book back toward Lotor. “In the end Wiglaf never abandoned Beowulf. He stayed by his kings’ side and fought with him. Even if it meant his own death.”

 

Lotor glanced over a couple passages, a thoughtful look tripping across his face. “Wiglaf was brave.”

 

Keith snorted. “Yeah, he was. I always thought he was underappreciated. Kinda like Sam.”

 

“Sam?”

 

“Yeah. Samwise Gamgee. From _Lord of the Rings.”_

 

“Oh, yes. Sam. Of course.”

 

Keith quirked a brow and ran a hand through his hair. “Please tell me you read _Lord of the Rings.”_

 

It was Lotor’s turn to look offended. “Of course I did. I’m not that depraved.”

 

Keith couldn’t help but to laugh. “When I first read the books I always thought Frodo’s quest was pointless. Why even try and stop the greatest evil Middle Earth has ever seen? He’s just one hobbit.” He paused and picked at his jeans, “But the older I got the more I understood him. He knew that his quest could be all for not. He wasn’t stupid. But Frodo knew he wasn’t alone. He had Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir and Gandalf. He didn’t have to do anything alone. His bravery came from their strength.”

 

“If you’re trying to make some speech about how the ‘power of friendship’ will help bring down my father I’m sorry to say I don’t really want to hear it Kogane.”

 

Keith snorted again. “Please. I don’t believe in any of that bullshit ok? The world has fucked me over too many times for me to be sentimental anymore. All I’m _trying_ to say is that you are not alone in this anymore, ok?”

 

Lotor met Keith’s eyes with a wary stare. “The only reason I am here right now is because I’m Zarkon’s son. I’m here for the information and information alone.”

 

“You really don’t get it, do you?”  


“Get what, Kogane?” Lotor said, exasperated. “I have information that you can’t get anywhere else. Once I cease to be useful you will all toss me back out in the dark to face reality. My father wants me dead. This ‘organization’ only wants me until I can’t be useful anymore. I am alone. I always have been.”

 

Keith groaned and rubbed at his face. “Thace and Shay might act like they think that way, but deep down they both care too much about people. That’s why I’m here.” He opened his eyes and met Lotor’s intense stare. “And you know Ulaz. He has a heart of gold. Once he heard you were in trouble he was instantly trying to think of a way to get you out. Because you _are_ useful.”

 

Lotor swallowed thickly and moved his eyes to the floor. “How can you even tolerate being in the same room as me? After everything I did.”

 

“Trust me, I’m still not happy about it. But you’ve lived one fucked up life dude. And I know you were only doing what your father told you to do. He would’ve killed us both had you tried to refuse.”

 

“You’re a puzzle Kogane.”

 

“Yeah. You’re telling me.” Keith looked around the dark basement they were calling home. “You like to think you’re super complex but we’ve all seen right through you.”

 

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

 

“You’re tired, and scared. Exhausted from having to hide from your father. Your whole life people have been telling you that you aren’t good enough and eventually that idea stuck. So even now, you can’t find anything about your life to value.”

 

Lotor glared, rage shining behind his eyes. “Are you my therapist now?”

 

“No. But you probably need one.”

 

Lotor blinked in confusion. Then a surprised laugh erupted from him. “You know, you are probably right Kogane.”

 

Keith stood, dusting off his jeans. “You might think you’ve been abandoned. You might think you’re alone right now. But somewhere out there you are going to find your own Wiglaf. And they’ll stand by your side no matter what.”

***

“Sir, there is a phone call for you on line two.” A nervous voice floated through Rolo’s phone.

 

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Who is it?”

 

“They wouldn’t say sir, but he insisted that I put him through.”

 

“I told you I wouldn’t take calls unless I knew who it was. I made that _very_ clear.” Rolo groaned inwardly, he never should have hired this girl. She only knew the bar bones what he did with his business, but it still made her extremely paranoid. He should fire her, if only for her sake.

 

His secretary was quiet for a moment, “Yes sir, I tried that, but he keeps calling. He said he will only stop if you speak to him…”

 

“God. Fine. Put him through.” Rolo clicked off the call with his secretary and pressed the button for line two. “This is Rolo.”

 

“Rolo. Hi. It’s been a long time.”

 

The blood in Rolo’s veins ran cold as he recognized the voice. “Kogane.”

 

“Ah, so you do still recognize my voice.”

 

“What the hell do you want? How are you even still alive?”

 

Keith laughed, the static on the line making him sound sinister. “You’re asking quite a lot of questions. Don’t you think I should be the one asking _you_ why you turned me over to Zarkon?”

 

Rolo swallowed thickly and clenched his fist so hard he drew blood in his palm. “I needed the money at the time. It was an easy enough job. It was almost too easy in fact.” He was mad now. He was trying to rile Kogane up. His hands were shaking violently. What purpose could Kogane possibly have? Doesn’t he know how easy it is to track phone calls? Was he _trying_ to get caught? Or was he just trying to throw Rolo under the bus? If Zarkon caught wind of this Rolo would be dead within the week. “Now tell me what they hell you want.”

 

“A little impatient, aren’t we?”

 

“Kogane, I swear to _god…”_

 

“You’ve talked to Lance recently, haven’t you?”

 

Rolo laughed bitterly. “So you two have been in contact with each other.”

 

“Maybe we have, maybe we haven’t. But Lance was there.”

 

“He was.”

 

Kogane stayed silent on the other end of the line. Just when Rolo was about to hang up the pieces clicked in his brain. “Holy shit. You’re doing this all on purpose.”

 

“Smart man.”

 

He fucking knew. Kogane _knew_ that Zarkon tracked all his calls. Plus, Lance isn’t stupid. He has to know by now that Rolo is at least partway responsible for Kogane disappearing. Rolo was trapped. On one end Zarkon would be coming, demanding why an unknown number kept calling his offices. But even if he could find his way out of that situation Lance was on the other side. All it would take would be a simple call to the police and a tip leading here. They would put the pieces together and Rolo would go to jail. Rolo’s hands continued to shake, but he was sweating now too. _“Godamnit. Why now? Why did this have to happen now?”_

“You didn’t call just to mock me, Kogane. What do you want?”

 

“We have your throat in a vise. So unless you do what I say, well, your other options aren’t looking so hot, are they?”

 

Rolo squeezed his eyes shut. “And what is that you are proposing that I do?”

 

Keith sighed on his end, making the hair on the back of Rolo’s neck stand on end. “I have a message you need to deliver to Altea. Then you are going to tell Zarkon that you are done working for him.”

 

“Are you fucking crazy? I can’t do that!” Rolo opened his eyes and glanced around in disbelief. “Zarkon will kill me.”

 

“Not if you’re smart about this.”

 

Laughing ruefully Rolo asked, “How am I supposed to be ‘smart’ about this? He watches every move I make.”

 

“Tough shit. He did the same thing to me, for a _year._ And you still have your freedom. Grow a pair and do what I say and you might just live.”

 

Weighing his options Rolo fought down a wave of rage. Lance showing up at his offices a couple months back was enough to crack the fragile peace that Rolo existed in. When Zarkon first approached him all those years ago he _knew_ it would be foolish to sign on. But his business was failing, how else was he supposed to save it? It was all he had. So he signed on for one job. To get rid of Kogane. That bastard had been haunting him since the Garrison, and old anger was hard to kill. So he did the job. Zarkon paid him well, and in full. It was enough to keep his business running for another year. And it felt _good._ And it was only one job.

 

But Zarkon approached him again, and offered even more money this time. Enough even for a nest egg. Rolo wanted to say no. Everything in him was _screaming_ no. But in the end it had been too good of an opportunity to pass up. Then it was just two jobs. Maybe three. Then the number kept growing and growing. Soon enough it was much too late for Rolo to back out. He was trapped. But he managed. Most of what he did was the grunt work, like moving supplies in the middle of the night from place to place. It was criminal work, but it was making him more money that his original business ever did. He ended up doing it so much that it didn’t even feel illegal anymore. So Rolo slipped into an uneasy peace, and nothing he did shattered that.

 

That was… until Lance. It was always Lance. Rolo hadn’t been expecting Lance to just turn up out of the blue. It brought back every bad thing Rolo had ever done. Including giving Lance’s boyfriend to the kingpin of one of the biggest underground criminal organizations on the west coast. And Rolo knew from the second that Lance walked into his office that he knew. Lance had never been stupid. And he had been sent to Rolo on purpose. Someone wanted Lance to know that it was Rolo’s fault that Keith went missing. It just took a while for Rolo to realize that it was Kogane.

 

So many years had passed that Rolo was convinced that Kogane was dead, but the crafty bastard managed to keep going. He shouldn’t be surprised really. Lance and Keith were everything to each other. Kogane wouldn’t have given up on Lance, not as long as he was alive. Lance was the same way. In a way those two pitted against him were more terrifying than Zarkon could ever be.

 

Groaning Rolo unclenched his fist and watched the blood run down his palm and down his wrist. “Alright, I’m listening Kogane.”

 

Rolo could almost feel Kogane smirking through the phone. “Good. So here’s what you’re going to need to do.”

***

 

For the past couple of days Lance had been staying later and later at Altea. He knew he was so close to another breakthrough with Red, if he stuck with it he was sure the lion would be unlocked fully before the months end.

 

He was also losing his mind with worry; he hasn’t heard a word from Keith in almost two months. Now that he knew Keith was alive and well not hearing anything from him made him sick to his stomach. Plus, he hadn’t told anyone else at Altea about Keith yet. He was trying to find the time and reason. He wasn’t like he could just casually call a team meeting and announce, “Sorry I’ve been keeping this a secret for so long, but Keith is alive and we’ve been communicating for months now. Oh, also, he can’t come until he tear Galra Tech apart from the inside out. Anyways, should we break for lunch?”

 

Lance rubbed at his eyes. Looking at the clock above his door he saw that it was well past midnight. “Fuck.” He muttered. Truly he hadn’t meant to stay this late, what he was doing had just distracted him. It was better to keep his mind distracted though, until he heard from Keith again his nerves were going to be frayed and on edge.

 

Packing up his bag he left the office, turning off lights and locking the front door. A light snow had begun in the past few hours. The streetlights reflected off the low hanging clouds with a strange orange hue. Lance sighed. He missed the stars. Hopping into his car he drove through the mostly empty streets. Salt trucks were already out in full force; most likely trying to make the streets safer for the morning commute.

 

He arrived home a few minutes later and trudged up the stairs to his front door. He took his shoes off in the doorway and flicked on a couple of lights. God he was so sick of this stale and empty apartment. Since tearing down that stupid wall the apartment felt and looked more like an ad in a catalogue than a place where someone actually lived. After Keith had gone missing Lance had taken down a lot of the things on the walls. He and Keith had spent _months_ perfecting the place and it felt wrong to keep a lot of those items up on display without Keith there to see them as well.

 

Lance drifted over to the closet where he had shoved 90% of that stuff and opened it carefully. Pieces of art and other pictures line the back wall, doing nothing but gather dust now. Lance sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the closet and started to pull pictures out one by one. Some of the memories captured in those photos weren’t quite as painful now. Like the picture of Hunk, Pidge, Keith and Lance the day they graduated from the Garrison. Lance smiled ruefully, he and Keith still looked like a little scared to be around one another, hell they had just made up from that fight a couple days before graduation.

 

Up until Keith had gone missing Lance’s senior year at the Garrison had to be one of the darkest times in his life. Cringing Lance put that picture down and picked up the next one. Ah. A picture from the break Lance spent with Keith. The two boys were posed at the summit of a mountain trail. Lance had one arm thrown over Keith’s shoulders, pulling him in close. Keith was grinning so hard and so bright Lance found that he couldn’t look at the picture any longer.

 

The next picture he pulled out of the closet made his heart ache. It was taken the day that he and Keith signed the papers to buy this apartment. They both looked so scared and unsure, but still so full of hope. Lance rolled his eyes and thought bitterly, _“Too bad everything went to shit a couple years later.”_

 

Lance kept digging around in the closet until he found all the pictures he wanted. Carefully he went around the apartment and hung them back up on the long abandoned nails still in the walls. Stepping back to observe his work Lance had to smile, just a little. Keith _was_ going to come home. Once he was back they could finally start to replace all the old memories with new ones.

 

He went back to the closet and was about to shut the door when he noticed something partway covered by an old painting. Moving that aside Lance found Keith’s old guitar, god, he hadn’t touched this thing in years. Pulling the case from the closet Lance shut the door behind him and went and sat on the couch. The case was covered in dust from years of neglect. Hopefully the guitar itself was still in good shape. Lance zipped open the case and felt a pang when he finally looked at Keith’s old black guitar again.

 

Lance tried to strum a chord and winced when he heard just how out of tune it was. He spent the next couple of minutes tuning that guitar, and once he was satisfied he played a few scales to warm his fingers up again. God, he hadn’t played in a _long_ time. Hadn’t wanted to really, he really only ever played for Keith anyways.

 

As he was trying to think of a song to play he heard his communicator chirp in his coat pocket. Sighing he got up and retrieved the communicator and plopped down on the couch. He was expecting to find an email but instead saw that he had a message from an unknown number. A little scared he opened it up and felt his heart drop.

 

_Play my song Sharpshooter?_

Lance felt his breath catch in his throat. He glanced up to look outside. Moving closer to the window and looking around he couldn’t see anything, just the snow falling quietly around the streetlights. With shaking hands he moved a chair over to the window and opened it up far enough that whatever he was playing could be heard outside. He typed a message out on his communicator.

 

_Anything for you Samurai_

 

With hands shaking he started to play through a song he thought he had forgotten by now.

 

_Be my mistake_

_Then turn out the light_

_She bought me those jeans_

_The ones you like_

_I don’t want a hug_

_I just wanna sleep_

_The smell of your hair_

_Reminds me of her feet_

_So don’t wait outside my hotel room_

_Just wait ‘til give you a sign_

_‘Cause I get lonesome sometimes_

_Save all the jokes you’re gonna make_

_While I see how much drink I can take_

_Then be my[mistake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onby3d2lFDc&frags=pl%2Cwn)_

Lance sang the next couple of verses with a lump in his throat. Tears dripped off his chin and onto the smooth surface of the guitar. But he finished the whole thing. After he played the last chord he sat in silence and watched the snow drift through his blurred vision. He started to shiver so he closed the window. The communicator chirped from where he had dropped it on the floor. Wiping his eyes he picked it up and opened the new message and felt himself smile.

 

_You sound a little rusty there Sharpshooter_

Lance snorted, then started to laugh. Of course Keith could simultaneously make him cry and laugh at the same time. They hadn’t seen each other in _years_ and Keith was still Keith.

 

_Of course you chose to critique my playing you ass_

The next message came a few minutes later.

 

_God I miss you, your singing, your playing, your laugh. But I promise I’m coming back to you_

Sighing heavily Lance typed out another message and then quietly put the guitar away. Curling up in bed he sent it and squeezed his eyes shut and hugged a pillow tight to his chest. Some days it felt like this wallowing pit in his stomach would never go away.

 

_I believe you_

***

 

Keith was lonely. Ok? He hadn’t been able to touch base with Lance in a couple of months and everything in him ached for it. It was like a drug. He _needed_ to see Lance. Just to know that he was ok. Or as ok as he could be, circumstances considered. So late one snowy night he decided to take a walk, and ended up outside his old apartment building. All the lights were off so he guessed Lance must be asleep. Upon closer inspection though he noticed that Lance’s car wasn’t in the parking lot. Keith squinted through the snow and felt his stomach twist. _“He probably just stayed late at the office, that’s all.”_

 

So Keith decided to wait for a while. What harm could it do? He was concealed in the dark and snow. No one was going to see him. Hell, he’d done this several times at this point and no one had ever noticed him before. Turns out he didn’t have to wait long until he saw Lance’s car pull slowly into the parking lot. Lance was moving slower than usual, _“He is just… tired from work is all.”_

 

Once Lance made it inside the apartment he flicked some lights on and stood in the middle of the living room for a long time. Just… standing there. Keith clenched his fists in his jacket pockets. It was taking every fiber of his being not to sprint across the street and smash through the door and pull Lance into his arms and never let him go. Lance finally started to move. He opened a closet door and then sat down, methodically pulling what looked like pictures from within the closet. After several minutes of this he stood up and moved around the apartment, hanging pictures up as he went.

 

_“Ok, fuck.”_ Keith thought. He hadn’t realized Lance had taken all their pictures down. Made sense though, if Keith had lost Lance he wouldn’t have been able to look at pictures of him everyday and stay sane. Keith blinked back a few tears and noticed Lance was sitting on the couch now. He had his old guitar out. Before he could even think he had dashed across the street and positioned himself under one of the apartment windows. Straining he could faintly make out Lance tuning the guitar.

 

Hands shaking Keith pulled his communicator out of his pocket and sent a message. He pulled himself into the shadows under the window so Lance couldn’t see him. But all Keith wanted right now, no, _needed_ right now was to hear Lance’s voice. After about a minute or two of silence Keith heard the window above his head slide open. Then Lance started to play Keith’s song. Tears instantly streaked down his face and clung to his jaw and chin. Lance’s voice sounded husky, like he was trying not to cry. But _god,_ Keith had never heard anything more perfect than that.

 

When the song was over Keith lingered for a few seconds longer, letting feelings wash over him. He heard the window slide closed so he carefully stole back through the shadows. Once he was a couple blocks away he sent another message, trying to keep it lighthearted. Lance answered back, of course he did.

 

Once Keith was done sending messages he ran back through town, chest heaving. His lungs burned as he sprinted through the deserted side of town. The wind whipped at his face making his eyes water. But it was better than feeling, well, everything else. He needed to try and speed things up, and soon. He didn’t know how much longer he could survive without Lance.

 

He finally made it back to the dingy basement where he and Lotor were stayed. He was surprised to find a light still on. Lotor was sitting on a ratty old couch, writing something down in a notebook. His gray eyes darted up upon Keith’s entrance and then quickly returned back to the notebook. “Stayed out late again tonight.”

 

Keith shrugged and wiped his watery eyes on the hem of his t-shirt. “Just needed to run off some energy.”

 

“You went to see Lance, didn’t you?”

 

Keith stopped in his tracks and eyed Lotor. “You aren’t going to tell Thace or Ulaz are you?”

 

Lotor snorted. “No. They have enough to worry about without knowing about your middle of the night lovesick fieldtrips.”

 

Keith’s eyebrows drew together and watched Lotor for a moment. “Well, thanks. I guess?”

 

“Your too smart to get caught.” Lotor looked up and met Keith’s eyes again, “Plus, you two mean a lot to each other. Do what you need to do.”

 

Walking over to the couch where Lotor sat Keith glanced over his shoulder. “What are you working on anyways?”

 

“Here, look for yourself.” Lotor ran a hand over his face. “When you called Rolo the other day it got me thinking. My father didn’t trust me with the names of all the higher ups in his criminal organizations, but what I do know is where a lot of products get shipped from.” He tapped a pen against the notebook, “I’m sure if we watch a couple of these places then a shipment will be delivered. Then someone could follow it to wherever it goes and try to find out who exactly my father is working for.”

 

Lotor handed Keith the notebook and he skimmed the pages. “Wow. Ok. Good thinking Lotor. Plus the information Rolo is going to send to Altea will give them a heads up of who to look out for as well.”

 

“Exactly. If we can find out just who exactly my father is doing business with we can tear those organizations down first.” Lotor crossed his arms over his chest, “Plus, these criminals all work the same way. If enough of their buddies get caught whoever is left will run for the hills. They won’t stick around to help my father if it means protecting their own asses.”

 

“Good thinking. We can tell Ulaz and Thace about this first thing in the morning.” Keith handed the notebook back and put a hand on Lotor’s shoulder. “You should try and get some sleep. I know how much it sucks just sitting around while other people get to go outside and get their hands dirty. But you’ll be out on the field with the rest of us in no time.”

 

Lotor smirked. “Careful what you say Kogane, it almost sounds like you’re warming up to me.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes and held out a fist and waited for Lotor to bump it. “We’re in this thing together now, I’m not the only one trying to get back to a life I left behind.”

 

Sighing Lotor bumped Keith’s fist and smiled, though it was full of sadness. Keith then went into his room and closed the door, leaving Lotor sitting on the couch. He closed the notebook and looked down at his hands. It was terrifying to admit, but he did feel like he and Kogane were growing closer. Even after all the awful things he was forced to do to him. But Keith was right, they’d tear down Galra Tech and his father and then Lotor would go back to his life of solitude. But god, what would it be like to be alone again?

***

 

Hunk glanced up from the paper work that he was doing when he saw Lance walk into the office. It had snowed quite a lot during the night so Allura told them all to come in about an hour later than usual. Lance still looked tired though, well, not really tired. Hunk looked at him a little harder as Lance walked past his office. Dazed. That’s what it was. Lance looked… dazed.

 

Concern welled up in Hunk’s stomach. Getting up from his desk he walked into Lance’s office. The other man had plopped down at his desk and had his head buried in his hands. “Lance?” Hunk asked carefully.

 

Lance’s head whipped up in surprise. “Oh. Hunk. Good morning.”

 

Hunk moved further in Lance’s office and sat down on the edge of his desk. “What’s going on man? You look like you saw a ghost.”

 

Lance closed his eyes and rested his head against one of his hands. After a bout of silence he looked back up at Hunk with tears in his eyes. To Hunk it looked like Lance was struggling with something. He couldn’t tell what though. He put a hand atop Lance’s free hand and looked at his best friend carefully. “You know you can tell me anything right? We’ve known each other for so long now, you can still trust me.”

 

Lance grabbed Hunk’s hand and squeezed it. He looked guilty. “Oh, Hunk I’m sorry. I never meant to make it feel like I didn’t trust you. Because I do. I always have, I always will.” He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes again. “But I don’t know how to tell you this.”

 

Hunk sighed heavily and squeezed Lance’s hand back. Whatever Lance was keeping to himself was eating him up inside. Hunk couldn’t fathom what it was. When Lance met his eyes again Hunk felt his heart break. It looked like Lance was being torn in half. Swallowing he patted Lance’s hand. “If you don’t know how that’s ok. Take some time to figure it out, yeah?”

 

“Hunk…”

 

“No, Lance, its ok. We’re both adults now. We are bound to have secrets every once in a while.” Hunk ran a hand through his hair. “As long as you aren’t doing anything dangerous…” He thought back to when he found Lance curled up in bed, empty bottle of sleeping pills in his hand. Looking away he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t want to find you like that again. If you want me to call someone for you…”

 

“It’s not anything like that Hunk. I promise. The past couple of days have just been stressful. That’s all.” Lance looked at his oldest friend and felt the secret he was keeping well up in his throat. He almost just blurt it out. That Keith was still alive. That just last night Keith was somewhere so close that he listened to Lance sing him his song. But just when he thought he was going to explode a deep, selfish part of his heart stopped him. Telling the rest of his friends about Keith still being alive, after knowing about it for so long, it would be so unfair. Plus, how could any of them trust Lance after he kept a secret like that? So, in the end, he found that he couldn’t tell Hunk. And he felt Hunk’s pain. Lance used to tell Hunk _everything._ Shit, Hunk was the first person Lance ever came out to. And here he was, holding back a secret that could everything.

 

Hunk looked back at Lance and smiled softly. But it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know buddy. I know.” He walked back to Lance’s office door. Without looking back he said, “I will always be here for you. I hope you remember that.” Then he left Lance alone. Guilt ate away at Lance and he gripped his hair in his hands until he could feel the pull. It felt like he was playing on two different sides of a battlefield. On one side was Keith, his other half, the love of his life, his saving grace. On the other was Altea, the rest of his friends, no his _family._ And he was lying to them. But at this point in the game what choice did he really have? In the end it would all work out. It would have to, otherwise Lance would break.

 

Groaning Lance slapped his hands against his head a few times to snap out the funk he was in. He was just beginning to power up his holoscreen when Matt came barreling breathlessly into his office. “Get to Allura’s office. I’m getting Hunk and Shiro.” Then Matt was gone again.

 

Confused Lance stood and poked his head into the hallway where he just caught Matt disappearing around the corner to Shiro’s office. It was deadly quiet. Nerves prickling at the back of his neck he walked into Allura’s office where she and Pidge were hovered around Allura’s holoscreen. They didn’t even glance up when he walked in.

 

Seconds after Lance arrived Hunk, Shiro and Matt made their way into Allura’s office. “Good.” She said without even looking up. “You’re all going to want to see this.”

 

Hunk was the first to make his way around Allura’s desk to look at her holoscreen. Lance watched his eyes dart back and forth, obviously reading something. “Jesus Christ…” He whispered.

 

Shiro glared around the room and demanded, “What the hell is going on?”

 

Allura tapped a fingernail against her desk and chewed at her lip. It was rare to see her so out of sorts. “I just received a coded email. That’s why I called Pidge in here. She said it was easy enough to get past the firewalls. What we weren’t prepared for was the information in the email.”

 

“Pidge, what happened?” Matt was the next to add his voice to the conversation.

 

“It’s a list of shipments. _Years_ worth of information.”

 

Shiro grew frustrated from all the tension. “God, guys just tell me what the hell is going on. No need to be so cryptic.”

 

Matt moved around behind Allura’s desk, leaving Shiro and Lance in the doorway. Lance and Shiro glanced at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Shiro looked as nervous and strung out as Lance felt. He’d been on edge since the night Lotor went missing. “Holy _shit.”_ Matt breathed. “Someone just hit us with a motherfucking jackpot.” He glanced up excitedly at Lance and Shiro. “It’s a list of shipments made to and from Galra Tech. Dating back at least four or five years.”

 

“You’re kidding.” Shiro’s arms came uncrossed.

 

Matt waved Shiro behind the desk. “Look at this! It doesn’t say where exactly all this shit went, but… it’s a start. Right?”

 

Shiro was now pouring over the list, a strange look coming over his face. “Yeah, yeah. This is way more than just a start.” He looked up at Lance. “Wanna see this?”

 

Lance shrugged. “Guess I’m going to at some point, right?”

 

Pidge moved aside so Lance could take a look at the screen as well. “Holy shit.” He said without realizing he said it aloud. Matt was right. The list was long, with the products (mostly obtained illegally) listed on one side and the price they were sold for on the other. And it was _a lot_ of money. Some of tech going for over millions of dollars. “So this has been Zarkon’s main source of income all these years.” Lance added.

 

Allura nodded and scrolled further down the list. “The whole city has been wondering how Galra Tech has been able to remain open all these years when hardly anyone has been working there. They also haven’t come out with any new original tech in at least two years.”

 

“He’s been controlling the underground.” Hunk added. His brow was furrowed. “How do we know this is legit? Why would someone even send us any of this in the first place?”

 

Lance hummed in agreement. It could easily be someone trying to mess with them. Hell, it could even be Zarkon sending out fake information to get Altea off his tail. “I thought about that too,” Pidge started, taking over the holoscreen keyboard, “So I did some quick cross referencing on a lot of the tech that has been sold. Almost everything that has been listed has been stolen. There is even some Altea tech that we reported stolen on the list.”

 

“What does that prove?” Hunk asked.

 

“It proves that all this tech is being stolen and sold on the black market.” She pointed at the holoscreen, “See where all these dates are listed? These items were all sold only a day or two after they were reported stolen.” She scrolled even further down the document that had been sent to Allura, “And here, look. This is a list of all the money being funneled into Galra Tech. There are a couple of other places that some of the money went to, but I can’t figure out where.”

 

“So basically, we have a chronological list of where Zarkon has been getting all his money.” Lance added. “And if we can track down any of the stolen tech then we can prove that Zarkon was behind it. Or at least some of it.”

 

Every pair of eyes in the office flew over to Lance. He noticed and shrugged. “What? Its true. Whoever sent this is probably trying to help us.”

 

Shiro rubbed at his chin. He looked like he was weighing all his options. “But how do we know it wasn’t sent to us on purpose?”

 

Matt wrinkled his brow. “Isn’t that kind of the point?”

 

“No, no,” Shiro waved a free hand, “What if it was sent to us so we’d use it to try and catch Zarkon? What if he is watching us and waiting for us to make a first move? This could be a trap.”

 

The room grew quiet again. Hunk ran his hands through his hair and dropped his head onto the edge of Allura’s desk. She absentmindedly reached out and stroked the back of his neck. Pidge continued to scroll through the document, searching for a shred of information that they could’ve missed. Matt rubbed at the scar on his cheek. Lance stood back and watched it all. Then it was like a bell went off in his head. It had to be Keith. Keith did this. His mouth dropped open and he quickly closed it again. No one was watching him so he pulled his communicator out of his pocket and sent a message to the same unknown number from last night.

 

_You did this didn’t you? Sent us all that underground information on Galra Tech_

Lance started to bite at his thumbnail. His leg jumped up and down from stress. Then a message appeared on his screen.

 

_I didn’t technically send it, but I made it happen. You can trust this information. I promise. Just be careful with it. As long as you don’t make any obvious shows then Zarkon will have no idea._

A smile spread across Lance’s face. This was all part of Keith’s plan then. Good. They were getting closer everyday. Now he just had to convince everybody else that they could use this information without telling them about Keith. He shoved his communicator back in his pocket and crossed his arms over his chest. Taking a breath he said, “I say we take this chance.” Again everyone’s eyes swung towards Lance. “This is legit information. Pidge proved it. It won’t do us any good to just sit on it. We’ve been trying for years to get Galra Tech off our backs. This is our chance.”

 

Shiro hummed. “You’re probably right.”

 

Matt left Pidge’s side to go stand next to Shiro and wrap an arm around his waist in reassurance. “Lance is right. This is too good of an opportunity to pass up. We thought we got a one up when Lotor started to work with us but…” Matt’s sentence trailed off for a moment. Shaking his head he gripped Shiro a little tighter. “We just have to be smart about this.”

 

Allura spoke up. “Matthew is right. If we play our cards right then Zarkon will have no idea that we have any of this information. It’ll be slower since we have to use caution, but we may never get an opportunity like this again.”

 

After a few more minutes of deliberation Allura sent everyone back to their offices with a task much different from their usual daily work. “I’ll send this document to everyone. Pidge will code it so that only members of Altea staff can see it. Once you all get it I want everyone to start to try and track down any of these stolen items. Or see if there are any patterns in what has been stolen and why.” She stopped and grabbed Hunk’s hand and squeezed. “I do not think I will have to tell you all to use the upmost caution during this process. We cannot slip up and allow Zarkon to become aware of this. If he does find out… well. It won’t be pretty will it?”

 

Sighing she looked to Shiro, her second in command. “There will be good to come out of this. I know it.” Shiro smiled and nodded. Soon everyone was back in his or her personal offices, waiting for the document from Allura. Lance glanced up at the empty office across from his and for the first time since Keith went missing he didn’t feel a pang of sadness. Instead, he felt the smallest inkling of hope.

 

He pulled his communicator out again and sent a message to Keith. Then his holoscreen dinged and he opened up the document and got to work.

***

 

Keith’s communicator chirped. He ran over to the counter and grabbed it and found a message from Lance.

 

_Thank you_

He breathed a sigh of relief and slid down to the floor. Lotor walked into the main space of the basement and saw Keith slumped against the wall. “Did it work?” He asked.

 

Keith nodded. Standing up he went and stowed the communicator in its hiding place. Thace, Ulaz and Shay were coming over for a meeting soon. “Yeah. Lance must have been able to convince them to trust that it was good information.”

 

“Good.”

 

“And we’re going to tell Thace and Ulaz that we hacked into Rolo’s systems and sent them the information.”

 

“Right.” Lotor started, “And when we start staking out the pick up spots we should soon know who has been receiving goods from my father.” He sat down on the couch and picked up his notebook and flipped through it. “All the pieces are finally starting to fall together.”

 

Keith sat down next to Lotor and gripped his hands together. “I just hope this all actually works. There are so many red flags. One misstep and the entire plan could fall apart. And someone could get hurt, or worse.” An image of Lance bloody and broken flashed through his head. Groaning he dropped his head into his hands. He couldn’t stop images of Shiro, Matt, Hunk, Pidge and Allura flashing through his head either. The lives of everyone he cared about were on the line. He flinched when Lotor put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I know how worried you are. And I’m only sorry that I can’t relate to what you’re feeling right now. There isn’t anyone left that I care about, but there is a lot riding on this for you.” Lotor waited until Keith looked up at him, “But we can do this. There are already holes in my father’s empire. It’s just up to us to find them and rip them open. Then there won’t be anything he can do to hurt anyone anymore.”

 

Lotor then offered Keith a hand. Keith clasped Lotor at the elbow. “We’re in this together now, right?” Lotor asked, a smile on his face.

 

Keith exhaled and felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. “Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.”

 

Lotor loosed his grip and put his elbows on his knees. “And if my father tries to hurt anyone you care about, you can rest assured I’ll kill him myself.”

 

Keith blinked in surprise. “Jesus Lotor.”

 

He looked back at Keith and rolled his eyes. “It wouldn’t be a hardship. Believe me. He is nothing but a tyrant that uses his power to crush those beneath him.”

 

Keith was going to reply but he heard the door above them open. Cracking his neck he stood up and went over to the table where he and Lotor had laid out their plan. It might take a bit to convince Thace to hop on board, but this was the best chance they’ve had in years. Lotor was quick to join him at the table. Keith glanced over at him out of the corner of his eye. It was a strange feeling to trust Lotor so completely. A couple months ago they would hardly speak to each other. Now they were coming up with plans together. But Keith saw a lot of himself reflected in Lotor. They were both tired and broken from years of abuse. Lotor even more so than Keith.

 

In the end they were both reaching for the same goal. And it turns out Lotor wasn’t nearly as much of an asshole as Keith has previously thought. It was true that Lotor had done some really fucked up shit to him when Keith was Zarkon’s captive, but good would it do Keith to hold a grudge on a man that was just doing it so they could both live another day? Keith’s eyes moved down to the maps and other assorted papers on the table in front of him. Besides, he might not even live through this. If he were going to die at least he’d die with a clear conscious.

 

Before Keith could think any harder about the whole situation Ulaz and Thace walked into the room. But they were alone. Keith glared at the empty space waning in the doorway. “Where’s Shay?” He asked, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

 

Ulaz glanced at Thace and sighed. “She said she could catch up on the information later.”

 

Lotor’s shoulders dropped a notch. He ran his hand through his now short hair. “Its my fault. I do apologize.”

 

Keith glanced back at Lotor and sighed. “No, it’s her fault. She’s too stubborn to acknowledge that you’re actually helping us.”

 

Ulaz came around the table and patted Lotor on the shoulder and smiled sadly. “I’m sure she’ll come around sooner rather than later.”

 

Thace came up to the table and gave Keith a look. “So,” He started, “What do you two have for us today?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey guys. I'm sorry I kind of fell off the face of the planet for a couple months. I started working on this chapter before season 8 came out and I kind of lost steam after the shit show that was season 8. I'm not going to get into that debate because the fandom argued enough about it already. 
> 
> I also was just really excited about this fic. It is so different (and so much longer) than anything I have ever written before. At first the response you guys were giving was incredible and I really felt like you guys were enjoying reading this fic as much as I was writing it. But the last six or so chapters there hasn't really been any response at all, and much as I hate to admit this, it really does hurt my confidence as a writer. And I am fully aware I am not even close to be a "known" fic writer, but when you pour your heart and soul into something it just feels odd when there isn't much to show for it. 
> 
> Now I fully understand that probably came across as me whining, but I put it out there. 
> 
> To anyone that is actually still reading this disaster of a fic, god bless you. I'm going to do my best to get this thing finished because the last thing I want to do is leave Lance and Keith hanging. 
> 
> I have no idea when the next chapter is going to come out, so I'd love it if y'all were patient with me. 
> 
> One last thing, the song Lance sings to Keith is called "Be My Mistake" by The 1975. It is off their most recent album if anyone is interested in checking it out. 
> 
> Happy reading to anyone that is still left!


	18. The Lance That's Always Got My Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, back with another chapter! A little shorter than last hope but I hope you'll forgive me!

_Somewhere in the Mountains_

“I love you. Of course I do. God I’m so stupid.”

 

Lance still couldn’t believe it. Keith loved him. And he loved Keith. They were in love with each other, at the same time. _“Jesus fuck.”_ He thought. He had been awake for a while now, just staring at Keith. It wasn’t like he _hadn’t_ done this before. He and Keith slept over in each other’s rooms at the Garrison all the time, so he would watch Keith sleep sometimes. Back when he thought that was all he would ever get. But now…

 

He couldn’t even process that thought. His heart felt too big. What do you do with all this, feeling? It felt like he was going to explode. All of these feelings would just come crashing out his heart.

 

God, Keith was beautiful. Even though he was such a disaster when he slept. Lance had slept with his siblings a lot when he was younger so he was used to chaotic sleepers, but Keith was something else. His hair stuck out at all angles, tangling in on itself into a disheveled mess. His eyelashes were dark smudges on his cheeks, and he almost always slept with his mouth open.

 

Not today though. Keith was curled onto his side, one arm under the pillow and the other resting near his heart. He was shirtless, it had been a little awkward when they had gone to go to sleep, but Keith always slept without a shirt. And if Lance could handle a shirtless sleeping Keith back before he told Keith he loved him… well shirtless Keith now was a very selfish prize.

 

His breathing was deep and even. He looked perfectly content. Lance lost track of time as he lay there and stared at him. As far as Lance was concerned he could stare at Keith, memorizing every groove and dip in his face until he went blind.

 

After quite some time Keith finally stirred. He made a small sound in the back of his throat and rubbed at his eye. After another moment he opened his eyes and blinked, waiting for vision to focus. Lance had to laugh as Keith’s brain played catch up with his eyes. He blushed a bright crimson and looked sheepishly at Lance. “Hi.” His voice was still broken with sleep and it sent a jolt straight to Lance’s stomach.

 

“Hey.” He reached out to brush some hair off Keith’s forehead. Keith’s blush deepened. Lance let his hand retreat and he asked a question that filled his stomach with nerves. “This… all this is ok, right?”

 

Before Lance had a chance to react Keith pushed forward and kissed him softly. When they separated Keith sighed and said, “Of course it is.”

 

Lance let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Wow. Ok. Good.” He grinned, it felt like he was on top of the world.

 

Keith closed his eyes again and smiled. “What time is it?”

 

“A little after 9.”

 

“Should we get up?” Keith rolled onto his back and turned his head to stare at Lance. His hair was a little shaggy and there were faint traces of dark circles under his eyes. The contrast from the blue made Keith’s knees weak.

 

Lance rolled until his elbows were on either side of Keith’s shoulders. They both blushed but Lance managed to keep his cool. “I could make some breakfast.”

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

“Hmm…” Lance pretended to think, but as he stared down at Keith he only had one thought on his mind. Moving forward slightly he captured Keith’s lips with his. Keith responded instantly and the minutes ticked by without either of the boys noticing. When they finally pulled away Keith’s red, bitten lips and half lidded eyes would have been enough to bring Lance to his knees had he been standing. He gently pushed some hair off Keith’s forehead and smiled. “I know you love my cooking Mullet, let me go make you something.”

 

Rolling his eyes Keith pulled Lance down for another quick kiss. “I’m gunna go shower.” He sat up and ruffled his hair, “Do you still wanna go skiing?”

 

Lance propped up on an elbow. He did want to go skiing but the idea of staying home with Keith all day… well that sounded a bit better. Keith picked up on what Lance was thinking and laughed. “Don’t get any ideas Sharpshooter. You got to laugh over me trying to surf. This is my revenge.” Lance laughed with him.

 

“Fine. Fine. Go shower. I’ll have breakfast ready when you come down.” Lance got out of bed and leaned over to kiss Keith again, and then he slipped out of Keith’s bedroom and down the stairs.

 

Keith sat on his bed for a moment longer trying to absorb the events of the last 24 hours. Lance was actually in love with him. Lance McClain, the bright star in Keith’s dark life, loved _him._ Keith Kogane, a nobody, a punk kid with attachment issues and major depression. Keith felt a blush spread onto his face so he threw the covers off his legs and paced down the hallway to the bathroom he and Shiro used to share.

 

He turned the water on in the shower and just looked at his reflection in the mirror. His lips were still a bit swollen and his hair was a mess. He _might_ have a hickey on his collarbone from last night. _“Lance McClain gave me a fucking hickey.”_ A smile cracked open the stern expression on Keith’s face. He didn’t deserve this. How could he ever deserve Lance? Keith swore that he would do everything in his power to always make sure Lance knew just how much he loved him.

 

Finally turning from the mirror Keith jumped in the shower and let the unrelenting spray work at the knots in his neck. As he scrubbed shampoo into his mop of hair he distantly thought about Lance showering. Or Lance showering with him. Like, at the same time. Keith felt a tight heat in his stomach and opened his eyes and shook his head. _“Calm down Kogane. You literally just confessed yesterday.”_ He shut the water off and wrapped a towel around his waist and grabbed another towel to scrub through his hair. Burying his face in the towel he did his best to expel thoughts of a naked Lance next to him in a shower.

 

Sighing heavily he went back to his room to pull on black joggers and a red t-shirt. As he headed downstairs he heard music playing from the Bluetooth speakers in the kitchen. The scent of coffee pulled Keith to the kitchen. He stood in the doorway and watched Lance for a minute. The other boy still only had on sweatpants and no shirt. His shoulders still held a bit of a golden tan from the last time Lance had been home. His brown hair was also getting longer, curling over his ears and on the back of his neck. Keith leaned his head against the doorframe and smiled. This was too much for his heart; it felt like he was going to burst.

 

Lance turned around then and noticed Keith in the doorway and matched his smile. “Already stalking me Samurai?”

 

“You wish.” Keith walked around the counter and met Lance and wrapped his arms around his neck. “What did you make me?”

 

Lance’s arms encircled Keith’s waist and he leaned his forehead against Keith’s. “Hm. Remember when my mom made that weird breakfast sandwich that you loved so much?”

 

Keith let his head fall back for a minute, “You didn’t.”

 

“Of course I did.” Lance’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. He leaned back in toward Keith, “Anything for you.”

 

This time it was Keith that leaned in first and kissed Lance. He tangled his hand into Lance’s short hair and let the other fall against his neck. Lance’s arms tightened around Keith’s waist, one hand teasing at the hem of Keith’s red t-shirt. Lance pulled away before Keith was ready and bit his lip at the angry look on Keith’s face. “Your coffee is gunna get cold idiot.”

 

Lance moved away and grabbed a couple things and gestured for Keith to join him at the breakfast table. “I think you gave me a hickey last night.” Keith said.

 

“Did I?” Lance’s eyebrows shot up.

 

Keith took a sip of his coffee. “Mhm. Got a little excited, huh?”

 

Lance blushed and looked out the window. “Oh shut it Mullet.”

 

***

_Present Day_

Thace sat back and put some papers back on the table in front of him. He crossed his hands underneath his chin and sat in deep thought. Keith and Lotor watched him expectantly, wondering if their plan had worked out.

 

Ulaz had finally stopped pacing and was standing at the head of the table, palms flat against the surface. His shoulders hunched in and he glared at the various objects and papers scattered before him. Keith had been nervous before but the two older men’s silence was making it worse. He pulled his lighter out of his pocket and lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Rubbing a hand against his forehead he tried wishing away the headache that had started the moment Ulaz and Thace had walked in.

 

“So you sent encrypted files to Altea.” Ulaz finally spoke, still not looking at Lotor or Keith.

 

“We did. But there is no possible way they could trace it back to us.” Keith lied through his teeth. Of course it had only taken Lance a couple minutes to figure out Keith was behind this, but Lance didn’t know that it was Rolo that had sent the information. And Thace and Ulaz didn’t know about _any_ of it.

 

“How are you so sure the crew at Altea won’t just scrap it and think it was a joke?” Ulaz asked. Thace still remained terribly quiet. It was setting Keith on edge.

 

Lotor answered this time. “We are banking that they will trust the information. It was a shipping list. Hundreds of items that my father and his cronies had stolen from other companies and sold on the black market. That isn’t information Zarkon would just let slip.”

 

“So how were you two able to get ahold of it?” Thace finally spoke, his tired gray eyes piercing into Keith’s.

 

Ah. Keith knew Thace would probably see this whole situation as a bit unbelievable and he went right for the weak spot Keith expected him to. “When Zarkon was holding me captive I worked on a lot of their security details. Firewalls and shit like that. Plus I worked with Altea, and Pidge, for a long time. It took some doing but I was able to hack back into the system. But what we sent to Altea was the only information I could get a hold of.” He glanced at Lotor who nodded at him, “And of course Lotor can still get into a lot of the minor systems. Though Zarkon did kick him out of all the other bigger networks.”

 

The two older men stayed silent again for a few long moments. Keith took another drag and slowly exhaled, the smoke blurring the figures of the two men. It felt wrong lying to them like this, especially after all they had done for him, but there was no way the four of them would be able to do this on their own. They _needed_ outside help. If they kept doing what they were doing Ulaz and Thace would be old men by the time Galra Tech was finally done for.

 

They both deserved better. They had hardly started their lives together before Zarkon and Galra Tech had ripped it to pieces. Hell, Ulaz had almost lost Thace god knows how many times at this point. The world had dealt them the shitest hand possible. Keith wanted nothing more than for Thace to stop living in hiding and for Ulaz to stop looking over his shoulder everywhere he went. And fucking hell, what he was doing, if it worked, would give them the life they deserved.

 

“I know you’re upset that we did this without consulting you first,” Lotor started, “But it needs to be done. You cannot continue on like this. There is only so much we can do on our own. What good would it do for us, people living in hiding, to report my father to the police? They wouldn’t believe us. But if Altea is able to help uncover what Galra Tech has been doing… they _will_ believe a company like that.”

 

Ulaz sighed and looked at Thace. “They’re right. We done all that we can in the position we are in.”

 

Thace rubbed his chin and sat up in his chair and picked up a few papers before speaking. “You both risked a lot for this. Thank you.” He closed his eyes briefly and then pointed at a map on the table. “So where are the major shipping points that your father uses?”

 

Lotor and Keith glanced at each other briefly and let out and internal sigh of relief. The two older men hadn’t seen through their façade after all. Now they just had to wait for the crew over at Altea to handle their end. And Keith would be there to help Lance along. Rolo wouldn’t go tattle on them because if he did he knew he would end up dead. Everything was finally starting to fall into place.

 

“Most of them are a quite a distance away.” Lotor pointed to several spots on the map. “He uses the port out of Seattle quite frequently. Portland is also a major stopping point for the bigger items.” He grabbed a red marker and started to circle a bunch of smaller towns around the Seattle and Portland areas. Keith felt his brows furrow.

 

“Wait, wait. You mean to tell him your father is shipping shit out of the Garrison?” Lotor had just circled the Garrison and several of the smaller surrounding towns, including the one they were in, of course.

 

Lotor sighed heavily and ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Admiral Sanda is the one responsible for dealing with my father. She uses the Garrison as a cover. The dealings with Sanda just began a few months ago though, I am almost positive some of the stolen items that were shipped through the Garrison were on the list that the Altea crew received. It should be relatively easy to trace it back to her.”

 

Keith stared at the table in front of him. He remembers a couple classes that he had to take with Sanda. She was stern and intense. She was never friendly with any of her students, so she stood out amongst her peers. There was always something about her that Keith hadn’t really liked; she seemed concerned with her own wellbeing and no one else’s. Shiro had told Keith about an instance where she yelled at a student until he cried for not passing a flight exam. He felt a rage boil up inside his stomach that he hadn’t felt in a while. The Garrison was supposed to be a place where gifted kids could go pursue their dreams, not a den for criminal activity.

 

“Keith, if you keep thinking about whatever you’re thinking smoke is going to start coming out of your ears.” Ulaz said, snapping a couple times to bring Keith back into the conversation.

 

“Sorry. Sorry. I’m just upset.”

 

Ulaz snorted, “Yes, son we can tell.”

 

Lotor put a hand on Keith’s shoulder, “Don’t worry. She won’t be able to continue what she’s doing for long.”

 

“We can get on the Garrison shipments right away.” Thace started, sitting up a little more in his chair, “If we can crack that open then the press will take notice and make Zarkon and his cronies nervous. That should be enough for one of them to slip up.” He stood then and looked to Lotor and Keith, “Get on it you two. And find a way to contact Altea and get them on the same page. If you brought the company into the equation then I expect you to use them.”

 

He headed out of the basement with Ulaz close behind. The door shut behind them and Keith collapsed into Thace’s abandoned chair. He took one last long drag from his cigarette and then stamped it out underneath his boot. Running his hands through his hair he met Lotor’s eyes in disbelief. “I can’t believe that shit worked.”

 

“You’ve got to give yourself more credit Kogane.” Lotor laughed and rearranged some papers. “You worked hard on this, you should be proud.”

 

“I’ll get ahold of Lance soon…” His voice trialed off.

 

Lotor noticed the look on Keith’s face. “What is it?”

 

“Everybody at Altea, besides Allura, graduated from the Garrison. It’s going to devastate them when they figure out what has been going on there.”

 

“It isn’t _everyone_ at the Garrison that is involved in this. Only Sanda is involved. I know how hard this must be, but my father didn’t get his grasp in the Garrison until a couple months ago. And now you all have the power to stop this before it goes any further.”

 

Keith rubbed his face and sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. I just never imagined anything underground or shady happening at the Garrison. They’ve always been in the spotlight because of how advanced they are, but this kind of publicity is going to be catastrophic.”

 

The two men lapsed into a strained silence. Lotor was the first to break the silence, “You know, I applied at the Garrison. I would’ve been in the same class as Shiro and Matt. I did get accepted but my father made me decline the offer. He thought I could better schooling elsewhere. I ended up at MIT. I had a great time, but I always wondered what I missed out on.” He smiled ruefully, “I think you and your friends are a special case though. I have never seen a tighter group of friends.” He paused, “I’ve always wondered what that would be like.”

 

“Hm.” Keith felt his heart tug; Lotor had been alone for too long now. “It was a special place. Shiro made me go, I got in completely on recommendations. I was training to be a pilot. But for a large majority of my first year there I only hung around Shiro and Matt because I knew them. Lance eventually broke down some of my walls and we became friends and Hunk and Pidge kind of adopted me.” Keith smiled softly as he thought back to his early Garrison days, “It was never really about _being_ at the Garrison for me. I just went because I didn’t know what else to do. It was Lance that made me think of it differently. He had poured out his heart and soul to get into that school. It was his biggest dream and he was going to make the most of it.” He frowned then; this was going to be hard on Lance for sure.

 

“Don’t worry, it’ll still be a dream for generations to come.”

 

***

Lance was sitting at home, holoscreen in front of him. With a slight flick of a finger he was going through thousands of pieces of tech equipment that had gone missing throughout the years. He had another smaller holoscreen on his coffee table that had listings of equipment that were up for auction throughout the world. If he could match up even a few of these items then he might be able to pinpoint _when_ they went missing and then find out _where_ they had been shipped out. They were so hideously close to finally getting Galra Tech. But the end goal still seemed so far away.

 

Ever since the night he had sang to Keith he had been a bit out of sorts. He was angry; he just couldn’t quite place what he was angry at. Himself maybe. Galra Tech for sure, for taking Keith away from him. And maybe he was a little angry with Keith too. If he had been _that_ fucking close why hadn’t he just told Lance to come outside? Why didn’t he just go running when Keith said he was that close?

 

Why did they keep dancing around each other? Lance knew it was more dangerous for Keith right now than it was for him, but what harm could a couple minutes do? Even though they had spoken to each other, physically _heard_ each other’s voices there was still a tiny nibbling of doubt in the back of Lance’s head. That this would be all for not. That in the end it was never actually Keith, that Lance had just been going crazy from grief. All he wanted was a minute; even just a fleeting _second_ to see Keith, to touch him, just to know that is actually still here.

 

Lance stopped flicking through the tech equipment and ran a hand over his face. It had gotten a little easier to just exist and keep going now that he knew Keith was out there running around, but it also brought on a thousand new worries. There was a constant nagging fear that even if Altea and Keith’s group was finally able to bring a stop to Galra Tech that Keith wouldn’t make it out of this alive. Or that Keith just wouldn’t come home in the end. Maybe he had been away too long to feel like he could come back. And Lance was eventually going to have to tell everyone that he had known Keith was alive for _months_ and didn’t tell anyone about it. Shiro would be the most hurt. Keith was his cousin, no, his brother.

 

“Fuck.” Lance got up and started to pace. This was beginning to eat him up inside. He felt like the forces that were pulling him in two different directions were stronger than before. Maybe he should tell Shiro. But could he trust Shiro not to tell anyone? He supposed telling Matt would be ok too… but that would put them in even more danger as well. And Keith told him not to tell anyone. Was it Keith’s choice? Or did Lance have a right to tell everyone? Frustrated tears welled up in his eyes and he blinked them away. Stalking into the kitchen he pulled the fridge open and found and iced coffee.

 

Opening it he wandered back into the living room and saw that he had a new message on his communicator. Maybe Hunk wanted to get together or something. They had all been so busy with all this new Galra Tech information that they had hardly seen each other. But when Lance flicked open the message he saw that it was from another unknown number. All it said was:

 

_Call me?_

Lance felt a small smile on his lips. “Keith?” He wondered aloud. He typed the number in and waited anxiously as it rang a few times before the person on the other end of the line answered.

 

“Sharpshooter.”

 

Lance’s entire body relaxed at the sound of Keith’s voice. “Samurai.”

 

Keith chuckled on the other end of the line and Lance completely fell apart. “How have you been?” Keith sucked in a breath, “Sorry. I’m an asshole.”

 

“You’re right, you are an asshole, but you’ve always been one.” Lance grinned in spite of himself, “Honestly though, not great.” He rubbed at his forehead, “I’m just sick of not being able to see you.”

 

“God, I know. Staying away has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Keith sighed and Lance could almost _see_ him biting his lip. He always did when he was stressed or complaining about something. “But we’re close. We are so close. Having Lotor on board on my end and the rest of Altea helping has been monumental for our progress.”

 

“So, Lotor. That’s all ok now?”

 

Keith sighed again, “It wasn’t at first. And there will always be a small part of me that is going to be a little scared of him. But he’s been through the wringer. He’s a good guy, just raised by shitty parents and even shitter circumstances.”

 

“If he makes it out of this alive I’m still going to deck him for what he did to you.” Lance’s fist clenched. “But if you trust him then I do too.” He heard wind blowing on Keith’s end. “Are you outside somewhere?”

 

“Yeah. I’m on top of an old water tower.”

 

“Still looking for thrills, huh?”

 

Keith smirked as he stared at the setting sun. “Always.” He could hear in Lance’s voice just how stressed and exhausted he was. “Babe.” On Lance’s end he heard him suck in sharp breath of air. Keith smiled, “I love you.”

 

Lance laughed lightly, “You always knew how to trip me up.” He stayed quiet for a bit, “I love you too.”

 

Keith closed his eyes and let the words wash over him. “I’ll be saying that to your face soon. I promise.”

 

“I’ll hold you to that Kogane.”

 

Just then Keith mentally slapped himself, “I did have something I needed to tell you. Its serious.”

 

Lance pushed papers around on the coffee table in front of him until he found a pen and paper. “What is it?”

 

“This morning Lotor was showing us some of the major shipping ports for the stolen goods and apparently the Garrison is one of them.”

 

“Wait, no. Seriously? The Garrison?” Lance blinked in confusion, staring blankly into the holoscreen in front of him.

 

“Yeah I know. I didn’t want to believe Lotor either. But for the past couple of months Admiral Sanda has been working with Zarkon to ship things in and out of the Garrison in secret. Since so many supply trucks run through that area anyways it’s easy to sneak stolen goods onto certain trucks.”

 

Lance wrote down everything Keith said, heart sinking. “Shit. Is Lotor sure that it is only Sanda? No one else is involved?”

 

“Not that he knows of.” Keith worried his bottom lip, “But if we can expose what has been going on at the Garrison it will get a lot of publicity…”

 

“And Zarkon or some of his buddies are bound to get shaken up and make a move.” Lance finished for him. “God this sucks.”

 

“Yeah, it really does. And no one at Altea is going to be happy about doing this, but this has been the biggest chance we’ve had in years. We gotta take it.”

 

“I understand.” Lance looked at the paper in front of him and felt a sting in his heart. The Garrison had been such a place of discovery for him. For everyone at Altea. “I’ll get everyone else to look into it.”

 

“Thank you, Lance.” Keith’s voice grew so incredibly soft and sad, “I gotta go now but… I’ll be home soon. I feel it in my bones.”

 

Tears streaked down Lance’s face and onto the paper on his lap. “Promise me?”

 

“Promise.”

 

***

The next day at work Lance called everyone into the conference room. With the tip from Keith he had been able to match several pieces of tech equipment valued at millions of dollars that were now up for auction in other parts of the world. And from what Lance had been able to find those pieces had been in the area of the Garrison before they had disappeared. Feeling a little sick to his stomach he pulled the stats up on his holoscreen. “So, I’ve found a connection between some of the missing pieces of tech.” He started, flicking around his notes. “And the tech has gone missing around the area of the Garrison.”

 

Hunk’s brow furrowed as he looked over Lance’s notes on his own holoscreen. “Wait, so you’re saying the Garrison is somehow involved in this?”

 

“Not the Garrison as a whole. I think it is only one person. If the whole of the staff knew about this someone would’ve reported it to the police by now.” Lance bit the inside of his cheek. He knew that it was Sanda because of what Keith and Lotor knew, but he couldn’t tell everyone how he randomly fell upon Sanda being the culprit. All he was able to tell the rest of the crew was about the tech going missing around the Garrison. “I’ve located about six different pieces of tech that have gone missing when they are within a couple miles of the grounds surrounding the Garrison. Then several days later the same tech came up for sale under different companies and the tech are listed under false names.”

 

“Are you absolutely positive that the Garrison is actually involved?” Shiro piped up, looking a bit pale.

 

Lance sighed, “I am positive. Trust me, I don’t want this to be the truth either. But it is the only lead we’ve found so far and we’ve been sitting on this information for a week now. No other patterns are appearing.”

 

Matt patted Shiro on the shoulder and sent him a reassuring look. The only person in the room that didn’t look affected by this news was Allura. She tapped her fingernail against the glass tabletop. “So how do we go about exposing the Garrison?”

 

“Exposing them?” Pidge sputtered.

 

“Precisely.” Allura met eyes with Lance. Hers were glimmering. “Lance knows what I am talking about.”

 

“Lance?” Pidge questioned, her eyes large.

 

He sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, “The Garrison has gotten loads of press coverage since they opened. That hasn’t changed. So, if we find a way to expose the person behind this then it’ll be all over the press.”

 

“And it might be enough to shake up Zarkon or some of his underlings.” Allura finished. She flipped through Lance’s notes on her holoscreen. “If we can pinpoint a pattern of how and where the tech goes missing then we could try to alert the authorities about it and hopefully catch someone. Or even multiple people.”

 

The rest of the room stayed quiet. The rest of the group was still trying to absorb the fact that their Alma matter was involved in illegal workings, with their biggest and most dangerous rival no less. Allura finally looked up from her holoscreen and saw the dismal looks on her coworker’s faces. “Oh.” She said simply.  

 

“Look, guys. I know we all have extreme emotional attachments to the Garrison, but this might be out only chance. We thought we had an in with Lotor, but he’s gone now. We love the Garrison, of course we do. But if we help expose this then we might be able to find who is responsible and get rid of them. Then it’ll go back to normal.” Lance pleaded. He was just as fucked up about this as anyone, hell the Garrison had seen the absolute best and worst years of his life. He came into his own; he fell in and out and back in love with Keith at the Garrison. It was a special place. “We have to take this chance.”

 

Hunk looked up at Lance. The two stared each other down for a moment. Hunk had been worried about Lance lately; he seemed a little out of sorts. But Hunk could tell that Lance was deadly serious about this. He wouldn’t have brought it up unless he was 100% certain about it. “Lance is right,” He turned to face the rest of the group, “Who knows when another opportunity like this is going to come along? One of us could get hurt, or worse in the meantime.”

 

“We don’t have any guarantee that this will cause any sort of reaction from the underground though.” Matt piped up. His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked conflicted. “So should we really risk it?”

 

Allura’s usually calm face quirked. “I think you are asking the complete opposite question. There isn’t a reason _not_ to do this. Even if we come up empty handed then at least we are finally starting to catch onto Zarkon. The only way we can finish Voltron and get it out into the world is if Zarkon is gone! You all know this!”

 

Her outburst sent the rest of the team into an awkward silence. She turned back to Lance, “You know I’m right Lance.”

 

“I do. But you have to understand what exactly we are dealing with here…”

 

“Of course I know what we are dealing with!” Allura stood up, “You all seem to be catching up with me! Zarkon nearly ruined this company and drove my father to his sick bed! I have wanted to get rid of Galra Tech for years but no one else listened to me. And what did we get from it? A half functioning Voltron and Keith missing and dead!”

 

Lance flinched and stepped away from the table. Blinking rapidly he noticed Allura’s expression change as she realized what she said. “Oh Lance, I never…”

 

“Its fine.” He said tightly, picking up his holoscreen and turning it off. “I’ll leave the rest to you guys. The business that most of the tech goes missing from is called Tech Emporium. It is only a thirty drive from the Garrison.” With that he walked about the conference room and back into his office. Biting his lip until he drew a little blood he held back the angry tears that threatened to spill out of his eyes. Allura was just frustrated. They all were. But damn, when she was mad she went for the lowest blows.

 

He turned his holoscreen back on and glanced up when Hunk walked into the office and shut the door behind him. Didn’t do much good since everything else was glass, but Lance appreciated the gesture. “You ok buddy?” Hunk asked, his voice dripping with concern.

 

“Yeah, I’m good. She didn’t mean to say it. We’re all just a little tense right now.”

 

Hunk sat at a chair across the desk from Lance. “She just doesn’t really understand the attachment we all have to the place. She’s never even been to the Garrison. Really her only exposure to it is when we’d show up every other weekend when she was working at that ice cream place.”   


They laughed at the memory. Hunk had gone to that ice cream place so much that eventually just walking in the door and smelling the ice cream made him sick to his stomach. “So she doesn’t really get why we are all so hesitant. But I get it. This is going to have to be a risk we need to take.” Hunk reached out across Lance’s desk and waited for a fist bump. “But I’m behind you buddy. Always have been, always will be.”

 

Lance lightly bumped his fist against Hunk’s. “Thanks buddy.” He flipped his holoscreen around so Hunk could see it. “This is the business that I was talking about. Tech has been disappearing from the place about once a month. I think if we cross reference time stamps for everyone that works at the Garrison we can try and find out who was off campus during the thefts. That might point us to who the culprit is. Then we can get a shadow on them and see if we were right.”

 

Hunk hummed, deep in thought. “Yeah, yeah. I can get Pidge on that right away. She’s the fastest when it comes to date analysis. Hopefully she will have a couple different people in mind by the end of the day.”

 

“Maybe Matt can try to get ahold of those old friends of his that worked at that detective agency and get them to shadow for us.”

 

“Good idea.” Hunk stood and headed back of Lance’s office. He paused as he looked over at the dark office that used to be Keith’s. “He’d be proud of you, ya know.” Hunk looked back at Lance and smiled sadly, “And even though this is dangerous he would have loved it.”

 

Lance laughed to hide the fact that his eyes misted over, “He always was a junkie when it came to the thrilling stuff. That’s why he got that damn motorcycle.”

 

“Right.” Hunk felt his heart leap a little. He mentioned Keith and Lance didn’t immediately retreat into that shell of his. Maybe Lance was _finally_ starting to move on. “But you loved that motorcycle too…”

 

Rolling his eyes Lance went back to work on his holoscreen, “I liked the way Keith looked on it more than the actual bike.”

 

Hunk left Lance’s office laughing.

 

***

By the end of the day Pidge had narrowed down the suspects at the Garrison to two different people. One was math professor none of them had ever had. But from his pictures he looked like a quiet and scrawny guy that had never done anything wrong in his life. The other was Admiral Sanda.

 

_“Keith was right again. Of course he was.”_ Lance thought as he headed home. Matt had gotten ahold of his old friends and they were willing to shadow both suspects. The math teacher would probably be cleared within the next couple of days. Sanda on the other hand, she was in for one hell of surprise.

 

If the pattern Lance had detected stayed the same then some form of tech should go “missing” from Tech Emporium within in the next week. The store had tried upping their own security since tech had started being stolen from them, but the crew at Altea had the hunch that it was probably someone on the inside helping Zarkon’s men.

 

The shadow that would be following Sanda agreed to do so for about a month, and since Lotor and Keith already knew for a fact it was Sanda then the shadow wouldn’t need nearly that long. So now all they could so was sit back and wait to see if this scared anybody in the underground. Everyone at Altea was geared and ready to watch businesses associated with Galra Tech. If any of those smaller businesses made a move that was out of character or sketchy then they could make their next move.

 

_“So damn close. Finally, we are so close.”_ Lance parked his car in the parking lot of his apartment complex and wearily climbed the stairs to his front door. He was mentally drained. There had been so much going on in the past couple of months it felt like he hadn’t shut his brain down in months. Maybe he should schedule another appointment with Ulaz soon. Ulaz was the only person that Lance could wholly unload on.

 

Lance closed his apartment door behind him and kicked off his dress shoes and hung up his jacket by the door. Flicking on lights he mused over everything that had happened today. Keith had his own stuff happening on his end that would help in Sanda being found out as well. If everything went according to plan then news of a criminal hiding in plain sight at the Garrison should be hitting the papers by the weekend.

 

He paused in front of some of the pictures he had unpacked a while back. He was drawn to a picture that had been taken just after they had graduated from the Garrison. Lance and Keith hadn’t been talking to each other for months at that point, and they both realized how stupid they were being and came back together at graduation. In the picture they were both crying, arms wrapped around each other. Lance had his nose pressed into Keith’s cheek and Keith was smiling from ear to ear. You could just make out Pidge and Hunk in the background, looking like they were rolling their eyes. They had been telling Keith and Lance for months that they just needed to talk to each other and everything would be cleared up.

 

Lance gently touched Keith’s face through the glass and smiled sadly. Rolo had always tried to come between them, and to this day Lance couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. He should’ve never listened to Rolo. But he was younger then, more insecure. Rolling his eyes he moved away from the photo. “Karma’s a bitch.”

 

***

_Somewhere in the Mountains_

“Wow, you _really_ suck at this.” Keith wheezed. He was standing over Lance, laughing. Lance was desperately trying to get the hang of skiing and was failing miserably.

 

Lance huffed up at him, covered in snow and humming with righteous fury. “I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong!”

 

Keith held out a hand and helped Lance up. Dusting some of the snow off Lance’s jacket he said, “You got your skis crossed. Of course you were going to fall.”

 

“No, I swear I was doing French fries. Just like you showed me!”

 

His cap had also gone askew so Keith adjusted it and put his hands on Lance’s cheeks. “If you _had_ been doing French fries then you wouldn’t have fallen.”

 

Lance huffed again and glared off into the distance. “Maybe you’re just a shitty teacher.”

 

Keith drew his hands back, feigning shock. “Me? A shitty teacher? If anything you’re the bad teacher. You tried for hours to show me how to surf and I could never get it and your sister explained it to me once and I finally got it.”

 

Lifting a brow Lance crossed his arms over his chest. “I was explaining it perfectly well, you just didn’t listen to me is all.”

 

Rolling his eyes Keith helped Lance get his boots back onto his skis. “Wanna try again Sharpshooter?”

 

“Whatever you say Professor.”

 

For the next couple hours Keith and Lance laughed and struggled to get down the mountain. Well, Lance struggled, Keith mostly laughed. But he had been skiing since he was really young. It came as natural to Keith and surfing came to Lance. By the end of the day Lance was hot, bothered and exhausted. As Keith drove them back to his house from the resort Lance fell asleep in the passenger seat, arms crossed over his chest. He looked so stupidly adorable that Keith was surprised he didn’t drive off the road.

 

He pulled into his driveway and sat and watched Lance sleep for another fleeting moment. Then he gently shook the other boy awake. “Hey, Lance. Wake up. We’re back.”

 

Lance groaned and rubbed at his eyes and winced when his neck cracked. “Did I fall asleep? I’m sorry.”

 

Keith unbuckled his seatbelt with a smile. “Its ok. Skiing is exhausting. I passed out on your living room couch after surfing all day. Now we’re even.” Lance smiled back and they climbed out of the car and walked back into the house hand in hand. “What do you want to eat?” Keith called over his shoulder. Lance was going upstairs to shower.

 

“Do you wanna order something?” Lance paused on the stairs and craned his neck to see Keith in the kitchen.

 

“I’ll surprise you!” Keith called back. He just caught Lance’s smile as he drifted up the rest of the stairs. Keith decided to make something his parents made all the time before they died. Even though Keith was younger when they died he still remembered this recipe. It was his favorite comfort food.

 

He turned the speakers on and flicked through the songs on his phone and got to work. About twenty minutes later Lance walked into the kitchen, hair wet and still sleepy. “Hey.” He said, coming up behind Keith and wrapping his arms around his waist. Lance rested his chin on Keith’s shoulder and softly kissed his neck. Keith thought it was going to take them a lot longer to get used to… well all the couple shit. But they fell into it so easily. It was basically natural for them to be so close, to always draw the other in. And Keith didn’t mind _at all._ Hell, kissing Lance, holding his hand, playing with his hair, it all felt better than Keith could have ever imagined.

 

Keith leaned his head against Lance’s. “Have a nice shower?”

 

“Mhm.” Lance’s voice vibrated through Keith’s shoulder, sending a chill down his spine. “What’d you make me?”

 

“Something my mom and dad used to make all the time.” Keith stirred the pot of soup he had whipped up. Lifting a spoon to his mouth he determined that it was ready. “Wanna eat out on the porch?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Soon the boys were settled on the porch swing, soup in hand, gazing out at the mountains. Their legs were tangled together and the swing swayed back ever so slightly from the breeze. The sun was beginning to set and it made for one hell of a view. “I’m really glad we came up here.” Lance said.

 

Keith glanced at him and smiled. Putting his soup bowl down on the porch he traced lazy circles along Lance’s arm. “Me too. I was super nervous about it though.”

 

“How come?”

 

“I don’t know… I guess I was a little embarrassed. Your family has always been so welcoming to me and my aunt and uncle aren’t even going to be here. And I was just nervous to be truly alone with you.” He grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

 

Lance captured one of Keith’s hands and stroked his thumb back and forth across Keith’s knuckles. “I think we needed this though. I mean how much longer were we going to dance around our feelings for each other?” He met Keith’s eyes and smiled, “And it’s ok that your aunt and uncle aren’t here. I’ll meet them someday.”

 

As Keith watched Lance he felt an idea sprout in his head. He grabbed their empty soup bowls. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He didn’t wait for Lance to respond as he dashed inside, put the bowls in the sink and then booked it up to his room to get his guitar. Ever since Lance had played a song for him he had wanted to do the same. And he finally thought of the perfect song. Dashing back outside he met Lance’s surprised eyes.

 

“Are you about to serenade me Mullet?”

 

Keith dropped a quick kiss on Lance’s cheek. “You bet your ass I’m going to serenade you.” He settled on the porch swing and ignored Lance’s embarrassed protests. He was a little scared to sing in front of Lance, he wasn’t as good, but he had to do this.

 

_[When](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HYDsd3fOOE&frags=pl%2Cwn) nightmares come _

_Keep you awake_

_Baby close your eyes_

_I’ll take the weight_

_But I won’t speak_

_I will refrain and be the song_

_Just be the song_

_When inner scars_

_Show on your face_

_And darkness hides_

_Your sense of place_

_Well I won’t speak_

_I will refrain and be the song_

_Just be the song_

_Flow down all my mountains_

_Darlin’ fill my valleys_

_Flow down all my mountains_

_Darlin’ fill my valleys_

_Flow down all my mountains_

_Darlin’ fill my valleys_

_And when you run_

_Far from my eyes_

_Then I will come_

_In dead of night_

_But I won’t speak_

_Til mornin’ light_

_I’ll be the song_

_Just be the song_

When Keith finally stopped playing his hand was shaking and he hadn’t looked at Lance since he started playing. He realized how cheesy he had just been and he was sure Lance had hated it. But when he looked up he saw that Lance was crying. “Shit,” Keith mumbled, “Was it that bad?”

 

Lance laughed, “No you idiot, I just…” He wiped his eyes and stroked Keith’s cheek, “I just love you a lot, ok? And I’m just very happy.”

 

Keith blushed to his ears and it took him a second to formulate any words. “I love you too. Of course I do.”

 

Grabbing the guitar and setting it down on the porch Lance pulled Keith into a hug that Keith immediately responded to. He buried his face in Lance’s neck and just breathed. The soft breeze blew around them and rocked the porch swing but they didn’t move. Another minute passed before Lance pulled away. Pressing his forehead into Keith’s he timidly whispered, “Do you wanna go inside?”

 

Pushing back a bit Keith felt his eyes widen. Lance looked at him expectantly and blushed. “I mean… we can just, go to bed? If you aren’t into that-“ He was cut off when Keith kissed him.

 

“Yeah, lets go inside.” And when Lance smiled back at him Keith had never felt more in love. He grabbed Lance’s hand and picked up the guitar and guided Lance back inside. Shutting the door behind them Keith flicked off lights as they headed upstairs. He was nervous but Lance was too. They were on the same page, just like they always were.

 

He opened the door to his room and propped the guitar against a wall and sheepishly turned back to Lance. He was going to say something but Lance had already lunged at him and captured his lips with his own. Keith answered the kiss and they stumbled over to his bed and collapsed on it in a tangle of limbs. When they finally pulled away to breathe Keith pushed the hair off Lance’s forehead. God he was so ridiculously beautiful. It didn’t even seem possible. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” He asked softly.

 

“I don’t know about that,” Lance dropped feather light kisses along Keith’s jawline, “You are pretty one in this relationship.”

 

Keith felt himself freeze. Lance noticed this too and pulled away. “Did I say something wrong?” His eyes were filled with concern.

 

“No, no.” Keith shook his head and sat up a bit. “It’s just, say that again. What you just said.”

 

“That you’re the pretty one?” Now Lance just looked confused.

 

“No, after that.”

 

It finally clicked in Lance’s head. “Oh. Oh. I said relationship.” He covered his face with his hands. “And you don’t want this to be a relationship. God I’m so stupid.”

 

Keith shook his head violently and grabbed Lance’s wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. “No… I want that. I want to be in a relationship. With you.” He tried to stop the flow of words but they kept coming. I want to be your boyfriend. Your terrible boyfriend.”

 

Lance laughed lightly and kissed Keith through the laugher. “I want to be your boyfriend too.” He pushed Keith back onto the bed, “God, we’re a mess aren’t we?”

 

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

 

***

_A Few Months after Graduation from the Garrison_

“Babe I have an idea.” Lance came into their bedroom with two cups of iced coffee and a pensive look.

 

Keith glanced up from his laptop and smiled when Lance greeted him with a kiss. “What is it?”

 

Lance sat down on the bed next to Keith and looked at the floor. “You already have a couple tattoos. That are so completely hot by the way.” Keith chuckled and waited for Lance to go on. “And I was thinking, I don’t know… what if we got tattoos for each other?”

 

“Really?” Keith quirked a brow. He noticed that Lance’s face fell. Lance must have thought Keith thought it was a stupid thing to do. “Babe, it’s a good idea.”

 

“You think so?” Lance met his eyes with a hopeful expression.

 

“I love it. What did you want to get?”

 

Lance took a sip of coffee and thought for a moment. “I had a couple different ideas actually. Like, maybe I could get your last name and vice versa. Or I thought each others initials could be cool too.”

 

Keith also mulled over this. The last names idea was bad, but he didn’t think it quite fit. Lance brought up one more idea, “Or, and I know this sounds so stupid but don’t hate me, what if we got our nicknames?”

 

A smile spread across Keith’s face. “So I’d get Sharpshooter and you’d get Samurai?” Lance nodded sheepishly. “That would be so fucking cool.”

 

“You really think so?”

 

“Of course. And it’s completely unique to us.” Keith reached out to touch Lance’s cheek, “My Sharpshooter.”

 

“And my Samurai.”

 

Several weeks later Lance and Keith were in a local tattoo studio, waiting for their turns to get inked. They were holding hands, looking at the designs their artist had drawn up for them. They chose a simple font for both of them, they didn’t want them to be too flashy or in a font that no one could read. The artist came over, “You guys ready?”

 

Lance smiled and leapt to his feet, “As we’ll ever be.”

 

Keith went first. He couldn’t stop smiling as he stared at the stencil of the word “Sharpshooter” on his wrist. It only took a couple minutes to finish up and then it was Lance’s turn in the chair. He got a little teary eyed when he saw the finished “Samurai” etched into his skin.

 

They thanked and generously tipped their artist and left the studio, hand in hand once again. “Are you happy with it?” Lance asked, gently tapping the wrappings over Keith’s wrist.

 

“I love it.” He stopped walking and waited until Lance stopped as well, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too Mullet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF. So we got a little bit more on Keith and Lance at very beginning of their relationship, and the action is finally about to begin. 
> 
> If you're still here god bless your soul and thank you for sticking with me for so long. Only a few more chapters to go folks. 
> 
> I also didn't proof read this AT ALL so I apologize for all the mistakes you probably came across.


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